Team America

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Off-Season Projects, Olympics

Okay, Team USA Hockey, I’m disappointed.

While the internets, Alison and Lindsay, and our twitter feed is all a flutter with Team Canada’s Olympic Camp, all we’ve got from Team USA are crickets.

Now we know that hockey is the #4 sport in this country and we’ve reluctantly come to terms with this but the appalling lack of coverage is making us feel decidedly less patriotic.

TSN has got all the video & interviews.  All we got was Dustin Byfuglien’s man boobs.

Look, we get that Team Canada has a disproportionate amount of talent.

We get that their roster looks like the next season of “The Bachelorette.”

We get that the Olympic gold medal is theirs to lose.

But come on! Don’t forget about the Red White & Blue!

Hey thurrrrrrr….

Team USA does have one very important thing going for it.

Forty-eight of the players that showed up to Kettler Ice Plex in Virginia this week have played together on a US National teams over the course of their careers.  In fact, when team gear was passed out this week, there were no name tags.

Everyone knows each other. Everyone is friends. It’s all just one big happy family.

Team USA has an average age of 24.6 years old.  Zach Parise and Dustin Brown are considered the “veterans”.

They are 29 and 28, respectively.

Nine players from the US team that won bronze at World Champtionship as well as players from the team that won gold at World Juniors were all invited to camp.  There is John Gibson, age 20. And Alex Galchenyuk, age 19.  Jacob Trouba, age 19.

With the exception of the young whippersnappers, many of the returning players were on the 2010 team that suffered that heartbreaking loss in Vancouver.  You know that their collective disappointment over that being so close to the gold medal is going to fuel their fires.

Although they won’t be able to skate during camp due to insurance issues, the team will have plenty to do during camp – one-on-one meetings with Coach Dan Bylsma, team bonding, braiding friendship bracelets and making smores by the campfire.

Team USA will be at the Washington Nationals game tonight, so if you happen to be there and see  Ryan Kesler, Patrick Kane,  Jonathan Quick, Bobby Ryan, Keith Yandle or any of the other guys, say hello.  Give ’em a high-five and one of these.

I’m sure they’ll appreciate your patriotism.

AMERICA!!!

Team Canada – Casting Call

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Hot Like Fire, Newsies, Well OBVIOUSLY.

#CAMP may be over, but camps are just beginning.  Invitees for Team Canada’s Olympic camp were arriving in Calgary all weekend, as documented by this airport employee:

canada11Source: Twitter

There is a space for volunteers.  AND IT IS BLANK.

leia

Alas, the enterprise of TSN is not to be underestimated.  They were live on the scene with camera equipment, like any good reality-based programming would be.  To honor their commitment, we present Team Canada hopefuls in…

bach

If you don’t watch The Bachelorette… well neither do I.  But I enjoy the scathing wit and hilarious nicknames of BachCap on lostangelesblog.com.  In that spirit, we bring you this season’s contestants [full video].  At first there are so many, you can only categorize them as:

The Hot One

Too obvious?  No.  One guy is always really, really ridiculously good looking.  Out of the girl’s league.  Out of everyone’s league.  You kind of hate him until you find out he rescues puppies and shovels snow for old ladies and reads iambic pentameter to goldfish.  Then you just wonder what on Earth kind of moisturizer Sidney Crosby uses.

canada2

The Married Guy

One contestant always looks like a fake.  Like he told his wife he’d be in Shanghai on business for two weeks and will only confess/divorce to being on The Bachelorette if he doesn’t get kicked off in the first episode.  To cement the role, Duncan Keith obviously has a newborn child at home.

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The Confidence Guy

We don’t mean “con man” in this sense, we mean the guy who walks into a room and instantly makes everyone feel like they skipped a shower and borrowed Mom’s favorite cat sweatshirt on laundry day.  You look at this guy and wonder why you even try.  Then Confidence Guy brings you a beer, asks about your favorite book and the entire TV audience is in love with Steven Stamkos before the Bachelorette even comes down the stairs.

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The Kid

The Bachelorette’s first words will be, “He’s too young for me.”  Then she’ll gush – and we mean GUSH – about how energetic, enthusiastic and positive he is, how he has less baggage and his whole outlook is rosy.  Because this chick didn’t become the Bachelorette by having a series of great relationships.  Basically the last Bachelor liked her soooooooo much that he almost just barely didn’t ask some other girl to marry him.  After that, Taylor Hall looks like freshly fallen snow.  In a Lululemon pullover.

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The Sleeper

He’s cute.  He’s nice.  There’s an embarrassing on camera moment, during a pontoon boat-and-private island luau group date where she forgets his name.  He’s completely adequate in every unchallenging way, which is why suddenly there are only three roses left and this guy’s still in the room.  The he busts out his guitar for an a capella, “You don’t know you’re beautiful… That’s What Makes You Beautiful!” and BAM.  The Hot Guy’s crying the back of a limo and Corey Crawford’s on the cover of People Magazine.

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The Hair

Any date involving motorcycle rides, surfing or the general blowing of a fair breeze and the camera will zoom in for a slow motion hair flip that no girl could pull of so coquettishly.  You may not remember Braden’s name, but calling him The Dread Pirate Roberts will be the highlight of your Monday night.

canada7

The Freshman

Not to be mistaken for The Kid, The Freshman is old enough to play the game.  In fact he memorized the rule book, the strategy guide, the bylaws and did ALL the homework before he was dressed a half an hour early for the limo pickup.  He’s more ready for this than the Bachelorette herself.  Just wait till the Hometown date – every mom in TV land has been screaming for the Bachelorette to pick John Tavares.

canada8

The Quiet One

A lot of guys make a lot of noise.  The Quiet One waits it out, a bashful smile here and there, and a smart Bachelorette takes the bait.  When this guy gets the first one-on-one date, none of the other contestants can even remember what Patrice looks like.  But we know.

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The Bad Boy

Let’s be honest, Bachelorette.  James Neal is not going to call you back.  John Tavares will call you 57 times before James even reads the text you sent.  You’ll only answer John’s call in case that’s the very moment James calls and gets voicemail.  What if he doesn’t leave a message?  Will your phone show a missed call?  James is the first guy the Bachelorette is making out with – and no one knows that better than he does.

canada9

There’s SO much more from camp already:

I could go on all day.  Thanks to Lindsay and Alison for 100% legwork on these photos.  There will be new guys, nicknames and a few will even be voted off, but you must wait until the next episode of The Bachelorette.

#CAMP – Day 3

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Things We Learned on Twitter

#CAMP BioSteel Day 3 has come and gone and I’m still wondering what it is we’re supposed to “figure out.”

Then at :46 of this video, I stopped caring.

 

Biz, you can sell me a car anytime.  (I prefer the Mazda 3.)

 

And just because I can…

camp31

#CAMP – Day 2

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Things We Learned on Twitter

#Camp Video, Day 2.   All you need to know is…

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Damn it, Dallas.

Only kidding!  Thankyouverymuch, Stars.

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Also HI JOEL WARD!!! And Hal Gill never ages.  Is BioSteel really embalming fluid?  Because the man doesn’t look a day over 28 (he’s 38).

Okay, have at it.

 

Nealer was interviewed on TSN last night and Lindsay took a picture of her television.  That’s how much she loves us his A+ hair and scruff combo.

James

Right?  She’s always right.  The debate still rages about the tattoo though.  She and I say stop.  Alison (and I’m guessing Chuck) says keep going.  Votes?

neal1 Pre-haircut photo. Don’t panic.

And today… here’s an Instagram video of him handsomely throwing something.

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See you tomorrow for more #CAMP.

#CAMP Out

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Things We Learned on Twitter, We Love

It’s time for the best #CAMP we never went to: Camp BioSteel.

Exhibit A: James Neal pulling something heavy, showing off his short hair.

camp1

The photo’s from this Globe and Mail story about James aiming to impress at Olympic Camp.  As in “James might not make the Olympic team.”

Don’t even play.

The goal of #CAMP is for these players to be more than ready for training camp, which starts on Sunday for Team Canada.  That camp is in Calgary.  All packed, James?  Including Lindsay’s phone number for emergencies?

camp2

I cleverly arranged to tag from this to show you James’ #CAMP shirt and shorts.  I thought, “Oh cute, it’s required.”  But Stamkos lurking on the left there isn’t wearing head-to-toe team gear like a super excited college freshman, so… oh who cares.  There’s just enough tattoo showing to distract us.

Biosteel has long loved us as much as we love them, and shows it by putting together these videos.

 

There’s a lovely skate-by from Stammer at 1:27 to remind you a) how graceful he is and b) he wears pants with lightning bolts on them for a living.

I love hockey.

camp4

Follow BioSteel Sports on Instagram (instagram.com/biosteelsports) and Twitter (@BioSteelSports).   Hope you hadn’t planned on working today.

More Moments, Please.

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Things We Learned on Twitter

If you put all of my favorite things into one of those lottery machines and gave it a few spins, what are the odds that these four things would fall out?

  • Stamkos
  • #TeamEbs
  • Cabbie
  • Coca-Cola

The answer would be zero, but that’s already the name of this campaign.

coke4

These two will star in the next “Moment Zero” feature for Coke Zero.  The first brought us Kevin Wheeler, and Ebs’ distractingly perfect and probably autobiographical performance as a guy whose mom drives him to games [link].

What do you think this one is about?

coke1

coke7

Here’s a Vine from TSN in which Stamkos tries to trade Cabbibe his Ebs action figure for what looks like a bag of Ring Dings.  I love ya, Jordan, but a bag of Ring Dings is a really good offer.

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Back to the shoot, which took place on August 8.  How I managed not to see this for 11 days… the internet is full of marvels, people.  FULL.

coke2Steven’s Clark Kent hair.

coke3

The idea of hockey players in national ad campaigns, during which people actually recognize them, makes me want to throw this keyboard out the window and walk to Canada.  It’s only 655km, according to Google Maps, which converts all measurements involving Canada to kilometers because it mistakenly assumes only Canadians wants to know the distance.  I want to know!  I don’t understand you!  (Calm and converted – it’s 407 miles.)

coke5

The only way this ad could be better is if it were for Mexicola and Intern Jeff Skinner guest-starred.  Then he brought us those Ring Dings.

Fever Pitch

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Pants Loves, Things We Learned on Twitter

Sorry it’s been so quiet around here!  Chuck has been swamped and I’ve been away for work.  Luckily the internet is everywhere, even during the off-season.

Last week the Rangers, Devils and Islanders promoted the pair of outdoor games they’ll play at Yankee Stadium in January as part of the NHL’s Stadium Series.

stadium1

Welcome to my nightmare: Yankees, Rangers, dead of northeastern winter. While I’d normally rather eat glass, the allure of outdoor hockey could convince even me to attend this game – if the NHL provides the required elements for keeping warm:

1) Snowsuit.  I wouldn’t be able to put my arms down, but who cares.  I don’t plan on clapping for any of these teams.

The-snow-suit

2) Hot chocolate.  Not just a cup, but an entire backpack dispenser brought directly to my seat.  (Like they do at the SF Giants baseball park, because it’s that cold there in summer.)

Ghiradelli hot chocolate backpack dispenser!

3) John Tavares.

outdoor2

Oh, does Tavares have to play?  Well I obviously don’t want the Rangers to win.  John & I can watch the NYR/Devils game together, then during NYR/NYI, I’ll just hug Chuck.

Interestingly, the A is missing from JT’s jersey.  NYR’s Callahan was wearing his C… could a team captaincy be in John’s near future?  Do the Isles want to learn about sedimentary rock strata and other Earth Science topics during road trips?  I think they do.

Plus, who rocks a polo shirt better than a middle school teacher?

outdoor3

Sorry John, I can’t hear over how good your hair looks.  How does anyone learn anything in your class?

class

In case you missed the Tweetspaz where I spammed everyone with a flurry of JT91 photos from this event, here you go.  If you saw that, well here’s video to make it even better.  You can even have this story about lil’ John playing backyard hockey to the point of hypothermia with mini-Sam Gagner [link].

outdoor1

There’s a whole post worth of hockey players wearing Yankees hats (Mike Green, Viktor Stalberg, the list is horribly endless).  They don’t realize they’re hurting us.

John, we know they made you do this.  (Video of first pitch. It’s precious.)

pitch2

It’s not the first time. (Bonus: Video of the Mets first pitch.)

New York Yankees v New York Mets

 Or the best time. (This one was not coerced.)

pitch4

What’s that, Hockey News Yearbook cover that was *just* Tweeted (and forwarded by Lindsay)?  You think John’s going to have a great year?

hockeynews

I certainly hope so.  Only him though, not the Isles, because it’s getting REALLY crowded here in the Metropolitan Division with the Penguins, Capitals, Hurricanes… GAH.  At least I have clear priorities.

I’ll never actually root for the Islanders.  Right?

johntavares from mistfarer, tagged #boyfriendfilter

Crap.  Well someone’s got to play the Flyers.

 

There were other players/teams at this event, and I know some of you care about them.  Don’t say I never gave you anything.

 

 

For the Isles fans – I don’t know what Athletes Quarterly is, but I probably should.  This is adorable.

 

Now, is it October yet?

tweet

Foxy Friday: Gary Roberts

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Off-Season Projects

I”ve never particularly enjoyed the gym.   Or running.  Or sweating of any kind, really.

My preferred method of working out is swimming, 1) because I don’t feel myself sweating and 2) because sometimes I pretend that I’m a mermaid.

But as some of you may be aware, Pants and I are in “training” for the Chicago URBANATHLON in October.  The 10.8 (!) mile course is like a Tough Mudder without the mud.  We get to climb over a bus, run the stairs of Soldier Field, and jump over police barricades.

In short- we are preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Since we signed up to do this thing, I’ve seriously had to re-evaluate my aversion to the gym, especially since I want to finish the race, eat a deep dish pizza, and make it to the Hawks game that night. (What? You didn’t think Pants and I would be in Chicago and NOT go to a game.?  Silly rabbits.)

This week’s Foxy Friday, Gary Roberts, has helped me to do just that.

photo from www.fitnessinstitute.com

Roberts is a former NHLer who after his playing days were over, transitioned to becoming one of the most sought after trainers in hockey.  His gym, Gary Roberts High Performance Centre, is where most of our favorite players work out in the off-season.

It’s like our perfect version of summer camp.  Exceptionally talented and attractive hockey players just hanging out, doing squats and whatever these things are called.

With this race looming large and my ever increasing fear of not making it through all the obstacles, I’m using Gary (and his videos) as my inspiration.

Every time that I work out from now on, I’m going to imagine Gary standing over my shoulder, looking and judging my utter lack of upper body strength.

photo from www.fitnessinstitute.com

When I don’t want to run any more because my compression sports bra is cutting off circulation to my brain, I’m going to think of Gary.

from finnohara.com

Remember ladies (and gents), next time you are at the gym and don’t really want to be, pretend that Gary is there.  .

Now when I’m working out, I’m going to pretend that Gary and all the “campers” working out next to me.

My goal is to look (and feel) like this..

 

But until then…I’ll look (and feel) like this.

 

Follow Gary on Twitter at @GaryRobertsHPT

Birthday Boy: Sidney Crosby

- Posted in Birthday Boy, Pants Loves

It’s 8.7 and that can mean only one thing…

Happy birthday, Sidney Crosby!

sid

Those of us who love Crosby know there are many, many moments of this:

ariel

And more than a few of this:

belle

When Sid is on the ice.  But if he wanted us to base our opinions only on this:

crosby

He shouldn’t have been born on this:

crosby2

Love him or hate him… wait, forget that.  Love him.  It’s his birthday.  It’s summer.  For heaven’s sake he looks like this:

sid10

Over the life of WUYS, if I haven’t made you love Crosby, well then I’ll just keep on trying.  Allow me to present, in celebration of 26 years…

Unofficial Top 10 (Off-Ice): Sidney Crosby

10. I could never look him in the eye and say “stick” without promptly turning to flee in a giggly panic.

 

9. He’s good with kids, by matching them in awkwardness:

 

8. Scratch that, he is the King of Awkward.

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7. He is on the (very) short list of guys allowed to wear a gold chain.

 

6. Do you color code your closet, then organize shirts by descending length of sleeve with a cross-reference for last time you wore that item to a hockey game your team won?  Your crazy doesn’t even register here.

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5. This, if there were an HBO version.

4. Every time Sid doesn’t say what you know he wants to say.  Like when a CBC reporter asked him if he’d thought about never playing in the NHL again.

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3. Then he played in the NHL again.  (Okay, ONE on the ice moment!)

2. Those hockey games that leave everyone:

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1. And every single time this happens.

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26 years old.  Eight years in the NHL, 238 goals, 427 assists.  One Art Ross Trophy, one Hart Trophy, one Rocket Richard Trophy.  One Stanley Cup.  One Olympic Gold.  What do you think, Sid?  Another good year ahead?

sid6

So say we all.  Happy birthday, Sid.

For old times sake: Birthday Boy: Crosby – 25; Birthday Boy: Crosby – 24

Foxy Friday: These Pants

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Things We Learned on Twitter

Some weeks are rough.  Chuck has worked 60 hours already and it’s not even noon.  I’ve had a few days that I could have done without.  We’re all mildly panicking because it’s August and we need to wear every dress and pair of open-toed heels before the weather turns.  We are not tan enough, haven’t been to a water park and pluot season is almost over.  The clock is ticking.

So what would be a nice way to relax on this summer Friday?

How about chocolate truffles, golf, and Steven Stamkos in bright blue pants.

s4from Newfoundland Chocolate Company

The Official Pants of the Tampa Bay Lightning.  The only way this is better is if that mason jar is full of margarita.

Steven’s been playing a lot of golf this summer – he’s very serious about it and keeps a tee behind one ear.

s1

Similarly ditched as he was at the RBC tournament, James Neal was air-drying his flow on the back nine…

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While Steven was being interviewed about how to appropriately wear this summer’s neon fashion trend.

s3He’s doing it right.

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These photos are from the Clowe Purcell Golf Tournament (as in RyanE and Teddy), which raised over $120k this year [link].  Well done, boys.  Check out the Twitter feed, @ClowePurcell.

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Blackhawks Convention ’13

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Off-Season Projects, Pants Loves, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Both Chuck and I are drowning in work today, but over the weekend hockey players were dancing.  Emergency post.

Remember last year’s Blackhawks Convention, when we thought nothing could ever top this?

hawks1 Phone booth not included.

Patrick Kane heard us.  And declared shenanigans.

Bless this girl who gets up to the mic and asks Toews & Kane for a dance off. Bless her to the WUYS Hall of Fame, where Intern Jeff Skinner will bring her favorite non-alcoholic beverage and some candy, stat.  Watch this the entire way through [VIDEO].  If you don’t survive the combination of squirm-inducing awkwardness and dance moves, consider yours an honorable death.

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hawks5 gifs from beauttbennett.tumblr.com

What have we learned?  Jonathan Toews is fun.  At least sometimes.

He boldly teases Kaner then quickly remembers who he’s talking to and tries to retract.  Luckily Corey Crawford is right there for us.  Once you get it Jon, it’s yours.  No takebacks.

hawks2This is my danceface.

Other lessons: You can’t beat Patrick Kane.  Give him an inch and he’ll turn his mile into an almost-lap dance for the ages.

All while looking spectacularly handsome.  Really, WHAT is going on there? Every summer, Patrick Kane sheds his Patrick Kane-ness and turns up looking like that hot counselor you never got at tennis camp.  He checked his reflection in the Conn Smythe Trophy and we promise, Pat, everybody likes what they see.

hawks6 Shave and a haircut, two bits.

While it’s true that maybe the Blackhawks have had enough winning for a while, they sure do make it look good.

There are a zillion other highlights from this event that I haven’t had time to watch.  Tumblr and Google away, friends.  Start with more great photos at photographybykm.tumblr.com.

I’ll be watching this on repeat for two months a while.

Foxy Friday: David Rundblad

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Things We Learned on Twitter

With a name like @letsgofriday, she should know how to pick a Foxy Friday.  And boy did she ever.

Foxy Friday: David Rundblad

I have never (ever, not once) heard of this guy.  That’s pretty rare.  So I Googled him and this popped up:

David Rundblad

First thought: Where has he been all our Fridays?!

Second thought: Obviously in One Direction.  (I don’t really know who those guys are either, but @alisonsykora is teaching me.)

Third thought: Oh, PHOENIX.  No wonder I don’t know him.

David Rundblad was drafted by the Blues in ’09, started in the NHL with the Senators and was traded to Phoenix.  The last two seasons he played mostly with the AHL’s Portland Pirates. He became an RFA this summer and on Monday was re-signed by the Coyotes to a two-year deal [link].  The team is definitely staying in Phoenix (at least that long), so now you know what to look for.

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The best thing about European guys is that they are so unabashedly European.

While sunbathing in the 1950s:

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While eating a sandwich:

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While wearing jorts:

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While posing for nautical-themed black and white photos :

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While doing this interview and further proving that Swedes are allergic to shirts:

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Jeeeeeeez this guy is a gold mine!

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The Swedes could singlehandedly ruin our fun with NHL roster photos by looking like this on school picture day:

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Somewhere in here should probably be something about hockey.

David is a defenseman, 6’2″, 190 lbs.  He was born October 8 (right before me), 1990 (okay, not) and so is 22 years old.  He did make his NHL debut on my birthday (October 11) in 2011 vs. Minnesota and notched his first NHL point in a game I was at (October 15) vs. Washington.

St. Louis traded David to Ottawa on June 25, 2010 for the 16th overall draft pick.  The Blues promptly used that pick to draft highly-touted prospect Vladimir Tarasenko.  The debate over this trade is a whole can of worms you can read about online.  For the record, David’s career stats:

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Hey, it’s July.  Let’s get back to the pictures.

david13Boy Band Hair 101

david14

David’s currently listed on the Coyotes active roster, so expect to see him as early as September 15 (pre-season) or October 3 for the start of the regular season [schedule].  With their new arena lease in place [link], maybe the Coyotes could use some 50-foot high advertising banners.

We suggest this face.  That’ll sell some tickets.

david14

Thanks to @letsgofriday for the very foxy suggestion.  Chuck lives another week without seeing Phil Kessel featured here.

Chip Shots

- Posted in Uncategorized

Back on Monday, Steven Stamkos and James Neal played in the RBC Canadian Open.  As always, golf is just an excuse to make questionable fashion decisions and work on your aim.  Like any good night out.

Stammer took this opportunity to wear this:

golf2 Source: Twitter

What is this math?!  I see constants – hideous sponsor-required Nike belt, chunky shoes, mismatched patterns on hat and shirt – but they act like variables and combine to make a new result.  The sum of this bizarre equation is that Stamkos manages to wear it like the Batsuit and I would Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally the heck out of this, okay?

Stammer also used the power of his white pants to photobomb every single picture of Neal.

golf1Source: Twitter

Normally the idea of a white belt makes me want to die, but this is considered very stylish on the golf course.  My dad would approve (of the belt.  Not James.  Look at his hair.)

golf3James: Here I am, front and center.  Me: Hmmm?  Sorry, what?

Neal finally got one here – he’s being told he cannot pass any closer to Steven’s white pants, but at least we’re getting a look at his tattoos.  And that hair.

golf11

It appears Stammer never went back for James, because there are no more pictures of Neal.  Maybe he left to buy some white pants of his own.

golf5I’m just going to…

golf4… stand like this…

golf6… maybe a little of this…

golf7… pretend to be modest…

golf8…. then surprise you all…

golf9… and bask in the glow of your inevitable adoration.

In case you’re not convinced, or golf isn’t your thing, Steven is also available for parties.  Make that wedding receptions.  If this is the ‘something blue’ I’d like to borrow more pieces of it, please.  Can the bride object to her own wedding from the altar and say, “But I didn’t know he was going to wear THAT?”

stammer stammer2Melissa would like it known that Teddy Purcell is also hot. 

I don’t think the first test of your wedding is meant to happen while the wedding is still going on.  I hope this is the picture on their thank you notes.

The boys also attended the Jay-Z/Justin Timberlake show in Toronto.  Who wouldn’t, right?  There’s always a chance JT is going to bust out the chorus of “Tearin’ Up My Heart” and then… wait.  That’s not why people go, is it?  Damn.

twt

We’re giving this one to James.  The hair is magnificent.  And that’s very nearly a Lightning logo on your shirt – don’t take this bromance too far, okay?

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Birthday Boy: Patrice Bergeron

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Birthday Boy, Chuck Loves, Off-Season Projects, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Happy 28th Birthday to the one…the only…the Boston legend himself, Patrice Bergeron.

Even if you don’t like the Bruins , you love Patrice. Even Pants loves Patrice.

I mean, just look at him.

The way he plays.

The way he carries himself.

His face.

There is a reason I call him ‘Perfect Patrice’.

 

Summer Nights

- Posted in Glamour Shots, Off-Season Projects, Summer Lovin', Things We Learned on Twitter

Oh for heaven’s sake.  Come home from tropical vacation, depressed about going back to work?  Sidney Crosby to the rescue.

[Sorry y’all, copyrighted photos from this post were removed by request.  You’ll have the survive on screencaps from the CTV interview linked below.]

Sid and Brand Marchand took part in the Phoenix Night of Champions youth fundraiser last night in Halifax.  You all know how I feel about Marchand, which basically boils down to CENSORED.  I’ll give Brad a pass for one night since good deeds were done, money raised, Stanley Cup rings worn and, well…

sid1

Gah. SHOULDERS, Crosby.  That shirt is made of hopes and dreams.  What kind of fundraiser is this?  Can I throw money at the stage?

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I’m already giggling like:

sid3From MetroNews.ca

More photos from the event at @CTVAtlantic, @MelaniePriceCTV and @HockeyNS.

UPDATE: Courtesy of @alisonsykora:  Crosby interview at Phoenix event in which the moderator actually fangirls a little and tells him, “”You’re even more handsome than you were before the injury, howisthatpossible?!”

AMEN, LADY.

sid1

I knew the Cup rings were big, but DAMN.  That thing’s like an ice cube.

britney

Also in Nova Scotia, a few days back, Sid practiced with #1 draft pick and mini-Crosbot-type Nathan MacKinnon.  Here’s the practice video, and here are six minutes of interview that I would pay cash to watch on a movie screen.

With popcorn.

sid11I wonder if there are girls watching.

Particularly the moment at 2:34, in which I imagine myself running up behind the camera guy yelling, “For the love of everything, ZOOOOOOOM!”

sid9There probably are, right?

He’s all teeth fixed, hair cut and clean shaven, just waiting to meet your parents.

Sorry. I could go on all day.

sid10Aaaand now I’m nervous. (Hands in pockets.)

The Pens schedule is here, plan your lives accordingly.

Foxy Friday: Instagram

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Instagramtastic, Off-Season Projects, We Love

Last week, it was glasses.  This week, we are continuing with our salute to inanimate foxiness by honoring one of our favorite apps, Instagram.

 

In case you’re not hip to the Instagram, it is an online photo/video-sharing & social networking services that lets users take photos, apply a digital filter, upload them, and share them with the world.

There are well over 30 million accounts on Instagram, and while the majority of them seem to be teenage girls taking countless selfies making the duck face or people taking photos of their food (of which I am guilty), there are a few accounts that truly capture our attention – the NHL hockey player.

Their accounts aren’t run by some publicist or PR team.

It isn’t some slick marketing tool.

It’s just regular dudes, being silly and taking photos of their lives.

Instagram is foxy because it gives us, as fans, a snapshot into who these players are off the ice.

Instagram is foxy because it endears these super human athletes to us more.

Instragram is also foxy because it provides endless entertainment, in pictographic form.

Here are a few of our faves –

b_ryan9 – Bobby Ryan.  Lots of photos of adorable cats.

photo (3)

hank30nyr – Henrik Lundqvist. No explanation needed.

photo (5)

EMALKIN71_  – Geno Malkin.  Lots of photos of him being Russian and hilarious.

photo (2)

No52 – Mike Green.  All things hipster.

photo (1)

colbycohen36 – Colby Cohen.  A boy and his golden retriever.

photo (6)

bollig87 – Brandon Bollig. Beards. Babies.  Chicago.

photo (8)

jlupul – Joffrey Lupul.  Many photos of him looking exceptionally attractive. But sadly none from the Body Issue.

photo

DD2527 – Dustin Penner. I love him so hard. So incredibly hard. Can’t we just date already?

photo (4)

harryz87 – Harry Zolnierczyk.  This photo alone is worth the follow.

photo (9)

tseguin92 – Tyler Seguin.  Recently reactivated.  Nearly not enough photos of Marshall.

photo (7)

 

It’s said that 58 photos and a new user is gained every second on Instagram.  So where are you, NHLers?

Time to get on your photo on!

So WUYS, what your favorite NHL instagram account?  Share it with us in the comments section!

15 Will Get You 20

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, Things We Learned on Twitter

Social media dilemma of the day: You have 15 seconds.  How best to use it?

Correct answer: Gabe Landeskog workout video

gabe1

Push-ups, floor pull-ups, TRX abs and patty cake while wearing an Avalanche shirt sized youth XL.  All from a place that is actually called:

gabe3

Meet you guys at the airport.

gabe2

There’s also this video, which is not mine and is not really safe for anything (including work).  Just makes you want to watch it more now, right?

Remember – when Facebook paid $1 billion for Instagram, it was largely based to the intrinsic dollar value of a Gabe Landeskog selfie.  Prices are guaranteed to increase.  It’s practically insider trading.  Add video to that equation and…

amelie

Foxy Friday: Glasses

- Posted in Foxy Friday, We Love

It started with this:

geno2from Geno’s Instagram

Well no, our obsession with boys in glasses began long ago.  Maybe it was when Chuck and I got our own glasses, or when we realized that we a) are nerds and b) like nerds.  Glasses may be more cool than Coke bottle these days, but the allure remains.

geno1

Smart is sexy.  The appearance of intelligence doesn’t hurt either.  It really helps if you look like you might read a book once in a while, and we’re not talking about the Official Strategy Guide for World of Warcraft.  (Kidding!  Mr. Pants has this.)

geno3

Based on the knowledge that girls do make passes at boys who wear glasses, here’s a collection of indisputable, photographic proof.

Foxy Friday: Hockey Players in Glasses

gabe Okay, that’s unfair.

Now is the time to embrace your inner dork and give in.

bieksa

Don’t kid us with your faux-frames, Kevin!  Kes would never do that.

kesler

Glasses can really improve any outlook.

dustin They cannot overcome two earrings though, Buff.

And make terrifying things like Shea Weber’s beard slightly less so.

weber

Glasses are a gateway drug for hipsters…

mike glasses He’s since had Lasik, sorry.

… and at the same time, their crowning glory.

ference

We haven’t seen these specs since Paul Gaustad left for Nashville…

gustad

Or since Chris Kirkpatrick’s turtleneck wardrobe went out of style.

flower That awkward high school photo of everyone, ever.

They can be used as a disguise…

kanerCape optional.

But if we see them on TV, we’re going to want to see them on your face.  We’re talking to you, James Neal.

neal-glasses

And we’re not above getting your best friend to peer pressure you (or withhold breakfast).

paul martin

Heck, glasses even work on Flyers…

pronger

And ex-boyfriends (who are now Flyers)…

max

And lobsters.

tanguay

You don’t have to be a part-time model.  But it doesn’t hurt.

tanger

BONUS ROUND! Suggested by @jstefanc:

segs

Happy Friday!

Rock Your Body

- Posted in Glamour Shots, Off-Season Projects

As promised, Joffrey Lupul is naked in ESPN Magazine: The Body Issue.

nakedlupul1Saved it from Puck Daddy because they named the file “nakedlupul1.jpg.”

His name is still Joffrey, which is unfortunate.  I bet he gets chills whenever Arya whispers her list.

Here’s a whole gallery of behind the scenes photos from this year’s Body Issue shoots.  Well not BEHIND the scenes, literally – yikes, you need to be careful when talking about this kind of picture.  Anyway, sans lighting and color mapping and well, clothes, Loops looks pretty good.

loops4We see you, dude at the back.  Craning your neck.

The artsy finished product:

loops3Remember that time Cosmo picked Kessel as their hottest Maple Leaf? 

Not to complain about gifts or snacks or naked pictures of hot guys, but I always think the NHL player gets the most boring shot in the every Body Issue.  Other athletes are doing cute things, funny or active things – they’re laying on a pool float or sneaking out a of hotel room with no pants on.  The hockey ones are always so… meh.  Here Ryan Kesler, hold this rock.

This should’ve featured Loops as The David, modestly wearing a Maple Leafs logo.  Obviously.

david

Against all reasoning, we love this shot (which won’t make print).  Less naked?  More clothing?  That seems cruelly, disappointingly backward but this picture is much sexier.

loops1$20 if you spray Loops with that hose, my friend.

Or this one.  Oh, you’re in a bathrobe, driving an Aston Martin?  Is that Starbucks cup for us?  Because now we’re talking, Joffrey.  Drive on.

loops2

Loops had a naked photo internet scandal a while back – Google it if you must, we suggest you don’t.  And don’t read about the Crossing Broad stuff about the girl.  Oh, now you’re going to, aren’t you?  You’ve been warned.  So were they, hopefully by their parents, of being haunted forever by bad, trashy decision.

No one listens.

More on The Body Issue here, including video – but not of Joff.  Remember, ESPN hates hockey.

Growing Older, But Not Up

- Posted in Newsies, Trades

Do you remember the year Ray Bourque left the Bruins for the Avalanche?  The next season he won the only Stanley Cup of his incredible career, then retired?  It was flag-waving, heart-soaring, Disney-worthy stuff.  A Boston sport radio station bought billboards in Denver to wish Ray luck.

If you weren’t crying, you were the Devils.  No – they were crying too.

bourque

This kind of thing doesn’t just happen.  Lately more and more players are moving teams in hopes of a final dash to the little table and a reason to shake Bettman’s hand like they mean it.  2013-14 will be no different.  Here’s a look at some veteran guys trying to get their grooves back.

Jarome Iginla – Boston Bruins

Dust yourself off and try again.  After the trade deadline excitement that sent Iginla to the Bruins Penguins this season, he has landed on the Boston roster.  I would have loved to see him get a full season with Crosby, but the Penguins have $5 to spend and Iginla, at 36, is not a bargain bin guy.

iggy2 Really this time.

He’ll find a good fit with the Bs, whose team has changed quite a bit from what Iginla would’ve joined in March.  The deal is 1 year/$6 million (base salary plus incentives [link]) – a short term, high price, ‘show me what you’re working with’ contract.  Smart move by the Bruins, good choice by Iggy.

Daniel Alfredsson – Red Wings

If you’re old and want to win before you die, consider the Red Wings!  That should be their slogan.  After 17-years in Ottawa, Daniel Alfredsson peaced out in one big cloud of proverbial dust.

alfie Seems legit.

Read the very funny Puck Daddy take on his departure (Harrison blows the cover on my lobster metaphor for good measure).  Alfie got 1 year/$5.5 million, a lot like Iginla, except he’s already 40.  He basically told the Wings to meet him at the dealership with the keys to a Camaro and no jokes about a mid-life crisis.  Will it work?  Both teams finished 7th in their divisions last year with 56 points.  If we were betting our last, fixed-income retirement dollar, we’d go with the Red Wings too.

Danny Briere – Montreal

I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Apparently fifteen teams were interested in Briere… and he chose the Habs.  Ugh, Danny, WHY!?!  I speak French!  I can estimate distances in metric!  (No, I can’t.)  Why don’t the Capitals care about me and bring me polite, elfin forwards once in a damned while?!  All they did was big fat nothing and I’m stuck here with Mike Green’s hand tattoos and Nicklas Backstrom’s babydaddy rumors.  It’s not like we don’t go to overtime!  GAH.

danny Old picture. Nice arms.

I admire the gutsiness of Danny’s choice.  He didn’t want to leave Philly, and he could’ve gone to the Islanders – they are $23 million UNDER the cap [CapGeek.com] and after the DiPietro debacle, they’d hardly be fazed if a washed-up old guy fails to hit the 20 goal mark.  Instead, Montreal is an impossibly tough media market.  A veteran player coming off an underperforming season and a compliance buyout could be made to suffer – and already has.  Google it, you’ll see a lot of Montreal fans are more sick about this than I am.  Danny signed for 2-years, $4 mill/year.

danny2

Now that Danny is a Hab and I’ll have to follow them a bit, here’s one Canadiens blogger rationally considering Danny’s career, potential and role on the new team.  He writes himself into being almost excited to have Briere on board.  That’s good enough for me.  As is this hilarious blog post, complete with LOTR reference.

Milan Hejduk – Not the Avalanche

For a second there, it was going to be “old folks dance at the family reunion” with Hejduk and Tanguay in Colorado.  Sadly, only I want that and just for Throwback Thursday’s sake.

forsale

Word is the Avs will not resign the UFA, who has been with the organization since 1998.  Last season, the Avs gave him a 1-year, $2 million deal.  He won’t get that again.  At 37, his agent says the best look will be a contract with incentives for putting up points (these count against the cap).  That sounds reasonable to me.  With teams giving $4 million-plus, single year deals without guarantees, I imagine Hejduk will find a place that has room under their cap to spend next season.

Jaromir Jagr – Who wants him?

One of many changes so far this off-season, the Bruins will not renew their lease on Jagr.  He made $4.55 million on last year’s contract with Dallas/Boston.  His agent says several teams are interested in signing the 41-year old [link].  Any guesses?  He’s still got it –  9 P in 11 reg season games, 10 A in 22 playoff games – but not to the tune of $4+ million.

jagr

(Note: We are not talking about Lecavalier here because 33 is not old. Jerks.)