Stop the Madness

Did Saturday’s Bruins/Pens debacle really happen?  I kept hoping to wake up and find that it was all just a horrible dream.  But alas, it was not. That mess really did happen.  I’m disgusted in both teams because they are better than that. They have really made me mad.  Like flames on the side of […]

The Forever File

At the Caps game last night, I was hoping Mike Green would give me something to Monday about. Did he ever.   Let me tell you what it looked like in person, at real-life speed.   At least in the end Mike was laughing: Because I will be laughing every day, forever. It’s just so…

Get It Together

An open letter to the Boston Bruins….   Hey guys – Chuck here.  I know you have a Game 7 tonight so I just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement. Don’t F**K it up. Seriously. You had this  series.  You HAD it. You were up 3-1 in the series.  The Maple Leafs […]

It’s All Too Much

During last night’s Capitals vs. Penguins game, the role of the Caps was played by Honey Boo Boo: Or maybe she was playing me, and those pumpkins are my fumbled, oddly-shaped emotions. The Capitals can juggle two things.  Or two periods of hockey.  It’s the third thing, usually the middle period, that falls apart and […]

My Meltdown Moment

I’m trying to think of an analogy for how I feel.  I knew the lockout would cause the cancellation of some regular season games.  I couldn’t stop it, I could only hope to contain it. NHL cancels first two weeks of regular season games – USA Today But now that it’s actually happened I am […]

Lockout Blues

On Saturday night, after the lockout became official, I had a weird, scary dream that I was trying to get to a watch party to see Stamkos score his 60th goal.  No matter what happened, I couldn’t make it.  The ground was mud. I ran into my mom.  Someone gave me a cheeseburger (really).  I […]

I can’t even laugh.

If I were not so pissed about the looming lockout, I would find this caption hysterical. Apparently Intern Jeff Skinner is much smarter than the intern who captioned this photo of Eric Staal.  Either that, or Jeff’s moonlighting at the Associated Press. I know it’s just a typo, but is it an omen?  Does it […]

Mean Girls Club 2.0

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 […]

Shanabanned: Who's Not?

At Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon in Austin, TX, every Sunday night they play Chicken Sh*t Bingo.  It’s exactly what it sounds like – feed a chicken, turn it loose on a tabletop bingo board and wherever it takes a crap, that number goes on the board. I’m pretty sure this is also how the NHL […]


MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Help! The Bruins are teetering precariously on the edge of the abyss…and they are threathening to take me with them. Saturday, they lost to the Capitals.  Yesterday, they got violated by the Penguins.  Patrice Bergeron and Adam McQuaid both got injured.  With Nathan Horton, Rich Peverley, Beniot Pouliot, and Tuukka Rask already out, […]

An Open Letter To Ted Leonsis

I simply have to vent this and get it off my, ah, proverbial chest ladies. As the resident Ovi fan and Captials fan, I know this will come as shock, but I AM SO MAD AT HIM, at them, at the WORLD and have been for some time and I just have to say and get it […]

Had a Bad Day

Yesterday’s NHL Trade Deadline was a snore.  I thought Twitter might melt from all the ennui and complaints, or Alyonka Larianov’s increasingly desperate attempts to hold our interest.  Here’s how things shook out [link]. John Scott was “shocked” to be traded to the Rangers, and was in the middle of doing laundry when the call […]

From: Pants, Re: Your Pants

Nicky B and iCarly hosted a hockey school yesterday.  First John goes on vacation with Mike, now this? [video]  It’s like an all-out offensive being launched against me and Gator. It’s great to see Backstrom doing anything these days.  We have not heard that he’s skating or even working out, though he looks energetic here. […]

Taylor Hall should listen to his mom.

Attention hockey players, Behold reason 2,369,067 to wear a helmet. Warning! Warning!  This may make you queasy.   You are begging….nay –  PLEADING with you all.  Please, for the love of Dear Lord Baby Jesus and Tim Tebow – wear your freakin’ helmets!  We don’t care that it is just warm-up.  We don’t care that […]

Terrible Outbreak of Shpilkis in the Genechtagazoink.

Scott Arniel is the latest NHL coach to catch a case of the shpilkis. He’s out at Blue Jackets head coach.  Todd Richards is in. This morning the Blue Jackets announced that assistant coach Todd Richards will be taking over coaching duties of the struggling team (on an interim basis) for the rest of the […]

Harder to Breathe

I’d like to float the idea that we may have misunderstood the rapture.  It wasn’t coming for us, it was coming for hockey.  And it’s pretty much called up everyone from the Pittsburgh Penguins (I knew they were the best.) James Neal out “weeks” with a broken foot. Jordan Staal out 4-6 weeks with a knee […]

Humongous Big Problem

And I’m not talking about the Universe…. I’m talking about the Philadelphia Flyers and goaltending. For years now, the Flyers organization have had issues  finding just the right goalie to lead them to the Stanley Cup.  They came close in 2010 behind the tandem of Brian “Bobby” Boucher and Michael Leighton, but it just wasn’t […]

Bye Bye, BB.

The Capitals have fired Bruce Boudreau and replaced him with NHL alum and first-time head coach Dale Hunter. It’s the same sort of surprise when you fall out of a tree hit the ground.  It was probably inevitable, but you’re still a little shocked to find that this is the time.   You thought it […]

Yeah….So that happened…

Last night’s game between the Bruins and the Hurricanes was pretty good…. until this happened.   PARTY IN THE PENALTY BOX! But this is a party you wouldn’t really want to go to.  The food is bad.  The champagne is flat.  And someone clogged up the toilet. It was ugly, people.  Oooglay. And like Nine […]

Don't Let the Door Hit You…

Sean Avery has been placed on waivers by the Rangers.  It’s like the episode of 24 where Kim Bauer went hiking in Los Angeles, got cornered by a cougar and had to be rescued by a hillbilly in a bunker.  If she were real, she’d still be dating this jackass. Read all about it on […]