The playoffs are a tough time, when I want all my favorite players to have transcendent, legendary, career-making experiences… while their teams still lose. But someone has to win every round, and so it may as well have happened like this: John Tavares, middle school science teacher, registered tax lawyer and upholder of dad-styles, scores to tie […]
Once upon a time there was an All-Star Weekend that reminded me how much I love hockey. Well, that happens every year. But this weekend, like so much of this season, I didn’t actually get to watch anything. GAH! What follows is the best I was able to mash up from Twitter and my imagination… […]
Hello? HI GUYS! Remember me? I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet and go over half a season of hockey that I’ve mostly missed. How does this happen? My life is like space in Interstellar, where time barely passes, while hockey and this blog remain on Earth, getting 80 years older […]
How dare this premiere while I was away? Picture me, phone in hand, running toward the beach on some Caribbean island, wondering if I can swim from there to Brooklyn. John Tavares, Prince of Khakis, may be second in perfection only to Cabbie, who seems to have a live feed of my inner monologue running […]
VIRUS FREE! Opening Day! We are back and all is right with the world. This post is a few days old, but just as full of things I love about hockey starting today. Love, *P When I saw this: My first thought was: Then my interfriends kindly informed me this was from a commercial – […]
October, you beauty. We wait all year, and usually you arrive with a terrifying array of fresh mug shots or ransom photos calling themselves roster head shots. But this year, you have arrived in style. Take this in: Sidney Crosby woke up on roster photo day and did not shave. Good gosh. He probably ironed the […]
It’s here! The NHL Playoffs! Our lives are on hold until further notice. Welcome to our annual playoff predictions, where Chuck selects teams based on actual hockey things and Pants make wishes on shiny pennies. (note from Pants: Amazingly, we have about the same track record. Maybe I learn things through texting with her.) Eastern Conference Canadiens […]
Oh my God, a blog post. I know. We have been everywhere except in front of our computers lately, or honestly in front of TVs watching hockey. Who vacations in the spring? Fools! I looked at my calendar and all of a sudden: It’s almost April. The Penguins have 9 games left. I AM ALARMED. […]
I wrote 90% of this before the the All-Star Game started last night, and changed very little afterward. My opinion was the same: Best ASG weekend ever. Sure the setup is wonky, the events kind of hokey. Who cares? It’s supposed to be fun, and dammit, it was really fun! Thanks to the players […]
Last night, MSG network premiered their “Beginnings” series episode about everyone’s hot middle school science teacher, John Tavares. I didn’t get to see the show, but it re-airs Friday at 10:30 PM. Verizon Fios carries MSG almost everywhere, so I’ll finally get my million-dollar cable bill’s worth! For now, I’ll survive on these clips – MSG: […]
We are halfway through November, and that means halfway to getting these mustaches off everyone’s faces! Just kidding – we love Movember and applaud the many men’s health concerns for which it raises awareness and funds. Just don’t wear a mustache home to meet our parents on Thanksgiving. This year I donated on the promise that Mr. Pants would […]
Oh, Strombo. Who put these roundtable interview combinations together? Tavares, Giroux and Seguin at the same table? It’s awkward. It’s brilliant. It’s the cast of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Compared to Sid, Hank and Toews all doing the casual leanback, these guys are more nervous and eager. They’re all sitting forward, shoulders up – they even mimic […]
3rd period Earth science teacher John Tavares had his jersey retired by the Oshawa Generals last night. Does this marshmallow cloud have seat belts? Otherwise all the kittens are going to fall off. It used to be there was nothing better than John’s humble awkwardness (which lives on, of course): Now we also get this: Apparently John did […]
Is everyone excited? Training camp has begun, the season is nearly upon us and it’s time to party like John Tavares. John turns 35 today… kidding, he’s 24. Yes, in human years. This clearly demonstrates why the Prime Minister of Canada only has to be 18, while President of the United States must be 35. […]
This. This happened and someone took a photo and the Canadian economy skyrocketed because who wouldn’t pay money to see this? We weren’t in the right place at the right time (never are!), but that doesn’t stop us from guessing that John and Sid were talking about in this hallway: – Belts – “Are your trousers slim cut? ” […]
It’s time again for Camp Biosteel! Always summer’s last hurrah, Camp Biosteel seems quickly followed by training camp, pre-season games and that first time since May our jeans leave the drawer. Per usual, Camp features a million ways to make us feel like a bump on a log this Tuesday morning: Hockey! Cross-training! Tyler […]
We really miss hockey, but it’s safe to say this off-season is going down in history. Best ever? Well, it’s not the worst and I’m not waiting for Friday. The Ice Bucket Challenge began in July in support of ALS research. Read more about it here and hire Frates & Quinn for more marketing campaigns. The movement […]
Five minute post! I’m on computer-free vacaaaaaaaaaation for a week, but I could not leave without giving you this. [youtube.com=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3e4FZd8nuw] There’s a game I like to play with Lindsay and Alison. I call it: Inner/Outer monologue or Tomorrow’s Blog Post? In today’s episode: my reaction to watching this video. FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WEAR A TIGHTER […]
Welcome back, hockey people we haven’t seen in a long time! (Forgive our over-excitement. Our teams can solve this problem by winning more/longer next year.) The NHL Awards are tonight – on a Tuesday. Let that sink in… Tuesday. Rock and roll. We’ll take it, of course, desperate and starved as we are. But not to […]
Hi strangers! Sorry we’ve been a invisible lately, but the holiday weekend brought sunshine and beer even if it couldn’t bring our hockey teams back to the playoffs. In fact, I’m not watching much hockey these days. If your team is still in, I envy you. If your team is out but you’re still watching anyway, […]