Welcome to the White House

YOU GUYS LOOK AT THIS.   That’s MY name. On the FRONT ROW of the WHITE HOUSE event with the PENGUINS and the CUP and POTUS.  Yesterday was amazing!   First, we got to the White House, where I apparently did not set off any security alerts. Good thing they don’t read this blog. After having our […]

Holding Out for a Hero

The playoffs are a tough time, when I want all my favorite players to have transcendent, legendary, career-making experiences… while their teams still lose. But someone has to win every round, and so it may as well have happened like this: John Tavares, middle school science teacher, registered tax lawyer and upholder of dad-styles, scores to tie […]

Goals and Goals

I pity the fool who answers the NHL TV customer service line when I call today. Well, the person won’t be a fool, nor can they actually do anything about the disaster of a changeover from Game Center Live. But still. I don’t pay $150 a year to miss Sidney Crosby hat tricks! Last night, Sid […]

Only Weird if it Doesn’t Work

Today really got away from me – because I spent it recovering from last night, when this happened:   Instant, full-volume inner monologue:   It’s a understatement to say  the Crosbot is off to a slow start this season. With 3 G and 7 A, his 10 points rank him 134th in the League. This from a […]

When in Rome…

How dare this premiere while I was away? Picture me, phone in hand, running toward the beach on some Caribbean island, wondering if I can swim from there to Brooklyn. John Tavares, Prince of Khakis, may be second in perfection only to Cabbie, who seems to have a live feed of my inner monologue running […]

Jackpot! (I had to.)

The Penguins traded their annual Skates & Plates waiter gear for other ill-fitting suits this year and hosted Aces & Ice Casino Night last night. It looked like the World’s Most Awkward Wedding Party. But two drinks in, the bridesmaids are yelling, “DIBS!” and making shanks out of bobby pins. The dads, like Alison’s dad there on […]

Two of Hearts

My name is Pants, and I support two hockey teams. A while back, @eyetotelescope suggested we address the idea of liking more than one team. Many of you are in the same boat (er, on the same door) at this treacherous time of year, when four-point games rain down, winning streaks become glorious victory marches and slumps […]

Never Grow Up

If you keep losing to the Capitals and making me look like a chump in front of important people (like my boss, @raedanda, Mike Green, etc.), the second best way to my heart is through tiny skates and giggling.   Yeah, I’m a sucker.  Check out video of Crosby & friends surprising the Little Penguins […]

Not a Total Loss

For last night’s Penguins @ Capitals game, I was lucky enough to get a luxury suite ticket from my friend Jess.  We also scored passes to the Coach’s Club, which is a magical land at ice level with a ‘make your own nachos’ bar, free drinks and a dessert table.  Sounds good, right? It’s also situated […]

Takin’ It Back

Last night, MSG network premiered their “Beginnings” series episode about everyone’s hot middle school science teacher, John Tavares. I didn’t get to see the show, but it re-airs Friday at 10:30 PM.  Verizon Fios carries MSG almost everywhere, so I’ll finally get my million-dollar cable bill’s worth! For now, I’ll survive on these clips – MSG: […]

8(7+1) Days of Christmas

@raedanda sends me the best work emails! Today it was this KDKA-TV sneak preview of the WHIRL Magazine January cover shoot with everybody’s boyfriends: That’s right – pre-mumps Crosby and Geno, part-time models.  You know I live for shots of Sid putting on his jersey (3:15 mark, someone gif that please). Put this January issue […]

What Goes Around

The best revenge after being dumped is to become more attractive. Exponentially, impossibly, space-and-time-threateningly more attractive. Like James Neal at the 4 minute mark of this post-game coverage. The second best part, right after his face, is how much James hates doing this interview. He doesn’t get sassy, drones through cliches like I nap through […]

Beneath the Ice

You could do worse than to launch your new season and new show with James Neal’s face. The Preds’ “Beneath the Ice” series debuted the other night with 6-plus minutes of what James is good at off the ice.   1. Sitting like a boy. (Remember when John Tavares was the only one with media training, […]

To the fella over there…

Attention everyone: James Neal cut his hair. In fact, James Neal cut his hair a week ago and I didn’t even notice.  How does this happen? Am I so fickle when someone departs my team? I basically wrote, “Friends forever!” in his yearbook back in June, then went to college and forgot about him. A few […]

These are your Captains speaking

On today’s episode of Extreme Diplomacy with Sidney Crosby, Strombo sits down with Sid: Something about this video keeps breaking the link, try this if you can’t see it.  To discuss whatever they are talking about while this plays in my head: If there’s a pseudo-boyband version of a song, I prefer it. Sid does get all […]

Take a Bow

3rd period Earth science teacher  John Tavares had his jersey retired by the Oshawa Generals last night. Does this marshmallow cloud have seat belts? Otherwise all the kittens are going to fall off. It used to be there was nothing better than John’s humble awkwardness (which lives on, of course): Now we also get this: Apparently John did […]

Birthday Boy: John Tavares

Is everyone excited?  Training camp has begun, the season is nearly upon us and it’s time to party like John Tavares. John turns 35 today… kidding, he’s 24.  Yes, in human years.  This clearly demonstrates why the Prime Minister of Canada only has to be 18, while President of the United States must be 35. […]

Mikey Monday

Remember when every Monday was about Mike Green?  Two-plus years of Mondays and that whole time, nothing this great ever happened: I don’t know where this came from, but I saw it in five places and decided that equals public domain.  They are so damned cute, I don’t think they’d care!  Everything is making me happy […]

Boom. Clap.

This.  This happened and someone took a photo and the Canadian economy skyrocketed because who wouldn’t pay money to see this? We weren’t in the right place at the right time (never are!), but that doesn’t stop us from guessing that John and Sid were talking about in this hallway: – Belts – “Are your trousers slim cut? ” […]

Hey, Big Spender.

GAH. Chuck keeps posting pictures of Westlife from a hundred years ago and now the Oilers are back and my boyband meter is off the charts.  Intern Jeff Skinner might get sent to Krispy Kreme to pickup lunch. This week is the 3rd Annual Jordan Eberle & Friends golf tournament for the Hospitals of Regina Foundation.  The event included […]