Growing Older, But Not Up

Do you remember the year Ray Bourque left the Bruins for the Avalanche?  The next season he won the only Stanley Cup of his incredible career, then retired?  It was flag-waving, heart-soaring, Disney-worthy stuff.  A Boston sport radio station bought billboards in Denver to wish Ray luck.

If you weren’t crying, you were the Devils.  No – they were crying too.


This kind of thing doesn’t just happen.  Lately more and more players are moving teams in hopes of a final dash to the little table and a reason to shake Bettman’s hand like they mean it.  2013-14 will be no different.  Here’s a look at some veteran guys trying to get their grooves back.

Jarome Iginla – Boston Bruins

Dust yourself off and try again.  After the trade deadline excitement that sent Iginla to the Bruins Penguins this season, he has landed on the Boston roster.  I would have loved to see him get a full season with Crosby, but the Penguins have $5 to spend and Iginla, at 36, is not a bargain bin guy.

iggy2 Really this time.

He’ll find a good fit with the Bs, whose team has changed quite a bit from what Iginla would’ve joined in March.  The deal is 1 year/$6 million (base salary plus incentives [link]) – a short term, high price, ‘show me what you’re working with’ contract.  Smart move by the Bruins, good choice by Iggy.

Daniel Alfredsson – Red Wings

If you’re old and want to win before you die, consider the Red Wings!  That should be their slogan.  After 17-years in Ottawa, Daniel Alfredsson peaced out in one big cloud of proverbial dust.

alfie Seems legit.

Read the very funny Puck Daddy take on his departure (Harrison blows the cover on my lobster metaphor for good measure).  Alfie got 1 year/$5.5 million, a lot like Iginla, except he’s already 40.  He basically told the Wings to meet him at the dealership with the keys to a Camaro and no jokes about a mid-life crisis.  Will it work?  Both teams finished 7th in their divisions last year with 56 points.  If we were betting our last, fixed-income retirement dollar, we’d go with the Red Wings too.

Danny Briere – Montreal

I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Apparently fifteen teams were interested in Briere… and he chose the Habs.  Ugh, Danny, WHY!?!  I speak French!  I can estimate distances in metric!  (No, I can’t.)  Why don’t the Capitals care about me and bring me polite, elfin forwards once in a damned while?!  All they did was big fat nothing and I’m stuck here with Mike Green’s hand tattoos and Nicklas Backstrom’s babydaddy rumors.  It’s not like we don’t go to overtime!  GAH.

danny Old picture. Nice arms.

I admire the gutsiness of Danny’s choice.  He didn’t want to leave Philly, and he could’ve gone to the Islanders – they are $23 million UNDER the cap [] and after the DiPietro debacle, they’d hardly be fazed if a washed-up old guy fails to hit the 20 goal mark.  Instead, Montreal is an impossibly tough media market.  A veteran player coming off an underperforming season and a compliance buyout could be made to suffer – and already has.  Google it, you’ll see a lot of Montreal fans are more sick about this than I am.  Danny signed for 2-years, $4 mill/year.


Now that Danny is a Hab and I’ll have to follow them a bit, here’s one Canadiens blogger rationally considering Danny’s career, potential and role on the new team.  He writes himself into being almost excited to have Briere on board.  That’s good enough for me.  As is this hilarious blog post, complete with LOTR reference.

Milan Hejduk – Not the Avalanche

For a second there, it was going to be “old folks dance at the family reunion” with Hejduk and Tanguay in Colorado.  Sadly, only I want that and just for Throwback Thursday’s sake.


Word is the Avs will not resign the UFA, who has been with the organization since 1998.  Last season, the Avs gave him a 1-year, $2 million deal.  He won’t get that again.  At 37, his agent says the best look will be a contract with incentives for putting up points (these count against the cap).  That sounds reasonable to me.  With teams giving $4 million-plus, single year deals without guarantees, I imagine Hejduk will find a place that has room under their cap to spend next season.

Jaromir Jagr – Who wants him?

One of many changes so far this off-season, the Bruins will not renew their lease on Jagr.  He made $4.55 million on last year’s contract with Dallas/Boston.  His agent says several teams are interested in signing the 41-year old [link].  Any guesses?  He’s still got it –  9 P in 11 reg season games, 10 A in 22 playoff games – but not to the tune of $4+ million.


(Note: We are not talking about Lecavalier here because 33 is not old. Jerks.)

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Leave a Reply

  1. Shannon Reply

    I know that 35 is old is hockey years (is there a conversion chart of actual age to hockey age?) But, Danny B. and I are the same age, he’s only older by 2 months. 35 is not old! 🙂

    Oh, how I’m going to miss watching him play for Philly.
    The Habs!? We’re going to have to start calling him Daniel aren’t we?


  2. Marissa Reply

    The fact that there was even hope for Briere going to the Islanders and then he wound up with the Habs actually broke my heart. I don’t think I’ve ever been this bummed out about us not getting a player. Also, yeah 23 under the cap and they’re not trying to sign anyone. The Islanders make such bad choices sometimes.

    • Pants Reply

      I have this dream where Sam Ganger goes to the Islanders so he and Tavares can be the best bromance in hockey. Or dorkiest. God, I love them. The Oilers probably won’t let him get away (he’s RFA) and I don’t see him taking a 1-year deal to be UFA next year. But in my head this all works out.

      • Marissa Reply

        I can’t tell if I’m more heartbroken about the fact that we didn’t get Briere or the fact that they tore Briere away from Giroux and destroyed that bromance. Also, I would welcome Sam Ganger with open arms, and I fully support your dream of having him on the Islanders alongside Tavares.

  3. Rhonda Reply

    That’s one of those moments that you realize you’re old…when they start talking about “veteran players” and you realize they’re younger than you.

  4. Totally off-topic nerd fact: It makes sense that lobsters don’t make for life since they are genetically immortal and eternity is a long-ass time.

    • Ahem… *MATE for life.

  5. All I saw was: “Smart move by the Bruins, good choice by Iggy.”

    And then I had a stroke. Pants…right in the heart. I’m still not over this, even though it’s completely irrational. I am hormonal and I don’t care. Jarome, how could you? HOW? UGH.

  6. I just came here to say. Holy arms Danny B.

    • Marissa Reply

      I feel like his arms don’t fit him, he’s too little for arms like those.

  7. Deidra Reply

    I’m seriously dying over “I’m stuck here with Mike Green’s hand tattoos and Nicklas Backstrom’s babydaddy rumors” That’s exactly how I feel too!

  8. I read this as:
    Jarome, more indecisions, lame.
    Alfie: rude, moving on.
    Danny: how did I miss this, where will Giroux eat dinner now, poor Pants—


    • No, seriously, someone please explain how his angelic nature was clearly tarnished. Does this warrant NBC writing a new SVU episode about it?

  9. Through the power of the internet I figured out he has a fiancee. This entire time I thought he was Mike Green’s awkward virgin wingman.

    • Pants Reply

      Carter, I love you. “Awkward virgin wingman” – HA! I didn’t know he was engaged. Yay, Piglet! Apparently he confirmed in a radio interview (in Swedish, very helpful) that they are expecting in October. I hope the baby is born on Mike’s birthday, it would be fitting.

      I also appreciate you assuming that Danny Briere took my feelings into account… then went to Montreal anyway. Without so much as a sympathy cake delivery. MEN. GAH.