Blackhawks Convention ’13

Both Chuck and I are drowning in work today, but over the weekend hockey players were dancing.  Emergency post.

Remember last year’s Blackhawks Convention, when we thought nothing could ever top this?

hawks1 Phone booth not included.

Patrick Kane heard us.  And declared shenanigans.

Bless this girl who gets up to the mic and asks Toews & Kane for a dance off. Bless her to the WUYS Hall of Fame, where Intern Jeff Skinner will bring her favorite non-alcoholic beverage and some candy, stat.  Watch this the entire way through [VIDEO].  If you don’t survive the combination of squirm-inducing awkwardness and dance moves, consider yours an honorable death.



hawks5 gifs from

What have we learned?  Jonathan Toews is fun.  At least sometimes.

He boldly teases Kaner then quickly remembers who he’s talking to and tries to retract.  Luckily Corey Crawford is right there for us.  Once you get it Jon, it’s yours.  No takebacks.

hawks2This is my danceface.

Other lessons: You can’t beat Patrick Kane.  Give him an inch and he’ll turn his mile into an almost-lap dance for the ages.

All while looking spectacularly handsome.  Really, WHAT is going on there? Every summer, Patrick Kane sheds his Patrick Kane-ness and turns up looking like that hot counselor you never got at tennis camp.  He checked his reflection in the Conn Smythe Trophy and we promise, Pat, everybody likes what they see.

hawks6 Shave and a haircut, two bits.

While it’s true that maybe the Blackhawks have had enough winning for a while, they sure do make it look good.

There are a zillion other highlights from this event that I haven’t had time to watch.  Tumblr and Google away, friends.  Start with more great photos at

I’ll be watching this on repeat for two months a while.

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

  1. ceej Reply

    Ohhhhh DRAT! I hatehatehate when you post shit that makes Patrick Kane look all cute and shit… can’t you girls post more Nice hot pix of The King so things can be right and just with the world once again? Thanksyoueversokindly…. ~ceej

  2. Casey Reply

    Thankfully I’m on my lunch break and was able to watch the video. As a diehard Bruins fan, nothing makes me more sad than hearing anything related to the Blackhawks. I’m still bitter. However, I plugged my ear buds into my phone while at my desk.. I’m sure if I watched this on my work computer my supervisor would probably be like, ‘now how do the Blackhawks help us fundraise for our nonprofit in Vermont?’ To which I would have replied ‘sometimes our work can be depressing, so I needed a pick me up,’ and while I’m not sad this little gem was priceless. I started laughing, my floor was like ‘what’s so funny on the database?’ And the rest is just as awkward as the dance off. I’m slightly less bitter towards the Hawks after this video.

  3. Rhonda Reply

    Honestly, does anyone on earth clean up as well as Patrick Kane?

    • Yep, still ceej Reply

      Stammer. Wait… Stammer. Yep. Stammer.

      • Not ceej Reply

        Oh, and his blinding white pants.

  4. I want someone to explain to me how he gets any sort of tan. He’s a redhead. Isn’t he supposed to just burn to a crisp.

    Also. The stupidly tan jacked arms in all photos are too much for me to handle

    • Pants Reply

      BRAVO, Stephanie! Intern Jeff Skinner will be right over with your gift.

    • hotstovebb Reply

      That was YOU!! Congratulations! I was watching online and about fell off my chair. Definitely a highlight of the gun show. How did Sharpy and Shawzer not get the memo?

    • Kaitlin Reply

      WELL DONE! You may be my new hero. Can I challenge you to do the same with Nealer? My summer quest is failing. I blame Nealer not spending vacay in Philly. Shocking really ’cause you think that would be his first choice of vacation spot.

  5. What the hell is with this post and all the ridiculousness??? The Blackhawks Convention is some mythical entity where you can make them show off their tats, dance, undo their shirts and pat their bums just by asking – ALL OTHER TEAMS, TAKE NOTE. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. The August long weekend in Canada is days away and I know what I’m spending three DAYS holed up in my house – catching up on HOURS of gloriousness. Bless you, Blackhawks.

  6. Kathy Reply

    Why can’t other teams does this? Truly impressive….

  7. Rhonda Reply

    Toews reaction to the Kaner Shuffle near lap dance is the same one you have when somebody sings Happy Birthday to you in public…mortified but secretly thrilled too…..


    Seriously, this is beyond amazing and I kind of hate (but only out of jealousy, I swear) Hawks fans for having this much awesomeness.

    But could you imagine this with Lundqvist, Girardi, Hagelin, Boyle, Pyatt, et al? I’d probably stroke out, but I can’t think of a better way to go out.

  9. Kaitlin Reply

    A. Fantastic. Pure gold. The rest of the league should be taking notes. When we run the NHL right ladies?

    B. If you watch the video, Handzus’ face and him calmly sipping coffee. Makes you think these sorts of shenanigans are not outside the ordinary for this team.

  10. Patty Reply

    As a life-long Chicagoan I thought I’d take a moment to answer your semi-rhetorical question. The reason there is a Hawks Convention is because one of the first things the new owner did in 2007 was hire the president and long-time marketing director of the Chicago Cubs to be president of the team. The man is a genius, consistently drawing 2+ million people a year to Wrigley Field despite some very, very bad teams. The Cubs Convention has been running for decades. So, John McDonough is the man to thank for all of this awesomeness; not just the convention, but Blackhawks TV (website videos) too. (I think you’ve blogged about Joey the Junior Reporter before.) The good news is I think most major league baseball teams have annual fan conventions now, so maybe the hockey teams will catch on too.

    • Pants Reply

      A lot of teams have a convention, or some version of a fan carnival, etc. The Captials have one. I’ve been. It’s cool… but not even a fraction of close to this cool.

  11. Veronica Reply

    I was sitting in this panel and when the girl asked them to do the dance off Tazer was like “no way” until we all started booing at him! Not taking that very well, he slammed his hand on the table and got up to do something that he calls the moonwalk. Not sure what the rest of the world would call it! This is my 3rd season and I am already planning my trip back for year 4! The BEST comment of the day however was a younger boy getting up and telling Crawford that he played his nuts off! Tazer was more embarrassed than Corey! I will have pictures to you in a few days.