Birthday Boy: John Tavares

Is everyone excited?  Training camp has begun, the season is nearly upon us and it’s time to party like John Tavares. John turns 35 today… kidding, he’s 24.  Yes, in human years.  This clearly demonstrates why the Prime Minister of Canada only has to be 18, while President of the United States must be 35. […]

Birthday Boy: Jonathan Toews

If I had Photoshop at work, I’d make a picture of Jonathan Toews wearing a pair of Olympic gold medals and a pair of bootyshorts, standing atop two Stanley Cups, a Conn Smythe trophy, the city of Chicago and your boyfriend’s hopes and dreams of ever being good enough.  Since I don’t, this ought to […]

Foxy Friday: Birthday Edition

To say that Chuck and I are busy is like saying that Tyler Seguin is attractive: both true and a laughably inadequate description of real life. Today is Tyler’s 22nd birthday.  It’s also Friday.   Despite emails arriving in my inbox so frequently that the little “ping” now sounds like a goal horn, I thought […]

Birthday Boy: John Tavares

Everyone’s favorite hot middle school science teacher and un-ironic wearer of khaki pants turns 23 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN TAVARES! from mistfarer, tagged #boyfriendfilter Yes, 23. Our love for John is not new – he was Foxy Friday back in March 2012 – but we have been a bit, er, cult-ish lately.  He had a big […]

Birthday Boy – James Neal

Happy 26th birthday, Nealmobile! When you came to the Penguins, we hardly knew you.  Since then, well, we hope you like this website dedicated mostly to your existence.   Think of it as a place to remember that getting older is a) inevitable and b) really working for you. To celebrate, we share with everyone: […]

Birthday Boy: Sidney Crosby

It’s 8.7 and that can mean only one thing… Happy birthday, Sidney Crosby! Those of us who love Crosby know there are many, many moments of this: And more than a few of this: When Sid is on the ice.  But if he wanted us to base our opinions only on this: He shouldn’t have […]

Birthday Boy: Patrice Bergeron

Happy 28th Birthday to the one…the only…the Boston legend himself, Patrice Bergeron. Even if you don’t like the Bruins , you love Patrice. Even Pants loves Patrice. I mean, just look at him. The way he plays. The way he carries himself. His face. There is a reason I call him ‘Perfect Patrice’.  

Intern Birthday!

Oops, am I late?  We’ve been celebrating Intern Jeff Skinner’s birthday.  He’s 21 today, so… we were having apple juice and cake. And we made him serve it.  This is a job, people! Jeff’s big day comes during the un-offseason.  He’s rather be in the playoffs, but how does Jeff feel about playing for Team […]

Birthday Boy: #TeamEbs

Happy 23rd birthday, Jordan Eberle! Remember when we were asking:   Then we got distracted by the playoffs?  Well, meet Kevin Wheeler.   Please, no one disillusion me by saying Canada is not a magical land full of helpful neighbors, cops who give hockey-related high speed escorts and adorklable Jordan Eberle drinking  Coca-Cola products.  I’m […]

Birthday Boy: Jonathan Toews

I’ve been collecting a folder of pics and gifs, for that day when the world just needs more Jonathan Toews.  Today is that day. Happy 25th birthday, Tazer! We all know that Jonathan hates fun. He prefers to win, and win often.  Luckily the Blackhawks are pretty good at hockey and Toews himself is alright […]

Birthday Boy: RNH

Guess who turns 20 today? Wait, who? Gabe, who has the best eyebrows in hockey? And what does he tell “visitors” who want to stay past curfew? Does that line actually work? How often does he need an excuse? Yeah, we can kinda see it. As de facto stand-in Headmistress of #TeamRNH (until we find […]

Meanwhile, in Canada…

It’s not my fault I’ve seen this commercial a hundred times.  It’s on during the break in every Canadian telecast!  Canada, I love you. Also, today is Max Talbot’s birthday.  I forget about Max for stretches of time (blinded by the orange), but he deserves some birthday attention. Why are John Tavares and Matt Duchene […]

Birthday Boy: Steven Stamkos

Steven, how are you going to spend your 23rd birthday? Staring down opponents? Scoring 60? Making sure your name is on the Rocket Richard trophy… twice? Admiring goalies even as your ruin their GAAs? Relaxing? Pants-optional shoveling? Jumping ridiculously high? Reading WUYS? Yeah, that’s the one.  Happy birthday, Stammer! The Lightning have more goals than […]

Birthday Boy: Tyler Seguin

January 31, 2013. The day we’ve all been waiting patiently for. The day we’ll all feel slightly less creepy staring at photos of men 10+ years younger than us. Today is Tyler Seguin’s birthday. And not just any birthday, but his 21st birthday. Shots of Patron for everybody! Oh lord, help us all. People of […]

Birthday Boy: Wayne Gretzky

As a hockey blog, we would be remissed if we didn’t give a big, huge birthday shout out to the one…the only…the greatest of all time (aka the GOAT)… Mr. Wayne Gretzky The Great One turns 52 years  young today!  Born January 26, 1961 in Brantford, Ontario, Gretzky is without a doubt the best player […]

Birthday Boy: Patrick Kane

Patrick Kane likes to party.  In other news, Tyler Seguin is hot.  When two things so obvious to the world collide, it can only end in Bromaggedon. First, it was just casual hanging out.  Maybe a Tuesday night happy hour, catch a movie in English with both French and German subtitles that cover half the […]

Birthday Boy: Taylor Hall

America, land of democracy.  To prove that every vote counts, not just the people running the place: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAYLOR HALL. (That sound you hear is Amanda and Jess crashing to the floor.) Since Taylor’s living and playing in the US, his 21st birthday is a big deal.   We hope he makes good decisions, […]

Birthday Boy: James Neal

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY, NEALMOBILE! It’s definitely been around here lately – we just can’t help ourselves.  Here’s James at the Altoona Curve game last week, talking labor disputes and lockouts: Warning: The video is as shaky as if I were filming this. And what James is doing with the rest of his summer: The […]

Birthday Boy: Sidney Crosby

Happy Canada Day!  Oh, wait.  Merry Christmas!  No, that’s not it either. Happy 25th birthday to the Crosbot!  Yeah, that’s the one. You either love Sidney Crosby, or you hate him.  Which is fine because I love him enough for everyone.  Sure, sometimes I want to smack him and say, “Stop being such a brat!” […]

Birthday Boy: Intern Jeff Skinner

Break out the Mexicolas and sprinkles… It’s Intern Jeff Skinner’s birthday!! Jeff turns 20 today, so he’ll be doing… exactly what he does every other day.  Drinking a gallon of milk, giving up his seat on the Metro and buying Girl Scout cookies.  Sorry Skinns, we can Party in the USA next year. Oh heck, […]