The Most Wonderful Time

- Posted in Uncategorized

The holiday season is here!  We have stuffed our faces and basked in food coma.  We’ve broken out the ski socks and mittens.  I watched 5 straight episodes of Covert Affairs before bothering to check if I could fast forward the commercials.  Now that we’re back after American Thanksgiving, everyone is ready to work:

Movember is over!  Hockey players can now walk past schools without drawing police attention.

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Don’t be shy about watching him drink that water twice.

Intern Jeff Skinner’s in the office first every day.

buddy

And when I’m not around, he gets mad and has 3-point games to beat the Caps.

John Tavares is popping his collar, proving that not even John Tavares can pull off a popped collar.  (Just when he’s getting the pants right!)

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Alex Steen is still wondering why we have no idea who Alex Steen is.  Foxy Friday, check.  2nd in goals.  Sleeve tattoo, yes.  What does a guy have to do?

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Ovi leads the league with 21 goals.  He is also featured in Maxim Russia’s December issue dressed, I think, as Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.

After watching adorable otter footage, YouTube suggested I watch 11 more cute animal videos and 1 of Eric Staal giving a tour of his house.  How does it know?

otters

Malkin is the NHL’s #1 Star of the Week AGAIN.  Geno, you’re going to become like those Bed, Bath & Beyonce 20% off coupons.  We get them so often they stop being… no they don’t.  I collect them.

geno wink

Josh Harding has 3 shutouts plus a League-leading 1.45 GAA.  Did you know he also has Multiple sclerosis?  Right, you did.  The only person who doesn’t seem to know that is Josh Harding.  This guy is incredible.  Good goaltending is how a team ranked 21 in Goals For is 9th in the overall standings.

 

Meanwhile, the Minneapolis Star Tribune struggles with “Wild” as a plural.

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The Blackhawks are the #1 team in the League.  They lost last night after winning 6 straight – a  little snag, that’s all.

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The Sharks have also won 6 in a row.  Are wins free out west?  Where do all these points come from?  It’s not as of the Western Conf. is half undefeated and the other half never win.  The Oilers aren’t even the worst (or even 2nd-worst) team in the League!

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With all the points and the Tweets, Selena Gomez please just call Logan Couture one time so he can move on.

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Mike Green scored his first of the season last night!  I missed it and the Caps lost anyway, but still.  You’ve got to start somewhere.

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Or not.

The city of New York continues to ruin our lives.  First this Jacoby Ellsbury stab, then the NYR re-sign Henrik for 7 years (avg. $8.5 m/yr), proving no one expects him to age – ever – or be beaten by the Caps in the playoffs.

Ugh, vampires.

Ugh, vampires.

Even hockey puns are making me laugh today:

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That’s how you know that everything is working – mostly.  Those things that aren’t, well, there might be just enough time left for them to get better.

Perhaps in time for a February 6 game vs Toronto? [report]

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Is he flexing his abs? That can’t be all the time.

Pucks and Pups: The Bruins Edition

- Posted in Boych Meets World, Chuck Loves, PUPPIES!

Hockey players.  Puppies.

Two of the things we love most in the world.

Put them together and let the seal-clapping and squeeeeeing commence.

The Boston Bruins released their own 2014 calendar – just in time for the holiday season, natch – and here are some of the highlights

boychuk feb 001

I have no idea what is going on with Johnny’s shirt but honestly I really don’t care.  Because his face. And the fluffy puppy face. That dog looks as happy as I would be to have Johnny’s arm wrapped around me.

brad june 001

Things I love about this photo: Brad Marchand’s Sweater.  The dog’s name.  Great name for a dog.  If I ever get a dog, I am doing to name him Han Solo.  Or Lando Calrissian.  Either one would work.

iggy august 001

Continuing with the Star Wars theme, next we have Iggy with his dog, Onja aka Yoda.  Yoda is killing it with those ears.  She might be carrying a little extra weight around the middle but let’s face it – it is friggin’ cold in Calgary.

kelly oct 001

How cute of a pair to Kelly and Mama Celeste make?  It doesn’t even matter that she is named after a microwaveable pizza! She’s adorable.  And Kelly holding on to her so gently is just precious.  Because you know at any minute she is going to jump out his arms and go skidding across the ice on those wee tiny paws of hers.

lucic may 001

I want to take Roscoe home with me right now and rename him Han Solo and love him and squeeze him and pet him.  Oh and his picture also features Milan Lucic.  Who apparently went to the James Neal School of Awkward Dog Holding.

paille sept 001

So much going on with this photo.  Despite the horribly unphotogenic background, I kind love this picture. You know how they say that dogs and their owners start to resemble each other?  Ladies and Gentleman – there is your proof right there.

seids april 001

Wiggles? Bubbles Lollipop? I can’t. Seriously, Wiggles.  He (she?) is werking it.  Smizing.  Fierce. Because I can’t for the life of me imagine Dennis “Der Hammer” Seidenberg actually naming his dogs this, so I’m going to assume that his children named them.  Or perhaps there is a softer, gentler side of Seids we don’t yet know about.

soup nov 001

That sound you hear is my roommate @sailingfoodie collapsing on the floor and dying.  She is OBSESSED with bulldogs and spends hours creating a plan on how she would get her hypothetical dog up to our 3rd floor apartment.  (We were going to rig a rope & pulley system from our living room window and pull the dog up in a bucket, in case you were wondering.)

While Zorro’s cuteness is undeniable, the real winner in this photo is Gregory Campbell.  He’s one of the foxier Bruins and after that whole playing-on-a-broken-leg thing, he’s an out-right legend.

thorts dec 001

Of course they take the photo in front of the Bunker Hill Monument.  Because if there was anyone who would be from Charlestown, it would be Shawn Thornton.  You’ve seen The Town, right?  You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have fit in perfectly as a bank-robbing extra.  Clearly, the greyhound must be his wife’s and the other is his.  Because there is no way that a guy like that has a little dog.

tuukka march 001

WEE LITTLE PUPPY!  TUUUUUUKKKKKKAAAA!  If he’d have put that hot dog dog actually in his goalie mitt, there would have been a nuclear cute-splosion and I would be writing this post from some desolate radioactive wasteland. Also, did you see the dog’s name?  Wishful thinking, little buddy, but I applaud your ambition.

zee january 001

Lola is adorable but there is just not enough juxtaposition in this photo.  Chara needs a smaller dog – like a Pomeranian.  Or a Maltese.  Can you imagine?  Just look at Chara.  He can’t even fit in the seats.  Sort of like me at a Red Sox game. #tallpeopleproblems

Not to be out done, even the Bruins management and coaching staff got in on the fun.

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Bosco looks like a dog that Neely would have.  Big. Strong. Devastatingly handsome.

Peter Chiarelli and his pugs!  Butterballers!

Sadly no Patrice Bergeron, but I’m sort of glad for that.  Because if there was a photo of Patrice, wearing a sweater, holding a puppy…I’m not sure that I could have handled it.

 

Bruins’ 2014 Calendar is $20 + S&H and can be ordered here.

Big, huge, mega thank you to @lilfish77 for scanning these! 

 

Pens & Paws

- Posted in Uncategorized

Before you look at these photos, go to the Animal Rescue League website and order a Penguins & Paws 2014 Calendar.  Support adorable, fuzzy faces of the four-legged variety!

Huge thanks to @alisonsykora‘s mom Heidi, who took pictures of every page with her phone for us.  She likes James Neal the best because she’s a momgenius.

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For safety, Sam overestimated the amount of room Sid needs to sit down.

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Chuck Kobasew, come back to the lineup!

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Matt D’Agostini’s in this year’s “Winter Look.”

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Kunis and puppies and sweaters.

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BSutts and Co. giving @alisonsykora the puppy eyes.

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The closest to Raja that Aladdin could get.

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These puppies match Geno’s outfit (and enthusiasm).

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Joe Vitale and the tiniest little friend! Eeep!

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Sassy and Neal. Yes, the dog is Sassy too.

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Crosby is superstitious of black cats, so of course Duper has one.

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Mario has one dog for each Stanley Cup.  He could handle more.

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Hug it out, Rob Scuderi.

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This is Nisky’s own dog. I’ll be over here, rolling around in my tears.

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Get well soon, Beau. You’re too ridiculous to be without.

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This scrappy little guy has Brooks’ eyes.

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Disco Dogs

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Also Flower’s own dogs.  And socks.

One last picture – a selfie:

fluffy

Buzzer Beater: Part 2

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Newsies

Last night was Bruins vs. Penguins so you knew that both of us were going to have to weigh in.

The two best teams in the East faced off last night and the over arching theme was resiliency.  After the Penguins tied it up with 0.3 seconds left to send it to OT, some teams would have been completely demoralized.

0.3 seconds?  Seriously? Guys, come on….

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….

Watching Crosby bang home the puck past Tuukka with infinitesimal time left to snatch away a point doesn’t feel good.  It feels horrible actually.  I was up, out of my seat at the Garden, shaking my fist angrily at Pants and her wine 400 miles away and feeling like this…

If I was a little girl and I had a bouquet of balloons, Sidney Crosby would be the guy with a pin standing over my shoulder waiting to pop them.  Thankfully, the Bruins channeled their feels into victory.   They were able to regroup, focus and then it was Torey Krug to the rescue.

Boom. You’re welcome.

Krug may be pocket-sized but there is NOTHING small about the way that he has been playing this season.  His beautiful OT winner (the 1st of his career) was the 7th goal of the season for the Bruins.  He is 2nd on the team in goals and 4th in overall points (15).

Mr. Krug, are you campaigning for Foxy Friday? Because you are making an excellent case for yourself.

Not to be out done, Loui Eriksson netted his 5th of the season and boy, was it splendiforous!

I don’t even care that his Movemeber mustache makes him look like a silent movie villain. Or is it more 70s porn star?  He keeps scoring goals and I’ll forgive anything.

Eriksson, Loui - movember

During the warm-ups, James Neal was trying to seduce me with his flowing locks hair and his face but I was not having it. Nope. I respect Nealer and how he plays…except when he is playing the Bruins.  Last night, Nealmobile had 2 goals, including this wikkid one that induced major face-palming, raging, and a litany of expletives.

While our loyalties (and blog) are divided, there is one thing we can agree on.

Buzzer Beater

- Posted in Pants Loves

If you’ve been reading us for a while, you know there are moments where I seem to control the universe.

The Penguins being down 2-0 is not one of them.  Certainly not to the Bruins.  Out of love for Chuck, I generally keep my Bruins opinions to myself and I’m sure she swallows some bitter Penguins (and Caps) epithets .  So the first period of last night’s game was not a time I was allowed near communication devices.

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Then James Neal scored.  Honey, I’m home!  Hi James, you’re the best.  But one was not enough.

neal1

Then he scored again and things got serious.  I was in public (mistake #1) with wine (#2) and while 0.0% of the people in my everyday life care about hockey, this does not stop me from discussing it.  At length.  Or loudly, as the situation requires.  So instead I hid repeatedly in a bathroom at a birthday party and checked my phone.

neal1

Which told me, after 59.5 minutes, that the 3-2 Bruins win was final.  Resignation set in.  Also, more wine.  The Penguins can’t actually win every game and Nealmobile can’t actually score every goal, no matter how hard I try to persuade the universe to see things my way.

Then I get home and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Crosby scored with 0.3 seconds left to tie it?!  The Pens then lost almost immediately in overtime but I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE.

sid1

It’s like the Parise ‘send this baby to OT’ Olympic goal minus the cultural significance and bursting with irony.  Or this Toews R1, Game 7 shorthanded goal, only far less important but more personally vindicating.  (Seriously that Toews goal is one of my all time favorite hockey moments.)

I could watch it all day:

 

So, the Pens lost.  The Bruins won.  I’m sure Chuck’s happiness equals my complete, overwhelming and impossible-to-explain love for a Penguins team that didn’t really play that well for a lot of this game and somehow, in the dramatic end, still made it worth every damned second.

Oh, and some seconds after the game was over:

Nealer scored two goals Saturday, LOST. Scored two goals Monday, still LOST.

But a shirtless post-game tattoo display is forever FTW.

PS: Beau Bennett, what?  Your “undisclosed” injury is wrist surgery requiring 8-10 weeks recovery?  DISLIKE.

bennett bag skate

Penguins vs. Leafs tomorrow night.  Kick ass for Thanksgiving, American team full of people from other countries.

Weekend Update

- Posted in Bromance, Newsies, Pants Loves

We have referred to ourselves as JamesNeal.com in the past, and I think we’ve done a pretty good job cheerleading our favorite gingerbeard. Now there is actually a JamesNeal18.com and honestly, it rhymes.  The whole glorious homepage is a Real Deal rhyme scheme.  I cannot compete with that.

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What James’ new official site does not have is a section dedicated just to this:

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Or this:

w8

So I still have some work to do.  The site does feature a Fan Club application that asks “Who is your favo(u)rite NHL player?”  I tried, I really tried to type “N-E-A….” but it just came out…

liar

CROSBY.  Sorry James!  Lindsay said Stamkos, he’s not even on your team!

Speaking of the Penguins captain and this weekend, Crosby scored his 250th goal right on cue to prevent the Islanders from a comeback win.  (Er, sorry Tavares.  It’s crowded in here today.)

 

The mustache is still happening.

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Don’t be afraid to look at it.

w2

But down the bench, my favorite bromance was being rekindled in a big way.

Nealmobile had 2 goals and 2 assists on the weekend, including setting up Geno on a slump-busting goal to end a 15 game dry spell (worst of his career).  That’s what friends are for.

 

Geno returned the favor Saturday night with an are-you-kidding-me up ice rush delivered right to Neal’s doorstep.

perfect

Oops, wrong graphic.

 

See Geno go into the boards and James rush to his side?  My panicked reaction exactly.  Luckily Malkin was fine, just needed a little #18 TLC on the bench.

w5

love you man

James had all the Pens goals in their game vs. Montreal on Saturday, sadly it was not enough to get the Penguins out of their own way and they lost 3-2.

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Malkin was named the NHL’s #1 star of the week, with 1 G/7 A to lead all players. The Pens won 3 of 4 games and have 30 points, putting some distance between themselves and the Caps, currently 2nd in the Metropolitan Division with 26 points.

It’s Penguins vs. Bruins tonight, and a Penguins win would tie them (in points, but not record) for first in the East.  Chuck and I will be madly texting other people and ignoring each other obviously over social media, beginning at 7 PM.

liz

See you there.

Foxy Friday: Paul Martin

- Posted in Foxy Friday

Last Friday, I struggled to choose a Foxy Friday who was healthy and playing.  One man heard my plea, and so returned to the lineup that very night.  A real American hero.

Foxy Friday: Paul Martin

pm2

Paul missed two games to injury, getting back in the lineup on 11/15 with an assist in the Pens slump-busting 4-1 win over Nashville.  But Paul wasn’t done helping me out personally after just one game.  He’s not a halfway kind of guy.

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That’s Paul with the first goal on Wednesday night vs. Washington, assuring that I would not look a total fool in front of my Capitals friends.  It nearly sent me tumbling out of the 400s in my Crosby jersey because I jumped up so fast (@raedanda may have pushed me a little).

penguin push

It’s been a good week for Paul, who reportedly will find himself on the Penguins top power play unit tonight vs. the Islanders.  It’s a big deal to replace Kris Letang, who QB’s Pittsburgh’s man-advantage and has 71 career PP points.  After a few rough years and endless trade rumors, Paul Martin is having a good year. [link]  Since Paul had been good to me this week, let’s examine a few other things he’s good at.

Looking pensive:

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Wearing glasses:

pm5

Looking pensive while wearing glasses:

pm1

Age appropriateness:

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Being American:

pm1

Being vaguely embarrassed by the style decisions of youth:

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Making sure we’re okay when our boyfriend leaves us for another team:

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Bringing us a new boyfriend for distractionary purposes:

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Spirit Day:

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Getting a tan:

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Just kidding.  How about making breakfast?

Puppy cuddles:

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People cuddles (a guess, based on this awesome #boyfriendsweater):

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Paul, what do you think?

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There you have it, a Foxy Friday to be thankful for.  We bet Paul, with his aforementioned American-ness and football skills, is probably a hit at Turkey Day too.  WUYS-tested, mother approved.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Congratulations on Your Face

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Newsies

SCENE: Thursday, 1 A.M.  Too tired to sleep and still punch drunk from watching the Penguins in person, Pants scrolls through Instagram.

CUT TO: Point of view shot of Pants’ phone.

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CUT TO: Reaction shot.  Hold for 20 minutes.

mila

END SCENE.

Sometimes, I just lose it (ex: Matt Niskanen and That is Not a Turtle) and last night this set me off.  When I finally calmed down enough to Google and read, I saw that John Tavares got an endorsement deal.

BASED ON HIS FACE.

Okay, maybe 91% based on his face, 5% being great at hockey and trying to make Canada’s Olympic Team and 4% needing to shave this off:

t2

But still.  His face.

John obviously should have endorsements based on hockey.  There’s the one with Reebok, sort of, shared with Talbot and Duchene.  Otherwise blame the combination of the Isles record, being third team in a market and hockey’s lack of overall American popularity for the reason you don’t see him in Modell’s or Under Armor or the random store by my house that has a Crosby Reezig display.

This Gillette deal?  It’s because:

t4

From Business Wire:

Gillette Canada announced today that it is joining forces with Team Canada Olympic hopeful John Tavares to help Canadians get their ‘game face’ on in support of our hockey stars as they go for gold at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games.

Tavares is the new ‘face of Gillette’ in Canada and represents how both precise preparation rituals and the right equipment are essential when putting your ‘game face’ on. The 2013 Hart Trophy Finalist knows having his game face on is absolutely crucial for success – whether on or off the ice. Tavares is a two-time gold medalist at the World Junior Championships and a hopeful to make Team Canada’s roster for the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games.

Next thing you know he’ll  be selling khakis for The Gap.  They are always trying to make khakis happen.

t5

Whoever made this, bless them.

Of course, I’m kidding.  All accolades really ride on John’s incredible talent.  A #1 draft pick who earned his Hart Trophy nom (if not the trophy itself, Ovi you jerk) last season, he continues to carry his NHL team and aims to be a big part of Canada’s push to repeat for Olympic Gold.  Can you imagine a safer spokesperson for a brand?  He’s probably thanking them by restructuring the company’s 401k program before putting up  their Christmas decorations using environmentally friendly tape while baking gluten-free cookies.

John will also be part of Proctor and Gamble’s returning “Thank You Mom” campaign.  You Canadians will get to see all of this on actual TV but for once I’m okay sticking to online.  It means I can control when the inevitable happens:

kb

John’s Gillette ad campaign will launch in December, presumably with the elimination of the Movember mustache .  Keep an eye out for his face in print, TV, online and the inside of my high school locker.

Ad Men

- Posted in Uncategorized

I hate the Rangers as much as I love a good ad campaign, and this is a good ad campaign.

 

Oh Ginger Staal.  It’s too bad you’re the only Staal I’ll never like because I would like to like you.

(Crank the volume on this one.)

“Don’t pick a chain restaurant. ”  Bahahaha.  Marc, you’re alright for a Ranger.

Here’s a longer/better version of the outtakes, where Ryan McDonagh gets direction on how to use his eyebrows.  Which are also, er… what was I saying?  I hate the Rangers?  Right.  I do.  But come on:

rangers2

How does neither of these guys have a Foxy Friday?  We have featured at least 4 Rangers (Cally, Hank, Girardi, Boyle) and only one – maybe two – of those guys is better looking than MStaal or Ryan’s eyebrows.  I’m not going to write it myself or anything insane, but even I’ll admit this makes no sense.

rangers3

Welcome to #Ryantown.

For heaven’s sake, I went to tag this post and Ryan McDonagh’s name doesn’t even pop up.  We have never once mentioned him?!

hermione

Here’s the second Rangers ad, in which I become convinced Sad Brad has a sense of humor, because he must have agreed to be picked on.

rangers

This campaign promises more ads to come. For now, some of us need to step away from the blog before we do something crazy.

The NeverEnding Story

- Posted in Like a Boss, We Love

When we don’t post for a few days, it’s safe to say we’re either a) really busy or b) laughing so hysterically over the cat face in #21 of 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers of All Time that we can’t type.  Yet through our tears, we see big events are happening.

Tonight, the man we call Squishy will play in his 1,000th NHL game.

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Yes, we said Squishy.

squishy

If you played in an NHL game every single day, it would take 2 years, 9 months and 27 days to reach 1,000.   That’s from tonight straight through until September 14, 2016.  If you played in each of 84 regular season games, it would take nearly 12 NHL seasons to hit the mark.

In Martin St. Louis’ case, it took 15 full and partial-NHL seasons.  Not even 300 players have hit the 1,000 game mark [link] and let’s be honest, many who do have left their best production days behind.

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Not Marty.  Last season, St. Louis won the Art Ross Trophy.

art ross

Look who he beat.  Look at his projected point total in a non-lockout season.  LOOK AT HIS FACE!  No wait, look at his legs.

marty ESPN

You certainly wouldn’t be the only one, according to Google.

google

I mean…

martylegs

I digress.  At 38 years old, Marty currently has 20 points in 20 games.  The Lightning lead the Eastern Conference.  It remains to be seen what happens to the Bolts sans Stamkos, but never doubt that Martin St. Louis is the backbone of that team.

To celebrate this milestone, we’ll give you just 10 of the 1000 reasons that we have loved Marty for so long.

10) He’s older than we are – and when you get to our age you need role models. Basically we’re down to Sophia Loren, Meryl Streep and Marty St. Louis.

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9) He gets better looking every year.  Please let this happen to us.

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8) He’s shorter than we are.  (Well, he’s shorter than Chuck.  He’s exactly the size and weight as me + a suitcase.)  It never, ever stood in his way.

marty chara

7) He once had a double root canal after a playoff game and was in the lineup two nights later, no problem. [link]

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6) He was probably the only person who didn’t facepalm when The Real Housewives of What is Your Demographic NHL, I Do Not Understand This Tie-In mispronounced his name at the NHL Awards.  Then he read his acceptance speech off his Blackberry.

lady byng

5) His dad-ness.  Watch this video.

marty kids

4) The advice we assume he gives Stamkos on all aspects of life.

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I’m not looking at you till you cut your hair.

3) The way he starts a party…

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… and the way it ends.

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2) This had to make the list somewhere:

 

1)  Of course the best thing about Marty is the way he plays the game.

 

Check out Squishy’s career stats and their game tonight vs. LA if you can stay up that late.  Maybe the Real Housewives will be there to celebrate another of Marty’s big achievements.

60 Minutes

- Posted in Boych Meets World, Breakin' It Down, Chuck Loves, Sweden We Love You

Last night, Bruins finally managed to put together a solid “60 minute effort”, as the kids like to say.  You know who is happy?

Granted it was against the Carolina Hurricanes, who are taking a long ride on the struggle bus, but the effort was the Bruins’ most consistent of the season and they were rewarded with a 4-1 victory on the road.  Bruins were 0-3 on the road after starting the season 4-0.

Bruins forwards were working hard, creating opportunities, and running the Canes’ defense around. Two of the four Bruins goals came from defensemen, including Johnny Boychuk’s rocket, his first goal in 3, 586 games.  Okay, so not THAT many games but it has been a while since JB55 put on past the goalie.

Especially positive was the play of Soderberg/Kelly/Smith line.   Soderberg and Smith each had a goal and an assist.  This line seems to be finding some mojo as evidence by their nifty, quick passing in the offensive zone and it looks like Soderberg’s looooong road to the NHL might have been worth the journey.

Originally drafted by the Blues in the 2004 Entry Draft, this season will be the first full season for the 28-year-old Swede.  He’s got 8 points in 14 games and did we mention that he’s Swedish?

Marchand started on the 3rd line but by late in the 2nd period was taking shifts on the 4th line. Since the summer and his break-up with Seguin, he just hasn’t been quite the player that we expected.  Perhaps he spend too much time downing pints of ice cream, while listening to Sade and looking at photos of his lost love on his iPhone.

Sad Marchand.

After the game, Bruins had to jump on a plane to NYC where they’ll take on the Rangers tonight.  If I had to wager a guess, I think that Caron will be back in the line up, along with Thornton, with Marchy taking in the game from the press box.

Wonder if the popcorn at MSG is any good….

Foxy Friday: Brandon Bollig

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Foxy Friday

By popular demand, repeated Tweets and just an overall campaign of “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!”, today’s selection is the NHL’s Most Likely to Be Suggested.

Foxy Friday: Brandon Bollig

Why does Brandon get so many nominations?  Could it be:

– The perfect beard?

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– Stylish outfits?

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– His excellent taste in music?

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– Putting a guy through the boards?

Winnipeg Jets v Chicago Blackhawks

(Side note: Chicago fans, be nice. If a guy gets wrecked into your laps, maybe don’t pour beer on his head and steal his helmet. Even if it was funny.[story])

– Requisite attractive Hawks friends?

Winnipeg Jets v Chicago Blackhawks

– Requisite spectacular Hawks bromance?

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Original photo from Chicago Red Eye, not better than this art.

These two are on another level. [evidence locker]

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– Or is this what makes WUYS readers so often cry Foxy?

Winnipeg Jets v Chicago Blackhawks

Yeah, that’s the one.

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So there you have it: Brandon Bollig.  Finally Foxy Friday.

Winnipeg Jets v Chicago Blackhawks

Contrary to our ramblings of Canadian adoration, there are bonus points here for being American.  Especially from the south because, really?  A hockey player from Missouri?  If I find out he says “y’all,” I may give him a month of Fridays.

Americans for America

Americans for America

No hard feelings toward Red Sox fans about the World Series, right Brandon? Either time?

Winnipeg Jets v Chicago Blackhawks

He’d probably just laugh and hug the Cup, leaving me to hold Chuck.  I could cheer her up with a little help from the best-in-the-business Blackhawks TV:

 

There are so many reasons Brandon Bollig deserves a Foxy Friday that we lost count at HE WAS A COOK.  As in a job, for money, not boiling water for mac & cheese. That would be his #2 talent, behind hockey, if we had any idea where to rank this:

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Yes, boating.  Sorry, what ?  You want a close up of his tattoo and to know what it means?

Now stop interrupting.

Brandon played part of the last two seasons in the AHL and part with the Blackhawks.  You know, the good part where he won a Cup.  This season he’s got 2 NHL goals and assists, for a total of 4 career NHL points to go with his 14 NHL fights.  We love 4th liners.  He offers the Hawks a physical presence and is earning more ice time (not just fight time) every game [great feature], in hopes of expanding his role.

Excuse me?  No, you cannot see him do bicep curls using a puppyweight.  This is a serious hockey conversation, people.  We don’t just find pictures of, oh.

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He does.  And we do.

Fine.  With that, Brandon Bollig joins an illustrious list of Blackhawks with his own Foxy Friday.  Life looks pretty good from the top.

NHL: Preseason-Detroit Red Wings at Chicago Blackhawks

Follow Brandon on Twitter (@Bollig87) for top comedy and on Instagram for all the pictures I couldn’t fit in this post.

PS: This might be the most fun I’ve ever had doing Foxy Friday, so love for Andrew Shaw (@shawz15er, Instagram) is also required.

Mile High Club

- Posted in Like a Boss

We hear the teams out west are pretty good this year.

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Did you make it all the way down here?  Does it make any sense the only Western Conference team we ever talk about is the Oilers?

Perhaps we are trying to make our Eastern Conference-selves feel better about topping out at #6 in the League – with a team that just lost a guy who figured in 35% of their offense last season.  (Tears for Stamkos.)  Looks like we’d better start paying more attention to after-hours hockey.

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So, what do teams that never lose do when they’re not winning?

Winning Teams – They’re Just Like Us: Colorado Avalanche Edition

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At the end of last season the Avalanche were the second worst (16-25-7, 39 points) team in the NHL.  Now things are topsy-turvy in Denver where the Avs, under new head coach Patrick Roy, are the second-best team in hockey.

We love nothing more than a dramatic makeover.

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While the Avalanche blossom thanks to strict care and grooming, they continue to be the same dorky, genuine team on the inside.

They photo bomb.

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They share shirts.

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They get hurt and make me sad. [story]

#lobster

#lobster

They take pictures of their toilet paper… wait, what?

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They have impossibly attractive Swedish friends.  Do these guys even play hockey? Nope, don’t care.  Hockey is no longer a requirement for this blog.

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They start shopping at the very top of your Christmas list.

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They have choreographed dance sequences-slash-celebrations.

Paul Stastny, Matt Duchene

Oh, and they score goals.  Fast, nifty, foxy ones.

 

There is, of course, the issue of Semyon Varlamov’s arrest on allegations of domestic violence.  He was released and the Avs put him right back to work.  While innocent until proven guilty, this isn’t really a judgement call for the Avs.  Varly is their top goalie and has played 12 of 14 games this season, the final $3 million year of his contract.  No word yet if he will be formally charged with the crime and face a trial. Until then, we are doing our best not to judge (out loud).

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Presumably with Varlamov in net, the Avs face two other top teams this week: St. Louis on Thursday and Chicago on Tuesday.  Either would be a great match-up to catch, but aim for the Blues – it starts at 8 PM.  Even I can stay up for that.

We promise to get to other Western Conference teams soon.  If you follow one and want to save me time on the Google, send any great pics, videos and Twitter chirping my way!

Think Good Thoughts

- Posted in Pants Loves

Let’s talk about something happy.  Something that isn’t what happened to Stamkos.  Something that doesn’t spur a combination of dry heaves, caterwauling and crushing bags of ketchup chips with a sledgehammer.

Penguins, to the rescue.

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Yesterday was the annual Project Bundle Up, where the Pens take kids shopping for warm winter clothes.  What could be better than boys and mittens?  Woolly hats, hot chocolate… there were probably fuzzy socks.  Go on without me.

 

A few things to make us all feel better:

– Tanner Glass.  With glasses.

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– Crosby’s mustache.

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Duper can’t even look at him.

You know he started growing it on November 1 at 12:00:01 AM… and this is what he’s got to show for 11 days of work.   Not that Sid would ever cheat, but he should really start this thing in August.

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– Kris Letang giving expert advice on hats.

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But he doesn’t know hats with flames are all the rage this season.

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– This girl, achieving life goals at the age of 11(-ish).  Here’s James introducing himself like his name is the last one she’ll ever need to know [Pens TV video].

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She  will grow up thinking all hot guys want to go shopping and watch you try on 90 versions of the same hat.  If there were an Auntie Anne’s pretzel in this equation I would faint.

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– The conversation I imagine Flower is having with this kid about whether gummy bears are better than Sour Patch Kids.  Which they clearly are.  Learn well, grasshopper.

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– Giant people helping tiny people.

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– This face:

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– This hair:

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– And the inevitable defeat of James Neal by every shirt he tries to put on.

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I feel a little better now, don’t you?

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Foxy Friday: Alexander Steen

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Like a Boss, PUPPIES!, Sweden We Love You

Who the hell is Alexander Steen?

That’s what we said.

We’re used to seeing names like Crosby, Ovechkin, and Sedin atop the NHL stats page but then we see this…

Steen stats

And we’re all…

St. Louis Blues forward Alexander Steen has been tearing…it…up this season. He’s got 14 goals & 20 points so far.  Blues are 10-2-2  in what is proving to be a very hard Central division.

Central standings

Last night, Steen reclaimed the league lead in goals with the game winner vs the Flames and was named the #1 Star.

More stars than the night sky.

No denying that scoring goals is foxy but what else is there that makes our newest honoree worthy?

Born in Winnipeg on March 1, 1984, which makes him a very WUYS-age appropriate 29 years old.  Steen was drafted 24th overall in the 2002 NHL Entry draft by the Toronto Maple Leafs and in 2008, he was traded to the Blues.

He’s Swedish AND Canadian!  A combination of two of the MOST perfect male/hockey gene pools in the whole wide world.

He has dual citizenship and has chosen to represent Sweden in international hockey competitions. ( because Canada has an embarrassment of riches and Sweden has an embarrassment of attractiveness.)

Foxy. Each and every one of them.

He’s got an excellent hockey pedigree – his father Thomas is a former Winnipeg Jets star.  Papa Steen scored 817 points in 950 NHL games and now serves as a Canadian politician.

Steen, along with his family, created the Amadeus Steen Foundation which raises funds to enhance the well-being of children in Manitoba. The foundation was created in memory of Steen’s youngest brother, Amadeus who died at the age of two months from a heart condition.

He’s a dog lover and animal rescuer. Let’s face it – Hockey Players + Puppies + Extraordinary acts of kindness are our jam.

Much like us, he appreciates the fine art & skill of a good photo bomb.

We love a man who isn’t afraid to have a little fun.

His choice of sweaters makes us so so happy. Is there anything better than a guy in a fantastic sweater? We think not.

If we were Blues fans, we’d be pretty stoked right now.  Team is playing well and if Steen keeps on burying the biscuit like he has been, the road to the Stanley Cup Playoffs could be very lovely indeed.

Follow him on twitter at @Steener20

Karma is a….

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Deep Thoughts, Hall of Shame, Whatever

You fill in the blank.

Last night, Tyler Seguin and Rich Peverley both scored in the shootout to lift the Stars over the Bruins.  Perhaps it is a little poetic justice for those two guys who had to endure the embarrassing and juvenile booing and chants each time they touched the puck.

Booing?  Really?  Why is that even necessary? I loveloveLOVE the Bruins but sometimes their fans are just exceptionally ridculous.

In case you’ve forgotten, Seguin and Peverely didn’t ASK to be traded from Boston.  Their departure from Boston was a product of salary caps and business strategies.

Now, I don’t pretend that Seguin is some perfect, sacrosanct hockey player.  He made personal and professional mistakes that didn’t help his cause and contributed to the ease of his departure, but Peverely – Really, people?  What did Rich Peverley ever do to deserve your ire?

For all those people who vilified them last night, how quickly you have forgotten these two were are part of the team that brought the Stanley Cup to Boston for the first time in almost 40 years.  How quickly you have forgotten that #19 sweater that you so eagerly purchased proudly declaring your status as a Seguinista.

Well last night’s shootout was just for you then.  You know that all your booing and chanting and general turpitude just made Seguin and Peverely even more determined to shut you up.  And they did.  So good on ya. WTG.

Now they hate us and never want to come back here and it is all your fault.

Side Note: World Series champ Mike Napoli was at the game.  His beard, people.  It is glorious. I’m in love with him it him.

Celebrity, Celebrity

- Posted in Uncategorized, We Love

 

I think I just hallucinated that Sidney Crosby said his celebrity crush is Syndey Bristow.  Did he really say he likes tall, fair girls with long brown hair who are, frankly, a LOT older than he is?

Awesome. I happen to be know one. She even has a suitcase catapult.

(Side note: I’ve worked with Jennifer Garner and she is spectacular.  All around win.)

I wish I were a celebrity so when someone asked for my celebrity crush I could say, “Sidney Crosby” and they could reply, “Who?”  You know, the guy whose crush is a 41-year old married mother of three.  Sid is like the bouncer who IDs you when you’re clearly past 21, just to make you smile.

There are other gems in this video, including Tuukka Raask wondering who makes up these questions. Lindsay and Alison shouted back, “We do, Tuukka!”

Blogging from a plane, sorry for the lack of photos!

Return of the Segs

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Chuck Loves, Hockey Movies, Trades
After his abrupt and somewhat surprising departure from Boston this summer, tonight marks Tyler Seguin’s return to Boston.  It’s been four months since the fireworks of the July 4th trade that sent Seguin to Dallas Stars.  The pain of that day still stings at times, but like any resilient New Englander, I just have to pick myself up off the floor, drink my iced coffee, and move on with my life.
I can’t lie – it hasn’t been easy.  The fangirl in me dies a little bit every time I see him in that Stars’ sweater.  It just doesn’t feel right or real to me.  Green is SO not his color.  He looks MUCH better in black and gold.
But the hockey fan/blogger in me understands full well why things happened the way that they did.  In an ideal world, every player I loved would stay with their teams forever, win multiple Stanley Cups & all the trophies, and it would be all rainbows and puppies and adorable babies.
I pride myself of understanding a lot about the sport and about how things work from a management perspective, so I try to be as objective as I can in situations like this.  I can’t take it personally.  I don’t have to like it, but I have to accept it.
Boston’s depth, while a tremendous asset, stifled Seguin.  When you’re playing behind Krecji and Bergeron, it ain’t exactly easy to distinguish yourself.  Seguin was a boy amongst men and he wasn’t doing enough to make himself irreplaceable.
In Dallas, Seguin has the opportunity to be the BMOC, and let’s face it, we all know that he’ll relish it like a hot dog.  He is playing on the top line with all-star Jamie Benn, while in Boston he was relegated to the 3rd line.
I hope that the trade served as a bit of a wake-up call for Seguin. While we can’t really blame him for the partying and the hijinks he got himself into – I mean the guy is 19 years old, rich, Stanley Cup Champ, hot like fire in a city filled with college girls – the maturity just wasn’t high on the list of priority  For a team that needs to win and win NOW, the Bruins just didn’t have time to wait for him to grow up.
Chara ain’t getting any younger and with their 2011 Stanley Cup win and their Finals appearance last year, this Bruins team needs to strike while the iron is hot.
In Seguin, they had a talented player not quite living up to his potential but with an exceptionally high value for a team looking for a young center.  What Bruins were desperately lacking was a strong winger to complement their top line centers.
Enter Dallas Stars and Loui Eriksson.  Some phone calls were made. A deal was reached and it was so long Seguin and hello Loui.
The season is still young so who knows what the ending will be to this hockey tale.  Seguin has 15 points so far with the Stars.  Eriksson has only 3.
The season is long and I’m not worried.  I think that each team is going to get exactly what they needed.

Canadians for America

- Posted in Newsies

Er, Chicagoans for Chicago?  You know what I mean.  I was going to call this post “Cup(s)” but I don’t have time for all the Pitch Perfect jokes today. (Hard pass.)

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The Blackhawks visited DC yesterday to bring the Cup to the White House a second time.  While I should have been peering through fences and avoiding snipers for a glimpse, even Intern Jeff Skinner’s dimpled smile isn’t getting me out of federal prison.

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I doubt most American Presidents give a holler about hockey – Barack hasn’t been to a Caps game and the official White House transcript of the Hawks’ last visit refers to Toews simply as “Player” –  but I appreciate their enthusiasm.  And the Hawks for bringing Obama a road jersey this year, since he already has a home sweater.

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When the Hawks were here in 2011, everyone was giddy.  There was a mini Cup.  There was the kind of Toewsface that sometimes ends up on a watch list.  It was one Sponge Bob cake shy of a kids birthday party.

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This time, the Blackhawks are grown up and sophisticated. They are men who win (often), represent their city and who bring their game faces when they come to the big stage.  Right, Captain Toews?

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Of course right.

This year, the honor of wearing a gray suit went to Kaner.  I must say it works on him; that and standing up front.  Boy, he is fun size.

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I love this White House tradition.  I have called my father out over not being President for this very reason.  He assured me that would result in the Flyers winning every year the Rangers didn’t, and I’d be running around locking doors and challenging everyone’s immigration status. Perhaps that is the true meaning of democracy – being civil for a photo with your enemy.

chasing liberty

Shhh, I’m just going to plant this evidence.

My dad also pointed out that before long, I will be old enough to run for President myself.  Frankly that is rude,but…

NEW LIFE PLAN.  Phase One: Delete this blog.  Phase Two: Stanley Cup White House Prom and Kegger, Sponsored by Reebok and Yuengling.

crosby

You are all invited – and you’ll all be called in my background check.  Consider that when answering carefully.

Foxy Friday: Sam Gagner

- Posted in Foxy Friday

I’m tempted to boycott Foxy Friday until someone produces a photo of Crosby and Sutter as Maverick and Goose.  Like a hunger strike, or a tantrum in the candy aisle at Target.

Yet I can’t do that when on of our favorite faces has returned to a) it’s former adorableness and b) the game of hockey.  So this week, it’s finally time for #TeamSam.

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Sam Gagner is 24.  He seems more like 29, according to Lindsay, probably because he is the Nanny Green Socks to all these Muppet Babies.

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(Which he likely doesn’t remember, proving he is not 29.)

Let’s start at the beginning.  Sam is from Oakville, Ontario and his dad Dave Gagner spent 15 seasons in the NHL.  Sam played junior for the London Knights on the same line at Patrick Kane.

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He is old-timey BFFs with his near neighbor, John Tavares.

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I know. Shut up, Pants.

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Gagner was drafted 6th overall in ’07.  He had 49 points in 79 games that season, alongside former Foxy Friday Andrew Cogliano and Robert Nilsson on the Oilers first installment of the Oilers’ Kid Line.  Here are Sam’s career stats, which don’t mention that he once scored 8 points in a single game.

 

Nowadays being 24 makes Sam a grizzled veteran on the Oilers.  But like all the boys in the band, he’d had a few run-ins with bad luck, sharp things and probably walls/chairs/puppies.  In 2011, a teammate’s skate severed a tendon in his hand [story].  This pre-season, Vancouver’s Zack Kassian bashed Sam’s face in with a stick, resulting in a broken jaw for Sam and an 8-game suspension for ZK.  Also a lifetime ban from Foxy Friday.

 

We hate broken jaws.  In a morbidly curious way, we appreciate a selfie of said broken jaw posted to Twitter – but will still put it behind this link because it’s horrifying.  Thanks, Sam.

Luckily, the resilience of Sam’s youth is strong.  He rejoined the Oilers lineup Tuesday after missing 13 games, having a plate and six screws put into his face and without four of his teeth [link].  That’s hockey.

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Sam went as late-2013 Crosby for Halloween will wear a big visor/jaw protector combo until at least the Olympic break.  After all this, and his first game back, Sam looks just fine to us [video].

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In fact, he still looks like:

Edmonton Oilers headshots

Except when his hair is long, and he resembles:

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Over the summer, Gagner signed a $14.4, 3-year contract extension with the Oilers.  Then he made an even longer term deal with his girlfriend and got engaged.  This wedding will melt Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram/my heart.  His fiancee is a doctor, no less – these spaztastics ought to keep her busy.

Oilers' Gagner talks with linemates after scoring his fourth goal against the Blackhawks during their NHL hockey game in Edmonton

Will Sam go for Movember under that helmet jaw guard?  We can’t say we hope so, but it doesn’t take much to win against this team.

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We could go on for days – and we will.  For now, here’s Sam on Ask an Oiler.

As for hockey, the Oilers are, well, the Oilers (read: last in the west).  So let’s hope for more of these:

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None of these:

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And maybe a few of these:

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Before summer comes around again.

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If you’re not following Sam on Twitter (@89SGagner), then how can you expect to see awkward photos of #TeamRNH and #TeamSchultz playing guitar?  Or RNH wearing pants made from the khaki equivalent of a tin foil marathon blanket for Halloween?  Really, get on this.

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Happy Friday!