If you’ve been reading us for a while, you know there are moments where I seem to control the universe.
The Penguins being down 2-0 is not one of them. Certainly not to the Bruins. Out of love for Chuck, I generally keep my Bruins opinions to myself and I’m sure she swallows some bitter Penguins (and Caps) epithets . So the first period of last night’s game was not a time I was allowed near communication devices.
Then James Neal scored. Honey, I’m home! Hi James, you’re the best. But one was not enough.
Then he scored again and things got serious. I was in public (mistake #1) with wine (#2) and while 0.0% of the people in my everyday life care about hockey, this does not stop me from discussing it. At length. Or loudly, as the situation requires. So instead I hid repeatedly in a bathroom at a birthday party and checked my phone.
Which told me, after 59.5 minutes, that the 3-2 Bruins win was final. Resignation set in. Also, more wine. The Penguins can’t actually win every game and Nealmobile can’t actually score every goal, no matter how hard I try to persuade the universe to see things my way.
Then I get home and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
.gif by glovehand.tumblr.com
Crosby scored with 0.3 seconds left to tie it?! The Pens then lost almost immediately in overtime but I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE.
It’s like the Parise ‘send this baby to OT’ Olympic goal minus the cultural significance and bursting with irony. Or this Toews R1, Game 7 shorthanded goal, only far less important but more personally vindicating. (Seriously that Toews goal is one of my all time favorite hockey moments.)
I could watch it all day:
So, the Pens lost. The Bruins won. I’m sure Chuck’s happiness equals my complete, overwhelming and impossible-to-explain love for a Penguins team that didn’t really play that well for a lot of this game and somehow, in the dramatic end, still made it worth every damned second.
Oh, and some seconds after the game was over:
Nealer scored two goals Saturday, LOST. Scored two goals Monday, still LOST.
But a shirtless post-game tattoo display is forever FTW.
PS: Beau Bennett, what? Your “undisclosed” injury is wrist surgery requiring 8-10 weeks recovery? DISLIKE.
Penguins vs. Leafs tomorrow night. Kick ass for Thanksgiving, American team full of people from other countries.
Tags: james neal, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby
Ugh Penguins-Bruins, shouldn’t skip, might be something on Nealer, scroll, scroll, scroll, ugh Crosby really needs to shave, I am not a Pens fan why am I——— OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD ::emits high pitched sound only intelligible to dogs and other small mammals:: OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD Day. Made. Thank you ladies.
All of this went down while I was driving through Pittsburgh with Mike Lange on the radio. I even had terrified passengers and I’m sure the children appreciated my colorful language. I must be broken because all it took for me to get over the loss was that smattering of chest freckles. Oh James Neal.
I’m pretty sure the Internet exploded when those pictures surfaced. I could watch that interview a kajillion times (an actual number when it comes to James Neal + tattoos) and never be satisfied. It’s like he can see into our brains – in which case, I’m equally excited and terrified.
There are not words. Trying to master this new iPhone and not drool on my phone…oh James…
And the important part? The really, truly important part in all of this, ladies? This boy is BACK! ONE HUNDRED AND FITTY PERCENT!! #HelloTeamCanada!! I hope you’re paying extra-close attention Stevie Y! Because now that Stammer #sniffle is down for the count, I know an amazing #powerforward who really oughta add the #OlympicRings to that elusive tattoo sleeve. We want to see Nealer play in Sochi, don’t we, ladies?This girl knows perfection when she sees it. #AndThatsNoBull