Tonight, yeah baby, tonight…

- Posted in We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

I don’t think other drivers on the road this morning appreciated how excited I am.  There were some strange looks while I shouted along to Ke$ha: “Go insane, go insane, throw some glitter, make it rain!”

Club Nealmobile, people.  Get used to it!

Today’s schedule is light, but lets me to get to the gym in time for one game and home in time for the other.  Thanks, NHL.

Chuck is wearing Bruins socks and I’m rocking a Pens shirt today.  Fashion show at work!  Packed my Toews tee for the gym too.  Now if only we could fast forward to 5 PM…

Because We Say So.

- Posted in I'm Always Right, Off-Season Projects, Playoffs, Randomness, Stanley Cup Finals

It’s time to predict the eventual winners for the 2011-2012 season, so we can look smart and important when spring rolls around.  Or not.  Last year we all picked some combo of the Caps, Blackhawks, Canucks and Penguins [link].  That 25% result is less than the chance that Intern Jeff Skinner’s going to take you to the prom.  So here we go again:

CHUCK:

Eastern Conference Finals: Bruins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Bruins

Western Conference Finals: Canucks vs. Kings

Western Conference Champs: Kings

Stanley Cup Champs: Bruins

We all know that repeating as champs is nigh impossible though in the NHL these days, but the Bruins only lost two players to free agency (Kaberle & Ryder) and 1 to retirement (Recchi).  The heart and soul of the Bruins are still here.  Bruins have arguably the best and deepest set of forwards in the game and can get production from all 4 lines.  Plus, let’s not forget that you have Tuukka Rask, a top-notch goalie in his own right, backing up Thomas.

Kings are my dark horse team.  After picking up Mike Richards and Simon Gagne and resigning Drew Doughty, the Kings look to be a serious contender in the Western Conference. They have good young netminder in Jonathan Quick and if Gagne and Anze Kopitar can stay healthy, they could be the team to watch.

PANTS

Eastern Conference finals: Penguins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Penguins

Western Conference finals: Canucks vs. Sharks

Western Conference Champs: Canucks

Stanley Cup Champs: Penguins

Like everyone else, I think the Capitals will be a force to reckon with this season.  It’s (mostly) selfish hope that they will carry it all the way into the playoffs, so I can have the longest hockey season ever.  But I think the Pens will be strong early with Malkin and Staal in, and maybe James Neal will get his scoring touch back.  The Return of Crosby will be like Willy Wonka somersaulting down the orange carpet to greet his lucky minions at the gate.  Chocolate Stanley Cups for everyone!

Much like the Caps, I think the Sharks are long overdue for a dominating post-season performance.  They’ve won their division the last four years in a row and made it to the Conference finals the last two years.  Ultimately I don’t see them beating Vancouver, but I think they can do better than last May’s 4-1 failfest.

So, let’s hear it – who are your picks to have a great 2011-2012?  Feel free to shamelessly back your favorite teams – we obviously have.  Don’t hate us because they’re awesome.

 

This Isn't Where I Parked My Car

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Ryan Kesler in ESPN Magazine’s annual “The Body” issue.

You know the part in National Treasure when they light the little pool of oil and it spreads 10,000 feet of fire and illuminates a gazillion dollars in gold and stuff?  That’s what happened to the internet when this picture was posted.  You’re gonna have to wait a bit for the wallpaper-size version.

This Time of Year

- Posted in We Love

The moment you’ve all been waiting for has almost arrived.

It's so close I can taste it!

The NHL 2011-2012 season kick off tomorrow, and it’s about damned time.  We’re are packed and ready to go:

Pants survived a pre-season crisis at the Capitals/Blackhawks game when she felt compelled to cheer for the Caps.  Over the Hawks.  Tazer/Kaner vs. Nicky/Mikey?  This is like Sophie’s Choice.  We predict only more Twilight-style fangirl pain for her this year.

"But she said she would be here." "Well I don't see her either!"

Chuck changed her middle name to ‘DefendingStanleyCupChamps,’  then went back and had it misspelled so Marchand would not feel so alone.  (If we had to see fifty photos of the mistake, they could have at least made it on Seguin’s stomach.)  She also changed her ringtone to “Welcome to Boston, Loozah!”

Spelled right, but could be lower.

Dawn made return address labels featuring a picture of Kris Letang from the ASG.  Really, we just got one in the mail.

Pour moi?

Gator bought out all the Captain American Dunkin’ Donuts and finally gave into the iCarly charisma.  Goldfish crackers and Slurpees for everyone at their wedding.

Addressing invitations for the Big Day.

How are you guys feeling after a long, hot summer?  Any admission/confessions you’d like to get out now before the season starts?  So we can rag on you later?

Put a Ring on it.

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Like a Boss, Stanley Cup Finals

A Stanley Cup ring, that is.

Courtesy of the Boston Bruins

Giving new definition to the term "ice"

Check that out! 

That ring = boss.

300 diamonds total.  66 on the ring crest with the iconic spoked “B” over the image of the Stanley Cup.  6 diamonds around the logo signifying the Bruins’ six Cup championships.  One side has the player’s name and number, other side has the Cup with the years the B’s have won it – 2011, 1972, 1970, 1941, 1939, and 1929.

Not only can it be worn as a ring, it can also be used as a paperweight, a meat tenderizer, and help you to signal rescue planes should you ever become lost in the Canadian wilderness.

It’s shiny.

And there are 505 of these pretty baubles to go around.

Players got their rings last night at the Boston Harbor Hotel.  Even players no longer with the team, like Mark Recchi and Michael Ryder, came in for the event.  Ryder had to get special permission from his new team, the Dallas Stars, to come.  Sadly, Marc Savard was not able to join the team, as he is still recovering from concussion.

But you know who was there…WUYS fave Tyler Seguin.  Looking very dapper in a pink shirt, btdubs.

Wonder if his mom picked that out for him?

image courtesy of @TheBruinsBlog

Motoscooter & Teen Wolf go to prom!

Looch and the Professor show of their bling.

Ice, Ice Baby.

Gentleman, go ahead and “frost yourself”.  

Don't Let the Door Hit You…

- Posted in Epic Fail, Hall of Shame, Trades, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Sean Avery has been placed on waivers by the Rangers.  It’s like the episode of 24 where Kim Bauer went hiking in Los Angeles, got cornered by a cougar and had to be rescued by a hillbilly in a bunker.  If she were real, she’d still be dating this jackass.

Read all about it on Puck Daddy.

Will someone pick him up?  According to the NY Post it would cost a team $1 million to have Avery for the year.  His salary is $4 million: the Rangers would pay $1 mill and the Dallas Stars are still paying $2 mill.  That’s right, two teams would pay a combined 75% of Avery’s salary to NOT have him on their rosters.  Ask The Situation how it felt when Abercrombie offered to pay him not to wear their clothes.

Avery’s effectiveness as an annoying bastard is undeniable – he rattles other teams – but he draws tons of penalties in the process.  To the equation, teams must add the likelihood Sean will do something off the ice that speaks louder than anything he does on it.  I just don’t see the point of Sean Avery.  I think any number of guys can do what he does (we’ve got “your mama” jokes galore) with a lot less headache.

This is real. I didn't Photoshop in these glasses.

So with two teams already putting their money where Avery’s mouth is… what happens now?

Mikey Monday: I Got Goals

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Mike had a goal and an assist in last night’s Caps vs. Blackhawks game, just to make sure I had something to cheer about.

Awwwww....

Mike talked afterward about30-35 min/game being too much at the pace of today’s NHL – he’s had issues with mental and physical fatigue because of total TOI.  It’ll be interesting to see if they can even it out more this season, when guys like Chara and Letang seem to always be on the ice for their teams. [link]

... shucks.

He doesn’t get too excited about his goal, but we know he’s scooting inside.  And he wants to maximize the Backstrom-Ovi-Semin hug at the end (of course).  [video link]  Green’s got a 1G, 1 A in each of his last two games.

Mike was 2nd Star of the game… this picture.  And the reverse image on the bottom part of the board.  It’s from last season, but unless you’re bringing back The People’s Eyebrow, please stop trying to look so tough.  This is good enough for me:

Bonus: Neuvy eyebrow.

Preseason is great, but having no Toews, Keith, Seabrook, etc and no Patrick Sharp as he heals up is kinda sad for Hawks fans watching the game.  And when they go against the entire Caps A-list roster… well, you lose 4-1.  Just saying.

The lovely Ms. Carter joined us for the festivities.  Highlight of the night may be when her phone auto-corrected “Pants” into “Pantsunami.”    Is that a real thing?  Because I might have to make it a real thing.

How Did We Miss This? "Breakaway" – New Hockey Movie!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hockey Movies

We didn’t even get advanced notice and it opened in Canada this week already! It stars Rob Lowe and hottie Camilla Belle! Along with Indian comedian Russell Peters. The previews look hilarious with the usual culture clash of Indian kids who love hockey but aren’t allowed to indulge because it’s not ‘cool’.

So if any of our Canadian friends went and saw it this weekend, let us know!

Anything you can do, I can do better.

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, Like a Boss, Off-Season Projects

Move over Kris Letang!

Rick’s got his own workout video AND his own home gym in which to do it.

Four words.

Rick. Nash. Workout. Video.

*dies*

Why I am I just finding this now??

He really is trying to keel me.

This man can wear a backwards baseball cap like a boss.

 

Teen Wolf becomes…Derek Zoolander?

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, Like a Boss, Randomness

Oh Tyler Seguin.

Please stop making us fall in love with you.

Watch this video from Tyler’s day at the B’s Annual Photo/Video Shoot.  Trust me it is worth it.

Especially when he asks the photog to facebook the photos to his mom.  And then when he claims to look all “innocent” is said photographs.

Oh honey.  You ain’t fooling no one.

We know that after last season and your shenanigans with Brad Marchand, you are the furthest thing from innocent.

Do you smell what the Seggy is cookin'?

But we’re totally cool with that.  Really.  We are.

Like a boss.

Making This Look Easy

- Posted in Newsies, We Love

Someone had a big night last night.

Not just goals, but beauties!  And a little hows-your-mother with his old pee-wee teammate PK Subban there at the end.  Don’t get between Stamkos and the net, kindergarten.  Meanwhile, in the Squats Department:

Does that say what I think it says – he can squat 450 lbs?  Like in case he ever needs to lift a car off Gator after she runs into traffic trying to hug him?  Jeeeeez.

I was thinking of new nicknames for people while brushing my teeth(really) and I just want to call Stammer “Miami Vice.”  Yes it’s the wrong part of Florida but the hair is so 80s.  And Steven wasn’t even around then.  He could borrow Ryan Gosling’s satin jacket from Drive and it would be aces.

Breaking New$ For Number $, I mean #8

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Newsies

LA Kings just ended the stalemate with hottie Mc Hottieton Drew Doughty – $ years, I mean 8 years for $56 million donuts, I mean dollars.

That means Drew can buy 56,565,656 diet cokes at $.99 each. Or 32,000,000 cupcakes at $1.75 each. Or 12,444,4444 4×4 at IN N OUT at $4.50 each.

Now that I’ve done my higher math for the evening, that should keep DDTBG not only closer to God, but the fast food peeps rolling in dough, pardon the pun, for at least $, I mean 8 more years.

Drew baby, you are totes PWNING DA NOOBS tonight!

Drew Doughty got $ AND Hops!

Just Jokes!

- Posted in Dammit Geno

Oh Geno, freaking everyone out and sending the Pens PR staff into a tizzy…

Is it October yet?!

- Posted in Bromance, Hot Like Fire, Newsies

In another edition of players we can only like until the season starts… Ryan Kesler will appear nude in ESPN Magazine’s “The Body” issue.

More than 20 athletes will do the soap opera strategically-cover-your-business to pose for the annual issue – here’s the list [link].

Kes wanted to get a jump on the competition, so he posed with a fan.  This is like Chuck Norris selling the BowFlex – what a crock.  Some people are just born this way.  Kes spends more time on that hair than these abs and you, normal man in glasses, can only hope to warm your flab in the glow of his superhuman abilities.

Not that Kes does’t pay the price:

Whoever lived in my apartment before us still gets ESPN Magazine, and to that stranger I say thanks.  You could have cleaned behind the fridge before you left but I will accept this subscription instead.

Your Dreams, Come True

- Posted in Bromance, Newsies, Pants Loves

It’s like Christmas, when you wake up to presents and the high likelihood of someone getting drunk and being publicly inappropriate!

Patrick Kane is on Twitter: @88PKane

#smilepeoplewonderwhatyoureupto

We believe that Kaner has grown up (not too much!) and probably won’t suffer from what I like to call “Don’t Drink and Hockey.”  Symptoms include having to TweetWipe your entire profile the morning after, losing the shirt you’re sure you wore into the bar and maybe even getting blocked my someone.  Someone important.

Not that I’ve done that or anything.

Supreme fangirl party time would reign if Kane just Tweeted about Toews all the time:

OMG Jon is so grumpy when he wakes up. #captainPMS

Taaazzer locked me out cuz is past 9 going to sleep in this plant night guyz. #afterthepartyitsthehotellobby

PKane will also try his luck centering the Blackhawks second line, as opposed to winging for Jonathan Toews.  The coaching staff have been considering it for some time [link].  Kaner played at centerlast night in the Hawks 4-3 win over Detroit (sorry Gator).  He had a goal and an assist – but Toews also had a point on both plays, so I assume Kane was on the wing for those shifts.  My cable is out, so correct me if I’m wrong!

We’ll let you know how it looks on Sunday when the Hawks play the Caps!

Caption This: Road Trip

- Posted in We Love

Last night, we picked up Chuck at the airport and made the trip to Montreal for today’s Lightning vs. Canadiens game  (Note: We didn’t.  Do you think they’d actually let us into Canada?) . We drove all night (it’s not that far), had poutine for breakfast (win) and lined up hours early for the Bolts practice (worth it).  Afterwards, we waited outside for Steven (we would.)  The Lightning Tweeted this picture of (not) us (do we look old enough to drive?) in our moment of glory.

When the moment came, how do you think we did?

Remember, we’re talking about this:

And possibly the most factual Tumblr post of all time:

One More for the Road

- Posted in Newsies

I’m just going to get this out of the way now.  We miss you, MAX TALBOT and wish you lots of happiness, pool boy commercials and mustaches.  (Well, Dawn doesn’t.)

But starting in 7 days, we’re going to have to kick your ass.

On the bright side, it seems Max is being embraced by the Flyers players and fans.  This guy could make friends with Voldemort.  And he’ll be scene-stealing again on 24/7, fershure.

So one last time: Godspeed, Max.  Thanks for making it so much fun.

 

Hawks – Class of 2011

- Posted in We're Mental

Welcome to the 2011-2012 Chicago Blackhawks season.  Also known as Patrick Kane’s 10th birthday party.

Patrick is *really* excited because him mom got him a new Huffy bike and the double chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake that all the cool kids had last year.  Duncan is psyched because he stole that kid’s cake and just ate the last piece he had in the shoebox under his bed.  Now he’s coming for this cake.

Sharp is mentally calculating the value of the presents vs. the cost of the party and creating a Profits & Loss sheet.  He’ll then determine the compounding interest forecast for investing in Patrick’s 11th birthday party.  Economic indicators are not good.

Jonathan is figuring out how to get each of Patrick’s sisters alone in the treehouse and which one is mostly likely to believe he’s a doctor.
He’d better hurry, because Brent is planning to set that treehouse on fire.

Tweet of the Day: I'm Score!

- Posted in Dammit Geno, Newsies

I downloaded the NHL Player Tracker app [link] for my Blackberry, so these guys can keep me amused at all times.  Does anyone know of teams with apps?  I could only find the Blackhawks because they were in the Top 50.

 

Mikey Monday: Share the Love

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Mikey Monday, Newsies, Pants Loves

The Capitals Convention was Saturday – Gator and I are now we’re double-extra-super excited for hockey season.  Oh, and this. No big deal.

That's me and Nicky B. Happy Pants.

The day started with Gator and Slapshot fist-pumping around 11 AM (it’s never too early).  As you can see we are already holding beers.

Liz got to see a real live Red Wing and I spent the entire panel on Rules & Enforcement thinking how great “Shannon Shanahan” sounds.  Actually I thought it was really interesting, especially Bill McCreary.

Then we scored good seats for the HBO 24/7 Behind the Scenes panel, which may have been a bad thing.  The minute Ovi came on stage, Gator and I had the same reaction:  “Aw crap. He’s kind of hot.” (Insert Dawn’s evil laugh.)

I immediately drained my beer.  The discussion began by playing the last 5 minutes of the last episode.  Everyone booed Crosby and I tried not to cry.  Or look at Ovi’s legs.  You know the part of “The Holiday” where Kate Winslet puts her head in the oven, then runs to the window and says “Low point!” over and over?  That was me.

The panel was dead boring – even Mike Vogel couldn’t save it.  One of the HBO guys needed to get the hook.  Boudreau looked off toward the smell of chicken tenders while  Ovi gave us the evil eye for whispering in the audience.

Luckily it was Highlight of the Day time next.  John Carlson & Karl Alzner in the Kids Press Conference – you’d die from the adorableness.  They cracked everyone up as little kids asked things like “What’s your favorite animal and why?”  Carly loves monkeys and he’s not embarrassed.  Birthday parties at Rainforest Cafe.

Nicky B was supposed to be on this panel, but his chair sat empty.  We never would have survived anyway.  Carly and Alzner are the Capitals Comedy Duo.

While they were ragging each other, I felt a disturbance in The Force.  Mike had arrived.  We weren’t in the right autograph group which was sad, because honestly MG52 looked pretty miserable.  Maybe we could have cheered him up.

Homework sucks. I hate fourth grade.

He did perk up by the end, especially as we watched @cheskiDC get to meet him.  Jealous!  We watched Brooks play ball hockey with the kids, then caught Nicky doing a Comcast interview.  And I got my picture.  People, I’m 5’9″ – Nicky is a big guy.  And has great skin (is it weird to notice that?).  Next year we’re buying photo tickets because we want to give him a hug.

Mikey, Joel Ward and Jason Chimera did a panel with Elliott from DC101 called Giving Back about charity work.  @DLF1021 and Pam win WUYS BFF awards for saving us seats in the 2nd row!

Mike fidgeted for 45 minutes straight.  Seriously.  He had his Winnie the Pooh face on whenever someone else was talking and couldn’t sit still.  Gator kept a lot of sarcastic comments to herself (except about his tight jeans), but let slide a gem as Mike was playing with the collar of his t-shirt:

“His Ed Hardy shirt is itching.”

I assumed the crash position with my head between my knees so no one could see how hard I was laughing.  The 7-year old behind us – playing Nintendo DS complete with headphones – took this opportunity to yell “school bus” or “potato” or something.  Everyone looked.  I nearly lost it.

By the end of the day, we were spent.  Next year we’ll arrive later and probably buy photo tickets.  Then after-party with these guys at Medieval Times.  You’re invited.

It was nice to meet @chelskiDC (sorry we missed you @MercurialWinger!), @DLF1021 and Pam.  And to see @raedanda with her awesome goalie photo!  See you guys again soon. 😉 All the rest of the pictures are here!