Happy Canada Day!  Oh, wait.  Merry Christmas!  No, that’s not it either.

Happy 25th birthday to the Crosbot!  Yeah, that’s the one.

You either love Sidney Crosby, or you hate him.  Which is fine because I love him enough for everyone.  Sure, sometimes I want to smack him and say, “Stop being such a brat!”  But most of the time he’s a superstar talent with the superhuman ability to never say anything meaningful to the press.  Even when (I dream) he desperately wants to tell the world to F OFF.

And when he does… well, you think I love him now.

Truth in art, by itsstaalgood.tumblr.com

Some of you know that I met my husband because a) I was drunkinking in a bar, b) it was the ’08 playoffs and c) he kinda looks like Sid (more so back then).  I said, “I’m going to talk to that guy, he looks like Sidney Crosby.”  Et voila.

Sidebar: Mr. Pants does not find this as funny as I do.

Absolutely, 100% real-life me if this ever happened.  Complete with glasses.

I could go on all day, but I’ve been going on for 2+ years with this blog and I think you get the picture.  I’m not normal (see: traitorous love for the Washington Capitals) so I don’t have normal people problems.

What I do have is one of these:

And I’ve worn it to hockey games in these places:

And every time I do I feel like:

Because people are saying, “What IS that hideous thing she’s wearing?” and I’m all, “Shut up, bitches, I’m going to prom.”

So if you’ve ever used an 8 or a 7, or used them together, rejoice today in knowing that someone born on this day, who wears this number, will be making this much money per year for the next twelve years.  That’s over a decade for Reebok to find one male fitness commercial model who’s half as… Crosby as Sid.  (Good luck.)  And maybe a pair of sunglasses for the guy.

Tags: Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby