The Kids Would Be Proud

Once upon a time there was an All-Star Weekend that reminded me how much I love hockey.  Well, that happens every year. But this weekend, like so much of this season, I didn’t actually get to watch anything. GAH! What follows is the best I was able to mash up from Twitter and my imagination… […]

Some-Star Weekend

Hello?   HI GUYS! Remember me? I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet and go over half a season of hockey that I’ve mostly missed. How does this happen? My life is like space in Interstellar, where time barely passes, while hockey and this blog remain on Earth, getting 80 years older […]

#BeardWatch2016 Begins

In September at our college reunion, I confessed to Chuck that I am secretly so tired of writing about beards. I can’t be funny anymore, I am no longer inspired, I’ve seen everything and…   I LIED. BEARDS ALWAYS. Did anyone know about this? I’m glad you didn’t warn me. #TeamEbs turning up in November looking like […]

Foxy Friday: You Tell Us

Happy National Hairstyle Appreciation Day! Okay, it was yesterday. How this is 1) a holiday or 2) occurs without our say-so is a mystery, but it’s never too late to join in the, er, appreciating. Especially on a Friday. I’ve very scientifically chosen the photos below.  Browse them – and we mean Take. Your. Time. (For example, […]

What Goes Around

The best revenge after being dumped is to become more attractive. Exponentially, impossibly, space-and-time-threateningly more attractive. Like James Neal at the 4 minute mark of this post-game coverage. The second best part, right after his face, is how much James hates doing this interview. He doesn’t get sassy, drones through cliches like I nap through […]

Beneath the Ice

You could do worse than to launch your new season and new show with James Neal’s face. The Preds’ “Beneath the Ice” series debuted the other night with 6-plus minutes of what James is good at off the ice.   1. Sitting like a boy. (Remember when John Tavares was the only one with media training, […]

To the fella over there…

Attention everyone: James Neal cut his hair. In fact, James Neal cut his hair a week ago and I didn’t even notice.  How does this happen? Am I so fickle when someone departs my team? I basically wrote, “Friends forever!” in his yearbook back in June, then went to college and forgot about him. A few […]

More Ice Time

For all the athletes participating, it’s no surprise the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was covered on American SportsCenter this weekend.  What’s surprising is they included the Crosby video – almost the entire thing – even before they showed LeBron or Justin Timberlake!  Finally, it’s The World According to Pants. So naturally, it was time James Neal […]

Before Today

Before anything major can happen today (we should have about 10 minutes, or unit Jason Spezza is official), let’s talk about what has already happened to our lives. I  was out Friday night/most of Saturday with no phone.  I apologize to those who texted and Tweeted , only to assume I’d retreated with a gallon of ice […]

Bring on the Beards!

Happy Day Before #&$% Gets Real, Everyone!   Every April, we wonder how we got here – if we got here – and panic. Prayers are said.  Shirts and jerseys are lined up to wear.  Post-traumatic stress resurfaces from last season.   And with all that comes something else, something glorious. No, not the possibility of winning […]

Hope on the Rocks

The playoffs give me angst.  For the duration of the Penguins’ chances I will feel sick to my stomach nearly all the time.  A portion of that is desire to win, and a large chunk has been devoted over the last few years to hoping this isn’t the moment James Neal does something stupid. I’m […]

The Pittsburgh Ten

In Disney World commercials, a kid walks into the theme park where Mickey, Donald and all the characters are lined up waiting to greet her. You know, the kind of magical thing that never happens when you actually go there.  Unless you went with us this weekend to Pittsburgh. Lindsay, Alison, Emma and I arrived from […]

Think, think, think.

Today, I’m calling on all of you to focus. Does this help? No? How about… That ought to do it.  Now, bring the power of your mind to bear on the universe and let’s see if we can’t get James Neal and Chris Kunitz back in the Pittsburgh lineup tonight. For the record, I don’t […]

Hey, Big Spender.

If we had to brainstorm events we’d pay good money for, Sidney Crosby delivering dessert and wine would be up there on the list. The Penguins’ annual Skates & Plates event was held last night, where the players wait tables, raise funds for charity and try not to spill food on people.  (I’d take care […]

Start Stressing

The Olympics really disrupted my sense of hockey-time, and I suddenly find important things are right around the corner: The Penguins are in DC on Monday. The trade deadline is tomorrow at 3 PM Eastern. There are less than six weeks left in the regular season. Luckily I’m good at To Do Lists.  They calm […]

Spring Breakers

Welcome back, NHL hockey. Before I watch my first evening game in weeks tonight, the Olympic break needs a nod to non-Olympians.  Not everyone went to Sochi – or stayed home watching ice dancing. Without posting the entire Tumblr tag (Honestly, where do people find this stuff?), it’s safe to say you wish you went […]

Put Me In, Coach

If I were the Penguins coach (or a mom, high school principal, etc.), I imagine there would be a lot of exchanges like this one from the new episode of In the Room [video]: James Neal being a shit. Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud. Kunitz’s face. Followed immediately […]

Good Sports

We know it’s not possible to be great at everything, and there are certainly times when you don’t want to show off.  Like Crosby rolling a gutter ball at the annual Pens & Pins charity event – that’s socially appropriate struggling.  He’s being a good sport. Then watch James Neal have a go at the […]

The Island of Misfit Boys

Here you are in your Team Whatever jersey, wearing patriotic mittens, when you find out one (or more) of your favorite NHL players didn’t make their respective Olympic team.  Don’t worry, you’re not alone. For two solid weeks in February, you’re invited to our party. Okay, it’s probably going to look more like this: But […]

Candid Canada

I hope you made a New Year’s resolution to watch more hockey, if that’s possible.  Not in my house. While the US announced their Olympic roster after the Winter Classic, Canada found another way to fill their hockey quota. Video: CBC – Defending Gold: Inside the Making of Canada’s Team It’s thirty minutes inside the minds […]