Hey, Big Spender.

If we had to brainstorm events we’d pay good money for, Sidney Crosby delivering dessert and wine would be up there on the list.


The Penguins’ annual Skates & Plates event was held last night, where the players wait tables, raise funds for charity and try not to spill food on people.  (I’d take care of that myself in this company.)


On the Pens team, you can have one of two haircuts.  The Flow, which Orpik and Vitale are growing into behind the fearless, forever lead of Letang:



Or the Practical Dad, worn best while standing together in family portraits.

pens 5

BSutts parts to the left, like he’s cooler.



Here’s proof on an actual dad:


(see also: Tanner Glass)

And on a future hot dad:


Dammit, Sid.  I’m not complaining, but we were really into this Clark Kent thing you had going there for a minute:


Was it too much work?  Bangs under a helmet not that comfortable?  I know, look at Letang all the time and get itchy for a hair tie.

Glaringly Panic-Inducingly Potentially-Catastrophically Noticeably missing from this event was James Neal’s hair, and the rest of him.


Immediate reaction, in order, from Lindsay, me and Alison:


I’m Hodgins. What? He’s rich, okay?

Nealmobile skipped yesterday’s practice on a “maintenance day.”  So did Kunitz, but that Monchichi was delivering dessert at Skates & Plates.  Even Duper was there.  Bylsma said the status of Neal & Kunitz would be re-evaluated today, prior to the Pens home & home vs. Philly this weekend.

A note to James Neal: Lindsay, Alison and I will be at the game in Pittsburgh in 8 days, 2 hours and 46 minutes.  So you have that long to:

  • get healthy
  • grow out your beard

You got all that?


There is video and a full story, complete with Crosby making the day of some little girl and Borts’s strategy  for the most tips (Dear Alison, send money).  There’s also a rather abbreviated photo gallery.  Start saving for next year.

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  1. Someone walked into my office and asked me a question as I was reading this. Specifically, when I got to the part of Sid in a tux with cheekbones and children. And I lost all ability for brain function.

    James, take this as your warning: You’ve got ONE WEEK. I’m not coming over three thousand kilometres to miss seeing that face/beard/hair ALL OF YOU, mmmmkay?


      No one is allowed to get hurt between now and then. Only healing. I’m looking at you, James and Beau.

  2. Kate Reply

    Apparently, Sutter was the hero last night–he introduced Sid to the little girl, who has cystic fibrosis and was the key note speaker.

    My hope is that James picked up a one day stomach flu bug and is now totally fine thanks in part to the saltines, soup and ginger ale that Paulie dropped off on his way home from Skates and Plates.

  3. Mandi Reply

    So You will be at the game against Tampa? I am taking my niece for her 4th birthday present(all the way from NJ) and her FIRST game. She has been begging me to take her for 2 years, and has been watching the Pens since she was 6 months old.
    Hopefully Neal will be healthy and ready to go! (first time commenting, been reading for a long while)
    If you see an adorable little girl in a Crosby sweater and a crown, tell her happy birthday.