Put Me In, Coach

If I were the Penguins coach (or a mom, high school principal, etc.), I imagine there would be a lot of exchanges like this one from the new episode of In the Room [video]:

James Neal being a shit.


Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud.


Kunitz’s face.


Followed immediately by James trying not to laugh.


Jackass.  You can’t distract me with your shorts!  Do not make me regret this.

In my world, no one would ever say that leggings are not pants.  (Oh, those aren’t leggings?)


Tight hiphuggers, low fo’ sho.

Everyone would pack a healthy brown bag lunch.


There’s moisturizer in there too.

Nisky would get more camera time.


People would wear proper cold weather gear because they are Canadian and also duh.


We’d always look our best.


Glasses and plaid paints all the time.


You are not fooling anyone with this coy stuff, James Neal.

Everyone would have excellent posture and sit up straight.


They would never make fun of each other.


Or call people names.


Right, Kris?


Everyone would be happy to see us.


And we’d all sleep well at night.


Of course I’d have the whole thing filmed for TV too.   Marketing and management?  I’d hire me.

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  1. Steph Reply

    I agree with Nisky needing more camera time. I don’t think he gets far enough credit. Not only was he a great father to the baby penguins when the top D men were out but he continues to score them goals, not to mention, he’s very, VERY handsome! 😀

  2. Also….Zach Sill? That was like a punch to the gut – the chirping, the tattoos, those baby blues?? I don’t trust myself to watch this episode more than one (hundred) times for fear of what it might do to my real life.

    • Alison Reply

      Sill chirping. Bortuzzo singing. Joey V providing insightful commentary.

      PensTV giving us everything we never knew we so desperately wanted.

      • Katie K Reply

        Joey V is the MVP of these, in terms of soundbites. I feel like the crew thinks “Okay, let’s get Joey V to explain all of this.”

  3. Katie K Reply

    I love that Sid still isn’t good at whatever video game they all play. Talbot saying “Sid’s the worst” and the ensuing aftermath was one of my favorite parts of 24/7 HBO Caps vs Pens (I can still hear Liev Schreiber “spirited virtual battles.”) I don’t like that they’re all making fun of him but I suspect his teammates must delight in the fact that he’s not good at EVERYTHING.

    This was my favorite episode of In the Room–so many hilarious, adorable, dorky moments.

  4. Torie Reply

    I’m not usually a Crosby girl. But daaaaaamn.

  5. So much to love in this episode…Sid dressed in black on skates, the Western Canada trip, the video game trash talk…O my.

  6. My absolute favorite part of that locker room scene was Duper in the background saying, “Yeah, don’t f— this up for us!” A little Tough Love goes a long way.

    Nisky is probably my favorite D-man these days! Steph’s right – he did a tremendous job mentoring the Baby Pens & while he’s got that soft-spoken, boy-next-door sweetness going on (See: Penguins & Paws Calendar, month of May!), you know he can also throw down when he has to(See: 2013 Playoffs tilt w/Kyle Okposo)!

    I. Was. Dying when they were chirping Sid on the plane for his lack of gamer skills! I tweeted about it and made sure to note that we had Nealer in glasses for more than two seconds! I was thinking of you, Pants!! 🙂

    Ditto Katie K – favorite episode of In The Room yet!!! Adorkable x infinity!

  7. Oh, how I laughed when Duper told Neal to stay away from his wife while James was wearing a faux mistletoe made of balloons (made by a balloon animal creator). Wise man, Pascal!