Foxy Friday: Matt Duchene

If you haven’t realized it yet, Pants and I are sort of nerds (in a sexy, classy way of course).  So it it is only natural that we have a soft spot for nerdy guys.

They are the ying to our yang.  The milk to our cereal.  The chips to our salsa.

Now, when they happen to be  nerdy hockey players…well, that’s even better!  Our hearts just explode with rainbows and glitter.

Take this week’s Foxy Friday, for example.

Matt Duchene

"Who are you wearing?" "Uh, not sure. My mom bought this for me."

Is there anyone more adorkable? Seriously.

I mean look at him. He’s got to be one the nerdiest in the NHL.

But you know what?  It makes him all the more foxier.

So let’s break it down.  Why is Matt “Pass the Dutchy” Duchene deserving of such a prestigious honor like Foxy Friday?

He’s got the serious hockey flow. We all love the flow… when done correctly. (We’re looking at you, Steven Stamkos.)

Dutchy gives you WINGS!

He is a fan of nerdy things – just like us.  Soulmate.

He’s got the sweet dance moves.

He love vodka.  So do we, Matt.  So. Do. We.

He loves country music.  Which automatically makes Pants love him more.

Honestly, how can you not love a man who can go from this…

We love a man that can rock a jort.

to this…

Hai sexy girlfriend.

It’s called versatility, people.

He’s self-deprecating and goofy and he gives off the vibe that he doesn’t take himself so seriously.  Which I’m sure most of us can attest to, is a very foxy quality in a man – hockey player or otherwise.

Obviously, we can’t forget Matt’s hockey skills, which is a large part of the reason why he is this week’s honoree.

He’s only got 25 points this season (12 G/13 A) but he did just returned to the lineup on Feb. 18th after missing 20 games with a knee injury.

But when you score flithy goals like this AND play on a line with Gabe Landeskog and Ryan O’Reilly (aka the Ultrasound Line), we don’t think it will take very long for Dutchy to remedy that situation.

Follow Matt on the twitter – @Matt9Duchene

Edge of Glory

It’s about that time – 20-24 games left to play and the pressure is on.  Sure the Rangers lead the East by 7 points and have won 7 of 10 games this month.  Detroit’s inevitable juggernaut hasn’t lost at home since the Clinton Administration.  But if Chicago’s 9 game slide and subsequent 4-game wining streak prove anything, it’s that you’re definitely sure you’re not sure.

Here’s a look at teams on the brink of post-season dreams:

Eastern Conference

The gap between 7th and 8th places is widening at Ottawa puts on the moves with 4 wins in a row.  It could be a 4, 5 or even 8-way death match for the final playoff spot.

Toronto – The Leafs put together a nice 5-0-1 run, then promptly dropped 6 of their last 7 (1 in OT).  Kessel’s still hot and Lupul’s having a great season (career-high 39A + within 5 of his goal-high mark).  They’re currently 8th, which is how many years it’s been since Toronto made the playoffs.  They need to rebound like J Lo. with a jailbait boyfriend, and quick – their last 18 games are against Conference foes.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Winnipeg – In the last 4 games they’ve scored 17 goals.  That’s as many as in the 10 games prior.  Not bad considering their leading scorer, Evander Kane (definitely a Ravenclaw) has just 23 goals.  Can their goals-per-game possibly stay so high?  Their geographically means 5 out-of-conference games left, costing them time while other teams play 4-point games.  Opportunities for points vs. the East will quickly become necessities.

Goals and goals and goals.

Washington – For the love of Haagen-Dazs, what is going on?  They haven’t just lost 3 straight.  That implies they tried, which is not true of Monday’s Carolina game.  Troy Brouwer called it an “embarrassing effort” [link].  Last night’s 5-2 loss to Ottawa was marginally salvaged by Semin and Green, plus Perreault’s face.  It literally scored when no one else could.  But… drum roll please… the Caps are only 2 points out of a) a messy tie for first in the Southeast and/or b) a messy tie for 8th in the East.  So it’s not over until they let it be over by playing this badly ever again.

Vokoun's been pulled in 2 consecutive games - look at Karl Alzner's face. We know.

Tampa Bay – Not sure here.  The Bolts have won their last 3, each by 1 goal.  Stamkos is a machine (42G, 28A).  But Yzerman’s has been standing at the trade table yelling “Hit me!” – Kubina for draft picks, Downie for Quincey then Quincey for a 1st Round pick [link].  What about this season?  With Lecavalier out indefinitely (broken right hand) – well, we’d never count Steven & Squishy out when it comes to a fight.  If they get hot at the right time… Pens and Caps fans shudder at the memory of being steamrolled in last year’s early rounds.

Count? Not out.

Buffalo – The law of averages says that average play will not win playoff berths.  The Sabres 5-of-10 performance in Feb (inc. 2 SO losses) has only kept them on the radar while other teams fall apart.  Pominville’s been as strong as in any of his last 4 years, but Thomas Vanek’s totals career totals are all over the place [link].  He’ll struggle to match any highs since his rookie season, and beyond those two the goal production drops like a rock.  I don’t like their chances unless other, deeper teams continue to under-perform.

This little Sabres fan believes.

Down, but not out: NY Islanders,  Montreal, Carolina – Just 1 or 2 points behind Buffalo, any of these teams could throw a wrench into a struggling team’s plan.  The Isles and Habs will have to pull it together – they’ve each lost 6 of 11.  The Canes could finally be gelling after a rough season – they’ve won 7 of 12 and EStaal has 10 points in 5 games.  Too late?  Maybe not – teams are flailing and there’s blood in the water.

Captain Waited Too Long?

What do you think?  Who makes the stretch count and who falls apart?  Tomorrow, a Western Conference rundown.

Mikey Monday: HE PLAYED

Be still the honking of scooter horns everywhere.  Mike Green played Saturday night against Tampa Bay.  The Caps lost 2-1 but everything was Mike Green and nothing hurt.

The Caps dressed 8 defensemen and Mike had 14 min of ice time, and wants more according to NHL.com today:

“Fourteen minutes felt like four minutes for me,” he said. “I told (coach Dale Hunter) I want to play more, that I feel good, so we’ll see.” [link]

Tonight, they’re in Carolina and may go with 7 d-men if Hunter feels Green is ready to step up.  Here’s the post-game video of Mike demonstrating that his hair is in fact hedgehog-grade quality [link].

 

30 is the new…

If I have to be up early on a Sunday, let there be good news every time.

James Neal scored his 30th goal of the season yesterday in Pittsburgh’s win over Philly.  This morning, the Penguins announced they’ve signed Neal to a six-year contract extension [link].  Six more years?! Excuse me while I…

The deal is worth $5 million/year (average) and will keep James in Pittsburgh through 2017-2018.  By then, you’ll be able to be a flying Nealmobile that runs on rainbows and wrist shots. HONK!

Okay, shameless Sunday morning celebration:

No, really…

One more?

You guys, come on.

Congratulations James!  It’s well-deserved and if his performance continues at this rate, he’s an absolute steal at $5 mill/year.  Capgeek.com has already factored in Nealmobile’s new salary and you can look at how it effects the Penguins salary cap for next season [link]. (Wait, Paul Martin makes $5 mill/year? Woah.)

I Love Twitter – Episode 74

I actually said, “Baby Jesus in the manger.” when I saw this.

For the record, Gator is fine. She saw this last night and didn’t even mention it.  In fact, no one mentioned it. I thought we were friends, you guys!!!

And Karl too, of course.  These two are so freaking precious.

Here’s Zac’s story [link, video] and how you can support his fight against cancer.

Foxy Friday: Jordan Eberle

Jordan Eberle really wants to be our intern.  He applies twice a week – and those are just the resumes we see.  Imagine how many Intern Jeff Skinner has intercepted!

As “Job Experience,” Jordan humbly mentioned that he’s s a spectacular hockey player.  He has 25 G/30 A this season, another in the Oilers rebuilding campaign.  Edmonton is last in the Northwest Division (50 points), but since it’s Canada they still sell a lot of tickets (19th in overall attendance this season), and even more Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins jerseys.

He even sits like Mike Green.

He also had “Awards and Recognition” – Jordan’s first-ever NHL goal, scored in his debut game last season, was voted NHL Goal of the Year (on Facebook) and TSN’s Play of the Year.

So really, Ebs is perfect for us.  Under “Qualifications,” he listed being 21 (because we have standards), 5′ 11″ and Canadian with excellent eyebrows and that gap-toothed smile.

He even attached photos of some amazing derp faces.  The rest of the time he’s…

Jordan provided only one reference, his epic bromance with Taylor Hall.  Epic as in ice cream dates [video] and living together.  Hallsy lets Ebs wears sweatpants and not even make his bed for a TV shoot.  They’re like baby Nicky/Mike or Toews/Kane.  He’s already a WUYS workaholic.

In the “Related Skills” portion, Ebs said he didn’t have a Valentine this year [video], but if he did he might take her for fondue.  If that’s not an attempt to charm us… how about puppies?

We did a background check and came up with a trove of hilarity.  I could post it all, but  Americans can spend their 3-day weekend Googling Eberle videos.

 

Hahaha, this one’s my favorite. Does he appear to be running in jeans?

Oh hey, speaking of jeans… he borrowed these from Crosby.

Included with his resume were a #14 jersey for the 2012 All-Star Game and an offer to pick us up for work in his truck.  Are those perks? Do we have to report them on our taxes?

No stops at Stamkos' house.

Chuck and I are having a staff meeting today to decide.  We obviously have to offer Eberle some kind of job – he’s not going away anytime soon.

Follow Jordan on Twitter – @ebs_14.

Intern Jeff Skinner gets graphic.

Because Pants asked for it….

Original artwork by Chuck

You likes?

I loves.

I took some creative liberties but I really hope that Intern Jeff Skinner love it too.

 

It's T-Shirt Time!

I wish I had more free time, so I could make up stuff like this.

The Staal’s different haircuts… genius!  You can see/buy them all here: Skreened.com/refusehockey.

Can I request a special edition that says INTERN over a brown-haired picture with a 53 on the back?

You jump, I jump. Right?

The Detroit Red Wings set the NHL consecutive home game win record last night with 21 straight, edging out two teams (1929-30 Bruins and1975-76 Fyers) to claim the crown.  Detroit also holds the record for consecutive road wins (12) [link].  Well la dee freakin’ dah.

The Wings have only 3 home losses this season, the last one on November 3. They’re #1 overall with 80 points, just a step ahead of the NYR (79).  And makes Gator feel like…

I think I see an octopus!

Then there’s the Chicago Blackhawks 9-game winless streak (8 regulation losses, 1 OT loss).  The extended road trip has earned 1 point in 7 games, all losses against Western Conference teams.  They’ve been outscored 38-17 and still have to visit NYR and Columbus.

Currently 6th in the West, this isn’t the end of the Blackhawks world. Because the ship can’t sink, right?  The Central Divison is by far the strongest in the West (damn you, Detroit!) and hey, 65 points would put you first in the Southeast (yes Caps, I’m talking to you).  But there’s a skid and then there’s…

Women and Joey the Junior Reporter into the lifeboats!

It’s too depressing to listen to them talk.  The only things that could possibly make us feel even a little better are Viktor Stalberg’s eyelashes.

Does he have to always look like he just woke up?  Ridiculous interview video link.  And another ridiculous video:

(Pants Note: We had a Titanic 3D event last night.  Forgive us.)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!  If you haven’t been enjoying the #NHLValentines suggestions on Twitter, we suggest you get cracking.  And if you don’t have plans for this evening, we’re offering a WUYS crash course in landing the perfect Valentine for 2012:

1) Find a wingman.

2) Find a cute guy.

3) Ask him out.

4) No, you actually have to talk to him.

5) Give him your number. He’ll call.

6) Mention that you’re hungry.

7) Make sure he picks someplace nice so you can dress up.

8) He’ll bring you flowers.

9) And maybe a shiny present.

10) Have fun.

12) Go dancing.

13) And for a drink afterward.

14) Maybe a little cuddling.

15) Okay, get the full hug.

16) Then go home.

17) Yes, home. No sleepovers.

18) Remember, what you really want is the ring.

19) And maybe someday, the kids.

20) If you’re in the market for someone to make it all happen, we’re auctioning off our date for this evening (includes proper footwear).

Love and free hugs!!

Mikey Monday: Casino Royale

Caps Care Casino Night was Friday, and Mike was there.  We were not.  Damn.

Lots of great photos at www.districtsportspage.com.

During the auction part of the evening, guests could bid on various high-risk scenarios with their favorite hockey players.  Like a Segway Tour with Ovi, Brooks, Knuble and Sasha Fierce, or bowling with Carlzner, Ward and Hendricks.  There is a bowling alley *right* next to Gator’s house and I’d bet money that’s the location.  Time for a new job, I think.

Sorry DSP, but no one else has photos. No one who would could afford the $250 ticket!

Mike was part of a Cooking with the Caps package, including Vokoun and Hamrlik plus a celeb chef.  I’d just like to point out that Mr. Pants is a chef, and one Food Network competition away from being a celebrity (for the record, he would kick ass).  Maybe next year I can win/rig this category?

The highlight of the night was, of course, this:

Squeal. Faint. Repeat.

More goodness at DistrictSportsPage.com and RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com.  Mike’s rehab is still “on schedule” though no return date has been projected [link]

Peer pressure, I'm so weak!

Deb asked us this:

And while the answer is technically no (do-overs don’t count, all girls agree), I think it’s okay if Claude Giroux intrudes on someone else’s day of the week.  Who’s with me?  (Admit it, the dark side has more power!)  Now quick, before Chuck changes the password and I lose posting privileges…

STOP! Stop it!  Okay, don’t.

The other guy is Martin St. Pierre, signed by Columbus and playing for the AHL Springfield Falcons.  They’re hometown pals.  Girls, pack your bags.

Sunshine, t-shirt weather… ugh.  Hockey is the only good thing about winter.

Jeeeeeeeeez. Subjects notwithstanding, these photos are gorgeous.  The website is a little NSFW because of some swimsuit and art photos, and I didn’t see these photos there.  WUYS blessings upon whoever found them, and thanks to Deb!

Fired Up

Well the Blackhawks cannot win a road game and somebody’s feeling feisty.

Joey’s jealous because Chuck never made him a Foxy Friday.  Jon was rubbing it in, so Ryane Clowe came over to represent.

Tazer has two career fights, and he lost them both.  He’s a beast but I’m going to say that fighting Jumbo Joe (24 NHL fights, we’re he’s old) or Ryan(e) (50 NHL fights, including 12 last year) would not be a good idea.  Stitches in your lip are sexy once, Frankentoews.  But feel free to get angry because the Hawks have lost four in a row and still have five games left on this trip.

Foxy Friday: Henrik Lundqvist

It’s official.

We’ve done lost our minds.

Commit us to the looney bin.  Get us some stylish straight jackets and lock us in that padded room with Justin Timberlake and his weird blond curly ‘fro.

Why you ask?

Well, first of all, three of the last six Foxy Friday have been New York Rangers.  Three!

What is wrong with us? We’re not supposed to like the Rangers. But we just can’t help ourselves.  There is a disproportional amount of foxy on that team.

Secondly, and the most eggregious violation of them all is out of those three, NONE of those have been Henrik Lundqvist.

5-minute major to us. We go to the box. We feel shame.

We’re sorry, Henrik.  Really, we are.  We still love you.  Can you forgive us?  Remember that time that I made you smile?  You know the one….

Oh, all right. I guess so.

Seriously, we’re super sorry.  Just chalk it up to us talking about you all the time anyway that I just assumed that we’d already honored you and your glorious face/hair/smile/dimples/talent/suits.

So make it up hunka hunka burnin’ Hank and show him how much we care, I’m going to make this an extra special Foxy Friday.

We all know the reasons that HL30 is foxy – awesome hockey player, pretty good guitar player, Swedish, lover of lingonberriers, etc etc – but seriously…just look at him.

Go ahead.

We’ll wait….

Doesn’t he just make you feel so fluffy and happy?

*sigh*

Look at him. How is that even fair?

Real men wear purple.

Swedish James Bond

His other job - wearing a suit. Like a boss.

I'm totally moving to Sweden.

And to sum it all up…

Yes.

Happy Foxy Friday everyone!  

Or as they say in Sweden – Lycklig Foxy Fredag!

Okay. I forgive you.

Well, it's not good news…

The always-excellent JaspersRink.com today has a translated Swedish interview with Nicky – read it here.

He hopes to be ready for the playoffs.  That’s two months away.  I know he hasn’t skated in forever, isn’t attending home games and even Mike went on vacation without him, but seeing it in print is really bumming me out.

Last night I saw someone Tweeted at Rene Bourque and briefly wondered how much I could say before it’s considered a threat actionable in court.  How many 140-character messages would it take?  GRRRRRRR.

At least it’s an update.  Get better, Nicky.  We really miss you around here!

Free parking at our office!

I like to think that if your car breaks down in Canada, you take it to a place like this.  Stamkos, Eberle, Phaneuf and Spezza in the new commercial Nike “Clutch” truck commercial.

Oh, Eberle.  Checking himself out in the hubcap.

 

Five Things: Love Today

In honor of making it halfway through this week, here are five things that I love about today.

1. James Neal’s career-high 28th goal, and there are still 28 games left to play.  (Bonus: Awkwardly close-up post-game interview video.)

2. Steven Stamkos has scored against every NHL team [video].  And he got a League-leading 35th goal on his birthday, even if the Bolts lost.

3. Letang jumped PK Subban in defense of Geno during last night’s extra-frames shootout loss.  The video’s bad, but skip to the 1:00 mark for the tackle.

4. The Caps are #1 in the Southeast Division.  Gator and I had an excellent time watching the beat Florida 4-0.

 

5. I’d love it if the Blackhawks could win a road game, especially since they’re on a 9-game trip.  Since that hasn’t happened, any suggestions for something you love about today?

Birthday Boy: Steven Stamkos

I think it’s safe to say you all know how I feel about Steven Stamkos.  I don’t run away from just anyone in the street!  Well today is Stammer’s 22nd birthday… as if I needed an excuse to gush.

He’s handsome.

He’s charming.

And he has excellent friends.

But I digress.  Steven also has the most NHL goals ever by the age of 23 – 153 total, including 34 to lead the League this season.  Add that to 136 assists for a total of 289 points in 3.5 regular seasons.  And he’s the hero of my all-time favorite BAMF moment ever.

I know a lot of you are off Steven because of the hair.  It’s pretty awful, but I am not deterred.  And you could always focus on something else… like goals.

Right.  Goals in short sleeves.

Okay, okay.  The Lightning made a hot run through Feb/March last season, right over the Pens and Caps in the playoffs.  This year they have struggled.  They’re currently 10 points out of a playoff spot in the East, though fewer than 10 would put them into first in the Southeast and an automatic berth.  No one’s out yet.  Of their remaining 31 games, 26 are against Eastern Conference teams.

So happy birthday, Steven Stamkos.  We’re pulling for you (and carrying scissors in our purse.)  Follow Steven at @RealStamkos91 and read his ASG blog [link].  It’s no secret that good grammar and punctuation make us swoon.  (Pssst, Steven!  We take guest bloggers!)

For those of you keeping score at home, last year’s post – Birthday Boy 2011: Steven Stamkos.

Hot Wheels

On Thursday night, Gator and I went to the Washington Auto Show to meet John Carlson and Brooks Laich.  It was more than a little disorganized, but we sweet-talked the right people and ended up getting to hang around their interview filming and then cut the whole line.  Unintentionally awesome!

My vacation tan > John's vacation tan

Be jealous.  They were super sweet.  And if iCarly looked more like a Ken doll in real life I think Gator would have hurdled the table.  He is ADORABLE.  Even all caps is not enough to accurately describe him.  Brooks’ eyes are even bluer in real life – not possible, but true.  Makes a girl wish she’d get a flat tire in the rain.

Karl Alzner came with John, because they can’t be apart.  We didn’t get to see him but here’s Exhibit A: “Caps Roomates: Karlzner” video [link].

Then yesterday happened.  Brooks left the game in a bad way with 8 minutes to go in the 2nd period of the 4-1 loss to Boston.  The team hasn’t not commented on his apparent left knee injury because no one can handle anymore bad news around here.  He didn’t practice this morning [link].

The Caps play Florida tomorrow night, and a win would make them #1 in the Southeast.  And it would make us really happy.  So we’re going to be optimistic and Rock the Red and hope there’s anyone left on the ice to Unleash the Fury.

BONUS: If you’re in Chicago (or want to road trip with us), the Chicago Auto Show has Seabrook, Kane, Toews and Stalberg.  Holy Moly. [link]

Mikey Monday: Spotted

It’s a sad time when “Mike Green watching practice from the bench” makes everyone so happy.  But at least he’s somewhere!  After skating a few days last week and addressing the media, Mike hasn’t skated in three days [link].  According to Twitter (that font of accurate information), Coach Hunter says he’s doing off-ice work and this isn’t a setback in his recovery.  They’re still looking at 4-6 weeks from his surgery, which is 1-3 weeks from now.  Let’s hope there’s still something left of the Caps season for Mike to come back.

(I’m not giving this the “Pants Loves” because I am still not into the sleeve.  I know you all disagree.  Plus, imagine how much this hurt? *shiver*)