Foxy Friday: Gregory Campbell – The Sequel

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Like a Boss, Newsies, Playoffs

Normally we don’t tend to feature the same player twice in our Foxy Friday feature, but after what Gregory Campbell did on Wednesday night, how could we not?

from bosstownsports.tumblr.com

In case you’ve been living under a rock since Wednesday, just take a moment to review what transpired to bring about this Foxy Friday Sequel.

We wouldn’t know it officially until yesterday but Campbell broke his leg on that shot…and kept playing.

from fictionmist.tumblr.com

We all know that hockey players are notorious for being one of the toughest, if not THE toughest athletes on the planet.  (Rugby players are right up there especially that guy that lost a testicle during a game and kept playing. Talk about cojones.)

But what Campbell did on Wednesday was incredible.  To have the presence of mind to get back up and keep playing when you are in obvious intense physical pain is just remarkable.

Some might call it stupid or reckless.

We just call it foxy.

Cue bad-ass strut walk music. 

He could have easily collapse to the ice and waited for a whistle.

But he didn’t.

He put his team before himself, got back up, and finished his shift.

If you watch Bruins hockey with any regularity, you are quite familiar with Campbell and how he plays.  It’s smart, aggressive, and unselfish.  If he gets a goal occasionally, that’s cool.  But it seems for him, it is more about doing what is best for his team and his teammates without regard for personal gain.

He’ll scrap. He’ll muck and he’ll grind. And apparently he’ll even play on a broken leg if that is what it takes.

With one act of incredible courage and self-sacrifice, Gregory Campbell has become a Boston sports legend.  

Parents will tell their kids about what he did.  They’ll use it as a metaphor about how to never give up, even when it hurts, because there are people counting on you.

We’ll use it as a reminder of what it means to be part of a team, to be part of something bigger than yourself.  That no one person is more important than another and the only way to win is if you work together.

Much like Nathan Horton was in the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals, Campbell will serve as inspiration, motivation, and as an emotional linchpin for this team.

Right now, everyone on that Bruins team has a singular collective focus – to win the Stanley Cup and to win it for Gregory Campbell.

P.S. Get well soon, Soupy!

BeardWatch 2013: The Best of What’s Still Around

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Playoffs, Puck Daddy, We Love

We’re getting close to the end, and the biggest, baddest beards of this year’s playoffs are vying for their chance to reach the ultimate goal: full growth.

In this week’s BeardWatch, we give praise to the best of what’s still around in the Conference Championships, your current frontrunners for 2013 Playoff Beard of the Year, Jaromir Jagr, Pascal Dupuis, Johnny Oduya,  and Dustin Penner.

#BeardWatch2013

Read the rest [here].

A Flair for the Dramatic

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Deep Thoughts, Like a Boss, Newsies, Playoffs, We Believe

Patrice Bergeron certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t he?

First, his game tying and then game winning OT goal verses Toronto in Round 1 and now this.

 

While credit goes to Bergeron for scoring the goal, mad props go to Jaromir Jagr for making it all possible.  His play on Evgeni Malkin along the boards makes that goal possible.

Forget the fact that Jagr is practically pre-historic in hockey years – he is still got it. Oh and Brad Marchand’s pass wasn’t so bad either.

Gregory Campbell is wicked hahd corah.  He blocked a Malkin shot and remained on the ice as the Penguins continued to pressure on the power play.

We all know Campbell is one bad mamma jamma, but this was just amazing.

 

At first I was all “Why is he limping to the side like his leg was broken? This ain’t no time for the Humpty Dance!”

Well, turns out the Campbell’s leg was, in fact, broken.  Just to reiterate – Campbell played that whole time WITH A BROKEN LEG! I will cut anyone who says that hockey players aren’t the toughest athletes out there.

Campbell is done for the remainder of the playoffs and the Bruins will miss his physicality and depth. However, I have a feeling that his steely determination and self-sacrifice will serve to be an inspiration for his teammates as they prepare for Game 4 and the potential sweep.

David Krejci’s campaign for the Conn Smythe continues.  He is out there shaking hands and kissing babies…and getting all the points. He scored his 9th goal of the playoff and remains as the league’s #1 point-getter this post season with 21 points.

 

Penguins did play their best game of the series last night…but the Bruins were just a little bit better.

Vokoun recovered well from his first two performances and was excellent in net…but Tuukaa was better.

 

Although the series is now at 3-0 Bruins, this series, and the playoffs in general, have been anything but easy for the Bruins. Just look at Bergeron’s face.

His bruised and battered visage is a testament to how hard the Bruins have been working, not only in this series but the entire playoffs.

After their Game 7 victory over the Leafs, the Bs seemed to have flipped a switch and reverted to the way they played in their 2011 run to the Stanley Cup.  They are mucking and grinding and playing with a grit and grime that has been their calling card. It might not always be pretty and the goals might not make it to the Top 10 on NHL Network, but they are getting it done when it counts the most.  They are a team that has committed themselves to leave it all out there on the ice, each and every time.

Game 4 is Friday in Boston and the Bruins will have the chance to close out the series with a sweep of the Pens.  If you had told me at the beginning of the playoffs that this is where we’d be right now, I would have called you crazy.

Say what now?

We both would have. The Pens regular season domination was enough to make anyone believe that their road to the Stanley Cup Finals was all but assured.

But the NHL Playoffs are a fickle thing.  They can dismantle contenders with incredible ease.  Or make champions out of underdogs.

Well, shit.

- Posted in Uncategorized

Battle of the Blog: Game Three

For me, last night was:

Sidney Crosby

Oh sorry, wrong photo.

glee2

Double OT loss.  Hell of a game to put the Penguins down 3-0 in the series.

You saw it though, right?  The moment?  Crosby with no helmet, sweaty curls and bangs whipping, busted jaw set in sheer determination, battling around the net with the puck on his stick in double overtime and you thought:

“I’m in a movie.  I’m in a gut-wrenching, war-whooping sports comeback movie written and directed by Pants.”

game3 1

That’s what I was thinking.  If it had worked… well, I would be watching the replay instead of writing this.

game3 2

In case you’re wondering what has happened to Chuck – I haven’t done anything to her!  She Tweeted yesterday that she wants to write about the Bruins, but is trying to be nice.  She doesn’t want to make Pens fans feel worse.

If we were speaking, I would tell her: you can’t.

Game 1 was worse.  Pens fans all looked from the TV to each other and we said, “Who the hell were those guys? Obviously that will never happen again.”

olive gif

Game 2 was worse.  By the end, we were in a disaster movie, waving our arms for desperate rescue from certain annihilation by a force we could neither see nor comprehend.  We knew only that we had unleashed it on ourselves.

dawn dead

Game 3 was worse.  And better.  And every emotion in between.  At the end I was face down on my living room floor.  I assume most Pens fans were in a similar state of mute rictus, enacted by their nervous systems to lockdown the body and prevent the destruction of property and self.  Mr. Pants eyed me from a distance with genuine concern.

floor Dramatic reenactment.

That was (for the most part) my team last night.  Hello boys.  Far from perfect, it was at least an 87% improvement on everything.  But even when you play your heart out, you don’t always win.  Game 3 was the very reason that Games 1 and 2 cannot be allowed to happen – you can’t play like last night and still be so close to sunk.  It’s not fair.  It’s not how my movie is supposed to go.

disco

While I appreciate Chuck’s kindness, I have watched (lived? endured?) every moment of this series in real time.  Nothing anyone says can make it worse.  Her hockey team is playing marvelous hockey and her hockey blog says nothing about it?  That is crazy, and no favor to anyone.  She should be enjoying this here as much as I’m sure she’s enjoying it at home.  I’m not asking to have it rubbed in, but the score is the score.

Give us a little credit, Chuck – we’re hockey fans.  We’re tougher than that. Rejoice in your team.  The Bruins fans around here would love to read it and, honestly, Pens fans won’t read it anyway.

You know why?

I still think we can win.

mad men

Crazy, yes, but I’ve seen historic comebacks.  Chuck has too.  Winning a series after trailing 3-0 has only happened 4 times in major pro sports history – and three of those times were in the Stanley Cup Playoffs (including 2010 Flyers over Bruins).  The only non-hockey occurrence?  2004 Red Sox over Yankees.  Chuck and I made that one happen with our Jedi mind power.

cros

I can’t give up now.  After last night, I actually believe!  Before I was just saying it!  If the Pens can improve that drastically between Games 2 and 3, imagine how good they could be Friday.  That’s all I really ask – one (or 2 or 3 or 4) more games that we can be proud of.  Take all the overtimes you need.  I can handle it.

And if you can’t come back to win this, Penguins, at least go down swinging.

bruins pens

So come on, Friday.  We might finally have an A game to bring you.

A Hockey Haiku

- Posted in Playoffs
A Metaphor for the Playoffs
by Duncan Keith
 
Stick to pretty face
In another life stay friend
Call when it’s summer
 
 

The Kings rebounded to beat the Hawks last night.  Just sayin’.

carts

Keep On Movin’

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Battle of the Blog: Game Two

The Penguins had a game last night.  Sort of.

star trek

I won’t talk about what went wrong because:

  • a) I would be here all day. (The defense!)
  • b) Everyone has already said it. (The passing!)
  • c) I refuse to put more bad mojo into the universe about the Penguins right now. (The horror!)

sid1Get up.  Now.

I won’t talk about what went right for the Bruins either (everything, not that they need it) – that is Chuck’s fun to be had.

last night

My only highlight was Mr. Pants’ nomination for Husband of the Year.  If your significant other isn’t a big hockey fan, this is the most you can hope for in life:

  • He took me to the bar before the game.
  • He came home after the Bruins’ first goal and launched into an hour-long comedy routine, complete with “Yo Mama” jokes.  There was even an intermission dance routine reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite.
  • When the game got out of reach in the 2nd, he sat down at the computer, put on his headphones and didn’t make a sound for two solid hours.

True love.

channing

I will remain positive in this series.  It’s not easy, but someone has to do it.  We have faltered before, and battled back, and everyone remembers what happens when we don’t.  I trust in this team even when they don’t seem to trust themselves or each other.  I will channel my anger and frustration into the biggest effing rainbow you’ve ever seen if it’ll shine over the Pens practice and make something go right.

Right?

Anyone?

pens school

PS: Is there some atomic-level connection between the Blackhawks and the Penguins?  The Hawks kill it in R1, Pens struggle.  Pens are strong in R2, Hawks flail.  Now the Hawks are up 2-0 while the Pens are down by the same….

You Oughta Know

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Battle of the Blog: Game One

Since Chuck and I are not talking, I have no idea if she’s planning to write this same post today.  You guys can tell me later.

bruins

So, Saturday night was exciting, yes?  Too exciting.  Run-and-gun hockey is fun to watch only if:

  • the puck goes in the net.
  • it’s some other team I don’t care about.

Otherwise it’s so exhausting that I need Gatorade and a sports bra just to spectate.

penguin

The Pens and Bruins couldn’t keep that pace up either, but they wanted to make sure we weren’t bored.  Or should I say “board?”  I don’t usually criticize officials because in real-time, those calls are hard to make.  It’s like yelling, “I DON’T LIKE THAT!” after someone obviously did something wrong.  But assigning punishment for those penalties needs to be consistent.  If you did the crime, you do the time.  Or not.

Matt Cooke boarded Adam McQuiad, got a major and a  game misconduct (not suspended for tonight).

 

Brad Marchand boarded James Neal, got a minor and a high five.

 

The difference is what?  I don’t even care that McQuaid sees Cooke coming, while Neal doesn’t see Marchand, which technically make’s Marchand’s hit worse.  Both hits were ugly and both should have been penalized equally.

Also I should stay off Twitter to prevent future ragestrokes about “Matt Cooke is so dirty” comments from people who say nothing at all about Marchand doing the exact same thing.  I won’t defend Cooke’s hit – it was bad and I’m sick of him doing stupid things.  We all know his history, especially when it comes to the Bruins.  But call for one crucifixion and you better call for them all or your argument is invalid.

amy p

The Penguins apparently felt the same way, except they’re on the ice where they need to continue playing, not in my living room throwing couch cushions and pizza.  So Malkin fought Bergeron, Crosby shoved Rask and then got into the best shouting match ever with Zdeno Chara.  I tend to laugh when I’m nervous, so imagine what I sounded like watching this go down.

 

“Dear Sid,” she thought, her panicky giggle sounding a lot like his own high-pitched laugh. “I appreciate what that you’re not afraid of the Charasaurus and you’re going to stick up for your team, but please be cool.  Also, don’t die.  Malkin just left and we kinda need you.”

crosby 0% brains, sometimes.

The Penguins did what they do best in times of adversity – get all ruffled and spaz out.  You (should) know better, guys!  It’s the perfect game plan and well done, Bruins.

Pittsburgh needs to get their emotions under control, almost as much as their setup in the defensive zone.  Stop doing this:

doug

Because:

doug4

Then we can go back to:

doug3

Okay?  Good plan.  See you tonight.

Foxy Friday: Brent Seabrook

- Posted in Foxy Friday

By popular demand, this week’s Foxy Friday is Wednesday’s playoff hero:

Brent Seabrook

seabs5

Brent Seabrook, bastion of blueline presence for the Chicago Blackhawks, had some unprecedented struggles at the start of the Hawks’ Western Conference semifinal vs. Detroit.  He was not the only one.  But when Seabs could hardly be there for himself, when he was getting a paltry12 minutes of ice time and Chicago’s future was rim, he was still looking out for his teammates.

seabs1

In the end, Brent scored the Game 7 OT winner that made a lot of us do this:

seabrook

When he’s not stopping heartbeats and playoff skids, Seabs is involved in more bromances than even we can handle.  Obviously Duncan Keith is his OTP and the feeling is mutual.  Brent’s younger brother is named Keith, so there is a Keith Seabrook in this world. If that wasn’t meant to be, I don’t understand life.

 

When Coach Q broke up their on-ice LTR, things got bad.  You won’t see that mistake again.

seabs3

But don’t forget Toews, who sometimes looks at Seabrook so longingly you know he’s wondering how he ended up with Kane.

canada Stuck in the middle with you.

And Seabrook once (maybe) blew Kane a kiss on the ice after Patty assisted on a goal.  FLIRT.  Here’s the video evidence, you be the judge.

Chicago Blackhawks Headshots

So what is it about Brent Seabrook that gets everyone all swoony?  If being 6’3″, Canadian and making $7 million this year aren’t enough…

stats

He’s won the Cup.

 

He adopts rescue dogs, names them Stanley and puts them in the Cup.  Also he wears the same socks as everyone husband/boyfriend/brother.

BrentSeabrookandStanley

He has the best widow’s peak this side of The Munsters.

eddie-munster

Seriously, his hair.

seabs shirtSkreened.com – Pucks and Pixels Shop

(Brent’s wife Dayna is pregnant – please let the baby be born with his dad’s ‘do.)

He and his hair are part-time models:

seabs4

He had a cardboard groomsman at his wedding.  (I don’t know the story, but I wish I’d thought of this!)

seabs6Speaking his brother, and of their hair… is that Thor?

He even organizes charity events to benefit inner city schools.  Good deeds and bowling and reading?  Date night!

You can spend tomorrow evening with Brent and the Blackhawks as they begin the WCF against LA.  Game time is 5 PM Eastern.  Of course, you’ll have to share date night with the rest of us… but I’m pretty good at bowling.

Stanley Cup Finals - Chicago Blackhawks v Philadelphia Flyers - Game Six

BeardWatch2013: We’re Holding Out for a Hero

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Like a Boss, Playoffs, Puck Daddy, We Love

“We need a hero. We’re holding out for a hero to the end of the night.  He’s gotta have a beard and he’s gotta have fuzz. And he’s gotta be fresh from the ice.” ~ Chuck & Pants

It’s Conference Final time, and every hockey fan knows it’s often a new guy, a third-liner or someone breaking out of a slump at just the right moment who becomes a playoff hero.

Each of the four teams left owe a great measure of success to such a player. We salute these remaining heroes – and their beards – for what they’ve achieved so far, and for helping their teams’ dreams of bearded glory live on.

Read the rest of our post on Puck Daddy.

 

Bigger, Better, Faster, MORE.

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

So this is it:

conf final

If your team won a Stanley Cup in the last four years, remain in your seat to ride the roller coaster again.  If not, you probably hate this.  It’s like playing original Monopoly, before they swapped the iron for a cat, and thinking, “Oh great, the old shoe won again.”  (Seriously, how is a thimble more relevant than an iron?)

Lucky for us, we are old shoes.

facebook

Chuck and I will be suspending all direct interaction during the Bruins/Penguins series and communicating only via passive aggressive Tweets and blogs.

mal

Perhaps we’ll let Intern Jeff Skinner man a scoreboard and tally how many times we don’t say what we want to say because we know we can’t unsay it, even when the series ends with the inevitable Penguins win.  (INTERN EDIT: Stop it, Pants.  Behave yourself.)

Fine, Principal Skinner.

bruins pens

Last night’s Hawks OT win guaranteed that a great many of our Western Conference friends will be just as verklempt during Round 3.  That means “choked with emotion,” or perhaps more specifically from the German verklemmt – “emotionally inhibited in a convulsive way” [urbandictionary].

I think it’s fair to anticipate convulsions, no?

hawks kings

Personally, I’m thrilled to have something to care about in the West.  I haven’t seen enough of Kaner’s tufty beard-and-receding hairline mullet combo.  Plus the Kings ensure that we won’t run out of #BreadWatch2013 topics to discuss.

(Ha! #BreadWatch – Typo of the Week.)

kaner

It’s going to get a little ugly, a little dirty, but we’ll all love each other again in the end.  In a few wins wars weeks.  Right?

Take the next two days to love your friends because when Saturday comes, all bets (and BFFs) are off.

Magnificent Sevens

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Over the weekend, things got very interesting out west.  First the Sharks and Kings repeated the Capitals/Rangers dance of winning every home game to take their series to seven games.

 

I hope the trend of that series continues… which would mean the Sharks win Game 7.  The Kings got to be bearded longest last year, let’s give the Sharks one more round to see what they can really do, okay?  I’m generally against repeating for the Cup unless you’re my team, which means I don’t want the Kings to win again.  I don’t want either of these teams to win it all anyway.  And I don’t have to make sense.

Look how excited this lady is – don’t let her down tonight!

logan

After the Sharks staved off elimination, then came the Blackhawks.  From the highest highs of this season to the lowest lows of this series, the Hawks have certainly been dramatic.  Watching the Jonathan Toews equivalent of a sleep-deprived, sugar-induced Sunday afternoon at Target temper tantrum was the low point.  But we’ve all been there.

kate

Sometimes you just need a friend who’s not afraid to barge into your room…

seabs2

… and tell you that now is not the time for your Bachelorette meltdown!  Don’t be that girl who cries in the limo, Jon!

seabs

Now the Hawks have bounced back to force Game 7.  Is it Luck?  Perseverance?  Goonies never say die?  If I were betting on which team shows up tomorrow night – the Hawks from this year or the Hawks from last week – I’d bet on the Hawks (and the Toews) from this year.  Get it, boys.

 

These are the Game 7s that I love.  SJ/LA won’t rip my heart out either way.  CHI/DET could, but I feel lucky the Hawks are in it after dodging the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Now It doesn’t matter how you got here, it only matters how you leave.

Foxy Friday: Brendan Smith

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.

We love you guys.  Seriously.

I sent the word out last night that I was looking for Foxy Friday nominees and our twitter feed blew up with a ton of suggestions.

As I started to google them to ascertain their Foxy Friday potential, there was one that clearly stood out amongst the rest.

Detroit Red Wings’ Brendan Smith.

Let’s be honest here.  It’s the smile that did me in.

It’s just so happy and shiny and genuine.  You know that when is his smiling, he REALLY means it.

My heart just bursts with rainbows and glitter when I see it.

You see the ways his eyes crinkle up when he flashes that grin.  That’s when you know it is legit.

Also his teeth are perfect.  Sure some of them might be fake but if they are, kudos to his dentist.  I work at a dental school so I know a little something about teeth.

Thanks to the magic of the interwebs, I’ve been able to learn a bit more about Brendan Smith.

He loves Tim Horton’s donuts.

He loves knee socks.

When learning to skate, he’ll always be there to help you up.

 He knows how to work the beanie/hoodie fashion combo.

If you took him to a Jason Alden concert, he’d fit right in.

If you’re feeling sad, he’ll write you a poem.

Should you ever become stranded in the wilderness, you wouldn’t starve to death.

 

When his hockey career is over, he could get a job on late night TV.  He’s a natural…who also likes PF Chang’s.

 

Thank you for opening my eyes to the foxiness that is Brendan Smith.

I am forever in your debt.

BeardWatch 2013: The Ginger Beard Edition

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Like a Boss, Newsies, Playoffs, Puck Daddy, We Love

Never in considering playoff beards or writing this informative and newsworthy weekly feature did we expect to find that so many people share our affinity for ginger beards. You’re all into hockey, that’s enough to make us friends. This common captivation with facial hair takes our relationship to the next level.

Since we’ve made ginger beards a thing, it’s time to give them their due. Last week, we mentioned Daniel Alfredsson and Brian Bickell’s impressive contributions. Here are the rest of The Best 2013 Ginger Beards, from rusty to rosy and everything in between.

Read the whole article [here].

#beardwatch2013  #Gingerbeard

 

I Like Winning

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves, Playoffs

As much as I like intensely battled hockey games, it’s nice to get a big win once in a while.  It’s nice to take a 3-1 playoff series lead.

Last night’s Pens/Sens game significantly reduced my risk of a heart attack.

 

Malkin said Neal was ready to bust out of his scoring slump [link], and it appears Geno knows a thing or two about hockey and his linemates.  Not only did Nealmobile have 2 goals last night, but so did Iginla.  There were so many hugs.

James Neal

And toe drags.

sid2

There were post-game interviews.

iggyIginla/Crosby/Neal

And the NHL Network Cisco Arena Cam, the most awkward “where am I looking?” interview in sports.

neal beardInterview video here.

There was also the Gingerbeard, looking more ginger and more mysterious than any mysteriously ginger beard before it.

Seriously, why is it this color on Canadian TV:

neal3

And this color on American TV?

neal1

It’s ginger either way, but Canada’s RGB – I mean the color model but this could also stand for Ridiculously Gingerbeard – is turned waaaaaaay up for TV.  America’s appears to be more subdued, in any lighting.  Are our neighbors to the north manipulating TV to make ginger beards appear more ginger?

CANADA, YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT.

robin sparkle

Defensively, last night was pretty shaky, but not since Game 1 vs. NYI have the Pens looked so confident and composed on offense.  When asked if the Senators could come back, captain Daniel Alfredsson said:

“Probably not,” he said, “Their depth and power play right now, it doesn’t look too good [for us].” – CBC.ca

Call me crazy but I’m not counting anyone out.  I am, however, counting on these Penguins to show up Friday night to put this series away.  Mr. Pants’ birthday is this weekend and we’re going to a bluegrass festival Sunday, when Game 6 would be.  No one wants to hear me screaming for goals over the sound of a banjo and some spoons.

sid fall

Be Smarter.

- Posted in Newsies, Things We Learned on Twitter

If you want something in life, it’s best just to ask for it.

serenity

Today, I’m asking for a lot: BE SMARTER.

In case you missed the late night (Eastern time) Twitter riot , the LA Kings gave control of their account to KROQ radio host Kevin Ryder for the second period of Game 4 vs. the Sharks.  He did this:

kingsImage from CBSSports.com

And because nothing is funnier than a rape joke, the Kings then had to do this:

kings2

I’m curious what you think.  Do you care?  Is a tasteless joke excusable or is an organization responsible for what they put forth, regardless of author?  We’re all desensitized to a certain amount of ingrained sexism and misogyny, especially in sports.  Where is the line?

Before turning over the keyboard, the Kings said:

kings3How true?

Honestly, I’m all out of passes for people doing stupid things on social media.  We’ve already discussed how the trend-setting and extremely popular Kings Twitter account operates under the “Usually We’re Funny and Sometimes We’re Jerks” mandate [link].  We also talked about Asshole Day, celebrated by Duncan Keith and Tyler Seguin with various sexist/homophobic/moronic remarks [link].  My inner publicist dies a little when this happens.

ryder2

I don’t want everything sanitized and I want these team accounts to have personalities and have fun.  Sometimes they will push boundaries.  But sometimes they will jump off the edge.  This is a failure on the part of whoever runs that ship to keep their sailors from going overboard.

Also, being upset that people are upset by something you said to upset them? No.  You worry about you, dude.  Be smarter.

ryder

On the ice, the Sharks were busy winning.  They’ve come back from 2-0 down to tie the series.  Maybe the Kings won’t have worry about their Twitter account for much longer this season.

There Will Be Blood… and Milkshakes

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Newsies, Playoffs

If last night’s Bruins/Rangers game was a movie, it would be called “There Will Be Blood”.

Lumber was a-flying and the team trainers were going through cotton gauze like Taylor Swift goes through boyfriends.

Patrice Bergeron, Zdeno Chara, and Carl Hagelin were just some of the players that needed zippers to close up gashes. Tyler Seguin got clubbed in the face trying to split the Rangers D.

And even with a blood stained sweater and egg above his eye, the Professor is still absolute perfection.

Bruins took a decisive 3-0 series lead on the Rangers last night with a 2-1 victory at Madison Square Garden.  Lundqvist was stellar in net and showed us all why he’s nominated yet again for the Vezina Trophy.

 

While Lundqvist was great, the Bruins’ 4th line was better.  Shawn Thornton, Gregory Campbell, and Danny Paille were by far the best line for either team.  I double dog dare you to name a more productive and skilled 4th line in the entire NHL.

Merlot Line.  Drink it up. Tastes so smooth.

The advantage of having a 4th line like the Bruins, is that most teams don’t have an answer for them.  They simply don’t have the personnel to get the  match-up needed to neutralize the speed of Paille, the physicality of Thornton, or the shot of Campbell.  The Merlot Line has accounted for five of the team’s six points (1 G, 4 A, 6 SOG).

Last night, Paille scored what might be the most fluky, improbably goal in the Playoffs.  The puck bounced off Lundqvist’s mask, fluttered down to the goal line, then bounced forward, AWAY from the net.  Paille was then able to put it in.  Everyone was all “WTF just happened?!”

Other game notes….

Teen Wolf Tyler Seguin is still looking for his first goal of the playoffs…but it is most certainly not for a lack of trying. He’s been shifted to the 3rd line but don’t think for a minute that this is a demotion.  Playing with Peverley and Kelly has seemed to open up his game and allowed him to get some quality scoring opportunities.  But he has got to be frustrated.

Young Guns on Defense – The Bruins’ young defensemen Torey Krug & Matt Bartkowski have had a great series so far.  Krug has scored 2 goals in 3 games.  What he might lack in size, he more than makes up for in skill.

Soft hands, people.

Jagr’s Beard.

Jagr - weird beard

What is this thing?  At first, I thought that it was shaved in the middle, like some weird mutton chop thing you might find on an extra in Game of Thrones.  But then it realized that it is just gray.

You know, the more I look at it, the more I love it.  It is bizarre, but when you are one of the greatest players in the game and on your way to the Hall of Fame, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Bruins can close out the series with a win tomorrow, sweeping the series and securing a spot in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Should that happen Thursday, I would not want to be anyone in that Rangers’ locker room.

Put Me In, Coach!

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Just when there’s no time for any blogging today, the Hawks put Viktor Stalberg back into the lineup.  And I find time to send you this:

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Here’s the story from NHL.com.  The Hawks were the Hawks in Game 1, winning 4-1 over Detroit.  Then a Freaky Friday (though it was Saturday) body-switching catastrophe happened and the Wings were suddenly the Hawks in Game 2.

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Game 3 tonight.  Recently benched Stalberg and Handzus will play.  Why were they benched?  Coach Q’s mustache said it was to make room for Dave Bolland [story] but apparently told Viktor it was performance-related.  Once again proving the NHL is not a beauty pageant, no matter what this blog looks like.

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Speaking of which, Jonathan Toews still has NO playoffs goals which you know is making him Captain Crazy.  Let’s hope Chicago’s back to form tonight, despite the radiant perfection of the Zetterbeard.  They have some radiant perfection of their own we’d like to see smiling.

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Foxy Friday: One for Everyone

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Playoffs

The power of Foxy Friday is surprising.  Players have an eerie tendency to over-perform immediately after being featured – and it’s not always a good thing for us.  When NYI’s Matt Martin pretty much ruined my life in Game 2 vs. the Penguins, I promised not to foxify anyone from an opposing team for the rest of the playoffs.  These are dangerous times.

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I wanted to feature a player who’s still playing hockey, since we have to get through the whole summer with guys playing golf.  How to do that without cursing myself tonight?  How about one of each?

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Ottawa – Eric Gryba

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Suspended two games in Round 1 for an earth-shattering hit that seemed clean to us, Eric Gryba is Chuck’s kinda guy.  With that beard, he could be Rick Nash’s stunt double.  He left Tuesday’s game with an ‘upper body injury’ after a big hit from Pens’ Brooks Orpik, and will not play tonight.  Get well, Eric! (Just not well enough to score goals, or stop them, you know… that’s my disclaimer.)

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Pittsburgh – Matt Niskanen

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If you never looked past James Neal in the Penguins/Stars trade, you may have ignored Nisky back there on the blue line.  Being adorable.  Having “Norman” for a middle name.  Talking like he’s from Minnesota with a shot of Texas.  Maybe you saw him fighting Kyle Okposo in Round 1.  Stupid brawl, but foxy black eye.  Go ahead and score all the points you want. (@alisonsykora approves this message.)

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New York – Derick Brassard

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Rhonda suggested Derick for Foxy Friday and got a really huge NO from me, but I’ll include him here.  Who does he look like to you?  It’s not Logan Lerman.  Someone on Glee?  I feel like Derick is going to break into a cover song at any moment.  I thought he was a rookie, but it turns out he was just playing in Columbus for 5 years.  Maybe I’ll just call him Foxy Trade Bonus.

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Boston – Daniel Paille

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Chuck hopes the Foxy Friday luck rubs off on Pie, since he hasn’t scored in a bit.  I think Paille looks much better without his heard.  It’s the whole strong-jawed, Bryce Harper thing.  But he can keep growing it as long as Chuck gets to keep watching her Bs – and he keeps hugging people this enthusiastically.

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Los Angeles – Jarret Stoll

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Jarret Stoll got hit by Raffi Torres in Game 1 of this series.  Torres got suspended (shocker) and Stoll missed Game 2 last night.  I don’t really get swoony over Stoll – are there any blond celebs he hasn’t dated? – but I like Erin Andrews a lot.  If he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for Foxy Friday.  Here’s hoping he’s back in the Kings’ lineup soon.

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San Jose – Joe Pavelski

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Featured in this week’s BeardWatch2013 for his perfect 1:1 hair-to-beard ratio, Little Joe is one of my favorite Sharks.  Also the Sharks’ TV commercials were a highlight of living in the Bay Area for three years.  Enjoy Joe Pavelski – Lousy Detective, Joe Pavelski’s “Rest Homies” and just plain old Joe Pavelski.

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Detroit – Jordin Tootoo

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Things Jordin Tootoo loves: Instagram, his girlfriend, pictures of food and hockey fans.  He is quite possibly the most exuberant NHL player on social media (minus Biz and with zero snark).  Not only was Jordin the NHL’s first player of Inuit descent, but also the first from the Canadian province of Nunavut (Correction: Per shanes, it’s the territory of Nunavut. I have no idea what the distinction means, but I shall look it up!).  There’s a place in Canada where not everyone plays NHL hockey?  Dreams ruined.  Jordin is currently benched in favor of Todd Bertuzzi (DISLIKE) – maybe this will put him back in the lineup.

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Chicago – Brian Bickell

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A long-standing Foxy Friday requirement: Must Love Dogs.  Brian Bickell does.  He and his wife even founded Chicago Loves Pits, an organization to educate and open hearts and minds about pitbulls.  D’awww!  I know the sweetest pit, her name is Luna, and this one’s for her.  Brian also very gracefully handled the Blackhawks’ decision not to include his name on the Stanely Cup, and we love a polite guy.  In a Christmas sweater.

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There you have it, even-stevens foxiness across the board.  Let’s see if it works.

Intern Birthday!

- Posted in Birthday Boy, Intern Jeff Skinner

Oops, am I late?  We’ve been celebrating Intern Jeff Skinner’s birthday.  He’s 21 today, so… we were having apple juice and cake.

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And we made him serve it.  This is a job, people!

Jeff’s big day comes during the un-offseason.  He’s rather be in the playoffs, but how does Jeff feel about playing for Team Canada?  Proud.

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How does he feel about turning 21?  Like an adult.

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How does he feel when we tease him for having a girlfriend?

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Haha, that’s about right.

Happy birthday, Intern Jeff Skinner!  Now back to work!

Birthday Boy: #TeamEbs

- Posted in Birthday Boy

Happy 23rd birthday, Jordan Eberle!

Remember when we were asking:

 

Then we got distracted by the playoffs?  Well, meet Kevin Wheeler.

 

Please, no one disillusion me by saying Canada is not a magical land full of helpful neighbors, cops who give hockey-related high speed escorts and adorklable Jordan Eberle drinking  Coca-Cola products.  I’m in my happy place right now.

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Actually, my happy place would be in Sweden for the World Championships.  Can I get a minute for Team Canada?  How did they get a plane off the ground with this much foxy on board?  Ebs, #TeamSchultz, Luke Schenn, #TeamHall, Gingeroux, JStaal and EStaal, Intern Jeff Skinner, Matt Duchene AND Stamkos!

Excuse me while learn to push a beverage cart and deploy door slides.

team canadaimage by littlestaalthings.tumblr.com

We cannot watch this magic in America because we hate fun things, but it appears that Team Canada is undefeated in this tournament so far [link].

Is it a Swimsuit Competition?  They will never lose.  Not even against Sweden, who they play Thursday.

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Ebs had a seesaw year, racking up points in OKC then struggling (along with everyone) back in EDM.  He/they had a pretty great year on WUYS – glad we could help.  Here’s hoping the Oilers make the playoffs next year, also make more Cabbie videos and that someone finally steps up for #Team RNH.