Take a Bow

3rd period Earth science teacher  John Tavares had his jersey retired by the Oshawa Generals last night.

Does this marshmallow cloud have seat belts? Otherwise all the kittens are going to fall off.

It used to be there was nothing better than John’s humble awkwardness (which lives on, of course):


At least you can’t see my bowl cut.

Now we also get this:


Plaid suit, because John takes notes.

Apparently John did summer training with Ralph Lauren.  While he wasn’t doing squats, he must have been tying windsors and choosing lapel cuts because yes.  100%.  This suit is so good, I assume PK Subban picked it out.


Can Crosby go to this camp? (Photo credit: @ GoodallMedia)

In 223 games over four seasons with the Generals, John scored 183 goals and a total of 453 points. 453 points?! He had a 72 goal season in ’06-07. This back the day when footwork and skating were openly discussed problems in John’s game, which he worked on relentlessly until, well, you can watch him now.



I will openly discuss that I don’t need more good teams in the League. I have enough Metropolitan Division problems and the Penguins have Islander problems even when no one else does. But please, someone field John a team that is deeper than one line and figure out how to keep it together. I want to see more prom-style award acceptance photos.


This guy.  (Photo credit: @ GoodallMedia)

The Islanders season kicks of October 10 in Carolina.  Could this be JT’s year?



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  1. Oh man, I need to be warned when players are back in and around the GTA. I would definitely have made a field trip to Durham County for this.

    Side note: It’s not even October and he’s already wearing a poppy. Isn’t this excessively early to wear one? Am I a bad Canadian? Or is John just a fantastic Canadian?

    • Pants Reply

      Fantastic Canadian. Don’t feel bad – no one can live up to this.

    • ALISON YOU READ MY MIND. Are we that bad? Or is John just THAT good? Side note: where is he even getting a poppy this early? (Answer: leftover from last year because he’s LIKE THAT)

  2. The Rangers need a great center. JT, I will personally welcome you with open arms.

    I mean, I know Chuck & Pants hate the Rangers on principle, but just think about a line with both JT *and* Rick Nash on it. EVERYONE WINS.

  3. So, yesterday I had the first pick in my fantasy league. I choose him. I could have Crosby, Geno, Stamkos. But I choose him. He’s my pikachu (oh hello, pokemon reference).

  4. P.S. ~ “Does this marshmallow cloud have seat belts? Otherwise all the kittens are going to fall off.”

    It’s this kind of writing that makes me love this blog so, so much.