Foxy Friday – Patrice Bergeron

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Last week’s Foxy Friday homage to Max Talbot, courtesy of Pants, got me thinking about all the other scrumptious French-Canadian players in the NHL. I will always hold a special spot in my heart for Martin “Squishy” St. Louis.  He’s just so mon-petite and absolutely adorable that I just want to put him in my pocket.  I mean, seriously, look at that face!

"I totally borrowed this suit from mon pere."

Adorable. But I think this week’s Foxy Friday feature belongs to the Comeback Kid, Mr. Patrice Bergeron.

Pretty sure he's wearing a velvet jacket. I want to touch it.

He looks distinguished and smart.   Patrice is that super hot college professor whose class on Comparative French Poetry you are really only taking because he reads Hugo and Baudelaire out loud and smells like wood and leather.

Buy my tie. It helps fight cancer.

While Squishy is cute like a puppy,  Patrice is classy.  Dare I say, regal?  I also happen to think that his broken nose, courtesy of Randy Jones, makes him looks even better.

It's a Cardi Party!

What do you think?  Is Professor Bergeron worth waking up for that 8am Monday morning class?

Oui.  Un million des oui.



This one wrote itself…

- Posted in Newsies

Edmonton Oiler’s goalie Nikolai Khabibulin or as I guess he is being called now “KHABI-BLEW-AN – .164 blood alcohol” this past summer … was sentence to 30 days in jail for “extreme DUI” which is twice the legal limit in most states.

A fan decided to create his own jersey to commemorate the event at a pre-season game.

cranky fan...

And you all think I’m snarky ….?

2010-2011 College Hockey Preview: Part One

- Posted in Chocolate Iced

Fall is upon us.  The leaves are turning.  The air is crisp.  It can mean only one thing…it’s time for another glorious season of college hockey!

Even the smart kids are crazy about college hockey!

Over the next two weeks, I’ll break down each conference and tell you who to watch throughout the country this year en route to the national title game in Minnesota.  We’ll also make some predictions with the WUYS staff and see who can pick this season’s national champ.  Today in part one we’re going west young man, and looking at the Western Collegiate Hockey Association.

The WCHA has an impressive history when you consider that since 1951, teams from the WCHA have earned 36 NCAA national championships and finished as the runner-up another 27 times.  That’s a lot of hardware (see below).

Cash for Gold?

Last season, four teams from the WCHA went to the national tournament: Denver, Wisconsin, North Dakota and St. Cloud State, with Wisconsin the eventual runner-up to Boston College (I hate the Eagles!) for the national title.

Look for North Dakota to be strong out of the gate.  With a great defensive unit anchored by  Captain Chay Genoway, the Fighting Sioux will be tough to beat.  It’s not an accident that ND is ranked No. 2 in the national preseason polls.   This team has the potential to dominate the conference and will be a serious contender in Minnesota come Frozen Four time.

Minnesota-Duluth has great scoring ability and should do well this year also.   Ranked No. 9 in the preseason polls, the Bulldogs return 20 letter-men, including five of their six top scorers from last year. The  star of that group, All-American center Jack Connolly (18G-31A-49P) is poised to take the Bulldogs to new heights this year.


UMD Standout Jack Connolly

St. Cloud State will sport solid  goal tending in their Lee-Dunn tandem.  However, with the loss of Ryan Lasch (20G-29A-49P), the Huskies could struggle to find enough offense this season.  The Huskies do return a large crop of upperclassmen and that experience should make them one of the teams to beat in the conference.

If Jaden Schwartz is everything he’s advertised as, Colorado College could have a very good year.  Schwartz, the WCHA Preseason Rookie of the Year, was also selected in the first round of the NHL draft by the St. Louis Blues.

Jaden Schwartz - The Answer?

The Tigers are loaded with forwards, some proven, some raw recruits.  That being said, defense could be an issue with so many talented offensive teams in the conference.

The Denver Pioneers look to be in a bit of a rebuilding season as they lost many players from last year.  Picked 11th nationally in preseason polls, DU will look to build around a solid defensive corps that includes sophomore Matt Donovan.  The Pioneers will be tested early as they open their home schedule against defending NCAA champion Boston College (did I mention I hate BC?) with a pair of games October 15-16.

Bimidji State is new to the conference this season, but this is the team that shocked the hockey establishment a couple of years ago by advancing to the Frozen Four.  With a 23-10-4 record  overall last season in the CHA, the WCHA coaches poll has BS finishing in the bottom tier of the conference in 9th place.  I have to agree.

Nebraska-Omaha is the other new team this year and are a bit of an unknown.  They will retain most of their offensive firepower from last year, but defensively they could struggle.  Don’t expect them to finish any higher than 7th this season.

The Minnesota Golden Gophers, once a feared team and in the national consciousness has lost a bit of its bite int he last few years.  The coaches poll has them finishing squarely int he middle of the pack in 5th place.  Minnesota’s Nick Bjugstad did receive a vote for preseason rookie of the year.  Coach Don Lucia could surprise some folks this year out west and the Gophers could find themselves in the mix come playoff time.

Wisconsin will surprise me if they spend any time in the top half of the conference.  The national runners-up lost seven of their best players last year and you just can’t replace that kind of talent overnight.

This badger looks tough...

Minnesota State will struggle to put the puck in the net as they lose almost all of their top scorers from last season.  They will stay toward the bottom this year.  the same can be said of Michigan Tech, which was very thin at the blue line last season.

Finally, Alaska-Anchorage will again struggle to fight its way out of the basement as there are holes all over the ice for them this year.

Well, there you have it folks.  The west will (likely) be won this year by North Dakota.  I think this conference can legitimately send several teams to the NCAAs that will contend for a title.

Here’s how the WUYS staff picks the WCHA this year:

CI – North Dakota…they have too many weapons

Pants – North Dakota…” I don’t know enough to argue with those numbers.  That’s some seriously heavy favoritism.”

Chuck – Chuck, Chuck are you there?

DawnCherrie – TBD

Next time we’ll have a look at the CCHA.  Until next time.

From Chuck
Hey all.  I’m here!  So I’m going to have to go with CI and Pants on this one.  I pick the Fighting Sioux of North Dakota to win the WCHA.  They are stacked like Jenga.

Ed’s Note: Apparently DawnCherrie is picking Wisconsin to win this conference.  I know that Badger looks cute in the photo, but I don’t think the fellas on the ice will have it this year.

Totally priceless …

- Posted in Dawn Loves

http://vimeo.com/15257011

Ovi has a new commercial for CCM skates and I LOVE IT! Although he can’t act and is laughing through out when he is supposed to be a total A**, he is just too adorable and shows he can make fun of himself and the image MAX TALBOT likes to refer to!

Gee Dad, when's curfew? Can I have a girl over?


And in other news just for Pants, Sidney Crosby may just be ready to FINALLY move out of Mario Lemieux’s home after living there for, oh, 6 years! Seriously, he has lived with Mario since he signed with the Pens. But he says that although his house is almost ready, he is not going to make any rash decisions about moving out too fast. Hummm …. 23 years old and basically still living at home. Sounds like a prize! It’s not like he moved to America and doesn’t know the language or anything … Like Ovi … Or is Canadian speak that much different or harder than Russian?

You decide – heh? 😉

Countdown: 9 Days

- Posted in Newsies

I am so cranky!  First I couldn’t wait for pre-season and now I’m already tired of it.  Split-squad games, pretending I care who is reassigned… boring.  The sound of skates on ice is lovely, but I’m ready for stuff to count.  In anticipation of that, today’s news items are things I think will actually matter come October 7:

– Islanders and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hockey Season: Over before it begins?  The Isles haven’t won a playoff series since 1992 (when Crosby was 4 years old) and recently got very excited about Official Team Cupcakes.  Yes really.  So you could argue that news of top defensemen Mark Streit and Kyle Okposo both out for months doesn’t really matter.  But we at WUYS care because Rick DiPietro is our BU pal and we hate to see him confined to the Blair Witch house basement Nassau Coliseum.  Since Streit and Okposo have injuries to opposing shoulders, we suggest they find a Hamptons plastic surgeon to combine their working parts into a single defenseman, so at least someone shows up every night to stand in front of Ricky.

Tastes like sadness.

– Kovalchuk Scores a Goal: And the Devils win 3-2 over Philly.  $100 million (+$3 million fine) looking well spent?

– Brian Gionta is named captain of the Canadiens: Giving us all plenty of rude things to yell at the TV.  Will he do well?  The eighth-seeded Habs downed Washington and Pittsburgh in a pretty epic playoff run last year, so Gionta has both pressure and momentum coming into this season.  Still, at 5′ 7″ tall (measured by the Tom Cruise tape) both Chuck and I could put BG in our pockets.  I’d like to see him tell Hal Gill what to do.

– I’m with the DJ: You can’t afford Winter Classic tickets, even if there were tickets to buy.  You can enter for the chance to win the right to pay $300 a ticket, or buy the Penguins Ultimate Fan Package – tix to the Classic and the first home game at Consol Energy Center for $1500.  Let me tell you what $1500 would have to include… okay, I won’t.  I don’t need to.

I like to be in America...

In totally unimportant news, I got one Sedin and one Staal on my fantasy hockey team, As Good as it Getzlaf (I did not get Ryan Getzlaf).  I’ll spend all season trying to remember which ones.  I had to drop Marc Savard (he hit his head and wants to spend more time with Chuck, not necessarily in that order), but I did get myself Alex Tanguay out of sheer faith.  Luongo and Lundqvist in goal… I’m looking pretty good, I think.  Anyone else playing?

Mike Green Paid for This

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Look who did his hair and put on a tie!  Mike Green is trying to impress us.  Unnecessary, I say, but it’s so cute of him to always bring us presents.  I have my own little present for Mike, to put him in the ranks of WUYS favorites like Martin St. Louis.  A nickname: Fidget. He’s forever touching his face, moving around and he probably put the tie on so he’d have something else to do with his hands (hey, that sounds dirty).  The weird thing is that it makes him endearing.  Oh, is Fidget a little nervous?  Tie a little tight?  Or is he just bored with these lame questions?  Who cares!  We saw 0.42% of a smile. [video]

Nice lighting, CSI.

Mike Green Paid for This – Episode Three: The Mohawk

My iPod just started playing LL Cool J’s “Loungin’” where he sings about “official hair style…”

Mike has rocked his signature Mohawk a handful of times, so we’re going to assume that he paid for the haircut at least once.  Probably not in ’09 when he did it on the Elliot in the Morning radio show.  If you’ve ever wondered what Mike Green looks like half-asleep at 8:30 AM (Hey, watch it!), maybe be glad you didn’t wonder it in 2009.  Twenty-three was an awkward age for me too.

There are a few incarnations of the ‘hawk: fauxhawk, mohawk, nohawk.

Fresh from the barber shop...

Our verdict is: faux hawk. It reminds us that Mike is the kind of guy that we love: he’d totally take a dare, wear a hilarious Halloween costume, jump out of a cake at my your bachelorette party.  But you don’t have to look at the full effect every day:

(We do not support Fidget’s facial hair.  Especially with a fresh ‘hawk.  Playoff beards are manly but some of our baby-faced stars need to let them germinate a while before planting them in public.  Jonathan Toews, we’re talking to you. )

This is a first at WUYS – admitting I prefer the half-assed hipster version of something over the 100% real deal.  Way to make me feel like a poser, Fidget.  I like to nohawk regular haircut as well, especially when he’s wearing a tie.  And while I cannot root for the Caps to make the playoffs, I will root for the ‘hawk to make an appearance when April rolls around.  Because anything is better than this:

Ovi did this, I know it.

I totally bought these!

- Posted in Dawn Loves

I couldn’t help myself because unlike Pants, I <3 sparkly, bright, shiny things – like a magpie – or better yet – like Mike Green to Mariah Carey. Plus the total bonus was they were discounted and no comment from the peanut gallery about the Ovi shirt! Puh-lease …

bright AND sparkly

There has been enough bashing today and I will give Max props for being hot – there I said it. He’s HOT. Even I can appreciate a hot hockey player as long as his mouth is, well, I guess it wouldn’t work if I duct taped his mouth shut – huh?! And he’s French, which is another strike against him but oh well. He is hot and I’ll leave it at that.

Hot for O'vechkin!

Besides, I won’t mention, that again, the only picture any one can find of Sidney Crosby is yet again, with a guy – a hot guy, but a guy none the less. Oops, sorry. I digressed.

I am now waiting by my mail box for my sparkly (which I HOPE is bedazzled with genuine Swarovski crystals!) Caps Lucky tank top and my Ovechkin Women’s Green St. Patrick’s Day shirt – which, if it’s coming UPS Ground – MIGHT be here by the next St. Patrick’s Day.

But that is another story for another day which I will only add –  I left on the NHL shop’s website because they bugged me for feedback.  BTW – I think they got a good laugh that day and decided to call me only to see if I truly existed as well as my dead, blind, crippled, paralyzed grandma.

Note from Pants:

I’m pulling editorial and posting this, because it’s too weird!  I am wearing the Crosby version of that St. Patrick’s Day shirt right now. Wonder twins activate?  For Jello wrestling during the Winter Classic?

fashion show at work

PS: You like that Matt Damon peeking over my shoulder?

le Foxy Friday – Max Talbot

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Pants Loves

Pants’ Turn! It’s 6:30 AM and I am doing Foxy Friday. Before I take a nap under my desk. Since Dawn Cherrie was so mean to Maxime Talbot last week, this week WUYS is giving him some love. So what if he called Ovi a “douche”? We were all thinking it! (Okay, okay, I’ll stop.)

Gun show.

Squee!

Every Pens fans loves Max Talbot. Every team has one, and he’s OUR guy.  Sure he plays 12 minutes a game and is more about energy than scoring, but Max has repeatedly been something that you can’t teach, train or capture: Max is clutch. In the ’08 Cup Final, he rescued us with a Game 5-tying goal (34 seconds left in game), allowing the Pens to win in triple OT and stave off the Wings for one more game. I was in the conference room at my office, lying on the table screaming at the TV so loud security came to check on me. The Pens lost that series, but Max was not to be stopped.

In the ’09 Final, Max scored both of the Pens game 7 goals to win the Stanley Cup. Mr. Pants had tied me up by then, for fear I’d hurt myself, so I settled for shouting and weeping openly on the couch.

Max is Mr. Personality, and if you don’t like that personality then you and Ovi can go have dental work. It’s also a very well-documented fact that ladies love Max. (Again with the Google – it’s 94% awesome, 5% sasquatch beard and 1% open-mouth kissing.  You’ve been warned.) And why not? He’s French, furry and fun. And he loves to make TV commercials:

And translate for Flower, who is one breath away from going to Laugh Land and ruining everything:

And of course there’s the play that will probably go down as Max’s Pens legacy.  Game 6 vs. Philly in ’09, the Pens are getting stomped 3-0.  They haven’t scored in 1.5 games.  Max makes a bad pass and gets mad (or even – you decide).  He picks a fight with Carcillo, basically volunteering to get his ass kicked, then dusts himself off and promptly tells the Flyers fans to “shhhhh.”  Dick move, right?  Except the Pens immediately start scoring – 5 unanswered goals – win the game and send Carcillo and his pals to the golf course.  If you believe in game-changing moments, in momentum and in fate, Max won the Cup for the Pens twice in the same year: once with his swagger, once with his skill.  And that is foxy.

Because Freezing the Water Just Doesn't Make Sense

- Posted in We Love

That is the subject line of an email I received this morning.  Intrigued, I clicked on the link.  This is what I found.

Metro West Underwater Hockey
Underwater hockey is a very fast-moving game that provides great exercise and quickly builds swimming capability. It is played on the bottom of a swimming pool and players wear fins, mask, snorkel, and a protective glove and headgear. The stick is short, approximately 1 foot long, the puck is heavy, around 3 lb., and the goal is 3 meters (9′) long. The rules are “non-contact” and players generally cover “zones” around the puck. Success (scoring) ultimately depends on teamwork. Since the sport is played in the water, individual strength is less of an advantage than it is in many other sports. This makes the sport open and fun to anyone from complete rookies to long-time players who interested in a great workout.

Obstruction Swimming. 2 Minutes.You feel shame.

Look, I’m all for fun, seemingly useless sports that you can play whilst buzzing off a bottle of Boone’s or a few vodka cranberries.  [Pretty sure Pants is too.  We did play broomball after all. We’ll save the deets about our 2-dozen donut fine for a later post.]

I LOVE to swim and I love hockey, but this is just stupid.  The only water sports I want to be involved in are these..

Scottie Upshall

Kris Letang

Hottie Henrik

Flippers + Smirnoff = Fun

Marty B.

So Fresh. So Clean.

About last night…

- Posted in Newsies

Merry Christmas to us! I have to get HBO and a bigger text messaging plan for this.  Maybe I could just get a red phone that rings every time Dawn wants to squeal about Ovi’s man/bear-ness or send me photos of her “Sidney Crosby Sucks” t-shirt.

NHL, HBO announce 24/7 series featuring Washington Capitals, Pittsburgh Penguins and NHL Winter Classic

The NHL and HBO Sports announced Thursday their partnership for a groundbreaking, four-episode series as part of the network’s 12-time Emmy Award-winning “24/7” reality TV franchise that will go deep into the inner workings of the Capitals-Penguins rivalry leading up to the 2011 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic, which will be played Jan. 1 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh.

The series will debut with an hour-long show Dec. 15 at 10 p.m. ET with an encore at 11. Ensuing episodes will debut at 10 p.m. ET on the subsequent Wednesdays — Dec. 22, 29 and Jan. 5 — all with an encore at 11. All four episodes will have multiple replay dates on HBO, and the series also will be available on HBO On Demand. [NHL.com]

ALERT: Caps reaction video, in which Mike Green almost smiles!!  Also Ovi promises to swear in Russian and Greener talks about having “grown up” and being less “colorful.”  That had better not be too true.

HELP ME - This is turning into a Caps blog!

Well, there goes December.  But first we have to make it that far!  Last night, all the WUYS fave teams got off to strong starts:

– The Pens broke in the CONSOL Energy Center with a 5-1 spank of the Red Wings, including goals from Mr. Hilary Duff and Crosby, and assists for Sid and Letang (Love. His. Hair.)

We want to brush it.

– Patrice Bergeron treated Chuck to 2 goals as the Bruins beat Montreal 4-2.  He’s not Chuck’s fave, but she’ll need something to do all season if Savard’s post-concussion syndrome is as serious as feared.  And Seguin is too young, unless he’s also a werewolf in which case we have no problem being Team Tyler.

Aimez-moi, s'il vous plaît.

– The Capitals downed Columbus 6-2.  Neither Ovi nor Greener skated, but Tomas Fleishmann got 2 goals.  And his nickname is Flash, like the dog on The Dukes of Hazzard.

Flash hated Boss Hogg.

– The Lightning beat the Blackhawks in Winnipeg, putting a sad face on Captain Serious‘ return to his hometown and causing him to lose customers for his summer lawn mowing business.  Later he swam away his sadness in the lake they named for him.

Seven more games tonight, including a mini-set between the Coyotes and Kings.  BizNasty will undoubtedly report what they have for dinner and how many girls swoon over Taylor Pyatt.  Breaking news, people.

And so it begins

- Posted in Newsies

Happy pre-season!  Nine games were played last night, many featuring younger and 3rd/4th line guys who hope to make the teams and become household names in two weeks.  A few highlights:

– Alex Tanguay notched 2 assists and was named first star against Vancouver in mini-game, split-squad action.  Woot!

– Ducks players who weren’t on the ice were around the arena meeting fans.  Ryan Getzlaf, get me some nachos. (photos)

Beers are on Getz.

– No one really knows what a Blue Jacket is.  It apparently refers to “Ohio’s rich Civil War” history, but is not a direct reference to anything except a Shawnee American Indian chief who may have been a captured white man raised by the tribe.  Almost as confusing as why Columbus has a hockey team.

I was thinking about what to post today, and all I could find were 20 videos of Captain Serious boring me to death while I wondered how much he gets an hour for mowing lawns in his neighborhood.  Because you know he does.  Probably for free if you feed him PB&J with no crust and some Sunny D.  So instead I found this, dedicated to Dawn Cherrie: it’s laugh-out-loud funny, after which I want to put Sean Avery in a box with a wolverine and throw him into the Hudson River.  [The New Yorker in me loves this.  Je suis désolé, Maxime.]

Livin' on a Prayer

- Posted in Pants Loves

I’m sending this one up: Alex Tanguay.  Please, please do well.

Alex Tanguay, as Phoebe from Friends would say, is my lobster.  He was my favorite player for a long time – back before I had to preface it with “totally random” because he fell off the radar, the map and just about every roster in the League.  But now, he’s back.  I’m feeling it.

Sitting, waiting, wishing.

Alex was drafted 12th overall in ’98 and played6 effing awesome seasons in Colorado, scoring as many as 79 points and winning the Cup in 2001.  He went to Calgary in ’06, rocked out one 85-point season and then dropped to (a totally respectable) 62 points the next year.  Alex waived his no-trade clause in ’08 – in hindsight a TERRIBLE idea – and was dealt to Montreal.  A shoulder injury and unimpressive season later, he went to Tampa Bay where last season was plagued by dismal production and lingering injuries.

"I miss Foppa."

So what was Calgary thinking taking Alex back?  They gave him a 1-year, $1.7 million deal and everyone flipped their toque about it.  The pressure is on.  If Alex can get back into the swing alongisde Jarome Iginla and Olli Jokinien, they’ll be calling this the steal of the century.  In the Flames first intrasquad game, Alex got a goal and two assists – that’s a point for every goal of that game.  Alex is a passer.  He can score (career high 33 goals in ’01, all the way to the Cup), but he been the setup man for some ridiculous goal scorers, like Peter Forsberg and Milan Hejduk.  Just typing their names in the same sentence gives me goosebumps!  Not to mention Iginla, a 50-goal scorer who definitely has it in him to repeat.

I feel like I grew up with Alex, who is now married with a daughter.  I once had a custom-made shirt that just said TANGUAY on the front and a battle royale with my mom when she lost it in the laundry.  My old Jetta had an Avs sticker on the bumper and my dad and I drove from LA to Colorado so we could go to a game, then Alex was injured and the Avs lost like 25-2.  That same car broke down on the way to see the Flames @ Sharks in ’07,  I’m really trying here, people!

So I’m going to reach out there and lay it down:  Alex Tanguay is back.  Alex Tanguay can produce.  He can stop breaking my heart by looking so sad in a Lightning uniform and start being happy enough to get caught on camera singing to David Cassidy:

Mike Green Paid For This

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

I just laughed so hard at my desk that my intern came in to see if I was crying.  Mariah Carey?  Mike Green, you are too much.

Chuck had a brilliant idea: Mikey Mondays! I will see her blatant attempt to restrict my ramblings to one day a week and raise her with another edition of:

Mike Green Paid for This – Episode 2: Mike’s Lamborghini

Remember the scene in Batman Forever where Chris O’Donnell’s Robin goes joyriding in the Batmobile?  When he pulls up to some girls and says, “Wanna go for a ride in my love machine, baby?”  Well that is really happening here.


No skates in the car.

Elephant in the room much?  I can’t not do a post about Greener’s most ostentatious possession: a white 2006 Lamborghini Gallardo.  It’s too obvious.  It cost about $150k and I bet it plays “Smack That” by Akon every time you turn it on (totes a custom upgrade).  You are not allowed to eat drive-thru in Mike’s car, nor are you allowed to touch his stereo.  Because he is, in all seriousness, listening to Mariah Carey:

He loves to sing along.

The NHL Network did this “Day in the Life” segment where Mike rocks his accent and drives past the White House on his way to work. So anyone thinking about stalking him by following the unmissable car home from the Verizon Center (no Chuck, I am NOT) should choose another ambush location.  Wait, does the Secret Service protect Canadians?  Anyway, the Cribs clip shows just about everything but his house number, so he’s pretty much home right now waiting for you to come over with a pizza and beer.  Extra pepperoni.

Mike lives across from this charming vacant lot.

I’m struck by both the urge to laugh and to lay across the hood in my bathing suit.  There are not many guys who can pull off a Lambo, and even those who can really shouldn’t.  I’m not sure which category Mike falls into yet.  (I’m treading lightly here because Marc-Andre Fleury also has a Lambo and if you make fun of him, I’ll beat you with a blocker.)

Mike, that's my jacket. Seriously.

What do you think – hot or not?  Overcompensation?  Would you rather come across Mike driving his Escalade or Bentley?  Personally, I think if you’re gonna go for it, go all out.  Then get sponsored by GEICO just in case something happens to your dream machine.

Poor Mikka, hung out to dry again?

- Posted in Randomness

 

God bless his clueless gaping ...

Calgary picks up a giant for back -up but can he net-mind? A 26 year-old with no NHL experience? Seriously? With Antti Niemi and Marty Turco floating around and Calgary goes to Sweden to find a no-name giant with no experience for poor Mikka who has been Calgary’s work-horse for years? This will be his tenth back-up. This is not a third-times-a-charm situation. This is almost, and I do mean, ALMOST as tragic as re-hiring that useless excuse for a center – and this time I’m not talking about Sidney Crosby – HA! – Ollie Jokin-ing (typo stays).

Um ... yeah.

Hey Calgary, I pet sit for a cat who is probably a better back-up goal tender than this guy and he comes really cheap! You just throw dry kibble at him and he’s total gold!

Everybody into the pool!

- Posted in Newsies

Training camps opened Friday and over the weekend a lot of people (who weren’t me) got to see some pre-season hockey.  It looks like the Blackhawks had the most fun, as the Champs should, by hosting their annual Training Camp Festival including… wait for it… a rollerblading race!  Mr. Pants is very jealous because he thinks he’s French and it’s 1994.

Easier than ice skating?

The Penguins unveiled some prospective line combinations, including Evgeni Malkin at right wing next to Mr. Hillary Duff, with Eric Tangradi on the left.  It was also announced that Malkin will be talking more with the media this season, and in this video his English has improved a ton.  He even smiles, instead of looking vaguely terrified.  Of course, it means he’ll have to answer questions if his productivity does pickup stat.  (Helpful hint: Don’t Google Malkin.  There’s a photo of him tongue-kissing some girl that no one should ever have to see.)

Geno on the mic.

The Canucks, who still don’t have a captain, presented an episode of WUYS’s favorite show: I Should Have Been a Trainer.

Drop and give us...

The Phoenix Coyotes took two pages from a politician’s handbook – they hosted a Town Hall-style meeting and they said nothing.  According to their COO, a potential new owner is sniffing around with “money on the table” to keep the team in AZ.  So say we all.  Thanks for the Coyotes for the best countdown clock in the league.

Tik tok, on the clock, DJ turn this party up tonight...

Kari Lehtonen debuted the coolest goalie mask in the history of time – the Chuck Norris edition.  Mr. Pants agrees.

Insert 'Walker, Texas Ranger' joke here.

In other clips from camps:

  • Lightning coach Guy Boucher’s scar is still really scary, like the one Mark Hamill is covering with that beard in Empire Strikes Back.
  • The Islanders have a mascot (I did not know this).  What the eff does Sparky the Dragon have to do with Long Island?
  • Hollywood loves the St. Louis Blues – John Hamm talked about his team during The Town junket and in the trailer for Life as We Know It, Josh Duhamel is wearing a Blues hat.
  • The Canadiens are looking for an host for their live in-game promotions.  Too bad all the French I can remember is the “Je Suis un Pizza” song and how to say [CENSORED] in case I ever meet Max Talbot.

Just because we don't have an NHL team in Seattle…

- Posted in Randomness

Ah … NO!

It's Foxy Friday and Happy Birthday Alexander Ovechkin!

- Posted in Randomness

Almost his birthday suit!

Where do I begin to tell the story (cue theme from LOVE STORY) … It was 25 years ago today the world was blessed with the mega-talent of Alexander  – Ovi – as his teammates affectionately refer to him. I am not going to list his achievements because you can go look them up.

sigh ..

I will say, or rant, however, that his only sin, (ah – besides being freakin’ smokin’ drop-dead sizzlin’ hot but that’s OK with me! Don’t vomit Pants.) if you can call it that, is being born in Russia. Because if he was born in the other frozen tundra called Canada, there would be no rivalry between him and Sidney Crosby.  Crosby would be a foot note in hockey history and Ovechkin would be the second coming of the Great One. Yes, I went there AND sent a postcard!

The other kids are just jealous of his talent – Max Talbot! I argue with my Hockey Husband Don about this all the time because when he’s not ranting about Alex on Hockey Night in Canada, he’s ranting about Alex on Hockey Night in Canada. But Don’s jealous (Max Talbot!) because I hear him scream Alex’s name at night, and it ain’t like he’s coaching him on the ice, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!

Ovi has brought excitement back to the game old-school style and it’s what’s been missing. He finishes his checks, he plays hard, he’s as excited for his teammates who make goals as he is for himself; he makes no apologies for his game – good or bad (Max Talbot!).

So happy birthday Sasha and a Foxy Friday salute to my smokin’ hot Russian Bear.

See ya in San Jose! I’ll be the one with the “Ovi 8 MY HEART” sign ….

Ya lublu tebya, lyubimaya moya!

Horton Hears…a Who's That Guy?

- Posted in Chuck Loves

Hi all, Chuck here.

So with the start of the season only a few weeks away (cue our Balki Bartokimus-style “Dance of Joy”), I thought it would be apropos to talk a little bit about my favorite team, the good ‘ol Big, Bad, Black and Gold – the Boston Bruins.

The last few seasons for us have been less than stellar.  Sure we make it to the playoffs, only to get pummeled by the Philadelphia Flyers and Scott Hartnell’s hair last year and the gut-wrenching overtime loss to the Hartford Whalers Caroline Hurricanes the year before, the start of a new season always brings the promise of that perfectly played season that ends with the Czech Giant, Zdeno Chara, lifting the cup 10 feet above his head and skating around the Garden in two strides.  (In case you haven’t heard, dude is mad tall.)

Some in Boston claim that #1 Draft pick Tyler Seguin might be our savior, our Sidney Crosby, you might say, but I’m more excited about Nathan Horton.   Who? Tim Horton, the Canadian Coffee Guy?

Who wants a donut, eh?

No, not him.  This guy…

Nobody is this happy playing hockey in Florida.

Never heard of him?  Me neither.  Not until he came to the Bruins in an off-season trade for defenceman Dennis Wideman and a draft pick.

So who is this guy?

Nathan Horton.  Right Wing.  Born May 29, 1985.  6’2″, 229 lbs. (read: Beast).  Married to Playboy model (of course), who also happens to be the great-niece of Jacques Plante.  Drafted #3 Overall in 2003, at the ripe ol’ age of 18 and was part of the stellar class that year, which included Marc Andre Fleury, Eric Staal, Thomas Vanek, Zach Parise, and Jeff Carter.  Career-high goals: 31.  Total goals: 142.

Word around town is that he’ll be on a line with my Marc (Savard), so the prospect of him scoring 30 or more goals this season is a definite possibility.  Savard loves passing pucks like a fat kid loves eating cake.  Bruins have been dying for a finisher ever since Phil Kessel left and me thinks that this Horton guy and his nasty wrist shot might be it.  Granted this all remains to be seen, I mean there is a whole season to play, but the prospect has me all googily-eyed and optimistic.

Until next time, WUYSers!

Chuck. Out.

In today’s top stories…

- Posted in Newsies

Here at WUYS, we delight in carrying the banner for you.  While wearing short pants and jaunty caps, perhaps with a choreographed dance routine (remixed to Lady Gaga?)  From the Morning News Desk:  T-minus 3 weeks until the season starts!

1) Penguin’s forward Jordan Staal will miss the start of the regular season after another surgery to clear up the infection in his foot. Listen Gronk, get back in the lineup by November 5 because I am not flying to Anaheim just to look at Crosby.  I paid a whole 5,000 Virgin America miles for this 1-hour trip, so I’m really doing my part.  Meet me halfway.  (Just in case you’re not better, I do have an extra ticket.  Because sitting in the box is boring.)

2) Rumors abound that Brian Gionta will be named Montreal Canadiens captain during training camp.  All together now: “BOOOOOOO.”  Even being from Upstate NY is not enough to make up for going to Boston College.

3) My 3rd favorite Staal, Marc, got a 5 year contract with the Rangers.  More on why this is important (to me) later.

4)  Phoenix’s Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette debuted his Asian Reference Roulette on Twitter.  He took a Korean girl on a date, then made a sushi comment and a won ton joke.  I bet his favorite part of Rush Hour 3 is when Chris Tucker tells Jackie Chan, “All y’all look alike!”  The only thing better than his Tourette Syndrome is his spelling – he reported that no “wahn tahn panty soup” was made.  Then he posted the girl’s Twitter and asked everyone to follow her, but make no Asian jokes.  This guy is GOLD.

5) Finally, Ovechkin took the ice for the first time with the Caps this season, then talked about it.  Basically he partied every night, all summer, and still plans to dominate the NHL with a single massive paw.  If you’re lucky, you get the Caps Convention promo with Varlamov cackling at the start of the video.  Over to you, Dawn.

BONUS) Mike Green video! I haven’t watched it yet – but he’s wearing a gold chain.  What’s NOT to like about this guy?!

More notes: Ottawa will host the 2012 All-Star Game, Bobby Ryan got a 5-year deal with the Ducks, San Jose Sharks pre-sale tickets available today (code: TWSHK).

NHL Tuesday Night in NYC

- Posted in Pants Loves

While Dawn Cherrie and I were on a double date last night with Mike Green and Ovie, the rest of the NHL’s top 20 stars partied with Graydon Carter and the fancypants folks at Vanity Fair.  Well, fancy-ish.  Guests included “actor” Tom Cavanaugh and Olympic ice skater Evan Lysacek.  It kills me that we’re not famous, because NHL events get the lamest D-list celebrity turnouts ever.  I like Tom Cavanaugh, but if you have to say “actor” in front of someone’s name, then the title is questionable at best.  Like if you have “Bootylicious ” written on the ass of your sweatpants.  Just as the NHL Awards were a parade of “It’s that guy from that thing!” and “Is Smallville still on TV?”, this Vanity Fair party seems to have been solely bolstered by Carter’s Canadian-ness.  And for that, we thank him.

Zach Parise is so cute.

The rest of the NHL Media Tour crew was there, including Malkin, Toews, Kaner and my second-favorite Staal, Eric.  We bet Kane’s the only one who had any fun, hopefully joyriding around NYC in Lundqvist’s special edition bus.  After Ovie ditched me and Mike Green (apparently not on the guest list), he graced the party with his presence.  In a t-shirt.

Sid and Ovie did a photo shoot for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair.  If you listen closely, you’ll hear a lot of screaming between Seattle (Dawn) and San Francisco (Pants).  There’s plenty of video and photo content of yesterday’s media tour at NHL.com, including Dion Phanuef talking about what makeup he likes to wear and EStaal talking about his butt.  Quality.

Before the party, Dawn and I let Mike Green and Ovie take us to a Russian restaurant.  Except they sat next to each other, so maybe we should be worried?  Dawn took this photo with her decoder ring camera, so as not to appear all fangirl in the moment, then ran to the bathroom and totally spazzed out.  Ovie had 11 shots of vodka and asked to borrow Mike’s Lamborghini.  I pretended to know what borscht was and tried not to think about Mike’s bathroom.  I’m pretty sure Mike was thinking about Mike.  As usual.

I would only eat borscht for Mike Green.

(Photo from @washcaps, which I think must be run by a girl because it’s pretty awesome.)