In today’s top stories…

Here at WUYS, we delight in carrying the banner for you.  While wearing short pants and jaunty caps, perhaps with a choreographed dance routine (remixed to Lady Gaga?)  From the Morning News Desk:  T-minus 3 weeks until the season starts!

1) Penguin’s forward Jordan Staal will miss the start of the regular season after another surgery to clear up the infection in his foot. Listen Gronk, get back in the lineup by November 5 because I am not flying to Anaheim just to look at Crosby.  I paid a whole 5,000 Virgin America miles for this 1-hour trip, so I’m really doing my part.  Meet me halfway.  (Just in case you’re not better, I do have an extra ticket.  Because sitting in the box is boring.)

2) Rumors abound that Brian Gionta will be named Montreal Canadiens captain during training camp.  All together now: “BOOOOOOO.”  Even being from Upstate NY is not enough to make up for going to Boston College.

3) My 3rd favorite Staal, Marc, got a 5 year contract with the Rangers.  More on why this is important (to me) later.

4)  Phoenix’s Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette debuted his Asian Reference Roulette on Twitter.  He took a Korean girl on a date, then made a sushi comment and a won ton joke.  I bet his favorite part of Rush Hour 3 is when Chris Tucker tells Jackie Chan, “All y’all look alike!”  The only thing better than his Tourette Syndrome is his spelling – he reported that no “wahn tahn panty soup” was made.  Then he posted the girl’s Twitter and asked everyone to follow her, but make no Asian jokes.  This guy is GOLD.

5) Finally, Ovechkin took the ice for the first time with the Caps this season, then talked about it.  Basically he partied every night, all summer, and still plans to dominate the NHL with a single massive paw.  If you’re lucky, you get the Caps Convention promo with Varlamov cackling at the start of the video.  Over to you, Dawn.

BONUS) Mike Green video! I haven’t watched it yet – but he’s wearing a gold chain.  What’s NOT to like about this guy?!

More notes: Ottawa will host the 2012 All-Star Game, Bobby Ryan got a 5-year deal with the Ducks, San Jose Sharks pre-sale tickets available today (code: TWSHK).

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  1. Chuck79 Reply

    If Gionta is named Captain of the Canadiens, CI will fly up to Montreal and hurl insults about his short stature with such venom and fury that we may have to call his wife to go bail him out of jail.