Power Outage

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, I'm Always Right, Playoffs

2 for 41.

In 12 NHL playoff games, the Bruins power play has been abysmal.  Horrid.  Embarrassing.

2 for 41.

Seriously, it’s not funny. Chuck is not laughing.

After the Bruins dropped Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals on Saturday, I’m puzzled.  Perplexed.  Flummoxed.

What exactly is Coach Claude was working on in practice?

"Ya, see that net there? Whatever you do, DON'T go there. You hear me? Do not go to the net."

They had 8 days to work on this disastrous aspect of their game.  Surely, you’d think that they stop practicing that rush-in-the-offensive-zone-then-skid-to-a-stop-at-the-top-of-the-circle move that they love so well (I’m looking at you, Brad Marchand), and work on the power play.  By no means do I claim to be an expert in these things, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to score when you have an extra guy on the ice.  5 > 4.

Why are the Bruins just passing the puck back and forth on the power play?  Point-point-hash-point-hash-other hash-point.  Boring and ineffective.

How about getting some guys in front of the net? Plant Lucic and/or Chara in front of Roloson.  Try to see the puck with those beasts standing in front of you.  If he can’t see it, he can’t save it.  Very simple concept, no?

Put SeguinPenguin on the PP.  Please.  Just once.  Give it a shot, Claude.  Throw caution to the wind!  Be a wild and crazy guy.

If it works out, you’ll be hailed as a genius and babies all over Boston will be named in your honor.  If it doesn’t, well, you can chalk it up to trying to give your team the best chance of winning.

Hockey Baby Love.

Bruins were trotting out Recchi and Ryder out there, and while they’re obviously skilled, they ain’t spring chickens.  Seguin has an excitement, a youthful exuberance, a fluffy puppy mentality that could make him dangerous with the man advantage.  He so happy to be playing in the NHL Playoffs, he’ll do what ever you want.  He’s obvious has the skill to be playing at this level (see video below), so why not give him the chance to make a little magic?

Also, why do you sit him for 15 minutes after he scores a goal for you?  Get him out there!  Maybe he’ll score a few more for you.

Yes, I am a Seguinista, if you haven’t noticed.

Admit it. Now you are too.

On the other hand, maybe it is not all that simple as we all make it out to be.  I’m not a fly on the wall of the Bruins locker room or practice rink (but what I’d give if I could), so I don’t pretend to know what conversations Claude, Cam Neely, and Peter Chiarelli have had or the inner working of a NHL club.  But without Savard (*sniff*) and Bergeron, the Bruins are lacking and they need to do something about it stat.

If we don’t, you can kiss a shot at the shiny silver cup buh-bye.  Stammer, Squishy, Roli, Lecavalier, and Finnish Finisher, Sean Bergenheim will snatch it right up from under you.

Intern Birthday Party!

- Posted in All Star Game, Intern Jeff Skinner, We Love

Happy Birthday, Intern Jeff Skinner!  Instead of having you write your own birthday post, we wanted to make sure you feel completely appreciated by the girls of WUYS.  You are the best (um, only) intern we’ve ever had and while we don’t have to pay you, we can take a moment to remember the highlights of your season with us:

Your first day at WUYS (seven months ago):

That time you believed “media training” meant letting Pants and Chuck cut your hair:

That time Dawn asked you what Kris Letang wore under his gear at the ASG:

That time you charmed the entire world into asking you to the prom (even if Cassy had to windsor your tie).  SWAG:

That time everyone loved you, and you realized WUYS might be on to something here:

That time you scored a ton of goals, were generally incredible and still looked this excited every single time:

Your birthday party starts at 4 PM in the conference room.  Just as well you’re 19, we’ve got Mexi-Colas and Whatchamacallit bars for everyone.  Eric and Cam have RSVP’d and well, then we didn’t bother inviting anyone else.  Best party ever!

Offical Uniform of WUYS

- Posted in Well OBVIOUSLY.

Nicky, your shirt.  I can’t even.

Goes Together Like…

- Posted in Dawn Loves

When I see this commerical, I think of Dawn, Ke$ha and TBG Drew Doughty.

Let it Out.

- Posted in Randomness

I can’t stop laughing.  Someone sent me this because I said I’d never heard Sasha Fierce speak a word – and he actaully speaks English in this video.  But the show is stolen by Ovi’s maniac roller coaster screaming… man, if you could gif a noise this would be the best.  Start at the 1 minute mark.

Sorry for the double-Ovi today but Sasha!! Giggles!

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You.

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire

And it’s not even summer yet! Ovi has already started taking his shirt off! Can I say thank god? THANK GOD! He hasn’t even started his summer vacation and he’s already stripping for rubles …or medals I should say. Russia lost to Finland in the World Cup so now they are playing for a Bronze. But who cares if photos like these keep coming!

ah ... over here a little more ....

no, down... down .... a little over, now up.... up ... there.

It's On!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Playoffs

Now that you won’t be able to get this song out of your head, it’s the battle of the Super Twins, Count Von Count-anyone-can-do-this-job VS. Jumbo Scrimp (Oxy-Maroon), I’m-still -Cryin’ Patty Mar-where’s-the-loo and Logan Haute-Couture. Who will win the West-Coast Battle for the Cup? I called Vancouver in the Wayback Machine.

capt vs capt (i think it's henrik - who knows for sure!)

On the East Coast we got the Not-so-Jolly-Yellow-Giant Chara, Sir Thomas-the-Tank-Engine and i-blow-pucks-out-my-ass-for-goals-bergeron VS stampeding Stammers, Little-Man Louis and Bat-shit-crazy-face-sort-of-hot-in-a-weird-way-guy-the-butcher. I called neither of these and would have never dreamed of either of these but in reverse psychology and covering my bases. I’m going with Tampa Bay and if they win, I’ll be glad and say I called it. If they lose, I’ll say I helped Boston because every team I pick, loses! So either way, I’m covered! Sound practice!

Back in da day: Timmy and Martin

- Posted in College Hockey, Playoffs, Randomness, We Love

We present to you Timmy “The Tank” Thomas and Martin “Squishy” St. Louis, circa 1996…

Baby TIMMAY!

Baby SQUISHY!

BABY HOCKEY PLAYERS!! Watch the awesome video, complete with stellar 90’s soundtrack!

In 1996, Pants and I were juniors in high school.  She had a curly afro and I had reaaaally long hair and wore Doc Martens.

In 1996, the Tank and Squishy were teammates on the Vermont Catamounts’ hockey team.  Who knew that 15 years later, they’d be facing each other for a chance to play in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Certainly not them.  We’re thinking they were more worried that they ran out of Ben and Jerry’s and that they couldn’t find their favorite flannel shirt.  Let’s be realistic here, people.  It is Vermont, after all.

Should be interesting to watch them when the Eastern Conference Finals start up tomorrow.  Think they’ll meet up at center ice during warm ups for a chat?

Or will it be this instead?

*facepalm*

Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Newsies, Playoffs

I leave the Bay Area and NOW YOU WIN!?!?!  If my other teams were in it I’d be so mad at you.  But beggars can’t be choosers and you guys let us drink on Caltrain so… YAY SHARKS.  I hug you!

Not only did you beat Detroit (insert me making siren noise here), but you managed not to fall apart like a house of cards.  I mean, you came close.  Really close.  I had to angle away from the TV and pretend to Tweet because I knew the minute I looked, disaster would strike.  I might have peeked but I didn’t watch until the announcers were screaming too.

Gator’s really bummed about the Red Wings.  I might have to buy her Chicken McNuggets for lunch (extra ketchup).  Maybe she’ll feel better after reading this.  But now she’s just like me and Dawn, without her top team(s) and choosing sides based on beards and bus stops and the perfect teal nail polish.

Hey Wings, U MAD?!

Oh, in case you forgot what I was thinking for a second…

ROML FTW!

So we’re down to the Final Four.  How are we doing on predictions?  We had the Bruins, Canucks and Sharks getting out of the first round, and the Bruins and Canucks from the second.  Bonus of the Sharks.  No one had the Bolts because I would have kicked them in R1 and Dawn would have scratched them in R2.  Now anyone who wants to root for TB can take on Chuck.

Not good enough! Om nom nom!

PS: Gator is rooting for TB.  I will sit quietly on my hands and try not to cheer for anyone in that series.  Chuck roots for my teams when she can, I shall root for hers.  And Steven.  There, I said it!

Tonight, Tonight!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Playoffs, Randomness

It’s Detroit Rock City VS the Sharks … And we shall see who will be, wait for it… wait for it …Yes, I went there!

I gotta dance!

STAY IN’ ALIVE!

Darth Vader + Hockey

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Randomness, We Love

If you haven’t noticed by now, Pants and I are sorta nerds...but in the best way possible.

So when I saw this photo on my Thrillist email today, I just about died.  Check out Vader’s helmet.

"Toews....I am your father."

Artwork by Tyler Edlin – www.tyleredlinart.com 

Pants, I was going to get you a toaster oven for your wedding but now I many have to reconsider….

Save the Last Dance

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Who’s excited for tonight?  Nervous?

On Monday, Rookie of My Life Logan Couture posted this.  It made me all teary-eyed like that Green Day “Time of Your Life” song.  Not that 19 years is a long time in the hockey world.  Or that you’d rather play 7 than win in 4.  But way to be optimistic, LC.

I don’t know what to say about the Red Wings except they are about the last team I’d want to face in an elimination game.  Or in the playoffs at all.  They’re just a huge pile of awesome that sits around thinking up ways to skip school so they can kick your ass.

The Sharks will have to come up big tonight, but I think they can do it.  Remember they won 5 OT games in a row these playoffs… that’s grit.

We know Chuck will be pulling for Jumbo Joe.  She’s seriously been on that kick since 1997 and it’s about time Thornton returned the favor.  Between Joey and the Bruins both still in the post-season, Chuck is having all the luck this year while I sit on the back nine with Toews, Fleury and Brooks Laich trying to make par.

If you're looking for…

- Posted in Pants Loves

In the first 9 hours of today, two people found this site by searching “making fun of Mike Green.”  We would never do that!

Only kidding.  We loves you.

Off-Season Projects

- Posted in Off-Season Projects, We Love

#1: Build the new WUYS home office

Left to right: Geno, Sid, JStaaaaal, Ovi, Fidget.  We know what you’re thinking.  And we know Mikey loves Diet Coke.

Going All The Way

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

So this happened last night.  And if you expected something else, you must be new around here.

Gator was particularly excited, and posted a photo of an Ice Girl picking up an octopus on my door this morning.  She had faith.  And we’re ready for Thursday’s Game 7.  I want to rock my Sharks jersey (from free jersey night) but since all my teams lose, perhaps I should sit quietly in a corner.

On the bright side, the NHL posted the Conference Final Schedule scenarios so we can plan the next two weeks of our lives:

In an effort to distract Gator from the Red Wings, Stammer showed off his beard and excitement to get back on the ice [video].  Between him and Gator they’ve used all the SPF 50 in Florida.

Meanwhile in Boston, Professor Bergeron is “feeling better” but definitely has concussion symptoms.  Saturday is still a ways off and Chuck is throwing dollars into that wishing well.  With so much momentum between these two teams at the end of Round 2, who do you think comes out strongest after the break?

I think it all comes down to TIMMAAAAAY. [video]  Can the Bolts beat him, or will he beat them?  He won’t let Chuck and Cassy down.  But will it be enough?

One for the Road

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

These Capitals Exit Interviews are depressing, but if you’re feeling crappy today (I am) it kind of captures the mood.

Nicky brushed his hair and everything [video].  His ESL sounds extra-sad.  Why does he like the Braves?  Did he have TBS as a kid?

Mike, let the facial hair go [video].  Fidget is in full effect here; poor guy is really uncomfortable.

Ovi has a few smiles, but that gash looks painful [video].

There are a few others – iCarly, Jason Arnott, BB… save them for a rainy day.  There will be a lot of pressure this season to make changes in DC, so consider this the calm before the potential storm.

RIP: Webeard

- Posted in Playoffs, We Love, We're Mental

RIP, Shea Weber’s beard, aka Webeard.

We’re gonna miss ya, buddy.

*poursoneoutforherhomey*


Battle of the Foxy Fridays...and their facial hair.

Wake Me Up When…

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

What do you guys want to talk about today?

The Canucks win.  Somewhere Shea Weber’s beard defeats all attempts to be removed.  That thing had a building permit and poured a foundation, it’s going to be a hot summer in wherever Shea is from.  Ryan Kessler ditches the secret identity ruse and goes full-on super hero.  DUH.

Fear that Beard.

San Jose drops another one to the Wings.  It’s okay, no one is watching.  There’s plenty of other stuff going on to distract everyone while you play game 6 tonight.

Hangover II

The Bruins/Lightning series is not yet scheduled.  They’ve all gotten advance degrees in thumb-twiddling during the break.  Seriously San Jose, no one is waiting for you to finish.  Take your time.

Sitting, waiting, wishing...

But this is hardly news and frankly, quite boring.  So today, this instead.

GOATS!

Because history doesn't let history repeat.

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Playoffs, We Believe, We Love

I love you, Boston Bruins.

The Beard is Here

- Posted in Playoffs, We Love

Game 6 in Nashville is tonight after the Preds dropped the Red Wings 4-3 over the weekend.  In a related story, it’s a good thing the Preds fly charter because I’m not sure this beard would pass airport security:

With glasses?  Please stop.  He’s making a bid to be Mike Green’s Sensitive New Age Defenseman (SNAD) partner.  He looks like he has one last paper to finish before he can graduate with that degree in Dead Languages.  Either that or he’s on the lam after robbing a bank and attempting to fool facial recognition software.