A bromance is born - True THAT! I told you - EVERY ONE loves Ovi.
This Photo Needs No Words.
I Said This How Many Weeks Ago – Drew?
I need my West Coast honey … You turned down a rumored 9 years /61.2 million. That would buy you a Krispy Kreme Franchise! OK – Tim Hortons – you could re-name it Doughty’s Donut Holes. I don’t care. Just sign. I know you don’t want to be tied down, well, not in that sense, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, my little hip shaker! But why all that training and diet coke drinking over the summer if you aren’t planning on playing? So please, I’m waiting for you to fill my cream puff – NOW. TYVM.
Tazer Coming Through
I shouldn’t be laughing! Bad Pants! This kid is really selling it though.
Quick, someone else fall down and need a hug.
Mikey Monday: SOLD
Sorry I’m late! Jeez, Mondays are tough. This is a special edition for Elisha!
Today at Rookie Camp, Caps prospect Garret Mitchell did an interview [link]. Strangely no one asks him if he’s willing to be MG52’s stunt double and understudy. He’s clearly trying to make the team by emulating someone.
But let’s be honest, you’re gonna have to work pretty hard to be this.
I don’t know why his shirt is wet or who this lucky woman is. This is from some real estate company’s website (courtesy of exhaustive 3 second Google search – larger version here) circa July 2008. I’m pretty sure whatever he was buying, he got it for free.
Fantasy Draft Day: Sort of like the NHL's…but not…
The start of the inaugural season of WUYS Fantasy Hockey league is right around the corner, so you know what that means….
DRAFT DAY!
As much as we would LOVE to hold our very own Combine (Running! Jumping! Flexing!) and rent out an arena in which to hold said draft, we just can’t. WUYS doesn’t actually make any money (yet).
So to help you create your ultimate fantasy hockey team, I put together a listing of my top 75 players fantasy players, based a number of statistical categories.
While I was tempted to take into consideration the statistics of foxiness, awesome hockey hair, and hug-ability when compiling these rankings, I decided just to go with the good old-fashioned stats.
Pants wanted me to add a category for squatting ability and derpness…but I had to veto that.
I am the Commish, after all. I have the power.
Before drafting your players keep in mind that our league is a “Head to Head – Points” league. This means that teams are matched up weekly and each manager tries to accumulate the most points from each statistical category. In our league, points will be earned as follows:
Forwards/Defencemen Stats
- Goals (G) = 3 pts
- Assists (A) = 2 pts
- Plus/Minus (+/-) = 1 pt
- Penalty Minutes (PIM) = 0.5 pt
- Powerplay Points (PPP) = 1 pt
- Shots on Goal (SOG) = 0.4 pt
Goaltending Stats
- Wins (W) = 4 pts
- Goals Against (GA) = -1 pt
Each team will consist of 2 centers, 2 right wings, 2 left wings, 4 defencemen, 2 goalies, and 4 bench players (from any position).
For those of you who are new to fantasy hockey, you can use the list below to help you decided which players you want to draft. But you don’t have to. You can pick whom ever you want. Full list of all players available for the draft can be found at http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/1325/draftanalysis
The teams are set.
Bieksa’s Got Back. Gator Goldfish. Joey the Jr. Reporter. Shut Your Five Hole. Don’t Toews Me!. I Laich It Hot. El Coop. I Like ‘Em Skinner. Easy Being Greener. Dave’s a KILLER!.
10 teams will enter…but only one will get Toews.
We said COME IN!
The rest of the Pens also participated in season ticket delivery – but none appear to have eaten a cookie. If only they’d known Crosby said it was okay!
Check out Jordan’s goober wave as he approaches the first house. [link]
And the tween girls who get their picture with him. Their lives just peaked.
Flower was out delivering tickets too. Check out this kid – he knows exactly how you feel! [link]
We would have asked him to spin like a ballerina.
Geno barely fits through the door on most normal houses [link]. And those sunglasses merit a post of their own.
That’s it for videos, but there are photos [link]. This one resulted in someone screaming, “James Neal come to my house!!!” Really, I have no idea who it was.
And this girl is our hero. She is *barely* holding it together.
Keep holding out for next season, everyone. Cookies at the ready.
Crosby Eats a Cookie
Every year this happens, and it isn’t to me.
Of course if he came to my house, Mr. Pants would open the door in a Caps shirt (or better, my girl-sized Crosby jersey). There would be banging and scuffling from the closet. They would pretend to ignore it until the muffled sounds of ‘O Canada’ could be heard. Season ticket delivery turns into an episode of Law & Order.
They never send Sid to a house with women under the age of 40. Max used to get all of those – remember his pimp shoes last season? I miss him already. Instead Crosby charms children and wonders why this guy is wearing a Staal shirt.
In this video, Sid goes crazy and eats a cookie. That’s probably the most fun he’s had all summer! And now we’ll all leave cookies out every night like we do for Santa. (There’s no way Sid’s fitting that ass down a chimney.)
Okay, see it for yourselves. And make sure your house is clean. [link]
BizNasty Is At It Again.
leave it to the Biz...
Coming from a man whose twitter photo is posing with Tony the Tiger? Really? I’m sure this will be settled on the ice. Oh, if Biz ever get’s any ice time.
OK – This Made Even Me Laugh.
And I don’t like San Jose but they have an AWESOME PR team who makes these OUTRAGEOUSLY funny campaigns. Let the ad wars begin. This one’s for you Pants since you love Logan – post-rookie of your life.
Speaking of Capt. Awesome.
not looking at the hockey stick here.
Ovi crashed the Caps rookie camp yesterday and skated with the newbies! He sported the fashionable black jersey with his named slapped on the back and skated along with all the other young bucks.
For being slagged as not so hands on (I protest & wish!) and for supposedly not being in shape – so not so – he seemed to not only keep pace with the teenagers, and yes, I said teenagers, at 25, eh hem, soon to be 26 – VERY SOON – to be 26. That would make some of them almost half his age! OMG. He’s an old man in hockey years! Get the cane out ladies! Can you believe that?
The kids had a great first day at school and learned from the best. And a tale to tell years from now! My first day at rookie camp I got to skate with Ovechkin!
I’d be more like, my first day at rookie camp, I got to shower with Ovechkin and well it would be nothing like Pant’s dream and there would be no laughing involved. I hope you ate you lunch already Pants!
And just so you know ladies, he told everyone during his Bauer press conference, in case you missed it, HIS BODY IS PERFECT. So no worries about him being fat. And I have to agree. Not that I’m biased or anything.
Wake Up, Wake Up!
Last night, Dawn mastered the art of Inception and messed with my dreams.
First, I dreamed that I had a baby. With Ovechkin.
Luckily the dream started immediately post-delivery – dreaming the baby-making or the delivery would have woken me screaming. But Ovi was really sweet (Stop it, Dawn!) and even though we weren’t married, he wanted to baby to have his name. Apparently we didn’t have much of a game plan, because we talked about this while driving home from the hospital. In the car we decided to name the little girl Evelyn. So they could be Evi and Ovi.
Even asleep, I crack myself up.
Nice try Dawn, but my brain will resist you! (I admit, this is a nice picture.)
START THIS DAMNED SEASON, ALREADY. I’m going crazy.
Then I woke up, bewildered and laughing, and went back to sleep. Only to dream that we were all at my wedding reception, eating of course, and there was a TV on. Mike Green came on an infomercial for – I couldn’t make this up – men’s hair color. The sound was off and I was freaking out for someone to turn it on or DVR it. Every single person had a remote and zero people could work it. Bride-zilla.
Freaking weird.
That is no hair color magic.
The good news is, I still don’t like Ovechkin. And any future kids with Mr. Pants will be waaaaay cuter and obviously Pens fans. I don’t think Mike’s into the Just for Men yet either. So, is it October yet?
Baby, We Laich It.
Deb submitted this video with the Tweet “Brooks Laich showing Tanger up in the workout department.”
Ladies, discuss.
My first thought was, “Ha ha (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh), they said ‘lower body’.” Then (out loud), “Stop, you’re hurting my knees!” and then “Why are you wearing a life preserver?” It is, of course, a weight vest. Which I’d never heard of before these workout videos starting popping up.
Since Mikey did a workout vid, Brooks has to do one. It’s part of the up-all-night girl talk agreements they made during that sleepover, after which Brooks made Mike cereal for breakfast. Mike was not impressed.
He makes a bid for All Time Squat Champion by doing them with skates on. I look away in fear. (My vote: Tazer still wears this crown.)
And in today’s episode of Cassy’s New Job – being this spotter person. Put on some Pitbull and let’s dance.
OH MY OKAY!! When you get to 2:16, Brooks wins. All in, he takes the pot. And he is not bluffing. See for yourselves:
I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Thanks Deb!” Or you will be when you regain consciousness.
Birthday Boy: Jordan Staal
It’s JStaal’s birthday! Jordan turns 17 today (okay 23). He got a birthday post last season, but we never get tired of this guy. And he knows it.
Last season, Jordan has some injury issues. He might be as clumsy as me and Chuck, but we’re not 6’4″ and don’t have quite so far to fall. After having a strong second half last year, Gronk is ready to get this party started.
Some of you (Dawn) didn’t like Jordan’s hair last season (Dawn) and tried to resist him. Even nicknamed him Trannysaurus Rex (Dawn).
The opinion of this Court is that you will not succeed. You will love him and his dinosaur roar when he scores copious goals this season. Just give up and come to the Gronk Side. Because resisting Jordan Staal is like:
What A Good Sport!
I swear before I saw the photo I thought this might have been Pants & Gator or Pants & her friend NY Ranger fan or Pants & Chuck or Chuck & a friend. Some combination above. And they were going to run 10 blocks to get me Ovi’s autograph and tell him how much I love him since I was stuck on the west coast. But then much to my disappointment – the reveal. They really were 15 and 16-year-old girls in NY Ranger jerseys.
Oh well. The story is totes adorbs. Ovi tweeted this:
I would have run 3,000 miles if he would have waited for me!
Everyone loves Ovi!
Amen Sister! You can’t mess with perfection. (thanks Pucky Daddy)
Dream Team
Just to give you guys an idea of what we’re missing:
Tazer with the open buttons all week and Steven with the hair.
Bring It On Home
Wishes really do come true! HBO’s 24/7 Penguins Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic is on pre-sale! Get it here [link] and use promo code HBO15 for 15% off. With shipping, it’s $21 and change.
DVDs will ship on November 15. You can spend Thanksgiving break reliving the mustaches, Vespas, elf costumes, MAF-bombs, Jordan Staal stair-climbing and nude-colored belts in all their glory.
Your Moment of Zen.
for all you capt. serious fans out there
-
- What a baby face.
He almost looks like Sasha Fierce above
MG52 with his niece. Are they at TGIFridays? Because is it yet?
i'll protect those, ah, assets - Kris.
oh how did I miss this one? new desk top back ground.
Henrik Lundqvist Loves Me
Tweets of the day…
I made Henrik Lundqvist giggle. For serious.
I might have even made him blush.
He’s totally in love with me.
I heart you, Chuck. Let's run away together. I'll get my overnight bag.
God, he’s attractive.
Killing us with those dimples.
And the hair…
Glorious.
Watch full video here – http://yfrog.com/0iu43z
ADDENDUM:
And then Pants and I have this conversation after she refers to HL30 as “a classy man-boy”
Pavol, We Loved Watching You.
Mr. Cherrie and I had the honor of attending the 2010 Olympics when they were a hop, skip and short drive from us. We didn’t have tickets to any of the men’s Ice Hockey games but the hockey gods smiled on us and dropped two front row seats to the Russia VS Slovakia game. And yes, we bought them at the box office.
I was this close!
We got a warm up puck and I banged on the glass at Pavol during the warm-ups because even though he played for Slovakia, I though he was hot. They won that night. A hard-fought game. They ended up coming in fourth in the Olympics. Quite a feat for a team that no one expected much from. A life and talent gone much too soon. You will all be missed.
NHL Media Tour Reception
It’s obviously a tough time for everyone in the wake of the KHL plane crash, and I think NHL.com did a nice job of highlighting last night’s Media Tour reception with a really toned-down video [link]. Kudos to them.
Squishy: "So they pose like this...." Shane: "No, the mannequin's hand is higher."
There are quick shots of Kaner, Ovi, Shane Doan, Squishy, Corey Perry, Logan Couture (short hair!) and his girlfriend and even Intern Jeff Skinner, who took our advice and wore short sleeves to show off his manly arms.
As usual though, Steven hogs the spotlight. The guy can’t help it! his hair is too long, he needs Gator to iron his shirt and he doesn’t even do anything in this video, but if you can resist him you might be a robot.
The best thing about this, of course, is that it means October is right around the corner.