It’s JStaal’s birthday! Jordan turns 17 today (okay 23). He got a birthday post last season, but we never get tired of this guy. And he knows it.
Last season, Jordan has some injury issues. He might be as clumsy as me and Chuck, but we’re not 6’4″ and don’t have quite so far to fall. After having a strong second half last year, Gronk is ready to get this party started.
Some of you (Dawn) didn’t like Jordan’s hair last season (Dawn) and tried to resist him. Even nicknamed him Trannysaurus Rex (Dawn).
The opinion of this Court is that you will not succeed. You will love him and his dinosaur roar when he scores copious goals this season. Just give up and come to the Gronk Side. Because resisting Jordan Staal is like:
Happy Birthday Jordy! I wasn’t a huge fan of the long hair either (Dawn), but I can’t resist his crazy goal celebrations or his muscular physique for too long!
No one can resist the powers of JStaaaaaaaaaaaaaal. Fact.
Me either and I am definitely old enough to know better! He sort of gets this look in his eyes that says he wants to do bad things to you and you know EXACTLY what they are.
Oh my. Now I need to lie down.
Wait – I already am (no kidding).