Two Heads are Not Better than One

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness

Now, is this really necessary?

More for me to share with ladies. hahahahahaha!

Isn’t one Ovi enough?

If your name is DawnCherrie, probably not, but for the rest of us, we’re cool with just the one. Thanks so much.

Now don’t get me wrong – I think that Ovechkin is a crazy good hockey player.  He’s flashy, dynamic, and ALWAYS looks like the kid having the most fun out there when he scores goals.

HUGS FOR EVERYONE!

Speaking of goals…

They haven’t exactly been coming fast and furious for Ovechkin.  He has the same amount of goals (3) as Mike Green.  Mike Green, people.

It’s cool though.  While teams are busy covering the Russian Machine, it gives opportunities to guys like Green, Ward, Backstrom, Chimera, Johansson, and Wideman to create plays and score points.

And any time Mike Green scores, Pants does this….

from http://burningupthesuntosaygoodbye.tumblr.com/

The Caps are 7-0 on the season and fans are no doubt dreaming that this might be the year.

And it very well could be.   They are always considered a top team in the NHL and with good reason.  They have depth, skill, and with the addition of Tomas Voukon between the pipes, the Caps are built like a Stanley Cup contender.

If only they could get through the playoffs…

As You Wish

- Posted in Pants Loves

How am I supposed to get any work done around here?!?!?!

Apparently that’s not enough.  I’m only mostly dead, because I croaked “true love” with my second-to-last breath, so @CapsCR had to back up and run me over again:

I’ll tell you what he can take home.

And just to make sure no one was left in the office, there’s this one of iCarly.  Gator almost made it out of here alive.

Tell Santa about it now – you’re going to need 12 copies of this calendar so you don’t wear out the pages turning them every day.

If Dawn Were Here…

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire

Does anyone know what magazine these are from?  An exhaustive three minute Google search yielded nothing.  But the interview is hiliario.

I always unpack in the bathroom.

Those are some feet.

Goals or assists?
Goals.
Stanley Cup or gold medal?
Both.
American or Russian hockey fans?
Russian.
Because they’re more knowledgeable?
Because they’re Russian.
Moscow or DC?
Moscow in the summer.
Italian suit or jeans and T-shirt?
T-shirt.
Blonde or brunette?
Both.
Jessica Alba or Megan Fox?
[Smiles] Definitely both.
Greatest player of all time?
Mario Lemieux.
Where do you rank? 
No comment.
Your rival, Sidney Crosby: dislike him?
I love him.
You send him cards on his birthday?
I send him cards every day.
Your worst injury?
No injuries.
None?
Five broken noses. But I finish the games each time.
Why don’t you have an agent?
Selfish. I don’t want to pay.
Do you remember your first million-dollar check? 
[Big smile] Yes. Yes, I do.
How did it feel?
It felt heavy.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done off-ice that you will talk about?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Nothing I will talk about.
You once told a pretty Russian journalist that sex before games helps you. True?
Yes, she was pretty.
What does the White House look like when you’re driving past it at 180 mph?
I don’t know. You have to look straight.
What do you love most about hockey?
Winning.
What bores you more than anything?
This. [Smiles] Most boring thing ever.

Dawn would be proud of me for posting this.  She’s all kinds of busy with a shiny new job while Ovi is just hanging around the WUYS office in fancy dress, waiting for her to play air hockey.  He’s all shined up and… wait.  Oh.  Here he is from Friday carving a pumpkin (@DesignoAbe):

How many cameras are on you?

Mikey Monday: 4 on the Floor

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Mike Green, you stud.  Way to make Saturday Date Night count!

We'll talk about this facial hair later. From jlrpuck.tumblr.com

In case you weren’t watching, refreshing your Twitter every ten seconds or hearing my screams echo across DC, you might have missed Mike scoring 2 goals and getting 2 assists vs. Detroit.  You might have missed him taking a puck to the chin (“NOT THE FACE!”) and the sound of silence from Gator as her beloved hometown Red Wings got steamrolled by the still-undefeated Capitals.

Mike celebrates a goal like he’s picking up a girl.  “YES! I was unsure this would ever happen again and now success, hooooray!”

Matthieu Perrault had 2 goals.  Mike, Hendricks and Ovi each had 2 assists.  Mojo and Joel Ward both scored and 5 other guys assisted.  They put points in the Chipotle blimp and just showered them all over the Verizon Center.

Nearing the end of the 3rd, while still hoping Mike might get a hattie, I said to Gator: “All we need is Nicky to score a goal now.”  Let me tell you something, Nicklas Backstrom is your dream boyfriend.  Goal?  Here you go.  Ice cream? Let me get that for you.  Honey, I just finished hand-washing your car and there’s all this water left, should I just pour it on myself?  Shirt on or off?

And with that unnecessary but beautiful goal, Mike & Nicky combined for a Pooh & Piglet BFF hat trick.  Seriously I just order these things online and they’re delivered right to my seat.

Mike was the First Star of the game – that’s 2 out of 7.  His First Star average is above the Mendoza Line.  He was interviewed in the 2nd INT, during which Gator and I had the following conversation (in the ice cream line):

Photo by doyouwannaflight874.tumblr.com

Pants: How many goals does Mike need to justify this facial hair?

Gator: What do they call more than a hat trick?  He needs that many.

Pants: I kinda like it.

Gator: Of course you do.

Pants: Maybe it’s part of his Halloween costume.  He’s going as Zorro.

Gator: Can they put the mask over his whole face?

I think it’s kind of dastardly.  And hilarious.  Good lord Movember’s going to be a long month.

Now, if you had a lot of money you would go to the Caps Casino Night event on February 10 [link].  We are investigating whether or not this qualifies as a tax write-off.  Otherwise, we’re going to campaign that Ovi adopt us as un-foreign exchange students and his guests.   Or we could take donations…

Glamour Shots: Pittsburgh Penguins

- Posted in Glamour Shots, Hot Like Fire, Randomness, We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

All other NHL teams have officially been put on notice.

We wish more teams would highlight their talent like this.

And by highlight, we mean take insanely attractive glamour shots of their players and create calendars which we can buy and hang in our offices and sigh dreamily over as we format excel spreadsheets, take conferences calls about monkeys, and troll tumblr for more photos.

Ladies, you know what time it is. It's sexy time.

Do not fear. I shall return.

Me too. I'm right behind him.

Hai. You're pretty. Let's make out.

Smartest guy on the team. Literally. I went to Harvard.

Czech him out, ladies.

I knew I should have combed my hair. Oh well.

Only thing missing is photo of James Neal.  If there was, you can be sure Pants would be blowing that photo up and making a Nealmobile shrine, serial killer style in some abandoned Annapolis warehouse.

Thanks to our WUYS friend Amber (@aemorgan) for the heads up.  She knows what we like.  

Foxy Friday: Mike Richards

- Posted in Foxy Friday

… the WHAT?  First Patrick Kane, now Mike Richards?

In case you missed it, the Rapture has been rescheduled for today.  It was more convenient for everyone.  So we figured we might as well start confessing our deepest secrets, like Mike Richards is pretty foxy.  Just not (never never ever) as a Flyer.

LA vs. Philly comes down to two words: Shiny Shirts.

Richards was traded to Los Angeles in June, surprising everyone.  He was the Flyers captain, with 9 years left on his contract (he’s 26) and a marquee name in a sports-mad city.  If you believe the talk, he and bromance-buddy Jeff Carter debauched their way right out of the Philly.  Richie says he’s looking ” forward to having a lower profile” in SoCal [link].  Chuck and I can promise (after 10 collective years in LA) that 99% of that population doesn’t know hockey from bobsledding.  So good plan.

Pack the arms. Leave the shirt.

Richie has a sick house in his Ontario hometown, where he hangs out with Cabbie a lot.  Really, Carts should worry.  Austin Powers designed this place – they must have disabled the bell that plays “boychickawowwow” whenever someone comes in the door.  Don’t give up until at least the second hot tub.

He also on Twitter at @Mrichie18, where he will win you over with his decent grammar as he trash talks other former Flyers.

Still struggling to get over the whole Flyers thing?  Not convinced quite yet?  Fine, here.

Don’t know who these other people are, don’t care.

This Foxy Friday has been brought to you by the letter F and is dedicated to our new friends (who love Richie and the Kings):

The Chamber of Secrets is Open

- Posted in Like a Boss, Pants Loves, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Mike Green’s parents might want to check their family photo albums, because I think one is missing.  (I swear I was in DC the entire time.)  Someone busted into their vault at Gringott’s and we have learned:

1. Mike Green doesn’t wax his eyebrows. He was born with that perfection.

2. He went from having his baby face, to this one, then back to the exact same baby face.  How is that possible?

3. I would have loved him in middle school too, rocking the velvet collared shirt and the Nick Carter curtains.  Even then, he knew how to use product.

from worthless89.tumblr.com

This is serious “Do you like me? Circle yes or no.” material.  You’re doodling his name on your paper bag book covers and checking your Bonne Bell lip gloss in the locker mirror right now, aren’t you?

BRB, DYING.

- Posted in Pants Loves

Baby Mikey.  I can’t form another sentence.

from hockeyplayersaskids.tumblr.com

Intern Desk: Win a Date

- Posted in Intern Jeff Skinner, We Love, We're Mental

Intern Jeff Skinner here, announcing an Independent Study that I’m taking as part of my job with WUYS.  Why not do more work, eh?  It’s not like they pay me.  My objective (as clearly stated in my WUYS Thesis Outline) is to get Pants and Gator to come to Raleigh to see me.  I went to DC and they only came over for 10 minutes, then spent the entire time looking at Captain Eric.  I know he’s blond.  I KNOW!

I’m breaking out the big guns (and I don’t mean my new arms… this time):

See that bobblehead?  The one with the Calder Trophy we’re giving away on 11/14?  Match that to your Logan Couture teal nail polish, Pants!  But it turns out Chuck will be in DC that weekend.  WHAT.  How about wall clings on 12/1 – perfect for the office!  The car!  But the freaking Penguins are in DC that night.  First Chuck, then Neal.  I might have to call that James Neal up right now and give him a piece of my mind.  I have his number, did you know that Pants?  Oh, you’ve secured DCPD cell phone triangulation equipment?  Well FINE!

That’s right – I’m giving away a DATE.  How do you like that?  There are zero details on this promotion because I am mysterious and playing hard-to-get.  And in case Pants wins, because then we’re going to Canada and I’m drinking a beer.  I can do that now.

Once around the tree, the fox chased the rabbit...

You guys should enter the contest – it’s right here [link].  Pants already entered, I checked.  If you won, we could go apple picking or Christmas caroling and she’d be really jealous.  We could go to Eric’s for pre-game meal, then I’d give you a jersey and score you a goal and everything.  I hear girls love that stuff.  Then I’d be all shy and embarrassed when they ask about you post-game but I’ll just say that I could hear you cheering loudest of all.

Sigh.  That sounds pretty good, eh?  I hope you win.  Yes, you.  I’ll post lots of pictures of our date on WUYS and not even bring Pants a Mexicola that day.  Then she’ll have to come to Carolina.

And He Won That Car

- Posted in Newsies

While you guys have been listening to me rave about James Neal  at an octave usually reserved for boybands and high school quarterbacks…

Gratuitous, excellent photo by devin-elizabeth.tumblr.com in Winnipeg.

The NHL’s other leading goal-scorer, Phil Kessel Cartman has 7 goals and 12 points in Toronto.  He’s historically a fast starter (as is the Nealmobile), only to experience huge production drops later.  Currently, he’s on pace to score 114 points.  Read about his streaky past and current roll in the Toronto Star [link].

Last night he scored in the 3rd to tie the Leafs 3-3 with Winnpieg, and the Leafs won in a shootout.  Good thing too, because I told our friend Shades to bet that way on the game.  So Cartman saved me $5 (thanks bud).  Toronto is 4-0-1 at present, in Boston tonight visiting Chuck.

What do you think – are these hot streaks going to hold up?  Is this the year we see big breakouts?  Here’s hoping Kessel keeps scoring – that’ll teach people to pick him last in the All-Star Game draft!  He’s on Twitter too – @pkessel81.

by nlinde.tumblr.com

Yeah….So that happened…

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Epic Fail, Fight Club, Randomness

Last night’s game between the Bruins and the Hurricanes was pretty good….

until this happened.

Who farted?

 

PARTY IN THE PENALTY BOX!

But this is a party you wouldn’t really want to go to.  The food is bad.  The champagne is flat.  And someone clogged up the toilet.

It was ugly, people.  Oooglay.

And like Nine Inch Nails, we were headed into a downward spiral.

Chris Kelly – perhaps the most unassuming, gentle man on the Bruins – even got into a fight.

CHRIS KELLY!

Chara goes all Godzilla on this guy…

I’m not one to complain about the officials but they were a little suspect last night.

I'm sensing a pattern here....

Bruins = 72 PIM.  Hurricanes = 22 PIM.

Really?  Only 22 minutes?  Both teams were chippy and throwin’ bows but somehow only the Bs got the minutes.

Chuck no likey.

Neither does Coach Claude.  He got tossed.  Pretty sure if he could have chest bumped the refs MLB-stylo, he would have.

Grumpy Bear.

If they do wrong, give them the two minutes (or four…or ten).  Make them feel shame.  But don’t be one-sided in your punishment.

BTDubs – Shawn Thornton, 2 minutes for “Abuse of officials”?  Never heard that one before.

Clean Up, Aisle 8

- Posted in Newsies, Randomness, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Gator and I were at the Caps game last night when Mikey got hurt at the end of the 2nd period.  We were busy revising iCarly’s participation in Gator’s Life Plan, so we just saw contact, then Mike fell down.  This happens a lot, folks.  But Mike got up very awkwardly, half-stumbled to the bench and leaned against the glass doubled-over for a moment before going to the locker room.  We looked at each other and said, “Not again!” or “We need snacks!” or something.  I thought it was his hand.

Luckily, Mike was back at the start of the 3rd period and appeared fine.  We come to find out, from the lovely @lisacooperstein, that we missed one of the greatest hockey calls of all time, by Craig Laughlin:

“Mike Green got hit in the produce section.” 

Photos from jlrpuck.tumblr.com

It’s a good thing we didn’t know this diagnosis.  Section 403 has only a tiny piece of glass to keep people confined to the upper deck, and a 20 foot drop would clearly be the quickest way to down to volunteer Good Samaritan help.  I watched Alias.  One lipstick-shaped grappling hook and a backflip, I’m there.

Mike played the entire 3rd and is on the ice for Caps practice this morning, so presumably there’s no, ahem… damage from the injury.  But really Mike, how am I supposed to resist making jokes like, “We told you last season to stop getting hit in the head!”  You’re not helping.  Stop smirking.

More of This

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Newsies, Pants Loves, Shanabanned

Greetings from JamesNeal.com.  In James Neal news, James Neal scored again in the Pens 4-2 win over Minnesota last night [link].

Oh, you wanted a shiny new Nealmobile highlight reel?  (No more rhyming and I mean it!).  Here it is, thanks to PensTV [link].

Smile. People will wonder what you're up to.

JStaal, Duper and Kunitz also scored and Brent Johnson was first star!  Tanger talked about his hearing and suspension, and about wearing multiple stripe patterns in bold colors like a BOSS [link].  If this is Detention, I might have to start breaking rules.

Side note: Max Talbot got his first goal of the season in the Flyer’s 7-2 rout of Ottawa.   Still miss you, Superstar.

Tanger Gets Two

- Posted in Newsies, Shanabanned

Letang has been suspended 2 games for his boarding hit to Burmistrov during last night’s loss in Winnipeg.  Here’s Shanaban explaining the call [link].

Shanny calls out that Burmistrov maintains his course and Kris finishes the check without trying to minimize impact.  He also cites Tanger’s fine in April of last year for a boarding call.

Kris thinks not.

He will miss tonight’s game vs. Minnesota and Thursday against Montreal.  That’s sad – it’s his hometown team.  Letang will be back in the lineup on Saturday when the Penguins host the Devils.

So… fair?  Unfair?  It’s Shanahan’s first suspension of the regular season, but he proved in pre-season that he’s not shy about sending guys to the suite.  It certainly achieves his goal of sending a strong message.  I do agree that Kris could have mitigated the contact and not finished the check on Burmistrov so hard – he doesn’t try to slow down or stop.  So if that’s the rule, if that’s what it takes to keep guys safe then so be it.  It’s going to be a long season.

Do Not Like

- Posted in Newsies

Kris Letang will face a hearing with the NHL Dept of Player Safety today regarding his hit on Alex Burmistrov in the third period of last night’s game against Winnipeg [link].  He received a minor penalty for boarding on the play.  If suspended, it would likely begin (and hopefully end) with tonight’s game in Minnesota.

Bad kitty.

I didn’t see the hit and I can’t find it online anywhere.  Who saw it?  Is Tanger going to get Shanabanned?

Also in Terrible, No Good, Very Bad news, Tyler Kennedy is out with “concussion-like symptoms” [link].  The team found out Sunday night, though Disco Dan says he does not know when TK was injured.  He didn’t play last night, nor will be play tonight.  On Saturday, he finished the game vs. Buffalo and even assisted on Staal’s goal at 15:09 of the third period.

This is an unacceptable development.  Don’t make me call a prayer circle.  The Pens say TK will be reevaluated shortly – good news, please, good news.

 

Mikey Monday: Blustery Day

- Posted in Bromance, Mikey Monday

It’s a really slow day and this picture has been lurking around my inbox forever.  Dawn sent it, presumably trying to impress us with Ovi’s shorts.  Or because he’s wearing a Coach’s Corner t-shirt.

But all I see is this.

Am I wrong?  There’s this:

And this.  I could go on all day.

Mike has 2 points in 4 games and the Caps are undefeated.  They play the Panthers tomorrow night, so let’s hope they keep this little streak alive.

What comes after 17?

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

Welcome to another edition of “What’s James Neal Doing today?” here at JamesNeal.com.  Oh, right.  Thanks to Dawn & Chuck for sharing the love to other teams.

He’ll have a new highlight reel soon, but in this Stars reel you can see why Headmaster Shero was all about getting Nealer on board in the ‘Burgh.

The Pens got goals from Nealer and JStaal on Saturday, but lost to Buffalo 3-2.  Here’s the post-game interview [link].  I hate post-game after losses, everyone looks so sad.  Pittsburgh is in Winnipeg tonight and Minnesota tomorrow, there are lots more chances for everything Neal shoots to go in the net.  So cheer up boys, back at ’em.

Whip your hair back and forth.  Hell, dye it pink.  It always works for us.

Click for hair-whipping action mode.

Marc-Andre Fleury Poses Nude for ESPN Magazine?

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.

He turned them down! But they asked! I know. What a shame. But he did an awesome interview on “After Hours” when they were on HNIC. Kevin Weeks was all hot and bothered.

Here’s the whole interview. Enjoy! He is just so awesome. I JUST LOVE HIM. And God Bless the CBC – they aired the part of the interview where he swears after winning the cup.

I would give you markers but he is so funny that you just need to watch the whole thing. They even ask him about the Sweet Petite comparison we made when 24/7 aired! 🙂

It Will Only Be A Matter Of Time

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Lazy forever? I’ve already got you beat …

Right now these only come in gray, navy and ‘fashionable’ pink but since they actually went as far as saying “being a hit at your next tailgate party.”

I’m seeing these as not only the next snuggie (although I’ve been wearing adult footie jammies for YEARS) but I’m hoping the NHL will run with it and start branding THE CAPITALS (insert your favorite team) across those awesome – ah oh! exit flaps when you gotta go!

I’ve never ventured out in public in my footies though, but I see these as ‘THOSE’ pants THOSE men wear to football, baseball and soccer games. You all know which ones I’m talking about! So move over Green Men, there’s a new fashion statement on the horizon but call right now, you get two for one!

just like my friend Gaylord here ...

Dashing Caps

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, We Love

Gator FTW! She just sent me this – trolling the internet for pictures of iCarly when she should be working.  Wonder who she learned that from?

Capitol File – Washington Capitals Model Fall Fashions

Here’s the link to short player profiles and a link to the video.  Knuble’s vest and Hendy’s rolled-up sleeves are my favoriteas.  Nicky looks like he carries his books to school in a strap and can’t wait for milk & cookies at home.  iCarly is a mafia enforcer, Neuvy is the crime boss (no one would suspect!).

(PS: Where is Mike?! What kind of fashion show is this?!  I wonder if he was invited.  I can’t believe Nicky went without him.  So proud, Backs!)