Does anyone know what magazine these are from?  An exhaustive three minute Google search yielded nothing.  But the interview is hiliario.

I always unpack in the bathroom.

Those are some feet.

Goals or assists?
Goals.
Stanley Cup or gold medal?
Both.
American or Russian hockey fans?
Russian.
Because they’re more knowledgeable?
Because they’re Russian.
Moscow or DC?
Moscow in the summer.
Italian suit or jeans and T-shirt?
T-shirt.
Blonde or brunette?
Both.
Jessica Alba or Megan Fox?
[Smiles] Definitely both.
Greatest player of all time?
Mario Lemieux.
Where do you rank? 
No comment.
Your rival, Sidney Crosby: dislike him?
I love him.
You send him cards on his birthday?
I send him cards every day.
Your worst injury?
No injuries.
None?
Five broken noses. But I finish the games each time.
Why don’t you have an agent?
Selfish. I don’t want to pay.
Do you remember your first million-dollar check? 
[Big smile] Yes. Yes, I do.
How did it feel?
It felt heavy.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done off-ice that you will talk about?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Nothing I will talk about.
You once told a pretty Russian journalist that sex before games helps you. True?
Yes, she was pretty.
What does the White House look like when you’re driving past it at 180 mph?
I don’t know. You have to look straight.
What do you love most about hockey?
Winning.
What bores you more than anything?
This. [Smiles] Most boring thing ever.

Dawn would be proud of me for posting this.  She’s all kinds of busy with a shiny new job while Ovi is just hanging around the WUYS office in fancy dress, waiting for her to play air hockey.  He’s all shined up and… wait.  Oh.  Here he is from Friday carving a pumpkin (@DesignoAbe):

How many cameras are on you?