I’m not much of one for cars, especially since a certain defenseman’s Lamborghini just makes me laugh. But scars? For bikini season, we thought we’d bring back this gem MDZ is sporting:
“When Evgeni Malkin cut me with a skate I felt lucky to have ribs. I got 50 stitches, no staples. I’ve had to work hard on balancing my lats ever since. But I have to say, it’s a great icebreaker, especially at the beach. Like they say chicks dig scars.” – New York Rangers’ Michael Del Zotto [video – no visible blood]
The Kings won again, they always do. I’ll let Chuck or Dawn recap it for you. The game was exceptionally fun to watch, since I don’t really care about the outcome. But here’s something I do care about:
HEY SID! He was on to Jumbrotron and, of course, promptly booed. Genius. He hasn’t played against the Kings since November 2009. What are you booing? Because the Kings have half the Flyers, you want to boo Crosby? Because the Kings made a Verizon commercial where they play the Flyers? Oh shut up. Boo Matt Duchene, he matters against your team!
(Sorry, /endrant. It actually makes me laugh.)
Some of us were thrilled to see Sid. He told HNIC that he feels good and is training hard. The fact that Duchene was in the same suite almost makes Crosby look fun, no? A little? Eh, we can’t have everything.
Here are the celebs they could muster up for a Monday night in LA. We want to sit by Alyssa Milano, she looks suitably concerned even when her team is winning. And we all look good in her Touch women’s team gear.
Now that it’s June, we might as well start talking about the elephant in the room: will the Caps re-sign Mike Green this summer?
Or, more accurately, does anyone want to see my meltdown if they don’t?
Before I put my head in an oven like Kate Winslet in The Holiday, please read this hilarious RMNB piece: “Year End Review: Mike Green.”
Fidget will become a restricted free agent on July 1. If this is new to you, read the rules here. Basically the Caps have to make a “qualifying offer” equal to his $5 million/year salary to retain his rights. Mike can wait to see what other teams might bid, then the Caps have the option to match it. If Mike doesn’t stay, the Caps would get draft picks as compensation from wherever he goes.
Mike doesn’t want to leave me DC. He told CSNWashington: “Absolutely, I love it here,” he said. “This is a great organization, a great city and I believe that we’re going to win a Cup here and I want to be a part of it.”
He’d better say that.
The story will come down to what the Caps are willing to pay. Mike had a couple of killer seasons, including back-to-back Norris Trophy nominations and the standing record for longest goal-scoring streak by a d-man (8 games). The last two years he’s struggled with injuries, a more defensive system, increasingly skinny jeans and falling down.
People love to blame Mike for everything, and I get it (sometimes). It’s frustrating when key guys don’t produce. If that were a song, the Caps could play it during pre-game skate. He is not alone in the doghouse, but it is expensive to feed him at this rate.
Alas, here are the top 25 paid defensemen for last season [link]. Mike is #25. Recent contracts to guys like Duncan Keith ($8 mil/yr) and Brent Seabrook ($7 mil/yr) have seen prices skyrocket for elite defensemen. Shea Weber went to arbitration last summer and got $7.5 million, just to be an RFA again this year. They’ll be printing money with his face on it.
The last two years, these guys are out of Mike’s league. He hasn’t been an impact player. Accident or incident? Who knows. But two/three years ago, Mike was right up there. He’s still only 26 – Doughty (22) is the only d-man on the list who’s younger. Do the Caps gamble on keeping their Young Guns together for the promise of another run? That requires more question marks, like ‘Has Ovi turned a corner?’ and ‘Will Semin be Sasha Fierce every day?’ (Semin’s an unrestricted free agent, and that’s gonna get ugly.)
Maybe we just need more guyliner.
There’s also the fact that the Caps have &#%@ all else on the blue line. Put Karlzner aside (iCarly is an RFA too – get paid, son!). Who are we left with? The stonewall defense pairing of Jeff Shultz and Dmitry Orlov? Hamrlik and Wideman? Wideman’s a UFA, don’t plan on seeing him in October. Unless the Caps have their eye on another defenseman to fill Mike’s skates, this squad couldn’t stop the WUYS Kickball Team.
Back when Mike was… scoring more points? That hurts.
Blergh. I obviously believe in Mike. Am I an eternal optimist or a sucker for a lost cause? When he’s good, he’s so, so good. Confidence and the consistency of regular play are the keys for Mike. Right now, I want to grab him and shake him and make him write a list of ten things he likes about himself. A full season can turn him around and he is worth $5 million, damn it!
If the Caps won’t take the chance on Mike, someone else will. Let’s hope that day never comes – I won’t be the only one hitting a low point.
If any of you have watched NBC’s Post Game wrap-up, then you know Other-Brother-Darryl needs to take that sh*t on the road! Because having handled talent and sat through countless hours of interviews and seen press chewed up and spat out by the best, Other-Brother-Darryl ranks right up there only he is god damn funny about it.
Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!
Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!
Even though each game has gone into OT, the LA KINGS have shown they can re-group when it matters and pull it out. For the GW – it was Pancakes for the block on Brodeur and Carter came in on the blocker side. You totally know Richards and Carter made sweet love on the 6 hour flight back to Los Angeles and ravaged the mini bar to boot!
The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!
We have to make a whole category for this if we’re going to get through the off-season. Can someone remind me what we did in the summer before Twitter? How did we ever know:
Who makes double entendres with random-yet-endearing capitalization?
What Ebs dreams of when he looks in the mirror?
Who needs you to bring them a beer?
Who will buy you popcorn at the movies?
Who thinks college is way different than it really is?
But gets everything else so right?
With all this, a tan, and the potential of a Mike Richards/Jeff Carter Stanley Cup party to contemplate, I think we might get to September after all.
Last year, zero Calder Trophy finalists were featured as Foxy Fridays. Not even Rookie of My Life Logan Couture, and not counting the time Jeff posted a picture of himself holding a baby. Zero legitimate Foxy Fridays.
This year, we’re giving them out like candy. First Landeshirtless over there in Sweden, and that was just for falling on his face. Now, and perhaps the most deserved Foxy Friday of the year: Adam Henrique.
We could give him three separate Fridays, really – one for his face, one for his goatee and one for this sweatshirt. Do the Devils live in a pajama factory? Can we go to there? Throw in a couple of heart-stopping, dream-ruining goals and Adam could get a whole month of Fridays.
As we said in our Puck Daddy Beard Watch post, we are BIG FANS of this goatee. He looks like the devil from a movie, who talks you into all kinds of really good bad ideas. Right? He’s all, “Hi, I’m Adam,” and you’re like:
(Intern Jeff Skinner just threw down his notebook and stormed out.)
Henrique grew up on a farm in Ontario – not sod, but still. What goes on up there?! He spent last season with my hometown-ish Albany Devils. After a rough 2011 training camp, Adam was sent back to Albany, just to be recalled a week later to replace an injured player. He stayed put in NJ and had 16 G/35 A in the regular season.
Don’t worry, this was his September hair.
He was named to the 2012 NHL All-Star Rookie team, but missed the event due to a groin injury. Double bummer, as his family would have been there. NYR’s Carl Hagelin replaced him and got a Foxy Friday out of it. Cheater.
Cheekbones aside, Henrique is having a heck of a playoff. He scored the double-OT, game seven winner to eliminate Florida and move the Devils to Round 2 for the first time in five years. Then he scored the game six OT winner that ended the Rangers season. Did we mention he’s a rookie?
On that goal, NJ advanced to the Stanley Cup Final for the first time in nine years. Does anyone know the record for most playoff series-ending OT goals in a season? I bet it’s two. And they both feel like:
SCF Game 1 didn’t go NJ’s way, but still needed OT to be decided. Here are Zajac and AH talking about the loss [video]. It’s mopey – we recommend admiring his hairline instead. It’s the most perfect example since *N Sync’s plastic helmet hair in the “It’s Gonna Be Me” video (BRB, dance break).
Instead here’s Adam failing the NJ Devils History Quiz – he’d never make it in a pageant – then contesting the results [video]. He even knocks Wikipedia. Shall we go over there and add to his page?
Saturday Night is date night with Adam and Game 2 at 8 PM Eastern. The Kings have won 211 nine straight playoff road games. A win in New Jersey tomorrow would give them the NHL record for longest streak. Remember though, the Devils lost the first games to both Philly and New York. While those teams works on their tans, New Jersey and Los Angeles will step back into the ring.
You, feel free to wear your pajamas.
Sweatshirt appreciation, courtesy of fromtheblueline.tumblr.com.
Helpful Hint: Pronounce the “H” in Henrique. Adam does. [video]
At 8pm EST tonight, the puck will drop on THE greatest sports champion series in the world.
Obviously, we’re slightly biased because we pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe hockey since we’ve started this blog. I mean, not like we didn’t follow hockey closely before WUYS but we’ve progressed to a Beautiful-Mind-writing-on-the-window level of crazy. But I honestly believe that there is no greater trophy in the history of sport.
Yesterday was the Stanley Cup Finals Media Day, when all the players don their Tuesday best (hooded sweatshirts), trims up their playoff beards (except Dustin Penner), and face the press gauntlet.
Not only does the day allow writers to ask important (and totally ridiculous) questions of the players but it provides us with amazing photos of playoff beards.
Here are some highlights from yesterday’s Media Day at Prudential Center.
If you go seven months without seeing an acquaintance, you might greet them with, “Wow, you look so….” The word the Devils and Kings need here is hairy. These teams last met in October and it’s a wonder if they’d recognize each other now without the numbers on their backs.
Each team has been presented with one trophy this year. Both captains opted not to touch their Conference chalices, but only one will lift the Cup in 2012.
Will a playoff beard be the first to kiss Lord Stanley’s prize, or find itself waiting to see whom the captain hands the Cup to next?
Ever think you could watch a good-looking guy just do nothing all day?
TA DA!
Since we missed Memorial Day Mikey Monday yesterday, the lovely Katie Howell sent us this workout video. I have to do these planks endlessly for Tough Mudder training, so I should clearly be going to Mike’s gym. He doesn’t look at all like he wants to die, or surrender into downward dog for a break. He’s just chilling, or even bored. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t go to his gym. No one wants to step over my dead body on the floor.
It’s going to be a long summer. Get back on the Instagram, Mike!
Foxiness can come in many ways, shapes, and forms.
Sometimes it can come in the way of physical beauty. Other times from athletic prowess. Still other times from humanistic endeavors like building houses for the poor.
In the case of Dustin Penner, it comes in two ways.
The Facial Hair and The Funny.
Dustin Penner is…subdued. [click pic to watch the video]
When combined, this two forces have amazing foxy force, thus this week’s honor for the hero of Game 5.
There are few who can doubt that Penner’s “Man of the Mountain” facial hair is a thing of wonder. Clearly it is one of the best things about the Kings’ unexpected journey from #8 seed to the Stanley Cup Finals. (Besides the stellar goaltending of Jonathan Quick)
I’m legit obsessed with it. Its fullness and ebony hue are exquisite. It just looks SO RIGHT AND PERFECT.
If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. [click pic for video]
Then add to that his dry and witty sense of humor, and well, I’m in love.
Other reasons why I’ve seen fit to bestow this great honor –
He shares a birthday with my mom. Momma Chuck would approve.
He’s 6’4″, 245 lbs – a whole lotta lumberjack for us to love.
He injures himself eating a stack of delicious pancakes…then buts that self-deprecating humor to good use by hosting a charity breakfast at a local IHOP.
Hmmmmm….pancakes
He leads the Kings in penalty minutes (26) and has 10 points (3 G, 7 A) in 14 playoff games this season.
He scored the OT winner in Game 5 vs. the Coyotes to send the Kings to their 1st Stanley Cup Finals since 1993. Like a boss.
He’s rocking the hillbilly smile and he don’t care who knows it.
Monday I said, “Can we get an off-season photo of Steven Stamkos?” If he started wearing a ponytail for the summer, I want get my crying out of the way before workout videos start to pop up.
Today, VOILA.
This video of Steven accepting an award for being Steven-tastic not only includes him talking on a child’s plastic telephone and being chased around a Christmas tree by a toddler in a pillow fight, but also HE CUT HIS HAIR.
YAAAYY…WAIT. I’m not sure we’re going on by his ear – can someone just push his hair back there? With the super-high collar, this look is a little too “nervous religious-affiliated high school graduation” for me. Is it too short? Too vanilla?
Uh oh, I kinda miss the long hair! Just a little flow, like this:
Nothing crazy, like when he was working weekends pumping gas for gator trawlers in the Everglades:
No? I’m just used to looking through 3D glasses and now the world seems all flat and ordinary? This was really the best:
Can you argue with advertising campaigns?
I hate to start asking already if it’s October yet… I’ll try to hold off. Stammer was having a shoulder issue late in the season, and says it’s feeling better after a month off [link]. He’ll be in Vegas for the NHL Awards, accepting the Rocket Richard trophy for his 60-goal performance and as a nominee for the Hart Trophy. There’s a negative-seven percent chance he’ll have any kind of tan, so pack your sunglasses.
This is what happens in summer, y’all: style consultations and gratuitous cross-sports graphics.
The stage is nearly set for the ultimate NHL showdown. The Devils and Rangers battle it out at center stage while the Kings wait in the offing for their opponent to be named. It’s a long, hard fight to be among the last teams standing. Every one inch is earned.
This week, we salute the beards of some Unsung Unshaven Heroes. Marquee name or rookie sensation, it doesn’t matter what their contracts say now.
They fight on – and the proof of is all over their faces.
Last night was bonkers. The Devils scored three goals while I was making mac & cheese, then the Rangers got them all back. The Rangers were bad, then great. Brodeur had one of those moments, like in the back of a cab when you know you’re going to throw up and you have to decide: pull over or window?!
Then you don’t make either one in time.
In the end, the Devils put it away on a goal from surprisingly foxy Ryan Carter. Where have you been all our lives? New Jersey is now up 3-2 in the series.
Will Friday be the night we see this year’s other Stanley Cup contenders emerge? Chuck says no. I say Zach.
This post was just so I could use this picture.
I should have known that Pam (@itsalwayssunnyinnj) made this picture. She is a girlgenius.
My cats have banned me from the TV. Osiris Jones actually mews at anyone who swears. True Story. And there was a ton of it tonight. I swear like a sailor and many of Mr. Cherrie’s friends think I learned it from him but actually, I taught him pretty much everything he knows. My grandfather worked on the railroad in the Great Depression.
Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!
I told Mr. Cherrie when the game went into O.T. Pancakes was going to get the GWG. He just rolled his eyes at me since everyone was calling it the Radim Vrbata show.
I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….
And Drew Doughty was a man on fire and I have officially decided he has earned his own version of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick – THE DREW DOUGHTY HAT TRICK: he shoots a GOD D#$M LAZER ROCKETbut someone else taps, touches, directs, goes off their skate, pad, face or otherwise touches the pucks so he only gets the assist on an otherwise masterful shot. But that’s OK because he’s one cool cat and a goal is a goal.
The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.
Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.
Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:
LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.
LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.
LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.
So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.
Tonight the Kings will try again to advance to the Stanley Cup Finals. They’ve lost just two games in three rounds.
The @LAKings Twitter feed is spectacular, full of things only Judge Judy could get away with saying in a courtroom. I’d just like to remind the Washington Capitals that I’m available for snarky and potentially trouble-making social media commentary. Will work for hugs.
For the Kings, I feel a single loss in a series is good. You don’t want to finish too soon and sit around waiting for NYR/NJD to sort itself out. (Note: This didn’t hurt the Kings after they swept Round Two, but the Coyotes only needed five games to advance. The Rangers and Devils could go all the way.)
For our Coyotes pals – hey, comebacks happen. We’ve all prayed for them at one time or another. I hope the number of $60 tickets available for tonight’s game on Ticketmaster doesn’t mean people are giving up.
Chuck and Dawn are all Team LA. At this point, I’m really more interested in early-morning walks on the beach in pajamas with puppies. If he’s got a day off, Mike Richards can come too.
We’re trying to keep Foxy Fridays to players still in the playoffs, since summer is long and cruel. The pickings are getting a little slim. But imagine if, say, the Wild had made it this far? Blank pages, people.
Chuck is busy at her real job today (borrrrring!), so I’m honoring her turn by choosing a player she and Dawn both like. Me? I’ll decide by the end of this post. A rather indelicate but obvious choice: Jeff Carter.
Only kidding.
No, really.
A Jeff Carter post takes time because I can’t stop laughing. Not at his hockey skill, showcased from time to time, but because life is so gloriously full of bad decision yet to be made. For Carter, you want to make those bad decisions and wake up in the bottom of a rowboat during Spring Break, painted blue and holding a twenty dollar bill (really happened to someone I know, now starting a rumor that Carter was involved).
These are my Hollywood jeans.
Carts is 27, born on New Year’s Day in 1985. He played six seasons with the Flyers before being rather spectacularly dumped by Post-It Note (okay, not quite) after the ’10-’11 season. Stories and photos of his extra-curricular activities were the all-but-confirmed reason he and life-partner Mike Richards were sent packing. (Holy hyphens.)
Google the pictures. Carter should do a public service announcement called “Don’t Let Your Boss See This on Facebook.”
Wait. The stripper pole in your place, or the one in mine?
Carter landed with the Blue Jackets like a bug “lands” on your windshield at high speed. That lasted until February when he was sent to the LA Kings casting couch to be reunited with Richie. If hockey were more popular, this would have been show on Bravo.
Which member of this bromance married up?
Jeff, who has one 40-goal and two 30-goal seasons, didn’t exactly blast onto the ice in LA, with 6 goals in 16 games. But remember when the Kings were LAST in the NHL in offense this season? Things have certainly changed for them, and maybe for Carts. His hat-trick on Tuesday night was pretty sexy.
This is my grown-up face.
The thing with Carts is he makes $6+ million/year and has 10 years (!!!) left on his contract. He’s been called overpaid more times that he’s been called a sloppy drunk. The only way to battle that is to settle back into his 2008-2011 groove… after the Kings win the whole thing this year (Chuck and Dawn applaud) and we’re all invited to the party.
On our next episode: “Guys! We’re going streaking!”
How do I feel after all this? Eh. While Carts is chasing the Cup and working on his impressive beard, you can enjoy him. I’ll look at this picture and think 1) Danny Briere might as well be wearing a snowsuit and 2) I still like him better.
Except for this – this is fantastic. And only on Canadian Sportscentre.
um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!
Last night’s game was like the first episode of The Bachelorette. 25 suitors vying for one slightly used but marginally OK single mom.
LA’s Dennis the Menace
Not a lot of rough stuff – Shane Doan with yet another penalty, a few taunts, a couple of chest puffs but all in all, a tight game with one impression rose – Dwight King – I’m looking at you – Rookie Stand out with his 5th goal and Game Winner! Short side – high glove – like a goal scorer.
It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?
Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!
Not that I like to rub salt in a wound but at this point, I’m about records and captions and I’m dying to use: uno, dos, adiós….
