Foxy Friday: #TeamGagner

March 29, 2013 - Posted in Foxy Friday

Last time we put Foxy Friday up for popular vote, Sam Gagner stuffed the ballot box from ten Twitter accounts. Or maybe you guys get jealous that we’re all #TeamEbs when we could be sharing the love.

The Oilers beat the Blue Jackets 6-4 last night. Sam had 1 G/2A and his 250th NHL point, so it’s his turn today.

Remember that time Sam had an 8 point game?

And a shootout goal like this?

Sam is 23. That’s like old man on the mountain in Edmonton, if Edmonton had mountains. He has 90 G/161 A in six seasons with the Oilers.

Before that, Sam grew up 5 minutes from John Tavares and played junior hockey with Patrick Kane. Why didn’t we live near places like this? Baby Sam! What is your tie? And your hair is so almost-Eberle… stop it right now.

While hockey stats are about running numbers up, Sam is also adept at keeping things under 140 and still making you fall in love with him.

tweets

Especially photos:

That’s why we don’t live in Edmonton, right Sam?

But we could be persuaded to visit, say in November.

If that doesn’t work, he sure loves to pour water on himself for a less subtle approach.

As of today, Edmonton is tied for 11th in the West. My prediction for them the make the playoffs has been duly noted. I wish they played before my bedtime but I’m doing my best to watch more Western Conference hockey this season.

Rumors abound that the Oilers may trade Sam before he becomes an RFA at the end of the year [link]. He’s playing well enough to earn a big contract, but they’ve tied up tons of money locking in Ebs and Hall, with Nuge and Yakupov coming due before long.

Jeeeez, look at the Oilers’ roster – that’s a lot of expiring deals [link].

Sam’s true home is in The Hobbit alongside Danny Briere. It’s the ears!! They can replace the disconcertingly attractive dwarf as even more disconcertingly attractive guys in the 5’10” – 5’11” range. Also, Sam has Bieber on his iPod. Cue me, singing the Canadian National Anthem and marching around my office.

And just because I can… photos from The Land That Time Forgot. Seven year old Sam Gagner meeting Jarome Iginla:

There you have it, #TeamGagner shippers. Happy Friday to you all.

Comments 5 Comments
Categories Foxy Friday
Author Pants

About Last Night…

March 28, 2013 - Posted in Things We Learned on Twitter, Trades

MEMO FROM CHUCK’S DESK

Oh what fresh HELL is this! The last 12 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. First, the drama of the Bruins/Candiens game. Never ceases to amaze me how these games can take me to the height of joy down to the bitter pit of despair so many time in a mere 60 minutes. At the disappointing end of last night’s game, I went to bed all wretched but optimistic that today would bring some glimmer of hope…namely in the form of Jarome Iginla.

Nope. Sorry. Not happening. Ray Shero is a dream crusher and life ruiner.

Ray Shero is also a cruel thief and magical wizard. I don’t know how he does his voodoo magic to make these great deals without sacrificing a single roster player. It is just not right. It is downright Faustian.

hilarious post from www.stanleycupofchowder.com

Interweb speculations says that Iginla changed his mind after seeing the Bruins lose to the Habs last night but I highly doubt that his decision was solely based on the outcome of a single game. I’m betting that the Bruins and Pens were his top choices and after careful consideration, he went with the team that he felt was the better fit for him.

Although it pains me admit, right now the Pens do look like the better team, but I worry about their defense and goaltending. Letang on the IR and Fleury injured are never good things. Can new acquisition Murray and backup Tomas Vokoun fill the void? Debatable….

I truly believe that Iginla would have been a better fit for the Bruins and their style of play. He could have provided that goal-scoring, finishing ability that the Bruins need and the Pens definitely do not. They are front loaded with fire power. Can’t someone throw a little something our way?

Our twitter feed is going to be insufferable today – all the Pens fans that Pants added squeeing and fangirling all over the place and everyone else pissed that they didn’t get Ignila or annoyed with all of those Pens fans.

With a little over a dozen games left in the season, it will be interesting to see what happens in the Eastern Conference. But remember, the regular season is one thing…it’s all about the playoffs.

MEMO FROM PANTS’ CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS

Wow. It’s only 10 AM and I (as part of the Pens fanbase) have been called a lot of names, via every social media platform available. As I’m clearly obnoxious, insufferable, gloating, cocky, a fangirl and an ignorant jinx who only exists to ruin other hockey fans dreams’ all while prematurely hoisting the Cup, there isn’t much to say except that I’m happy for my team.

Haters gonna hate.

The Pens were a hard nine yesterday and today they’re a 10+. But hot or not, they’ve still gotta keep winning. If anyone learned anything: it’s not over till it’s over. That goes for trades and it goes for seasons. (Oh, maybe they also learned not to report news until it’s actually fact.)

Shero had a hand, he played it. Iggy had a choice, he made it. I hope it pays off for both, and the Pens, and for me.

Comments 0 Comments
Categories Things We Learned on Twitter, Trades
Author Pants

Bring the Action

March 27, 2013 - Posted in Bromance, Pants Loves

If this little girl could read, I’d swear she was reading our Tweets from last night:

It was a big game for #TeamEbs and the reunited Kid Line in St. Louis! Jordan had two beautiful goals. He almost scored his first NHL hat trick on a breakaway, but he and Taylor heard @amandalitty was having a tough day and let #TeamHall score it on the rebound. That’s what friends are for.

Remember when Ebs told Cabbie that his To Do List included, “Get in a better fight than Nuge” this year? THAT WAS A JOKE, RIGHT?

Goals, like drinks, make guys think they can do crazy things.

The Oilers got all 3 goals on the first 7 shots – they had only 19 in the game, compared to 43 by St. Louis. YIKES. That’s why the three stars were:

With so much talent, it’s tough to believe Edmonton ranks 12th in the West and 22nd overall. The Kid Line has just 19 total goals on the season. The Oilers are tied (with NYR) for 26th on offense, averaging 2.34 goals per game. Their defense is middling (18th), giving up 2.75 goals against/game – but the bigger issue is shots. Edmonton gives up more than any team in the League – 33+ per game. That’s a lot of reliance on goaltending and a lot of time in the wrong zone.

We need more of this:

.gifs by toewslake.tumblr.com

Throw in some Schultz and Gagne, Yakupov and Hemsky, shake and voila: boyband hockey hugs.

.gif by cali-canuck.tumblr.com

I said it before the season started and I’m saying it again: The Oilers are going to make the playoffs (for the first time since ’06 when they lost in the Cup final to Carolina).

Comments 6 Comments
Categories Bromance, Pants Loves
Author Pants

It’s Good to be… Rick Nash

March 27, 2013 - Posted in Chuck Loves, Like a Boss, Newsies, We Love

Last night, my hockey/lumberjack boyfriend scored his 300th NHL goal.

Rick Nash was all…

And I was all…

Then Rick Nash scored his 301st career goal.

He was all…

And I was all…

Flyers did managed to score two goals – including one that one off of Jake Voracek’s face – but alas it was not enough.

As expected, Nashty got the Broadway Hat. Just me or is that hat looking a little worse for wear?

Also, I LOVE the way he always just glances back at the camera as if to say “Hey Chuck. I see you there.” His eyes stare into my soul.

In other game notes…

John Tortorella is a winner. Not only did he get his 400th NHL win but he also re-energized the Rangers’ offence with a little Cupid Shuffle. Torts moved Derek Stepan in center with Nash and ~~Ryan Gosling~~ Carl Hagelin on the wings. The result? Four of the five Rangers goals.
Nash might have got the milestone goal but Stepan was by far the Rangers’ best player on the ice. He was everywhere and all up in the game like Pooh up in the honey pot.
Inigo better get it together. And soon. Judging from the in-game interview that Tortorella gave during the 2nd period, I get the distinct feeling that the Fonz is not particularly pleased with the way that Brian Boyle has been playing. Then they cut to Boyle looking all sad panda on the bench. Could a healthy scratch be coming soon?
Taylor Pyatt is still foxy.

Wayne Simmons is one tough BAMF. Not only did he take a puck to face earlier in the game that required stitches, but then in the 3rd, he got clipped AGAIN in the face by Brian Boyle’s errant stick. Wayne Simmons was all….

At 16-13-3, the Rangers have 35 points, but are still languishing toward the bottom of the Eastern Conference (two points ahead of the ninth-place New York Islanders.) Perhaps these new line combinations will reinvigorate the streaky Rangers’ offense. The Rangers will visit the Ottawa Senators on Thursday.

For the Flyers, the outlook looks bleak. The loss, combined with the Tampa Bay Lightning’s 2-0 win against the Buffalo Sabres, dropped the Flyers (13-17-2) into 14th place in the East. With Briere out with a concussion and Bryzgalov’s inconsistency, the malaise that has plagued the Flyers all season does not look to be going away any time soon. The Flyers host the Islanders, Boston Bruins and Washington Capitals later this week.

Comments 4 Comments
Categories Chuck Loves, Like a Boss, Newsies, We Love
Author Chuck

Mikey Monday: Hashtag

March 25, 2013 - Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Last night, Mike and the Caps really wanted you to tag your Tweets.

I don’t think “I miss hedgehog, fidgety, Jersey Shore-style Mike Green but at least this guy has a manicure. *P #CapsNYR” is what they were after.

They could have gone with #CutYourHair or #DontYouMissWhenIWasHot or… I’ll stop. Mike did have a goal in Friday’s rout of Winnipeg – an old fashioned slapshot from the point reminiscent of his “Game Over” days (at the 2:57 mark). Remember those? Aren’t they gorgeous enough?

More please and you can keep the hair! Too late for this, though:

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Mikey Monday, Pants Loves
Author Pants

Time Over Time

March 25, 2013 - Posted in Hot Like Fire, Pants Loves

Sundays should be easy. Could someone please inform my hockey teams?

Penguins 2, Flyers 1 – OT

The past two seasons, the Flyers have ended big win streaks for the Pens. Not last night!! It took a while, until Crosby PPGed so hard he almost fell over. He is a little back-heavy, after all.

.gif by jordanstaals.tumblr.com

Not for nothing, Sid got all these points without even brushing his hair.

Then everyone including Tyler Kennedy couldn’t believe that Tyler Kennedy scored the OT game-winning goal. Penguins win streak extended to 12 games!

Let’s love on Matt Niskanen for a minute. First of all, his middle name is Norman. It makes me think of the calf from City Slickers every time:

“Seat belts, Norman! Seat belts!”

Secondly, he’s been aces lately. Check out last night’s highlights [video] – the puck-drag around the shot block at 1:34, then the behind-the-back to TK for the winner! Nisky had the game-winner last week vs. Washington, giving him 4 goals in 25 games. Last year he scored 4 in 75. He needs a haircut something awful, but look at that smile:

.gif by christkunitz.tumblr.com

Also, last night… Capitals 3, Rangers 2 – SO

WELCOME BACK, PIGLET! At least we hope so. Mid-last week, Nicky Backstrom had only 3 goals on the year. THREE GOALS?

Yes. Horrifying.

But last night, NB19 scored the Caps’ first and last goals – the second being the 4th round shootout winner.

nicky1

So while the bonus goal won’t count toward the season total, we know it happened. That’s 3 goals and 3 assists in 3 games! Give us the return of this face and the Caps could give the playoffs a run for their money after all.

I will also grudgingly point out that Ovechkin has 6 goals in 5 straight games. The Caps have won 4 of those. Maybe (maybe, maybe) he CAN lead this team, at least on the scoreboard.

There’s no way out for the Caps without Ovi and Backstrom and no more time to wait. They jumped 3 spots in the standings this weekend, and are now 2 points out of 8th place. They host the Islanders, Sabres and Flyers this week – all teams just below them in the East.

Please let this elevator keep going up.

Side note: If you’re not following Ovi’s fiancée Maria Kirilenko (@mkirilenko), you are missing the most excited Caps-related Tweets out there. She might even be enough to make me like him.

Comments 4 Comments
Categories Hot Like Fire, Pants Loves
Author Pants

Foxy Friday: Chris Higgins

March 22, 2013 - Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Breakin' It Down, Foxy Friday

As desperately as we might have tried, we cannot ignore Chris Higgins.

I mean, he’s a Canuck, for pete’s sake. AND a Montreal Canadien. These alone make our skin crawl. It fills us with the fire of a thousands suns. It makes us rage like a Desperate Housewife who has drank up all her chardonnay and has no alimony money left to buy more.

But for today (and only today) do we put aside our blinding hatred and name Chris Higgins from the Vancouver Canucks this week’s Foxy Friday.

Chris Higgins is 100% Foxy. Here’s how we break it down.

85% – Abs. Those glorious, perfect, mantacular abs.

We feel like Emma Stone in “Crazy, Stupid Love” when she sees Ryan Gosling with his shirt off.

8% – Beard.

7% – Smile and overall adorableness.

Obviously, he has some hockey skills too, but we wouldn’t know.

We’re too distracted.

Comments 6 Comments
Categories Bearded and Beautiful, Breakin' It Down, Foxy Friday
Author Chuck

Double-oh my goodness.

March 20, 2013 - Posted in Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.

You may recall I once insisted Bauer was falsely advertising their “base layer” collection by featuring all hockey players and no underwear.

They didn’t quite hear me, but they may have understood some of my International Sign language.

That’s right. My hair-tossing and reasonable facsimile of the Kid N’ Play dance meant please do this:

What’s that? I’m a nuclear physicist and you need to record my voice to bypass security a break into a missle silo?

You’d better hope the passcode is a bunch of four-letter words and gasping.

Of course, an agent always gets his girl. And his girl ends up dead, covered in gold and rolled in a hammock in Antigua.

Eh, probably worth it.

There was never a shortage of Bond girls or bad jokes. Get it – Bauer VAPOR? Because these were all shot with the humidifier set to stun? And all my powder compacts are really remote detonators and lock picking sets.

Better hurry up, the shiny villain-type is coming.

Then the money(penny) shot. They’re thinking: JAMES BOND.

I’m thinking: BOYBAND.

Worked Westlife into a post, complete with Bry(i)an. Maybe I am a physicist.

Closer, Bauer. You’re getting closer. No pressure, but when other athletes model… well, I’m not even sure what they’re selling, but I’ll buy it.

Maybe that’s what happens on 4.18 when…

Comments 11 Comments
Categories Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.
Author Pants

We Want More!

March 19, 2013 - Posted in Hot Like Fire, Like a Boss, Pants Loves

When someone talks to me about Steven Stamkos scoring goals: And Stammer never lets a girl down. Last night he scored his 200th career goal in the Lightning win over the Flyers. Bonus yay.

stammer1

Alone in my car with Game Center Live radio playing on my phone, I yelled, “Hey girl, I’m Steven Stamkos!”

stamkos3 Not the 200th goal.

Stammer is the 4th youngest player to reach the 200 mark (Gretzky, Lemieux and Hawerchuck were younger). It’s really impressive… now please stop reminding me that he’s 23. Steven split the Rocket Richard trophy with Crosby in ’10 and won it himself last season. He could be on his way to another with a League-leading 21 goals. The Rocket Richard Trophy has only been around since ’99 [link], and no one has won three. (Selanne got 1 and Bure had 2 – both would have won 3 each if it had been introduced earlier). Among active players, Iginla and Ovechkin have each won it twice. Did I mention #200 was an empty-netter? Who cares? You could celebrate by buying this limited edition Tissot Steven Stamkos watch in Lightning blue for $460.

Or spend $460 and get tickets to every Lightning game for a year (probably).

This morning, take a moment to applaud Stamkos’ achievement.

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Hot Like Fire, Like a Boss, Pants Loves
Author Pants

Mikey Monday: Oh my dear sweet WTH are you doing?

March 18, 2013 - Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Good news – Mike is traveling with the Caps! He went to Carolina & Boston, and will make the four game trip that starts today. No word on when Bubble Boy might play, but at least he’s around for photos.

From Ovi’s Twitter:

mike2 I love these dorks, though I don’t understand what they’re so happy about (this was before Boston/Carolina, so forgiveness may be granted.).

Other news – these pictures. Decide for yourself if it’s good or bad because I am in hysterics. Can I have NO opinion and EVERY opinion all that the same time?

Is this real life?

I presume these are from Mike’s recently-made-public Instagram. I’d look for more but I’m so afraid of what I’ll find. It makes me question everything, like what is life? What is conditioner? Do you think he uses that WEN dry shampoo from the infomercials?

mike4 I flat-out screamed. Explaining why to my coworkers was on the awkward side of impossible.

I need to coin a phrase for how all this make me feel. Flail-safe? It’s somewhere between “fail-safe” (as in impossible to mess up) and “I spazzed out and tossed my laptop in the sink?”

I need a moment. It’s so good to see them together though! Ovi’s really helping out Mikey Monday with his Tweets about Carolina man-dates.

Cardigan. I have to stop.

Soundtrack to this post: Flight of the Conchords, “Most Beautiful Girl in the Room.” Depending on the street, would he definitely be in the top three?

Comments 11 Comments
Categories Mikey Monday, Pants Loves
Author Pants

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

March 17, 2013 - Posted in Hot Like Fire

Celebrate with this ridiculous goal Patrick Kane scored in the Hawks 8-1 win against the Dallas Stars last night.

Are you kidding me?! You know somewhere in Siberia, Peggy’s pissed he didn’t ask Kaner how he scores from the right side.

Comments 5 Comments
Categories Hot Like Fire
Author Pants

Foxy Friday: Brandon Sutter

March 15, 2013 - Posted in Foxy Friday

This Foxy Friday is presented by democracy.

First I asked Twitter to nominate candidates. Then I picked a guy who only got one vote and declared him the winner anyway, because he’s from my home state and he plays for my team. Is it Nepotism? No. It’s America.

Brandon Sutter had a good week. He got some goals, some hugs, some wins. He even got confused for his dad, which if you’re a Sutter is a big deal.

As you know, he is also not Jordan Staal. The subject of much weeping into a bag of Fritos during the lockout has become instead one of joy for Penguins fans.

Pick us up, swing us around.

Sutts played the last four seasons with the Hurricanes – including three stints with my hometown AHL Albany River Rats. Brandon, you’re already Foxy Friday, you can stop with the flattering me. (Don’t stop.)

He was traded to Pittsburgh during JStaal’s wedding like a cake with someone inside, waiting to jump out.

So far he has 8 G/5A in 23 games this year. He’s playing primarily third line center, though with Malkin out everyone is everywhere for the Pens. It doesn’t matter. When Brandon ends up alongside Neal, all James has to do is flinch while Sutter buries it:

sutter5

When he’s on the ice with Crosby, he might not even pass. He might just win the game himself.

How’s that feel, eh?

What else? Brandon is 24 and was born in NY (though he is Canadian) on Valentine’s Day, no less. He’s tall and honestly too skinny, I worry about him getting broken out there.

According to the Tumblr rumor mill, Brandon is also recently engaged. It’s no wonder when you read that he keeps his apartment neat [link] and, well…

This trade has been a win for the Penguins, who’ve been winning a lot of games lately. Sutter looks pretty happy about it too. Here he is answering Twitter questions from Pens fans:

The Pens play the Rangers tomorrow afternoon, the rematch against Chuck’s Bruins on Sunday. Sutter’s 2-goal comeback game will not be forgotten by the Bs. They host the Caps tomorrow.. wait, why am I not in Boston this weekend? How dare Chuck be away on a weekend like this?

I guess it’s better, we don’t want to fight. GO PENS!

Side note: 200 people (okay, 5) voted #TeamGagner because apparently we don’t do enough for the Oilers around here. Duly noted, ladies, duly noted. Sam will get his day. A few other guys got multiple votes and I’ve filed them all away.

Comments 9 Comments
Categories Foxy Friday
Author Pants

Yeah, So That Happened…

March 13, 2013 - Posted in Chuck Loves, Hall of Shame, Newsies, PUPPIES!

Last night’s Bruins vs. Pens was pretty good…until the 3rd period.

That is when the Pens’ offence sprang to life and took advantage of some uncharacteristic mistakes by my beloved Bruins. Pens scored 3 goals in under 5 minutes and went on to defeat the Bruins 3-2.

Now, I’m not making excuses [because there is no crying in hockey] but the Bruins did play night before in Ottawa and then had to hop on the plane to Pittsburgh. Fatigue had to factor it at least a little bit.

Bruins’ #2 goaltender Anton “Dobby” Khudobin got the start and was stellar against the Pens’ potent offence. Didn’t catch the game? Just check out the video clips here. Most all of the saves clips are Khudobin’s.

Dobby has save after save after great save. He was strong and aggressive in the net, especially on the Pens’ 5-on-3 when things could have got real ugly, real fast.

I can’t fault him for the loss because the 3 goals that the Pens did score were all good goals. And really when the Pens score against you, pretty much all of their goals are good goals.

BTW – Dobby & dimples. It’s a good thing.

Dobby make saves. No allow goals. Dobby happy.

I love Dennis Seidenberg as a player and think that he is seriously underrated. But last night’s game was sweet and sour for our favorite German.

He made a ridiculous play to save a goal…then made a ridiculous mistake that was the final nail in the coffin for the Bruins.

Hockey gods giveth and hockey gods taketh away.

Yeah, I know how you feel buddy.

This was definitely a game that the Bruins could have won. They only but 16 shots on Fleury and with the way he’s been playing lately, this was a missed opportunity. They should have peppered him with shots, sent Lucic in there to crash the net, and screened him all night long. Had they done that, the outcome might have been very different.

Seguin’s goal was tres impressive. (Watch it here.) Being able elevate the puck like that while moving away from said puck – Skillz, people. They don’t teach that in school.

Over the last few games, Seguin seems to have found his groove. He’s skating well, finding the puck, and looks like his scoring touch has returned. Add to that the great play of his line mates, Bergeron and Marchand,and the Bruins’ 1st line is just chugging away like a little train. Choo Choo! All aboard!

Bruins vs. Pens face off again this Sunday, March 17th.

This time, we’re gonna have the luck of the Irish on our side.

Comments 2 Comments
Categories Chuck Loves, Hall of Shame, Newsies, PUPPIES!
Author Chuck

Love Me, Love Me

March 13, 2013 - Posted in hockey hugs, Pants Loves

I’m sorry this happened against Chuck’s Bruins, but there is nothing better than a joyous hockey hug.

Bonus Neal’s face. Sid looks the same. I also looked that way, silently freaking out in a hotel lobby.

Update (thanks Alison): Action hug gif.

I love that Crosby is this happy for his guys – especially a new guy who came in on a trade for such a fan favorite, who had so much pressure on him. Look at these faces. I love this team.

PS: I almost wrote “I love that my captain…” but that makes even me want to barf. I still mean it.

Comments 9 Comments
Categories hockey hugs, Pants Loves
Author Pants

Mikey Monday: Still Here

March 11, 2013 - Posted in Mikey Monday

I have used every Mike Green photo on Google/Tumblr and I’m feeling really pouty. So I went to Bing to hunt for a new photo so I could post something – anything! – here for Mikey Monday, like a candle kept burning in the window of a house waiting for someone to come home.

See? Pouty.

The Bing homepage knew, and reached out to me.

Are you kidding me? Pouty no more.

Mike skated the other day. That’s hopeful, if you’re the kind of person who thinks that twice a year is often enough to buy Girl Scout Cookies.

Somewhere these two are just trying to get back to us, but their human forms just won’t cooperate. It’s like The Little Mermaid. They just want to be part of our world.

Comments 6 Comments
Categories Mikey Monday
Author Pants

Everybody Get Up

March 11, 2013 - Posted in Pants Loves

The Penguins have won 5 games straight. In that span:

They won four 1-goal games, including 1 OT and 1 shootout.

Chris Kunitz has 8 goals… three of them on Pittsburgh Penguins Sock Monkey Night, creating officially the most adorable hat trick in NHL history.

Asked how he felt about seeing sock monkeys on the ice, Crosby said:

insert girly laugh

Pascal Dupuis has 4 goals.

I’ve lost my voice from screaming.

James Neal has 4 goals (plus a shootout goal).

I used a 5ive song as the title of this post, just for Chuck.

And Sidney Crosby is a beast.

3 goals and 11 assists (plus a shootout goal)
Voted one of the Three Stars every game
Lost his helmet on camera just for good, sweaty measure

I’m sorry, were you trying to work?

Comments 4 Comments
Categories Pants Loves
Author Pants

Loosen Up My Buttons

March 10, 2013 - Posted in Glamour Shots, Hot Like Fire

We should get paid to test the critical mass of Twitter’s servers because when things like this happen, we do it for free.

Jonathan Toews in today’s SPLASH Magazine from the Chicago Sun-Times.

Is he in the shower? What kind of newspaper insert is this? It’s like the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog you have to be 18 to buy.

And who perfectly tucked in one side of his shirt? IS THAT A JOB?

I don’t get this one, except he’s checking out his own rear view and that’s something we can all understand.

Cute, cute, his forehead is enormous, cute, cute… wasn’t this just taking place in a locker room?

Oh yeah, it was.

Tight jeans and boots?

Any second here Jon’s going to announce his debut country album, “Singing in the Shower” featuring the hit single, “Foggin’ Up the Mirror.”

You were thinking those jeans are too light, right? A little too country? Well they make ’em tight in other colors, rejoice.

Apparently buttons are out. We’re okay with that.

Check out the hands-in-pockets action.

You want to read the article? LIAR. No one reads ~~Playboy~~ about Jon for the article! You can have some quotes here though, then get back to admiring.

The feature isn’t online (yet), but we’ll post it if someone sends it our way!

You all owe @alisonsykora for the emergency iPad screencaps.

PS: Go read the Toews Tumblr feed. It’s like a 1D concert spiked with vodka in there right now.

Comments 17 Comments
Categories Glamour Shots, Hot Like Fire
Author Pants

Foxy Friday: Matt Nieto

March 8, 2013 - Posted in Uncategorized

Variety is the spice of life and sometimes here at WUYS, we need to mix it up. For today’s Foxy Friday, we delve into the world of college hockey and select Boston University forward Matt Nieto as the newest member of this illustrious club.

Now, I know that you probably have a few questions like “Who the hell is Matt Nieto?” “What qualifies him for this prestigious honor?” “Does he have a mullet in this picture?”

First off, yes, that is a mullet. Yes, we kinda dig it.

His Foxy Friday qualifications are obvious. Not only does he have the eyebrows, which we appreciate, Nieto has also got some serious hockey game, like all the Foxy Fridays who came before him.

The 6ft, 192lb junior forward from the LBC has 28 points in 32 games this season for the Terriers, include a week when he had 7 points in 3 games. Six of those points were goals, including a natural hat trick and Nieto was named Hockey East co-player of the week. In fact, Nieto has been named Hockey East top performer 5 times this season.

As of today, Nieto leads the Terriers in goals (15 G) and is in a 3-way tie for 2nd on the team in points (29). Last season, he averaged a little over a point a game (42 points in 37 games) and had 26 assists.

So essentially what that means is that when Nieto is not on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G, he’s busy being a boss.

Nieto is foxy because he is a super fun and talented player to watch. He has great speed and in four strides can accelerate past opposing players and get to the net.

He has a “nose for the net” as they say, and if he gets the jump on the defender and gets the puck into the offensive zone, there is a pretty good chance that he is going to finish. He has a great release and is becoming more confident shooting the puck as evidence by his 103 shots on net this season.

As a season ticket holder, I get to watch him play almost every weekend and each time he touches the puck, you get this little flutter in your tummy like you know something really awesome is about to happen .

Like scoring goals while you’re getting hauled down
courtesy of terrierhockey.tumblr.com

Last year, BU lost some key talent who decided to go pro after their junior year and I am wishing and hoping and praying that Nieto doesn’t leave as well.

He very well could wear the “C” for the Terriers next season and has all the makings of a captain. Another year playing at the collegiate level would afford him the opportunity to develop physically as well as developing his skills and leadership, making him all the more ready for the NHL.

Rumor has it that Jonathan Toews is his favorite player. No secret how we feel about JT so we will say this – if Nieto’s game develops into anything remotely close to Captain Serious’, it’s going to be pretty freakin’ awesome.

Watch out, guys. Serious hockey player coming through.

In 2011, Nieto was drafted by the San Jose Sharks in the 2nd round (47th overall).

Well played, Sharks. Not only are we super excited that he could become friends with Jumbo and Logan “Rookie of our Lives” Couture but also, because we’re betting that Nieto’s cornhole skills are way better than Patrick Marleau’s…but not better than my brother’s.

It’s been scientifically proven that being named a Foxy Friday brings you good luck.

Tomorrow night happens to be Terriers’ final game of the season.

Another hattie?

Just sayin….

Follow Matt on twitter at @matt_nieto

Comments 4 Comments
Categories Uncategorized
Author Chuck

Skates, Plates & Prom Dates

March 8, 2013 - Posted in Glamour Shots, Pants Loves

Sweetie, your prom date is here.

You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew. My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago. You know, the one where they get dressed up and ~~try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor~~ give us something to blog about.

nealer

While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.

Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job? Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin. Here’s my resume.

Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.

Kris…

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr. Revel in the awkward.

Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950’s diner – on skates. They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine. So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease. They could pull it off.

(Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey. The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

score 2

Unless you think this is hockey:

Yes, you. You jerk.

No I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

I do support this, of course. Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”

Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard. People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.

My phone could hardly refresh fast enough. Wore the lady behind me right out.

And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion? I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants. Duck and cover.

I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.

Sorry, Sad Ginger. (NO I’M NOT.)

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ! Having a year! 2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead. [CBS Sports] He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.

The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis. If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night. From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly? 13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

Yeah, that’s right.

Comments 8 Comments
Categories Glamour Shots, Pants Loves
Author Pants

On the Hottest Ticket Now

March 7, 2013 - Posted in Pants Loves, We're Mental

Knowing that Stamkos, Neal and Tavares are friends off the ice, the imaginary chirping that goes on in my head over the NHL goal scoring leaderboard is tremendous. For anyone who’s ever enjoyed NFL QBs Talkin’ on Facebook, I bring you this.