Loosen Up My Buttons

We should get paid to test the critical mass of Twitter’s servers because when things like this happen, we do it for free.

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Jonathan Toews in today’s SPLASH Magazine from the Chicago Sun-Times.

Is he in the shower?  What kind of newspaper insert is this?  It’s like the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog you have to be 18 to buy.

And who perfectly tucked in one side of his shirt?  IS THAT A JOB?

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I don’t get this one, except he’s checking out his own rear view and that’s something we can all understand.

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Cute, cute, his forehead is enormous, cute, cute… wasn’t this just taking place in a locker room?

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Oh yeah, it was.

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Tight jeans and boots?

Any second here Jon’s going to announce his debut country album, “Singing in the Shower” featuring the hit single, “Foggin’ Up the Mirror.”

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You were thinking those jeans are too light, right?  A little too country?  Well they make ’em tight in other colors, rejoice.

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Apparently buttons are out.  We’re okay with that.

j7Check out the hands-in-pockets action.

You want to read the article?  LIAR.  No one reads Playboy about Jon for the article!  You can have some quotes here though, then get back to admiring.

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The feature isn’t online (yet), but we’ll post it if someone sends it our way!

You all owe @alisonsykora for the emergency iPad screencaps.

PS: Go read the Toews Tumblr feed.  It’s like a 1D concert spiked with vodka in there right now.

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Leave a Reply

  1. Deanna Reply

    His hands fit in his pockets. Clearly those jeans are NOT tight enough.

  2. Brittany Reply

    Oh my god. I’ll never recover.

    • Ashley Reply

      what brittany said.

  3. If all else fails, I just screen capped the article.

  4. If you need me, I will be face down in a pool of my own tears. TWO DAYS. I HAVE BEEN A MESS OVER THIS FOR TWO DAYS. Three if you count Friday night when Amanda sent me the one of the tamer pictures and I lost my shit in a restaurant full of young urban professionals.

    • Seriously. This is just RUDE. How DARE he?

      • He probably saw the James Neal golf course photo shoot pictures and knew he had to step up his game.

        Sidney.. we’re waiting.

  5. px Reply

    but WHICH tumblr feed? there are a gazillion! (which is reason #34895 I dislike tumblr)

  6. I’ve just woken up from my Jonathan Toews button-induced coma. And all I have to say is:

    March 9, 2013 – the day that photographic evidence came to light that JT stripped in the shower. At least in my mind he did. Sufficed to say, Jess and I will NEVER recover from this moment.

    All my lady parts have been rioting for the last three days over this moment. God d@mn you, Tazer.

    • “All my lady parts have been rioting for the last three days over this moment.”

      Just spit out my water all over my computer screen.

      • Lindsay and I use this phrase. A lot.

        • You don’t ever want to see what Jess and I say in our Twitter DMs. Never ever ever. You’d never ever get any water, Erica.

  7. I’ve seen these about 700 times over the weekend and I just giggled like a schoolgirl at my desk as I was scrolling by. The power of the Toews Face.

  8. “Any second here Jon’s going to announce his debut country album, “Singing in the Shower” featuring the hit single, “Foggin’ Up the Mirror.””

    I might actually by that album.

    • It should come as a two disc set, one in english and one in french.

      • Um, ans obviously come with a DVD/BluRay.