On the Hottest Ticket Now

Knowing that Stamkos, Neal and Tavares are friends off the ice, the imaginary chirping that goes on in my head over the NHL goal scoring leaderboard is tremendous.  For anyone who’s ever enjoyed NFL QBs Talkin’ on Facebook, I bring you this.

stammer

Stammer –  I’ve got 17 goals in 23 games.  How you guys doing back there?

stammer

Nealer – I’ve got 14.  And I’m hot.

16

John – I’ve got 14 too!

22

Nealer – And Geno’s back.  I hate being all aloney on my owney.

neal geno

John – You have a whole team, Nealer.

Carts – Hi guys.

cartsReal picture. I swear.

Nealer – Without Geno, it’s just a hollow, empty shell.

John – You’re calling Crosby a hollow, empty shell?

5Excuse me?

Neal – He doesn’t communicate like Geno.

Stammer – You mean he speaks English.

Nealer – Don’t be jealous.

15

Nealer – So grouchy.  What, get a sunburn at Disney World on your off day?

Stammer – My team’s lost a lot of games lately.

10

Nealer – Don’t worry, there’s no one in the stands to watch.

John pats Stammer’s arm in sympathy.

Carts – Hello?

New Jersey Devils v Los Angeles Kings - Game Six

Neal – La la la, my boyfriend’s back…

John – Did I mention I’m tied for third in goals?

21

Neal (loudly) – We heard you!

Stammer – You’ll be fourth when you wake up tomorrow.

John (grumbles) – I’ll still be on Long Island when I wake up tomorrow.

21

Carts –  HELLO?

Stammer – What the hell are you doing here?

Carts – Being second in goals.

carts3

Everyone – What?  From where?!

9

Carts waves paper.

Stammer – You have 15 goals?

Carts, glares at Steven – I hear blonds have more fun.

Nealer – Ummmmmmmm….

12

John – Uh, what’s California like?

6

Carts – All silver and shiny, like you could just drink out of it.

carts4

Stammer – We have shiny days…

14

… sometimes.

11

Neal – Where’s your boyfriend?

Carts – Please.  I was bromancing when you were living with Brad Richards.

Nealer – We had a bromance!

richards

Carts (scoffs) – There’s only one Richards in this League, and he’s mine.

carts6

Stammer – Whatever.  Second place is the first loser.

Carts – Does your name start with a J?  No?  Then shut up.

carts7

John – Yeah. Sticks out tongue.

tavares

Nealer – Well Pants has a James Neal shirt.

Stammer – She has a Stamkos shirt too.

13

John – Why do your pants wear shirts?

Stammer – Go eat your ice cream, John.

3

John – Hmph. Fine.

tavares2

Carts – Shirts are for losers.

carts8

Stammer – Just wait.  We’ll see who takes it home in the end.

stamkos

Carts – You should know by now… I always take it home.

carts9

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Leave a Reply

  1. Beth Reply

    BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Thanks Pants, I needed a good laugh today 😀

  2. Pure. Comedic. Genius. And you know I alllllways love a good dose of Carter. Any shots of him holding the Cup totally MAKE my day. MMMM.

  3. Casey Reply

    This is exactly how I envision their chirping with an epic Mike Richards tweet at the end. classic.

  4. Rebecca Guilbert Reply

    oh man…love it!

  5. Alex Reply

    “John – Why do your pants wear shirts?”

    BAHAHAHAHA I AM DYING lmao

  6. Heather Reply

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA Just BRILLIANT!!! “Go eat your ice cream, John.” *SNORT*

    You know you’ve created a monster & will HAVE to do this again & again….right? :o)