Holding Out for a Hero

The playoffs are a tough time, when I want all my favorite players to have transcendent, legendary, career-making experiences… while their teams still lose. But someone has to win every round, and so it may as well have happened like this: John Tavares, middle school science teacher, registered tax lawyer and upholder of dad-styles, scores to tie […]

NHL Man Madness: WINNER

Drum roll! The votes are in… and it was not really that close. NHL MAN MADNESS 2016 WINNER: SIDNEY CROSBY   66% of the vote went to Sid. He wold clearly have preferred 87%, but this is a higher percentage than he got in wins over Letang, Ekblad and Price. What can I say? We Eastern Conference girls have […]

NHL Man Madness: FINAL

Over 1000 votes are in, and we are down to this:   The NHL Man Madness 2016 Bracket Challenge Final: Sidney Crosby v Jamie Benn   Wow, that is a lot of yes. It’s the best hypothetical situation ever – so great, it can only be summed up by our spirit animal Emma Stone performing Lip Sync Battle […]

NHL Man Madness: Final Four

Almost 1400 votes. 1400! You guys should campaign for something in real life, because you are crushing it here. Or use your powers for good instead of these very important hockey-related matters. Here we are, at four. That’s fewer names than you’re allowed on your “island”, your “celebrity five” or your “get out of monogamy free […]

NHL Man Madness: Round 2 – Vote On

Well that was a lot of nothing. Sorry, Professor Perfect Bergeron fans, but Carey Price dismantled him in the run-off category.   So we proceed as before – NHL Man Madness 2016 Quarterfinal: VOTE HERE   To aid in these decisions, here’s a helpful visual guide. Carey Price v Steven Stamkos   I’ve never paid much […]

NHL Man Madness: Round 2

The first results are in! A total of 534 votes were cast in the first round, which means 10 of you each voted about 53 times. I thank you!   There you have it, folks. Gabe the Babe dispatched Chris Higgins’ abs, taking home the trophy for biggest win with 88% of the vote. Disney Prince […]

NHL Man Madness 2016

The last – and only – time I gave a rat’s ass about NCAA March Madness basketball was a) when Sidney Crosby was at the next table and b) I was lying. But this important bracket challenge had me excited: BarDown: Pretty Hockey Player Madness 2016   Until I tried it. And the problems began. Josi […]

Goals and Goals

I pity the fool who answers the NHL TV customer service line when I call today. Well, the person won’t be a fool, nor can they actually do anything about the disaster of a changeover from Game Center Live. But still. I don’t pay $150 a year to miss Sidney Crosby hat tricks! Last night, Sid […]

The Kids Would Be Proud

Once upon a time there was an All-Star Weekend that reminded me how much I love hockey.  Well, that happens every year. But this weekend, like so much of this season, I didn’t actually get to watch anything. GAH! What follows is the best I was able to mash up from Twitter and my imagination… […]

Cruel Summer

In this holiday season of lists, allow me to read from a list that I keep all year: Times I Don’t Care That You Insist on Wearing  Chain   That’s it. That’s the whole list. I will also begin a new list: Reasons We Have 47 Twitter Notifications Before 10 AM The single listed item will […]

Only Weird if it Doesn’t Work

Today really got away from me – because I spent it recovering from last night, when this happened:   Instant, full-volume inner monologue:   It’s a understatement to say  the Crosbot is off to a slow start this season. With 3 G and 7 A, his 10 points rank him 134th in the League. This from a […]

Stars in 2016

It’s election time in the US – wait, not really. We have another year of this crap! But one hockey squad isn’t missing the chance to fast track their big campaign: The Dallas Stars really want to be your favorite team. Campaign Strategy #1: Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin have all the points.   Combined, Seguin & Benn have 44 […]

Sharp Dressed Men

Forgive me for having been away, as now I am talking about all the old things. I’m like your drunk aunt at Thanksgiving who starts telling a story someone else just finished telling. Trust me, you won’t mind hearing this one twice. Sharp Magazine wants men in Canada to have nice clothes and a classy lifestyle – […]

Pens and… that’s a Pig

GAAAHHHH! The start of hockey season is racing past while I am so busy at work. Leave it to this to get me out of the office…   IT’S A PIG! Named Truffles! It is in the Pens & Paws annual animal rescue calendar and isn’t it precious?! You can see the whole video here. […]

Who’s Scruffy Looking?

October, you beauty. We wait all year, and usually you arrive with a terrifying array of fresh mug shots or ransom photos calling themselves roster head shots. But this year, you have arrived in style.   Take this in: Sidney Crosby woke up on roster photo day and did not shave. Good gosh. He probably ironed the […]

Tyler Tuesday: Beep Beep

Beep Beep! Who’s got the keys to the Jeep? Vrrrroooooommmm! Tyler recently shot a commercial for Starwood Motors in Dallas. You can watch them here and here but fair warning – they are hella awkward. Name me a single hockey player commerical that isn’t.   Apparently Starwood Motors sells kevlar-coated Jeeps.  Yes. Kevlar. As in the same […]

Tyler Tuesday: Magically Delicious

Chuck here, bringing you a much needed dose of Tyler Tuesday – St.Patrick’s Day Edition! While my RLJ (real life job) has kept me pretty busy, fret not, my little leprechauns! Today, I have the perfect Tyler-size pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.   Tyler Seguin is lucky charms, people.     P.S. If […]

Jackpot! (I had to.)

The Penguins traded their annual Skates & Plates waiter gear for other ill-fitting suits this year and hosted Aces & Ice Casino Night last night. It looked like the World’s Most Awkward Wedding Party. But two drinks in, the bridesmaids are yelling, “DIBS!” and making shanks out of bobby pins. The dads, like Alison’s dad there on […]

Foxy Friday: Tristan Harper

47 feet of snow on the ground. People jumping off their roofs into snow banks.  Wind chills of -20F. While I suffer through this historic Boston winter, I got a little something to warm me (and you) up. (full disclosure: I am writing this post after a copious amount of sake. I am not responsible for my actions. […]

You love Jonathan Toews

I can’t resist hockey players and kids, and no one can resist Girl Scout cookies. Not the Blackhawks, not Andrew Shaw and not Jonathan Toews. Video: #WhatsYourGoal: Alexis wants to sell cookies to Jonathan Toews In the video, Captain CharmingPants is back, and this time, he irons. Which is the only thing on Earth he isn’t […]