The last – and only – time I gave a rat’s ass about NCAA March Madness basketball was a) when Sidney Crosby was at the next table and b) I was lying. But this important bracket challenge had me excited: BarDown: Pretty Hockey Player Madness 2016

Vote in the Bardown Bracket HERE.

Until I tried it. And the problems began.

• Josi vs Gabe the Babe in the first round?! Can I just win the loser and go home happy?
• I don’t know 60% of the Pacific Division contenders. They play hockey past my bedtime.
• Tyler Seguin vs. Patrick Sharp? Like, you’re teammates on the train to the Capital, but once you hit the arena, it’s every handsome man for himself? I hope they refuse at the end and hold hands.
• Paul Martin made the bracket? Hey San Jose!
• Sidney Crosby vs. Jared Boll. Prince Charming vs. the Wicked Queen’s eyebrows.
• And then it was over. NO STAMKOS? NO TAVARES? What kind of rigged crap is this?

Much love for Uncle Joe.

So, I created a real, better bracket for us. With the help of everyone on Twitter during the Pens/Caps game last night, we present to you…

WUYS NHL Man Madness 2016

Now, it’s not perfect. I had to pick someone from every team, which meant only a few teams could send multiple handsome faces. Many competed, few made the bracket. I divided East vs West and used a random generator to seed the players.  The rest, as they say, is up to you.

VOTE HERE: WUYS NHL Man Madness 2016 Bracket Challenge (You don’t have to enter your email. Just hit Begin.)

UPDATE: If you voted before 10PM EST on Sunday night, I forgot to include Jamie Benn vs. Jordan Eberle. Probably because that’s like choosing cake or a different cake. I mean, how can you want just one? You can try here, in Oops, Jamie Benn vs Jordan Eberle.

You have until Wednesday night to vote, and we’ll move into the Semifinals on Thursday!

You jump, I… stay on this door and survive.