Report to Detention

- Posted in Randomness

So… last night the Pens’ Deryk Engelland mowed down Chicago’s Marcus Kruger with a questionably high hit.

Personally, I’m going with SHANABANNED for this one.  Eggo does sort of leave his feet and he’s definitely above shoulder height.  Kruger’s head is down, but it goes down and stay down before Eggo lines him up. Engelland could  and should have avoided this hit.

Eggo was not penalized on the ice, so the Hawks’  John Scott put on his stripes and fought him.  And, well… according to HockeyFights.com, Scott is undefeated in 19 regular season NHL fights over 3+ years.  He did not disappoint.

Scott received a 2 min instigating minor, a fighting major and a 10 minute misconduct.  Engelland got 5 for taking a  beating.  On the resulting Penguins power play, Chris Kunitz scored his 12th goal of the season.  It was the first of Malkin’s three helpers on the night and what a beauty.

Kruger took a few shifts after the hit, and came back out for the second period but did not play.  He will be re-evaulated today.  If the Hawks a) let him stay on the ice and b) let him come back out, I don’t see they were very worried about it in real time.  Symptoms are not always immediate, of course.  But what about the quiet room and all that?  I say Kruger should have gone right away.  Not that it bears on the penalties or possible suspensions assessed, but I thought we were being more careful that this.

What do you think?  Disco Dan says “It was a full body check.” [link]  I bet Shanahan will lock him up for a game or two, but so far no word from the NHL on a visit to the Principal’s Office.

Udpate: Haven’t seen it officially from the Blackhawks, but Kruger is apparently concussed and out tonight:

Shout Out to the Boys in the Black and Gold

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Like a Boss, Newsies

I think the Bruins are the best team in hockey.

Yea. I said it.

The Boston Bruins are the best team in the NHL.

Now before you start heckling me and throwing rotten tomatoes and heads of iceberg lettuce,  just hear me out for second.

I know that I may be slightly biased here when it comes to the Bruins but as a “hockey writer”, I do have the ability to look at this with some measure of objectivity.

So how do I dare make such a bold statement?  Let’s look at the facts…

  • They have the best goaltending tandem in the NHL.
    • I DEFY to name another goalie super duo better that Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask.  They are straight up domination.  Rask is #2 in GAA (1.82). Thomas is #3 (1.84).  Thomas is #2 in Save % (.943). Rask is #3 (.939).  Thomas is #2 in wins (16) and in a 3-way tie for 1st in shutouts (4).   By having two stellar goalies, the Bruins have a distinct advantage through the regular season because you can rest Thomas and give him a night off while still preserving your chance to win even with Rask in the net.  There is not that ‘Oh crap” moment with the backup comes in.  With the B’s, even the backup is pretty outstanding.  Also, Rask is only 24 years old so just think about what he’ll be like in three years.  Thomas is the present.  Rask is the future.
  • They are as deep as the ocean is wide.
    • Although Chris Kelly does look like he reads “The Economist” and you know Andrew Ference watches documentaries on the National Geographic Channel, I’m not talking about an intellectual depth. I’m talking about the We-Have-Four-Lines-That-Can-Light-It-Up sort of depth.  Every single line of the Bruins offense can score goals. Yes, even the Mucking & Grinding 4th line led by Shawn Thornton.  Hell, even the much maligned Benoit Pouliot is scoring goals (he’s got 6). 1st line not producing?  It’s cool.  We’ll come at you with the 2nd and 3rd lines. Coach Claude has a plethora of talent from which he can craft his lines.  He has young talent like Jordan Caron and Zach Hamill that he can call up from Providence at a moment’s notice who can slip into the Bruins’ lineup without missing a beat.

      I score goals. I feel love. My hockey powers are renewed.

      Woo hoo Carey Price. How'd ya like that one? Pretty sweet, right?

  • They are low-profile.
    • While the Bruins are an upper echelon NHL team, no one really cares about them. They aren’t the object of rampant fan-girling (or boying). They’ll leave that to Jonathan Toews and Sidney Crosby.  They aren’t gracing the pages of GQ (although they certainly could).  They don’t have a flashy coach or super star face-of-the-NHL type player (Chara might come close but if you ask me, Patrice Bergeron deserves to be up there). They are just a straight up, solid hockey club who win hockey games with skill, speed, and quiet tenacity. And an occasional pugilistic endeavor.

I know that we are only a little over a third of the way through the season, but I don’t think that I’m alone in my thinking that the Bruins have the potential to repeat as Stanley Cup Champions.  Now I know it is nigh impossible to repeat and maybe I just jinxed myself and I know it hasn’t been done since the Red Wings did it in the 1997-98 season, but I’m holding out this little sliver of hope that it could happen.

And why shouldn’t it?  If you get a chance, just watch them play a few games.  Instead of turning on the Pens, or the Caps, or the Hawks game, turn on the Bruins.

I guarantee you’ll like the hockey you see.

Dear Santa…

- Posted in Newsies, We Love

My best friend and I used to debate what kind of accident would be required to get Extreme Home Makeover to choose our apartment in NYC.  If she pushed me down the stairs?  If I loosened a board so she fell through into the pizza place?  You don’t *want* these things to happen, but the prospect of a newly rebuilt apartment was pretty tempting.  Also, we are terrible people.

Don’t pretend you didn’t consider the same.

Now the thought has crossed my mind again and I blame the Caps.

The annual Family-to-Family holiday gift presentation was yesterday.  Players from the Caps, Wizards and Mystics visit families who are having a tough time and bring them Christmas cheer.  It’s so darned nice, like every time a bell rings someone gives iCarly the microphone.

Look who was there!  SANTA IS OBVIOUSLY REAL and he got my letter(s).

Nicky: Wait, this isn’t the nice list.

Mike: That list is boring.  Next stop, WUYS offices.

Watch the adorable video here and Happy Holidays!!

Mikey Monday: Still Sore

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

It’s Monday again, and still no timetable to Mike Green’s return to the ice.  He apparently saw a specialist for his groin injury, depending on who you ask, and joined the Caps in Colorado.  He didn’t skate there, but today…

Mike has missed 17 straight games – wah waaaaaah.  This means that again, there is nothing to post.  So we’re getting in the wayback machine to visit something that will never happen again (now that everyone knows I live here):

And this from ’10, where Nicky B tells everyone, “Well, I’m single.”  No wonder he didn’t show at this year’s Caps Convention panel with Carly & Alzner.  Mike’s probably still mad about this.

Remember when the Caps won 7 straight to start the year?  They haven’t been able to string together more than two wins in a row since then.  They won all 8 games Mike has played in this season.  The way things are going, we wonder if they can win 8 more.  Something needs to happen (and quick) so the Caps can get their swag back.

Up Close and Personal

- Posted in We Love

I don’t know where the last month has gone and I have completely neglected to put up this guest post by the lovely Jessica W!  Since @amandalitty is going to her first ever NHL game tomorrow – Blackhawks vs. Penguins (way to peak too soon!) – here’s a play-by-play of Jess getting to see her beloved Captain Serious in action.  Apologies that this is outdated but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.

The Oilers Are Not The Canucks (from Nov. 19)

It’s not easy being a Chicago fan in Vancouver, but last Wednesday, I was at Rogers Arena when my lovely Blackhawks put the Canucks on the bus and took them to school. It was a thing of beauty.

 Thinking that I had finally broken my curse, wherein I cannot have nice things such as my favorite team beating my least favorite team, I packed up my Toews jersey and headed to Oil Country. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the frigid beauty that is Alberta?

"Eat your heart out, Fauxnadians!"

After their sexy, sexy win in Vancouver, the 1st-placed Hawks were coming to Edmonton following a rough 5-2 loss to the 27th-placed Calgary Flames. The Oilers, despite their hot start to the season, were looking to end a 4-game losing streak which had landed them in 13th place.

The oldest player on the Oilers roster. (Seriously though, this is my nephew... could you DIE?!)

Here is where I add my disclaimer: I like the Oilers. A lot. I’m pretty sure they are my second favorite team. So, if what was about to happen had to happen, I was glad that it was to the Oilers.

As any good fangirl will tell you, warm-ups are the best part of the game. Usually it’s because you’re allowed to stand next to the glass, even if you have nosebleed seats. If you have have not experienced the warm-ups, I highly recommend it. Because this happens:

Oh HAI Patrick Sharp! Whatcha doin'? Oh, just having a chit chat with the equipment dude and being the HANDSOMEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE? That's cool, please carry on.

And this happens:

"Hhhhhhnnnnggggghhhhhhggggnnnnhhhhh."

Actually, let’s have more of that, shall we?

I suffer from a condition wherein the sight of Jonathan Toews in the flesh renders me a catatonic mess. That is the only thing stopping me from climbing the glass.

Oh, and did I mention I had BALLER seats?

Yes, I *may* have PVR'd Hockey Night In Canada just to look for myself on TV.

Well, as I’m sure you all know by now, after the puck dropped, all H-E-Double Hockey Sticks broke loose. In short, the Oilers played well and the Hawks crapped the bed. It was pretty embarrassing. To the point where my cousin came back after the second intermission, tossed a Taylor Hall jersey in my lap and said “You better put this on.”.  Anyway, Canadian beer is a lot stronger than American beer, so here is what I can remember:

Toews takes face-offs like a boss.

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is an ultrasound, but he is really, really ridiculously good at hockey (5 Assists!)

Corey Crawford always looks like he’s going to cry, but when he’s ACTUALLY about to cry? It is quite possibly the saddest thing in the world. It was heartbreaking. If I was going to climb the glass for anything, it would have been to give him a hug.

Don't worry Crow... you're getting on a plane to Vegas in an hour. Go. Have a beer. Look at some naked ladies. You'll feel better. I promise.

Taylor Hall is hot. He shouldn’t be – he looks like an orangutan and a goldfish had a baby. Everything about his face is wrong, but somehow so right.

Ladies love a hatty!

Finally… you guys… Jonathan Toews watches the KissCam!

I wish I could find a nice girl like Kaner did.... *sighs*

Thank you to the lovely ladies of What’s Up, Ya Sieve? for letting me guest-post on their FABULOUS blog! Usually I just spout my nonsense in 140 characters or less on the Twitters (@jfrancesw) and this was my very first attempt at a blog. I hope it was up to the awesome WUYS standard!

Foxy Friday: Bobby Ryan

- Posted in Foxy Friday

New Jersey’s own Bobby “Silver” Ryan is a gem.  He could be Foxy Friday based solely on his Tweets or on this photo alone.  But no, Bobby has both.

We never stood a chance.

There were 1.2 billion trade rumors about Bobby earlier this season, but he is staying put in Anaheim.  This team has a lot of fun even if they don’t win as much as they used to.  Case in point: Hula hooping (and Getzlaf’s little dog, hahahahahaha.)

You can YouTube the Ryan vs. Ryan videos from the 2010 Olympics – they are gold, even if this Bobby isn’t.  And you’ve gotta get Bobby’s Life Lessons from Twitter:

Not surprisingly, Bobby’s pretty good with girls:

And he knows how to have a good time:

We agree with Bobby on a great many things:

Except when he is Team Edward:

He made up for it by Tweeting this photo:

Not bad considering...

All this aside, Bobby Ryan had a seriously traumatic and troubled childhood.  You can read about it here and just marvel at how a kid came from this to seem so nice and normal.  His hockey talent is a gift, but he overcame a lot for the chance to put it to work.

Bobby has 10 goals and 7 assists on the season.  Anaheim is seriously struggling, with the second-worst record in the League and only 23 points.  They hired Bruce Boudreau fresh from the firing squad, so hopefully BB can turn things around for this team.  They certainly have the talent, the sense of humor and (in my experience) the coldest arena in the NHL.  They won the Cup in ’07 – wow, it seems like much longer.  Those of us who’ve lived in SoCal could get behind another Ducks victory and we’d like it to include this guy.

Homework: Gongshow Hockey’s visit to Bobby’s house in Idaho [link].

Breakin' It Down: ImPACT Testing

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Newsies

Here on Injury Island, we have a whole mess of NHLers suffering from concussions.

Intern Jeff Skinner, Sidney Crosby, Claude Giroux, Chris Pronger, Mike Richards, Milan Michalek, Marc Staal, Joni Pitkanen, just to name a few.

(We’re really upset about Jeffy thought. Our office is a mess and we just ran out of Mexicola.)

We miss you. Come back soon. We're thirsty.

With all talk about concussions, hockey coaches, writers and pundits you might have heard the term “ImPACT Test.”

So what exactly is the ImPACT test?  What does it test?  Why should we care?

Apologies ahead of time because this post is long and chock full of information, but as true hockey fans, I feel strongly that it is something that we should all be educated about.

Knowledge is power, people.

What the heck is this “ImPACT Test”?

  • ImPACT stands for Immediate Post-Concussion Assessment and Cognitive Testing.
  • It  is a computerized concussion evaluation system developed in the early 1990s.
  • It is the most widely used computer-based testing program in the world, and is utilized by high schools, collegiate, and professional sports to assess players who may have a concussion.
  • It is a 20-minute test that measures the cognitive functioning in athletes including attention span, working memory, attention time, response variability, non-verbal problem solving, and reaction time.
  • The test is administered by an athletic trainer, team doctor, or team psychologist who has completed training in how to administer the test.
  • The test should be taken before any injury has occurred, say at the beginning of the season to determine the player’s “baseline” score.  The test should be re-administered 24 to 72 AFTER injury/concussion has occurred.
  • The team trainer or doctor is able to use this test as part of a more broad process to objectively evaluate a player’s post-injury condition.  It helps them to track a player’s recovery with a set of measurable scores and hard data.
The Test Itself
The test has a total of 5 sections.
  • Section 1 requires the athlete to input basic demographic information and descriptive information through a series of easy-to-follow instructional screens.
  • Section 2  asks questions about the athlete’s most recent concussion date, hours slept last night, and current medications. Then the athlete is to rate the current severity of 22 concussion symptoms via a 7-point Likert scale (0 being “none” , and 6 being “severe).
    • Concussion symptoms evaluated are:
      • Headache
      • Nausea
      • Vomiting
      • Drowsiness
      • Numbness 0r tingling
      • Dizziness
      • Balance problems
      • Sleeping more than usual
      • Sensitivity to light
      • Sensitivity to noise
      • Feeling slowed down
      • Feeling as if ‘in a fog’
      • Difficulty concentrating
      • Difficulty remembering
      • Trouble falling asleep
      • More emotional than usual
      • Irritability
      • Sadness
      • Nervousness
      • Other
  • Section 3 involves the Neuropsychological tests, and is broken up into 5 modules:
    • Word Memory – evaluation of attention and verbal memory
    • Design Memory – evaluation of attention and visual recognition memory
    • Xs and O’s – measures visual working memory and how fast the player can visually process images
      • for those of you who watched HBO’s 24/7 last night, you might have seen Claude Giroux doing this test after his knock to the head from Wayne Simmons.
    • Symbol Matching – evaluates visual processing speed, learning and memory
    • Color Match – measures impulse control and response inhibition.
    • Three Letter Memory – measures working memory and visual-motor response speed
  • Section 4 allows the player to input details about their concussion like point of contact, symptoms, description of injury, even info about the type of helmet and mouth guard they were wearing.
  • Section 5 is the actually test scores themselves.   There are 5 ImPACT test scores that are displayed graphically.  Trainers and/or Team doctors can then use this data to determine what additional steps need to be taken with the player.

So all of this is all well and good, but the larger question remains….

Why should we, as hockey fans, care about any of this?

Aside from the obvious reason which is making ourselves more educated and knowledgeable hockey fans, we should care because this test strives to protect players.   To protect them from returning to play too soon. To protect their health, their well-being, and most importantly, their quality of life.   Guess you could say that the test also protects teams who have made substantial investments in their athletes in the hopes of attaining the penultimate prize.  But when it comes down to it, I’d like to believe that no NHL team, owner, or coach with jeopardize a player’s quality of life to win a trophy.

They may be gruff and rough on the outside but on the inside, hockey people are just as warm and fuzzy as the rest of us.

They care about each other and we should care about them.

And the winner is…

- Posted in All Star Game, I'm Always Right, Newsies, We Love

I missed 24/7 last night because I fell asleep re-watching Fright Night with Colin Farrell.  I mean he’s in the movie, he wasn’t with me.  And the movie’s great.  But I will have to catch up on the Rangers/Flyers this weekend, and from the sound of your Tweets there is plenty worth watching!

Another thing I’ve missed up until now is the NHL All-Star Game voting.

I restricted my choices to people currently playing.  Obviously I believe Crosby should be in – he was more of an all-star in his few games this year than most people are in a whole season.  But if he’s well, he’ll get in.  (See the leaderboard here.)   I deliberately sent my votes where they can count.

1) Nicklas Backstrom – If Ovi gets in and Nicky doesn’t, someone will receive a strongly worded letter written in cut-out magazine letters.

2) Jonathan Toews – scored his 300th career point last night, overall superstar and BAMF.  You don’t see a lake named after anyone else.

3) James Neal – needs no explanation. HONK!

4) Duncan Keith – Did you see him rob Matt Cullen on a shorthanded breakaway last night?  Norris Trophy, what?

5) Shea Weber – 100+ MPH shot, massive blocking body, all-star playoff beard, friends with Dierks Bentley.  Scored from the cheap seats (and we mean in the net!).  Haven’t seen it?  Puck Daddy has it, they always do [link].

6) Marc-Andre Fleury – Forever holding it down in the back, never knowing who might be available to stand in front of him every night.  And for the off chance he’ll spin like a ballerina or sass Carey Price.

You can vote up to 30 times at vote.nhl.com.  I’ll let you guys win the trip to Ottawa, because I’ll be on my honeymoon until that Saturday. I’m missing the draft and  skills competitions in real-time, so Chuck will have to man the Twitter and express all of my squee-tastic opinions.

I Googled this photo, which led me to another WUYS post. Of course.

Bright Lights, Big City

- Posted in Newsies, Next Generation

Tonight is the premiere of HBO’s 24/7 Flyers/Rangers: Road to the NHL Winter Classic.  And since I’ve re-watched Game of Thrones into oblivion, I will be tuning in to get my $10 worth for December.

The WUYS crowd won’t be as excited as last season – including me, since I actively hate both of these teams.  But if anything can open my heart to the Rangers or Flyers, it’s 24/7.  Remember last year?  I was still trying to hate the Caps, exhausted from fighting my obvious fall from grace.  24/7 was the last nail in my Mike Green-shaped coffin.  And now look at us.

In 2010, the Pens and Caps storyline played great on TV – one team winning consistently and the other losing every game.  This year, the Rangers and Flyers are both playing really well.  The show should have a different flavor showcasing two teams at the top of their game.

Both teams have marquee players on the injury list, most specifically Philly whose Claude Giroux went down last week.  24/7’s inclusion of injured players, the recoveries and attempts to get back on the ice really rounded out the show.  I’m looking forward to that.

What do you guys think?  Excited?  Max Talbot was a star last year, he’s back this season will the Flyers.  Who will be the breakout personalities from this series, and will it be enough to make you care?  We promise you won’t be bored if you play the Yahoo! Puck Daddy 24/7 Drinking Game, 2011 Edition.

HBO show link is here for all your procrastinating pleasure.

Injury Island

- Posted in Newsies

Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys Injury Island.  At this point it would be easier to list NHL players who are not hurt, but we don’t want to jinx anyone.  There are still two-thirds of the season left to play.

Sidney Crosby is out again with concussion-like symptoms.  He passed the ImPACT test but says he doesn’t feel 100%.  In this case, we appreciate the caution and honesty.  And the hilarious idea that he could be less than perfect.  He’ll be keeping also concussed Kris Letang company in the press box.

Zdeno Chara sprained his knee Saturday in an injury that apparently looked worse than it was.  Coach Julien says he’s day-to-day, though doubtful for tonight vs. Los Angeles. [link]

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his injured groin.  I could make so many jokes if I weren’t crying.  Nicky used all the tissues and I’m wiping tears on my sleeve now.  Mike is skating and his spirits are high (a Twitter-verified fact), but he has played in only 8 games this season.  The Washington Express had a big, sad story on him today [link, page 9].

Claude Giroux, possibly the only ginger human I don’t like, is out indefinitely with a concussion.  He was injured by friendly fire on Saturday when Wayne Simmonds’ knee caught his head as Simmonds attempted to jump over Giroux’s fallen body.  [link]

The Islanders activated Evgeni Nabakov from injured reserve yesterday; apparently his groin injury is healed.  Good thing because Rick DiPietro (go BU) is out with the same problem. [link – and why did the Sacramento Bee pick up this story?]

Intern Jeff Skinner owes a few dollars to the Liar Jar, we think.  It was reported Friday that Jeff had “flu-like symptoms,” while everyone thought he might be concussed from a hit he took vs. EDM on Wednesday.  Coach Muller says they’re wrong, but Skinns is questionable for tonight vs. Toronto. [link]

Don't try to distract us! We are really worried!

Sabres Mike Weber, Paul Gaustad and Patrick Kaleta are returning to the lineup, which still leaves them with approximately 212 injured players. [link]

Foxy Friday Mike Richards gave his first interview since sustaining a head injury (unofficial concussion) on December 1. [link]  Even after the hit he can’t stop talking trash and getting in people’s faces.

Brian Gionta (BC sucks) has missed one game with a lower body injury, and is expected to miss tonight.  The Habs currently have 8 (hundred) players out of the lineup. [link]

The Cancuks will get Dan Hamhuis and Cody Hodgson back tonight, leaving them with 10 other injured players.

AND…

Last but not least...

Calgary’s Alex Tanguay had the flu. He’s better.  That’s my lobster!

Best Week Ever: Patrick Sharp

- Posted in Randomness, We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Patrick Sharp has pretty much been having the BEST. WEEK. EVER.

First, he and his wife Abby welcomed a baby girl, Madelyn Grace, on Friday.

Officially a DILF.

Early Sunday, the proud papa brought her daughter and wife home.

Sunday night, he scored his 2nd straight overtime game winner in a row to beat the Sharks 3-2. [Watch it here.]

“It was a pretty emotional goal,” Sharp said. “It was tough to focus on hockey with so much going on back home. We have a great locker room. It’s pretty easy to turn things off when you come to the rink, but I was space cadet the whole game.”

Now that Sharpie is a dad, he’s going to need babysitters, right?

Personally, we think that Toews would be an excellent babysitter.  There would be lots of story time and coloring, games of hokey pokey and tea time.

Story time with Uncle Jonathan

 

Kane, on the other hand…not so much.   It would probably include running around and  jumping off of furniture.  Although, we’re pretty positive that if Madelyn wanted to dress Kane up and make his hair all pretty with bows and clips, he wouldn’t object.

Dude, seriously. What's with this baby?

Mikey Monday: Puppy Love

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Newsies, Pants Loves, Well OBVIOUSLY.

If someone finds my lifeless body later today, no need for an investigation.

Cause of death: Mike Green with this dog.

Mike and Piggy.

Why is this picture killing me so much?  Why do I love a shirt that’s kind of ugly and doesn’t even really match his pants?  Who has bacon behind the camera, because the dog is ready to bolt?  These questions I’ll have to answer from the Great Beyond.

The Capitals Canine Calendar is out, featuring players and their pets or shelter pups from the Washington Animal Rescue League.  You can see all the pics here [link] and buy calendars at Kettler IcePlex or on the 100 level of Verizon Center during December games.  Prepare to swoon.

Troy brought his own dogs to the shoot.

Neuvy and Hagrid's dog, Fang.

Nicky is scared of dogs, so they brought a puppy just for him! And I thought Nicky was the puppy the Caps brought just for us.

Take me home tonight...

Karl, always charming everyone.

And just to make sure I’m not alone in the afterlife, you can bury Gator right next to me.

DAMN, CARLY.

Sorry, I digressed!  Can you blame a girl?  Mike was back on the Twitter this weekend – without revealing where he was going (or why, since the Caps were home and he was practicing), he dropped this gem of practical wisdom.  Some might say “Wear socks in the middle of winter,” but they don’t know how warm moccasins can be.

SHOTGUN!

- Posted in Mikey Monday

Note to Earth: This is the ONLY van I’d ever get into with a stranger.

We don’t even need to write this blog, Mike Green’s gonna do it all for us.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

- Posted in I'm Always Right, Newsies

I’m all for the old-fashioned let your kids play outside and get dirty, and yeah sometimes they get hurt.  They’re kids, that’s the way it goes.  But when it comes to multi-million dollar professional athletes:

WEAR A VISOR.

Martin St. Louis was hit in the face during Tampa Bay’s practice yesterday.  He suffered facial and nasal fractures that can’t even be properly determined until the swelling in his face goes down.  This is the man who, in last year’s playoffs, had a two teeth knocked out, a double root canal and was back on the ice the next day.  We know you’re tough, Squishy.  And right now you’re “out indefinitely” with an avoidable injury.

Last week Jordan Staal caught  a puck near the eye against Carolina.  The camera cut to Eric, looking worried and probably thinking, “Shit, Mom is going to kill us.”  Jordan, who has been seriously injured by a shot to the face before, was lucky to have no structural damage and didn’t miss any games.  But he has played the last two matches with a visor.

There are a million instances of visor-preventable injuries.  Hell, even Pronger’s wearing one now after his most recent stick-to-the-face.  I think visors should be mandatory.  Remember before helmets were compulsory, and how totally asinine that seems now?  As much fun as it was to watch Craig MacTavish’s curls blowing in the wind, by the time he was the only bare-headed player on the ice he looked foolish and antiquated.

I know some players hate visors.  I understand how it can disrupt peripheral vision and create distortion when you look out from underneath.  Puck Daddy’s anonymous NHL-er “The Player” made his case this week, prior to St. Louis’ injury [link].  I wear glasses for distance and it was a long-term process to adjust, especially since I don’t wear them all the time.  But you do get used to it.  And if everyone wears a visor, any disadvantage is negated.

These days, with “player safety” as much the NHL’s industry buzz-word as “Kardashian” is to gossip mags, the simple argument of “I don’t like it” seems petulant.  People don’t like wearing seat belts or eating vegetables, but it’s stupid not too.  And when you get hurt, we can’t just say I told you so.  We count the cost in man-games lost, points unscored and positions left open.

Obviously a visor won’t prevent all injuries.  There’s also the issue of fighting, which the League hates to love, and the stigma of throwing punches with a shield on.  If everyone wears a visor, does everyone ditch their helmet and whip their hair before duking it out?  Who knows.  Don Cherry thinks only wusses and Europeans wear visors.  I disagree – I think smart guys who dream of long careers wear visors.  You’re going to get hurt playing hockey, that much is clear.  Limit injuries where possible and save your blood for another battle.

Foxy Friday: Joffrey Lupul

- Posted in Foxy Friday

Today I turned to the Twitterverse for my Foxy Friday inspiration.

Our lovely followers came up with some fantastic choices, but there was one who stood out amongst the rest…

Joffrey Douglas Sheldon Lupul

courtesy of sammanthamariee.tumblr.com

Courtesy of fuckyeahjofflupul.tumblr.com

courtesy of h0ckey-l0ve.tumblr.com

We just don’t hand these out willy-nilly, you know, so why is Joffrey so deserving of the Foxy Friday honor?

  • He’s 6’1″, 206lbs.
  • 28 years old, born in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta.
  • He is TEARIN IT UP for the Leafs this season.  13 goals, 19 assists.  32 points, which puts him as #4 in the league.  Certainly doesn’t hurt that Cartman Phil Kessel is on your line.

    Big time.

  • Drafted 7th overall in the 2002 Entry Draft.  You know who was the #1 pick that year?  The one and only Rick Nash.
  • First player to score a playoff hat-trick in Anaheim franchise history.
  • First player to score four playoff goals in one game, including an overtime winner.
  • First player to score all four of his team’s goals in a playoff game.
  • He has managed to come back from some serious and scary injuries, a spinal cord contusion and an a blood infection after back surgery that would keep him out almost a year. 
  • He spells his name all weird.  And we dig it.

That's J-O-F-F...Yea, I know its weird. Just go with it...

  • He enjoys playing the guitar.  We’d gladly allow him to serenade us.  Pants likes the love songs of the Barenaked Ladies.  I love me the song stylings of Hall & Oates.

    We're totally taking this show on the road. WORLD TOUR!

  • He is on the twitter – @jlupul.  And you all know how we feel about hockey players on twitter – tweet GOLD .
They only THINK I'm Canadian...

They only THINK I'm Canadian...

Foxy Friday Bonus

Check out Joffrey’s crib when he was playing with the Flyers.  

He loves guacamole.  

So do we.

Happy Birthday Drew "touched by god" Doughty

- Posted in Birthday Boy, Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire

Who could resist this - adorbs!

You heard me right! Our wonder boy also got the midas touch this year with holding out for major contract ca$h to the ca-ching of $56 million over 8 years for my beloved #8. That post already went over how many donuts that would buy him.

to this? ah - YOWZA!

Today he turns a whopping 22 – OMG – December 8, 1989. His full name is Andrew “Drew” Phillip Doughty.

me and my hockey stick go EVERYWHERE together

I am not even going to tell you what I was doing that year. But I will tell you that makes him a Sagittarius. He likes long walks on the beach and Architecture hummmmm. Oh and lots of Diet Cokes. He was the youngest player on the Canadian Olympic Hockey team which won the Gold medal in 2010. He was a finalist for the Norris Trophy that year as well. He went second overall in the NHL draft at the tender age of 18.

excellent company - but why does Stammy get to sit on his lap?

He shoots right, is 6 ft. and weighs 212 (probably on a good day) oh did I go there? He is looking better than EVER lately. He can be seen serenading his teammates on the bench when he’s not out hip checking Taylor Hall or Alex Burrows or pounding one deep in the net.

A BIG birthday kiss from WUYS!

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY Big Guy – my other favorite 8. I wish you an excellent defensive run for the Norris trophy this year, a long career, many goals and keep on singing but not to Brooks and Dunn please! 😉

Let's Get Loud

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Fight Club, Newsies

You guys are the best.  Mike Green starts Tweeting and our phone rings off the hook!  FOUND PANDA, people!

Press three for Intern Jeff Skinner.

Mike was as excited as Gator and I about the Caps putting together a serious, solid win.  Ovi had a goal (haven’t typed that in a long time), Nicky and Jeff Halpern each 1 G/1 A, Troy Brouwer had a Gordie Howe hat trick and iCarly rocked 1 G/2 A.  That’s two three-point games in a row for John!  Someone told him Gator wants points for Christmas.  He had a beast of a game and was named First Star.

Santa's coming?! I know him!!

Sasha Fierce missed two games with a minor shoulder injury, and was back in the lineup last night with 15+ min of ice time.  No points for Semin (in his last 5 games), but dear God we can’t have everything!  Settle for the Caps’s PK clicking, killing 6 of 7 minors.  Overall their PK ranks 24th in the NHL – and it’s usually Sasha in the box anyway.  Could it be the Capitals are getting back on track?

Favorite fake Twitter of the day.

Tweeting while biking it’s easy (I once texted Gator from the elliptical, almost resulted in me going on injured reserve), but it’s worth it.  Last night gave everyone a lot of hope, something the Caps sorely need.  Now if they can string together a few wins under Hunter, Ovi can figure his shit out and Mikey can get back in the lineup, we’ll be in business.  And if he can’t play, at least he should cheer where we can hear/read it.

Favorite real Twitter of the day.

(Instances in which I will forgive the your vs. you’re error are limited to big wins, hockey players and social media.  And so begin my dropping standards.)

5 Things: Entry-Level Contracts

- Posted in 5 Things

We’ve had a request for more “hard news” around here, so you got it.  Kind of.  As often as I can find them, I will  be bringing you five things that you might not know about hockey.  First up…

5 Things: NHL Entry-Level Contracts

1. “Entry-level” contracts are required for players who sign between the ages of 18 – 21, and encompass their first three NHL seasons. Players who sign at 22-23 are “entry-level” for two years, and at 24 for a one year.  Players signing their first NHL contracts after age 24 are not subject to these restrictions.

2. An entry-level player can earn a maximum of $925,000 in 2011. (This number was $850,000 in 2005 and increased over the course of the current collective bargaining agreement.  Pre-lockout in 2004, the max entry-level salary was $1.295 million).

www.capgeek.com

3. Signing Bonuses: The maximum signing bonus a player can receive is equal to 10 percent of his salary for each year of the entry-level contract. (Pre-lockout these bonuses could be up to 50% of base salary.)
4. Performance Bonuses: Players on entry level contracts are one of only three groups eligible for performance bonuses.  The others are veterans who’ve played 400+ games and sign one-year deals after returning from long-term (100+ days) injury, and players over 35 years old who sign one-year contracts.

www.capgeek.com

5. In most cases, these performance bonuses are paid by the League (not the player’s team) and thus don’t count against the salary cap.

The current Collective Bargaining Agreement was made in 2005 and set to expire after the 2010-2011 season.  In June 2010, the CBA was extended to include this season.  It will expire on September 15, 2012.

How’d I do?  Do you feel smarter?  You can read the CBA here [link] though it was modified slightly after the Ilya Kovulchuk cap-circumvention scandal.  Those changes are explained here [link].

Keep Your Chin Up

- Posted in We Believe

I want the Tampa Bay Lightning to play better, because they are such a happy crew.  Behind-the-scenes from the Tampa Bay Magazine cover story:

Easy, breezy, beautiful. Now cut your hair.

And there’s adorable video too [link].

Spin like a ballerina!

The Bolts are 11-13-2, while the cross-state Panthers are killing it and leading the division.  That’s right, I said the PANTHERS.  Remember when Rob Niedermayer played for them?

Stunnas.

Stammer has 16 G/13 A, which puts him near the top in goals and points.

Lean back.

But they’re struggling to put together wins.  The Lightning have dropped 9 of 15 games, including the last 4 in a row.

Squishy is a distinguished gentleman.

They play tonight against a team with a worse record – the Islanders.  It would be nice to get a running start into tough road games against the Rangers and Flyers later this week.

Everybody loves Steven.

NHL Realigns. Emergency Staff Meeting.

- Posted in Newsies, Randomness, We're Mental

Late last night, the NHL’s Board of Governors approved a radical realignment plan that will completely reshape the busted up, crooked nose, missing teeth face of the NHL.

Normally, things like this don’t confuse us.  We consider ourselves pretty sharp ladies with excellent hockey acumen (uh, we DID go to BU after all), especially when it comes to the inner workings of the NHL…but frankly this one is going to take a bit to wrap our heads around.

Okay…emergency WUYS staff meeting!  While Intern Jeff Skinner sets up the whiteboard and organizes all our colorful markers, allow us to break it down for you like “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”.

  • Goodbye, two conference, six division setup.  Hello, four-conference set up based on geography.  Two conferences will have 8 teams, the other two will have 7.  But can someone explain to us how Florida and Tampa Bay ended up in a conference with Boston, Buffalo, and Ottawa?  Did the NHL even bother to look at a map?
  • Green light still needed from the Players.  NHLPA will get the chance to weigh in on the proposal, but the new structure should go into effect starting next season.  But we don’t see this not passing.  Highly doubt the league would have approved it if they did not feel that they would get support from the players.
  • Air travel makes the Sedin Twins Grumpy.  The new four-conference set up was drawn up because several of the Western Conference teams were unhappy with all the travel between one, two, sometimes even three time zones.  Also some of those teams says that the late start of road games in PST (10pm on East Coast) were affecting fan interest.  Uh, we’re kinda guilty here.  Hey, we love to watch the Sharks but we have things to do.  Like sleep.  How else do you think we maintain our beauty and youthful appearances?
  • NHL focuses their chi. Finds balance.  New alignment will allow the NHL to create a schedule where all teams (yes, ALL TEAMS) will play each other at least twice every season (one at home, one on the road).  This, we like. A lot.  It means that the fans will get to see every team and every superstar in the league, at least once.  We want to kiss the man who came up with this brilliant idea.
  • Our new Powerball numbers: 7-6-3-3-8-5-6-3-6-4-5.  In the seven-team conference, teams would play 6 times (3 @ home, 3 away).  In eight-team conference, teams would play either 5 or 6 times in a season, on a rotating basis (3 teams play each other 6 times, 4 teams play each other 5 times).  Uh, we don’t like this.  Too much math. Our brains hurt.
  • Stanley Cup Playoffs will become Steel Cage Death Match.  Only the top 4 teams in each conference would qualify for SCP.  1st vs. 4th, 2nd vs 3rd.  Four conference champs would meet in 3rd round of playoffs, with winners playing for the ultimate hardware.  So no more #8 seed upsetting the #1 seed.  *sadface* But those games were SO MUCH FUN!

Conferences are yet unnamed, but we really hope the NHL doesn’t go with something lame like North, Atlantic, Midwest, and West.  Actually, we’ve been brainstorming some awesome ones ourselves.

Quick, Jeffy – toss me that purple marker!

This is what we’ve come up with so far…

  • Adams Conference
  • Patrick Conference
  • Norris Conference
  • Smythe Conference
  • Campbell Conference
  • Wales Conference
  • Tim Thomas Conference
  • Panda Conference

What about you?  What would you name these four new conferences?

Right now, this radical realignment of our beloved NHL has yet to fully sink in.  Give us some caffeine and a hot minute.

Check in with us next season to see how we truly feel about the whole thing.

You know we’re going to have something hilariously clever to say.