Shanabanned: Who's Not?

- Posted in Epic Fail, Newsies, Playoffs

At Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon in Austin, TX, every Sunday night they play Chicken Sh*t Bingo.  It’s exactly what it sounds like – feed a chicken, turn it loose on a tabletop bingo board and wherever it takes a crap, that number goes on the board.

I’m pretty sure this is also how the NHL is deciding suspensions.

James Neal – 1 game for charging [Shanahan video]

The chicken really likes James Neal, because he gets away with the Couturier hit like a bank robber with a sack of money.  He leaves his feet to run two guys in one shift and manages to earn two disciplinary hearings for only 42 seconds of play!  Someone please tell me if that’s a land speed record.  You know I love the Pens & Neal (still so pissed), but even I can’t believe this. No I don’t want a huge suspension handed out to my guy – but I don’t know other players running my guys with zero fear of consequence.  This works both ways and next time, it’s coming instead of going.

To me this shows the NHL believes the Pens/Flyers series is over tonight, so the chicken did her business on the 1 because there’s only one game left in Neal’s season.  God, I hope they’re  wrong.

Be honest if you can see the sense in this: Carl Hagelin got 3 games [video] for elbowing Daniel Alfredsson and Andrew Shaw got 3 games [video] for hitting Mike Smith.  If those are 3-gamers, why is Neal’s only one?  Alfredsson was injured, Smith was not.  Neal could much more easily have avoided Giroux than either of the other hits.  And neither Hagelin or Shaw threw another questionable check less than a minute before.

Aaron Asham – 4 games for cross-checking [Shanahan video]

The chicken was angry – fine with me. This is a terrible move in a terrible game that could repeat itself tonight.  For all the bitching about Schenn cross-checking Crosby from behind a few weeks ago, this is obviously a hundred times worse and deserves a sit-down.

Nicklas Backstrom – 1 game for cross-checking  [Shanahan video]

A stick to the face for a Backstrom-less game 4?  Deal of the century!  Thanks a lot, chicken!

This play is no dirtier than a million uncalled penalties in this series.  But it is, as Shanahan calls it, “excessive and reckless” – because he can’t say “stupid and pointless.”  Nicky’s not going to fight Peverly anymore than I’m going to be proclaimed Queen of Canada.  He has been run constantly in this series – because he’s the Caps best player.  And he gave it away for nothing.   The Caps got through 40 games without Backstrom this year, here’s hoping they have one more in them.

Raffi Torres – Awaiting the Chicken

You need 5 in a row to win bingo.  Just when the NHL had suspended 7 players in the first round (only 6 suspensions in all of last year’s playoffs), Phoenix’s Raffi Torres does this.  Marian Hossa was stretchered off the ice and taken by ambulance to a local hospital, from which he was released last night [link].  He got into a waiting car under his own power.  Torres has been suspended twice and fined once in the last 13 months [link].

What do you think the chicken will have to say about this one?  If suspensions are being doled out based on some other system (say, player popularity?), where on the bingo board does this load land?

PS: You should all read The New York Times’ Slap Shot blog for this scathing piece on the state of player safety.  Writer Lynn Zinser says: “If you can follow the logic through those four [Asham, Neal, Shaw, Backstrom] — particularly how the Penguins’ James Neal earned only a one-game suspension for head-hunting two players on a single shift — you belong at M.I.T. Or Shanahan’s next dinner party.”

 

(un)Leashed Fury

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Newsies, Playoffs

Remember when Harry Potter got so angry at Dudley that he made the glass disappear and unleashed a snake into a room full of kids?  I wanted to disapparate the glass in the Verizon Center last night and let the fans go berserk.  I have never been so worked up at a game.

As the old adage goes, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t talk to opposing teams’ fans during the playoffs.”  Since I can’t say anything about the Bruins that couldn’t later be used against me in a court of law, I will instead focus on what I did and didn’t like about the Caps game 3 effort last night.

1) Karl Alzner

I love you. This was stupid in a hundred ways but I love you.  [video]

He’s the third man into this scrum for sure – just the 857th penalty not called last night, on either team, including about five in the ten seconds prior.  The Caps were already shorthanded and this could have really put them in a tough… oh wait, they lost anyway.  So I don’t care!

“I don’t even know what to say on my side to show I’m not a crybaby,” Lucic said with a laugh. “That’s a lot coming from a guy who I think has two roughing penalties in three years.”  – Washingtonpost.com

That is exactly why this was awesome. Get in there, Karl! What are you going to do, make Looch play tougher? Not possible. Make him fight you?  Like he needs a reason, and even now you’re not at the top of his list.  Overall this was harmless to everything but the fact that we’ll remember it.  Put it with the “shhhh” and the salute as a little something that can go a long way for your team.

Can't wait to see your beard in Round 2.

2) Up-Tempo Hockey

The first period was blistering.  Caps fans live in fear of the surprise appearance by that team from this season who didn’t care, the one with cement skates and a hangover.  But last night we got the zip, and we got it early.  Too bad for Ovi he used 90% of his energy in the first period, checking everything that moved, then ran out of gas.  Get him a Power Bar, Dale, and get him back out there!  Great hustle from the forwards last night – especially Brouwer and Brooks.

3) Defense

DISLIKE.  There is a Jeff Schultz-sized hole in our blueline.  Is this guy really our best option?  Every time he comes near the puck, Gator yells, “Schultz!” like Seinfeld yells, “Newman!”  Orlov is a spastic 7th grader, but at least he’s quick.  Also, Mike Green – he managed four more shots last night, but still seems to go from great play to complete lapse every possession.  The Bruins can play tighter and the Caps better figure this out before they do.

4) Cross-Ice Passes Down Low

The Caps seem to have finally conquered their demon of consistently getting into the offensive zone.  It’s not always clean, but it’s better.  Now they are hung up on cross-ice passes below the hash marks.  It nearly worked in the first, but the Bruins closed that hole.  The Caps continued to try ad nauseum – their game needs to be more adaptable/unpredictable.

5) Crash the Net

You know the game where you guess how many jellybeans are in the huge jar and if you win, you get the jellybeans?  No one can guess how many times Russian Machine Never Breaks has implored this team to crash the net all season – it’s well over a billion.  The Caps should replace #4 with this idea, because I like jellybeans.

And) Nicklas Backstrom

We know you’re frustrated, Piglet.  We know Thomas clocked you with a blocker after a whistle in game 1 and didn’t get called.  That’s why it felt so damned good when you beat him for the double-OT winner next time.  Please continue to respond as such… if you get the chance.

This is just dumb.  The game is over.  Everyone has been running everyone for free but Backstrom decides to make himself the price of a cross-check that gains nothing.  Hunter expects the NHL to rescind the match penalty and automatic one-game suspension that was assessed to Nicky because it “was not that bad.” [link]  Maybe not – I can’t tell from the video if he gets Peverly’s face or his arms.  But there’s no question that it’s stupid and he’ll be lucky not to sit the next one out.

Weekend Hangover

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Fight Club, Playoffs, Randomness, Shanabanned

This went beyond just hair-pulling ...

I don’t hate fighting as much as some other people. What I dislike is hypocrisy. Philly has never made any apologies for who they are. What shocked me was  Matt Cooke managed to stayed out of the fray.

Pittsburgh needs to decide quickly if they are going to play as a team to stay in the play-offs or protect Sidney Crosby from injury because they can’t do both.

But other than that, to lighten the mood there used to be someone who did Hockey Cats. So to continue the tradition, here is the weekend in hockey cats photos:

Mittens likes to live on the edge ... it's better than the tea-cup ride in Disneyland!

 

big Orange made a horrible goalie

 

 

Mikey Monday: Game On

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves, Playoffs

That moment when the Washington Capitals my most consistent team…

… and running hard like they really belong in this race.

The Bruins and Capitals have played 144 minutes of hockey and scored a combined four goals. The Flyers/Penguins are averaging four goals per period in their series.  Needless to say I’m a bit high strung about tonight’s first home game in DC.  There are a lot of us who like both the Pens and Caps – weird, but true.  Tonight I’m mad at my boyfriend (the Pens) and probably going to get rowdy about that guy I keep saying is “just a friend” (the Caps Nicky B Mike even Ovi for heaven’s sake).

Mike had four shots on goal Saturday (Jay Beagle had six. SIX!) and played over 33 minutes.  I want him to score so everyone can shut up about how he used to be like Erik Karlsson.  (It’s true but I get so defensive!)

Here’s Mike talking about feeling “the best [he has] in two years” and how tight games frustrate both teams [link].  His hair is so Elvis from this angle he’ll be asking all the cameras to shoot this way from now on.

He even uses “attrition” correctly in a sentence.  Break out your SAT words (or whatever they have in Canada) for the playoffs!

And remember that time Sasha Fierce blocked a shot?!  I KNOW!  Everybody’s into it now!

I want to see more of those plays and this expression tonight while I’m jumping around, trying not to fall from the 400s at Verizon Center.

PS: Sorry to Chuck for all the things I’m going to say about the Bruins, right out loud this time.

I Hate Everyone

- Posted in Hall of Shame, Playoffs

I’m not quite sure what to say about today’s Penguins/Flyers game and I re-wrote this post three times (while trying not to throw up).  This game was an implosion – a disgusting, dirty, insulting excuse for a game the Penguins lost fair and square.

First off, the score.  Can ANYONE be bothered to cover Danny Biere?  He scored two in game one, remember?  You could have landed a plane on him in the first period and the Pens defense would have wondered why it got so windy.  It would explain why Fleury was flapping like a screen door in a hurricane.  After this complete lapse, the Penguins had no one to blame but themselves for the score on the board.  So they got angry.

No need to recap this for you, and I can’t bring myself to do it anyway.

The brawl in the first period was ugly, but it could have turned the game.  Even Sid & Gingeroux put their money where their mouths were – and then some, screaming at each other from the penalty boxes.  Channel your rage!  There was still hope, right through James Neal’s second period goal to make it 4-3 Flyers.  The Penguins were scrambling and stumbling but the score was close enough.  Except the poor play and bitching kept on coming.  I hate the Flyers too – today was more about the Pens sinking themselves.

Bylsma swapped out Fleury for Johnson to start the third – way too late in my opinion.  Clearly a fight had not had not rallied his team, I think he should have tried something else a lot sooner.  Johnson didn’t fare much better though and it was 7-4 Flyers less than thirty seconds later.

The third period of this game will make me sick to my stomach for a long time.  The only guys I could even look at are the names you didn’t hear – Matt Cooke, Richard Park, uh… Geno because he was invisible today.  Everyone else was already on my sh*t list and to top it all off, this:

Neal, you had two great goals. You kept the Pens on the board when they weren’t in the game.  Then you laid out Coturier with a cheap shot –  leaving your GD feet to do it! – when the game was out of reach.  You accomplished nothing except the impossible: making this awful game worse.  Now you’ll be suspended.  Enjoy watching the last game of the season from the press box, dummy.

Truthfully, I’d ground this whole team.  That is not how you redeem a bad start to the series or to this game.  That is not how you react when your backs are to the wall.  That’s not even hockey, it’s a street fight.

Game four is Wednesday.  Can a team come back from 3-0 down to win a series?  Of course (you’re talking to Red Sox fans, here).  Can the Penguins?  Dear God, I hope so.  But not if they bring this team to the ice, and who knows if anyone will be left by Wednesday.

Post-game today:

Dan Bylsma [link]

“We don’t want to be involved in those situations against this team.”  Too bad, jerks.  You courted it today and got what you asked for.

James Neal [link]

“It is what it is.”  It’s you getting suspended, hothead.

Sidney Crosby [link]

“We’re playing playoff hockey.” Am I on the wrong channel? Because I think that means helping yourselves win.

UGH.  I’m exhausted and gutted from this game.  My apologies for the rant if you’re a Pens fan who handled today better or felt less aggro toward them. I love the Penguins, but those were not the Penguins.  I can’t blindly love a team that behaves this way.  If another team came at mine like that, I’d be calling for their heads.  Now it’s time for my team (and me) to be responsible for ourselves.

Principal's Office

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs, Shanabanned

It’s getting hot in here, and Brendan Shanahan’s phone was ringing off the hook yesterday.  Three players face disciplinary hearings for offenses committed during Saturday’s run of show…

1. Carl Hagelin

Former Foxy Friday and Ryan Gosling stun- double Carl Hagelin is not known for throwing elbows and getting dirrrty.  But the playoffs make people do crazy things.  He took out Daniel Alfredsson with a very high hit yesterday.

Alfredsson, the Sens’ captain, did not return to the game.  There’s been no update on Alfredsson’s status.  Hagelin served a five minute major and will be sentenced today.  Tortorella said “wah!” but that’s what he always says.

2. Matt Carkner

This guy is off his anger-management meds.  Boyle had a goal in game 1 and got into it with Karlsson to the tune of matching roughing minors.  It merits the clean check Carkner throws to start this, and probably a fight.  I understand protecting your most valuable asset.  But Carkner doesn’t square off, he jumps Boyle and drags him face-down across the ice under the dogpile.

Carkner got five for fighting, two for instigating and ejected.  Brandon Dubinsky was the third man into the fight and also got himself a game misconduct.  He took his frustration out on the Gatorade cooler.

This series is officially ugly.  I think Shanahan will suspend Hagelin for one game, especially if Alfie can’t play tomorrow.  The hit was directly to the head and otherwise you open it up to chaos.  If Carkner went after Boyle for a play that didn’t result in Karlsson being injured, what will they do to the guy who knocked out their captain?  Hagelin is not Boyle – he may not live to tell the tale.

Carkner definitely gets suspended here.  Fight a guy clean to protect your teammates, that’s hockey.  This is cowardice and can’t be allowed to stand.

3. Andrew Shaw

Goalies are like virgins whose fathers are right inside the front door with a shotgun – don’t touch them, it’s not worth it.  Chicago’s Andrew Shaw collided with Phoenix netminder Mike Smith last night, helmet-to-helmet. Smith went down hard and stayed there for a long time.

Shaw got a five minute charging major, on which the Coyotes scored to take the lead.  He was ejected as well.  Smith eventually got right and stayed in the game… what?  He must have passed whatever on-ice tests are administered immediately following a hit to the head, but this looked like a mandatory trip to the quiet room.  I think a five + game should suffice as Smith wasn’t injured on the play.  The hearing is tomorrow.

What do you think?  More importantly, if they don’t get what the opposition feels they “deserve,” what happens in game three?

Back To One

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves, Playoffs

I was beginning to think I was me.  When the Pens, Caps and Hawks all went down 0-1 in their playoff series, I wondered if I might be cursed.  Then Friday’s debacle in Pittsburgh had me panicking – should I sit on the couch or the floor?  But I did that last time!  Jersey or t-shirt, with or without my Penguins socks, and what if I switched from lemonade to iced tea?

Yesterday something finally worked.

Sasha Fierce gets in there and does not let go.

The Capitals got another stellar performance from Foxy Friday Braden Holtby in a match up so tight I can hardly breathe.   I almost fainted from screaming pure joy at Nicky B’s double-overtime winner.  Some goals would be nice tomorrow night, and maybe a regulation win.  Gator and I have to take the metro home after the game.

I also believe Boston could hear me screaming expletives at Brad Marchand, or Mike can just read my mind.  Sorry Chuck, at least he didn’t go after Bergeron for trying to rip off Nicky’s visor.

"I said Team Pants, you troll!"

I may have dozed off during the Blackhawks game, but I remember waking more than once to the announcers yelling, “Viktor Stalberg!”  He had a great game, and the sole assist on the OT game winner by Bryan Bickell.  Now I know why they’re called throw pillows – so you can celebrate in silence when your hockey team wins at 1:07 AM.

Today is game day all over again – I’m rested and ready.  I’m not sure my outfit or snack choice can help the Penguins – they’re going to need to plug the holes in their boat if the want to get back in this series.  I believe in Fleury!

Don't Be Hatin'

- Posted in 5 Things, Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Hey there handsome! yes, I embarrassed you in front of your team, that was me

Ok, I’m starting this off with I don’t hate the Vancouver Canucks. I just happen to LOVE the LA KINGS – even more so after seeing them last night. Look at the play-off beard!

do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Mr. Canuck fan? no wonder you're with another dude at this game!

If Pants was worried about me when we went to see Ovi in SJ in my outfit, she should have chaperoned me to Vancouver in my harmless Drew Doughty/LA KINGS t-shirt last night because holy Cheesus! I was literally one of 5 Kings fans in the house and the only one with a sign. You could see it anywhere in Rogers Arena.

F%ck you camera man! Telling me I suck. I made it on the Jumbotron anyway! so suck it ... we won too!

The one question I kept getting asked last night was – Why do you like the LA KINGS? Really? I saw Mr. Cherrie hold his breath hoping against all hope I wasn’t going to say something snarky so I waited until now: (our two little friends above the exit sign where AWESOME!) HI!

1. LA has a real goal tender – Quick doesn’t cry either!

Koppie tried flipping me a puck during warm up! totes love for you.

2. LA has Kopitar who can stick handle in a phone booth and I believe is about to cut loose because he is certainly due

He's all class and no sass!

3. LA has Dustin Brown with 2 shorties on them in their barn

Capt. Downtown Brown was trying not to laugh at my sign. Quick had a giggle too along with the rest of the team giving Doughty shit.

4. LA has Jeff Carter and Mike Richards now
5. LA has Drew Doughty (of course) 😉

Drew also tried to flip me a puck during warm-ups!

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

This was totally staged for my pleasure because they were all laughing and trying not to look at me. Hello -Paging Kings Fan of One.

See ... they started laughing and 22 (Trevor Lewis) is a stone cold FOX

But I would like to give a shout out and a thanks to the gracious Canucks fans who let me stand in front of them during the warm-ups so I could watch. They were very nice about it and I truly appreciated it.

Foxy Friday: Patrick Marleau

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Loyalty is defined as “a faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause.”

One might also define loyalty as “Patrick Marleau.”

Marleau has spent his entire professional hockey career with the San Jose Sharks, who drafted him 2nd overall at the 1997 Entry Draft (behind current teammate Joe Thornton).

1997 to 2012. That’s like eleventy billion years in hockey speak.

His loyalty was put to the test in 2010 but Marleau chose to not test the free agent waters, and remain with the team that drafted him. He signed a 4-year deal, worth a tidy $27.6 mil a year. You know how we feel about math (we hate it) but even we know that works out to some serious paper.

Aside from his devotion to the Black and Teal, the Sharks alternate captain is also one serious hockey player. Add to that his overall adorableness, those eyebrows, and the fact that we don’t give the Western Conference as much love as we should, we have named Patrick Marleau this week’s Foxy Friday.

Marleau is the all-time Sharks leader in goals, even strength goals, power play goals, points, shots, AND games played. Overachiever, much?

On January 17, 2011, Marleau played his 1,000th career game, becoming the third-quickest player to that prestigious milestone as measured by age, as well as the youngest player in NHL history to reach the milestone with the same franchise.

And if that wasn’t enough, he scored a goal too.

from bleedteel.tumblr.com

Other fun facts about Mr. Marleau that make him worthy…

  • He was born September 15, 1979 in Aneroid, southwestern Saskatchewan, (pop. 45). Not only does that make him extremely WUYS age appropriate, but he’s also from a town that sounds like something out of Star Wars (which we love)
  • His favorite band is The Tragically Hip. Of course, it is. He’s Canadian. You probably get a copy of their album upon birth, along with a pair of skates and lumberjack hat.
  • He hates loud eaters, bad drivers, and smokers.
  • Most famous people in his cell phone – Justin Morneau and Sidney Crosby. The most famous person in my cell phone is Pants.
  • He is fluent in “Toddlerese”. Wonder if you can get this on Rosetta Stone?
  • His oldest piece of protective equipment is his shoulder pads. He claims they are “decades old”.
  • Can undress out of his hockey gear in a team-low, 45-seconds. Team low? So what you’re telling me is that the Sharks had a race to see who could get naked the fastest? What we wouldn’t have given to officiate that race….

Aww shucks, guys.
(from allie-xoxo.tumblr.com)

Marleau finished the regular season at 30 G, 34 A, 64 pts and a +10 and will no doubt be a factor in the Sharks’ success this postseason. He will also be making a run for the Most Desirable Playoff Beard Award.
Also, his long-lost twin?
The coach from “Friday Night Lights”, Kyle Chandler!!
Seriously Foxy.

from Sports Illustrated

Happy Friday the 13th – Best Day for Hockey!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hockey Movies, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Randomness

No other horror movie celebrates Hockey with such bad assery!

Last night was a heart breaker when the Caps lost in OT to Boston – I’m sure Ovi had this Nightmare: 

No, not the floating head of death again!

And Seidenberg tried to take Ovi out with this hit but he found that weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! If Ovi can knock Jagr into next year at the Olympics, you’ll have to try harder Siddy-bergy than this:

As for it being FRIDAY THE 13th – I know we ran this before, but there is no such thing in my world as too much Kris Letang so for your FRIDAY THE 13th MOMENT OF ZEN:

Kilroy Was Here

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Randomness, Stanley Cup Finals

There is no accounting for taste in our household. Traitors abound. Mr. Cherrie is a hard-core Buffalo fan.

 But when I went to consult my bookie, I mean my oracle- the great swami Osiris Jones, man about town and counselor at law, when he’s not picking NHL play-off games for cat treats, much to my horror this is what I found!

Whut can I saz, I heart king henry

When I told him there’d be no more treats for this treacherous betrayal –

But i'm no foo eder

His brothers are much smarter and helped with the sign making for tomorrows big trek across the border. With Doughty getting so much ice time I am sure to get my money’s worth so look for this sign in the sea of blue and green: 

yes mom, I am 12 years old ...and I can make a sign like one too!

I’m hoping to get some exclusive shots for the blog if Mr. Gates doesn’t make me stay after school for extra credit. I am also hoping for another game like last night!

Wow - for me? Awesome .... A hatrick for you then!

 But what I really wanted to know was – who would end up in the Stanley Cup finals? So Swami Osiris Jones drug under the couch cushions, licked his butt a few times and gave me two answers – you decide from reading my posts which one is real and which one is for more cat treats … 

Swami Jones has spoken ... and it shall come to pass that these two hot horses will play each other in the finals ...

or this: 

Pst ...I hear Dawn's picked us for the finals ...
*****************************************************
Of course she did, I'm reliable and I always come through even though she's saying it's her 'cat' and she hates Pittsburgh

Battle of the Blog: Playoffs

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs, We Love

Welcome to the NHL Playoffs.  Where all friendships are suspended and The Battle of the Blog really begins.

Pants vs. Chuck, Round One

The Bruins and Capitals begin their playoff series tonight.  Chuck and I have called a time out on fifteen years of watching “So I Married an Axe Murderer” and 3 AM pizza deliveries.  All those *N Sync concerts and the time we got fined a dozen donuts by our broomball team mean nothing.  We are enemies.  Dawn is also a Caps fan – in fact, I blame her for most of this.

I don't like Ovi, but I will like him more than Chuck tonight.

I won’t bore you with a playoff match up preview because frankly, I don’t know which Capitals team will show up tonight.  We have Varsity, JV and powder puff, and they all wear the same uniforms.  Sometimes they swap out during intermission.  The only guarantee is that rookie goalie Braden Holtby will start tonight.  Foxy Friday, don’t fail me now!  

The Bruins are mean and tough and they know how good it feels to win.  The playoffs do crazy things to repeat contenders – Pens/Wings back and forth, the struggling Hawks almost pulling off a first round miracle last season.  Could this be the first repeat since Detroit in ’97 and ’98?

The fight is on.  We know a lot of you guys face this dilemma with your friends or family.  Any tips on how Chuck and I can play fair when we face off tonight?

One Down

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

I thought an all-consuming work event on the first night of the NHL Playoffs was a terrible thing.  Instead it saved me from having to watch the Penguins blow a 3-goal lead and lose in OT to the Flyers.  Even my phone and Blackberry died when it was 3-0 – I should have seen the signs.

I don’t need to ask what happened.  Danny Briere said, “Thanks anyway, rookie who got your butt kicked by Joe Vitale last weekend, but I’ve got this payback thing covered.”  Braden Schenn (first star) figured if everyone was going to talk about him, he’d give them something to say.

The poor intern who lent me his phone to see the 3-3 score will never un-hear the things I said.

I understand the Flyers looked spectacular in the last half and the officiating was a mess – a missed icing call lead to the Dupuis goal, Briere was offside for his first.  There were only four penalties, but three went against the Flyers so the conspiracy theory lives on.  You guys can weigh in on what I missed, but I’m almost glad I missed it.

Game two Friday at 7:30 PM.  Hopefully I won’t need any more four-letter words, I think I used them all up.

In other playoff series:

Nashville beat Detroit 3-2 [link].  Gator is mad and so is her grandmother, who dresses this duck in Detroit team apparel depending on the sports season.  She doesn’t want to change his clothes anytime soon.

Yes, this is a custom duck-sized jersey.

LA beat Vancouver 4-2 on third period goals from Penner and Brown.  The Canucks just didn’t have enough guys named Dustin. [link]

Update: I just saw this. Can’t stop laughing!  Kesler is twirling like a bored outfielder on Gator’s 9-11 year old girl’s softball team (The Gators, naturally).  TBG Drew Doughty – what is that hand gesture? I don’t think you’re telling him to take a hike…

Because It's The Cup Campaign

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Underrated

Dawn, Ovi - sorry for the bad season. I do better in play-offs. I promise. BOOM! hahahahahahah

So when this campaign started the feedback was terrible so they adjusted it STAT because it was like the MasterCard ad, the Hockey Discover Card and “I Just Want My Pants Back” had a drunken three way, someone got pregnant and no one wanted to take responsibility for the monster that came of it.

Hockey fans will tell you straight up when something stinks.

I get TPTB wanted to include the fans but thank god we bascially got a bastard child of HISTORY WILL BE MADE! I don’t want to see faux Hollywood replicas of what they think we are doing in our homes/bars/favorites hockey watching spots. Trust me – WE KNOW. And it wasn’t what they were showing us.

I want to see Ovi telling me what he’s GOING to do in the play-offs.

Dear NHL - stilling waiting for Letang's solo "Because of the Cup" ad. Statistically speaking - Pens can win without St. Sid but not with out #58. Just sayin'

I want to see Kris Letang brush his sexy hair out of his face and smile at me as he skates at the screen.

I want to see Erik Karlsson and his glorious mullet, all awkward and sh&t.

Dear little man, may you win the Norris if Kris Letang (a complete dark horse but I wish would win) doesn't.

 Hell, I’d even take Jagr saluting me! (not quite but see below for you hard core philly fans – bless you all!)

You've grown on me like a fungus but you make me laugh - which is hard to do!

It isn’t quite that but it will do for now. So for your viewing pleasure if you haven’t seen these yet:

Two Tickets To Paradise!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs

ah ... can someone get me into the dressing room for an interview? I have a lot of questions for these guys and they look a little bored.


Hey Jumbo Joe … at least pick on someone your own size…

Giving the West Coast some love and Mr. Cherrie too … for our anniversary – what better way to celebrate than seeing my beloved DDTBG in person! And on one of our favorite day of the year – FRIDAY THE 13th!

Yes, I've used this photo before but finding shirtless photos of Drew is like finding a Unicorn, a rainbow and Ovi with a hat trick this year! Ohhhh did I just say that?!

Look out Vancouver – here we come! Because last years autographed Letang Stanley Cup Puck really can’t be out done unless Mr. Cherrie gets Letang gives me a lap dance!

I don’t know whether to wear my “FEAR THE TWINS” shirt from last year’s play off or my ever green – DREW DOUGHTY shirt? Or I could committ the ultimate jersey foul – cut them apart and frankenstein them! Switch them out too! Brilliant I say!

complete jersey foul if I stich these together!

(I guess that depends on who wins in the end …) I learned my lesson at the 2010 Olympics! :0

These are tough and important decisions because I don’t want to be the Hulk Hogan dude that got razzed by Hartnell at the Pens game.

Either way ladies, it’s play-off time and this girl has a new outfit in the making. And you won’t believe your eyes! After being the highest googled Ovi sweat pants peep – my goal is to be the highest google Sex-hair gal.

I need a sign ... but not from god.

I will also need a sign. I found this one but it’s just not me. So I have very little time to come up with something for both sides that I can flip. Because while I am completely there for DDTBG, let’s not forget that Mr. Edler will be in the house. MEOW!

What? Dawn's coming? HERE?! Shut the Front Door!

Let the play offs begin … Can’t wait to see Drew’s play off thingy …can’t call it a beard.

We need a hero... to save us from all those things growing on our hockey heroes!

Mikey Monday: Hint, Hint

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

Damn you, post-season!  I am having a hard time saying anything for fear of being a jinx.  Let’s try this…

How many Monday home games has Mike Green played this season?  ONE.

That sucks. (Photo by @raedanda)

Did the Caps win? YES.

A little better.

Was it also his/my birthday?  YES. (October 10, close enough.)

Mmm, cake.

Were Gator and I there? OBVIOUSLY.

We weren't even cold.

And now, what day is the Caps’ first home playoff game? (Hint: April 16.)

I see where you're going with this.

It doesn’t mean anything.  There are two games in Boston to get through first and large parts of the Caps season have been held together with popsicle sticks and Scotch tape.  But as Monday is Mike’s very own day of the week, it’s been a long time coming.  Like a goal (October 22) or an assist (March 19).   Mike hasn’t even taken a penalty since February 25.  Something’s gotta give, right?  A little help?  Just pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about.

Good job, Nicky.

We're So Excited…And We Just Can't Hide It!

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs, We Love

EXCITING NEWS EVERYONE!

Pants and I are proud to announce that during the playoffs, WUYS will be writing a weekly post on Puck Daddy!!

So much of this right now.

It’ll be about the best (and worst) playoff beards, which is one of the things we simply adore about hockey players.

I heart beards so much that I have been know to accost totally strangers in bars and ask them if I can touch their beards.

Creepy?  Absolutely, but I just can’t resist.  Especially when they are so fluffy.

Special thanks to Greg Wyshynski from Puck Daddy for giving us this great honor.  According to him, he feels our “particular brand of whimsy” regarding this topic would be “sick.”

Best. Compliment. Evah.

Sixty for Stamkos

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Newsies, Pants Loves, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Saturday was an epic hockey marathon featuring every team in the NHL.  Some games were for playoff position, others were a last hurrah.  For me, not even that killer Caps win came close to seeing Steven Stamkos score his 60th goal of the season.

And get a pie in the face.

Stop looking at Ran Malone’s tattoos and focus! [video]

Stamkos is the 20th player in NHL history to score 60 in a season.  He got 48 of them at even strength.  Probably all of them were from Squishy (not an actual statistic).  Brittany (@kneesandtoews) and I were Landeskoging all over the place.  She is the biggest Bolts fan we know (actual statistic).

Summer is already too long.

Sunday was for drying tears over the teams we won’t see again until September.  To send you all off, an adorable story about Stammer & Marty, Best Friends Forever [link].

And two post-game interviews, one regular [link] and one in which Ryan Malone’s tattoos (on his stomach?!) once again steal the show:

Two for the Road

- Posted in Newsies

We don’t watch as much Western Conference hockey as we’d like – it’s past our bedtimes.  For those who do, and whose teams ended their 2011-2012 seasons last night, this one’s for you.

The Dallas Stars finished in 9th place last year too.  Frustrated but the hopeful.  The ultimate hockey fan emotions.

Flames fans are a tough bunch, just ask Lindsay.  You can’t ever get tickets, and they haven’t made the playoffs in three years.  That’s dedication.  Do the damned Canucks have to be first *every* year?!

The Avalanche have a few up-and-comers among our favorite players to watch.  They had some rich years, and we think they’re coming back.  More Landeskoging, please.

I once figured that based on all the consecutive sellouts the Wild had, including pre-season games, that you could put a second NHL franchise in their parking lot and it would see more tickets than the Coyotes every night.  We are beyond impressed.

Anaheim.  I don’t know what the hell happened there, but this team should be tearing it up.  I’d like to see them give this top notch cast another season – Ryan, Perry, and Getzlaf if he can find his mojo.  And Teemu, please play forever.

The Oilers are rebuilding away.  With Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins clicking and a strong team behind them, it’ll be watch out world.

Columbus, don’t give up.  We know it hurts with Nash and that the wait has been long.  We hope a new chapter is starting.  Oh, and we’re coming to visit for the All-Star Game.

So long to the favorites who finished – play some golf, get healthy and come back hungry.  Now,on to those still left.

Foxy Friday: Braden Holtby

- Posted in Foxy Friday

Listen people, we need to win.  The Caps are down two goalies after Michael Neuvirth injured his leg and left last night’s game in the second period.  Their PR guy dressed as backup goalie for practice this morning!  Have I mentioned the playoffs start next week?

Cue Braden Holtby.

It's a sin to put a mask over that face.

Holtby has been the backup-backup goaltender this season, starting six games at the NHL level.  He will start Saturday against the Caps potential first-round foe, the Rangers.  He’s just 22 years old, from Lloydminster, Saskatchewan.  Imagine having to write that return address on a letter?  Lloydminster actually straddles the Alberta/Saskatchewan border, but Braden’s listed as being from Saskatchewan (because it’s fun to say).

Braden owns a Detroit Tigers hat (he wore it at the Caps convention) and that makes Gator cheer extra loud everytime he takes the ice.  We are *really* pulling for Holts to rock in the playoffs.  Not just for the wins, but because we love a good story!  (And winning.)

Braden has sported some pretty amazing facial hair in the past, and can grow a Letang-style scuff in about an hour.  Here’s hoping that a full, burly playoff beard doesn’t interfere with his mask because we’d love to see it.  Give Alzer a run for his money, eh?

Neuvy had to shade his eyes from this grooming choice.

Braden got the win last night, and was so aw-shucks in the post-game that you might have to hug something. [link]

Not to get you all happy then break your hearts, but Holtby is engaged and his fiancee is pregnant.  Hockey babies!  They will undoubtedly inherit their dad’s really great hair.  The Caps’ Keith Aucoin just named his baby Brayden… what’s Holts going to do?

He’s going to win first, then figure it out.  Then get a big contract for the Show and bring this face to the Phone Booth every game next season.

Wear the hat! More winning!

Follow Braden on Twitter – @Holts170.