Whyyouwannabringmedown?

As if the lockout wasn’t bad enough, Steven Stamkos hates me.  He seems to think that in this terrible time, I should suffer even more.

I’m not even talking about those pants.

A beard?!  Stopityouarekillingme!  How dare you look this charming and reference the playoffs when the only hockey I can get is reruns of 24/7??

This is like a Christmas window full of presents I cannot have.  And it gets worse.

A ginger beard.  On James Neal.  Who I should be seeing tonight at the Penguins/Capitals Halloween Hockey Extravaganza!  DAMN YOU, BETTMAN!  You’ve ruined my chance to freeze my butt off in a completely inappropriate and hilarious costume!

Just leave me here to die.

Note to the Staals: If any of you turn up with those Amish thing right now, I’m really going to lose my sh*t.

Champs for Charity

While the East Coast was stockpiling batteries and Twizzlers on Friday in anticipation of Frankenstormpocalypse, the Chicago Blackhawks and friends were playing in the Champs for Charity hockey game.

Photos from the Chicago Tribune

 They look as happy as I feel, and I wasn’t even there!  All it takes is a little hockey.  Even Jon is giddy – you know that means desperate times.  Troy Brouwer doesn’t know if he should trust this new Jon, who looks ready to faint in a princess swoon when the Disney logo comes on screen.

You can read here all about the good times, including goalie penalty shots, mock fights, even a plaid suit.  There were choreographed goal celebrations!  Chuck and I love nothing more than a good dance routine (cue She’s All That)!

Cubs/Coach Ryan Dempster with the Ice Crew- photo Elliot Harris

Among the players in attendance were these guys, along with Bobby Ryan, Shawn Thornton, JStaal and many more smiles.

Loads of photos to make you wish for an alternate, non-lockout universe:

Hockey Broad

Art by Melissa G

Bonus – Ronald McDonald House press conference:

Blackhawks, past and present, being flawless.

They’ve got 99 Problems – But a Rink Ain’t 1!

Guest post from our college friend (and Islanders Fan), Comando.

Yes, his name really is Comando.

We kid you not.


After 10 years of failed attempts to build a new arena on Long Island, the New York

Islanders finally have a new home – in Brooklyn.

Wait, what?

How could a team called “Islanders” play somewhere other than Long Island?

Technically, Brooklyn is the westernmost county on Long Island. Don’t believe me? Check Wikipedia.

The Islanders still exist? Yes, they do, though they haven’t been relevant in decades.

The Islanders have been a laughingstock in the league since the mid-90s. Poor ownership and poorer management (read: Mike Milbury) led to losing season after losing season.  Attendance faltered, but not because the team had no fans. Some boycotted to send a message to ownership that they weren’t happy with the direction of the team. Others stayed away because the team flat-out sucked.

But one thing everyone agreed on is that the Islanders’ home, the Nassau Coliseum, is a dump. If you haven’t been there, consider yourself lucky.

 

Islanders’ current owner Charles Wang tried his best to keep the team in Nassau County.  He proposed numerous plans for a new arena, even offering to pay for the construction himself.

A no-brainer, right?

Nope.

Due to politics and the stupidity of the decision makers on the Island, every option was shot down.

With the team’s lease up in 2015, it appeared the Islanders would be goners. Other cities made overtures to lure the franchise, including Kansas City and Quebec. But Charles Wang was determined to keep the Islanders in the New York area, and Brooklyn answered the call.

Beginning in 2015, the Islanders will share the Barclays Center with the Brooklyn Nets, signing a 25 year lease – or, in terms an Islanders fans can relate to, the combined length of an Alexei Yashin + Rick DiPietro contract.

 

 

So now what? Will Jay-Z be named GM?

After all, this team hired their backup goaltender as their GM.

But seriously, this is a win-win for everyone involved. The Islanders can finally operate as a professional franchise. Revenue should improve with a modern arena to welcome fans and a more favorable lease for the team. The Islanders can maintain a reasonable payroll, and free agents may sign with the team now that they have a decent place to play and players know the team won’t be shipping off to some unknown city at any given time. Heck, this team may actually make the playoffs sometime this century!

Now, if we can just get this lockout resolved before 2015…

 

 

Foxy Friday: Trevor Linden

This lockout has got us all discombobulated.

Our minds just aren’t functioning the way they should in October.

We should be spending our evenings watching ridiculous amounts of hockey [courtesy of NHL Center Ice] and blogging incessantly.

Instead, we are forced to do things like laundry.  Cleaning the bathroom. Reorganizing our closets.  Macrame. Baking cakes.

Okay so maybe baking cakes isn’t all that bad.  (But it is bad when you are so depressed by the lack of hockey that wind up eating half of it in one sitting.)  Hashtag – FatKid.

Another horrible side effect of the lockout is that it is really hard for us to pick new Foxy Friday honorees each week.  When you can’t see all the new young faces and their FF potential, it’s like wicked hard.

But that is where the Foxy Friday Flashback comes in to save the day.

And who better to save the day than Trevor Linden.

Seriously, we should give it to him just for his hair alone.  Look at it, people.

Perfection.

But TL isn’t getting inducted into the Phi Phi Phi just for his coif alone.

Linden was the #2 overall pick in the 1988 NHL Entry Draft. #1 pick was Mike Modano.

He’s got a sweet ride.

Over his 20-year NHL career, he played in 1,382 games, scored 375 goals, had 492 assists, and 119 power play goals.  And a few bumps and bruises.

When he retired twenty years to the day that he was drafted, he retired as one of the most beloved and well respected athletes in Vancouver and the entire NHL.

He founded the Trevor Linden Foundation to raise money for local charities and makes frequent appearances at the British Columbia Children’s Hospital and Canuck Place, a hospice for terminally ill children.

He’s been named to both the Order of British Columbia and the Order of Canada.  What’s next? Sir Trevor Linden?

He’s way into cycling.  You can tell because of those super tight bike shorts.

Girls always make passes at boys in good glasses.

 

But besides all of these things, Trevor Linden is just a class act of a guy.

Here’s an interesting fact that you might like to know –  Linden was the player rep to the NHLPA, and was later elected as president of the NHLPA in June 1998.  He was actively involved in negotiations with the NHL and Gary Bettman on the CBA that ended the 2004-05 lockout.

Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

Is it time to get Trevor Linden out there to work his silver-fox hockey man magic on this current lockout?

Help.

Follow #16 on the twitter at @Trevor_Linden  

Ooooooklahoma! (I had to.)

Well someone’s playing hockey – and having a lot of fun doing it. If you think that I saw this link on Twitter last night, got out of bed and went to my computer to watch it with better video quality, you guessed right!

Emilio Estevez – Post-Game [link]

In which he calls a teammate “whats-his-name,” but you’d forgive him for that smile.  He could bring you a rescued puppy too.

Molly Ringwald – Post-Game

The lady who waxes my eyebrows would weep with joy over this video.  They are the kind of perfect shape that allows churches to be built so gracefully high.

We should go to this.  What are you doing this weekend?  We can fly to OKC on Friday and wear our Halloween costumes (Breakfast Club inspired, of course).

 Not a costume if you wear it every day!

The Barons are giving away cars, so we’ll have a ride home Sunday after our second game.

Seriously. How good do two hockey games sound right now?  We would obviously stay for post-game festivities and toe picking:

Following home games on October 28, January 13, April 7 and April 20, several members of the Barons will be available for a 45-minute postgame skate with the team. The Barons provide skates to rent at no charge or you may bring your own.

I used to do this back home with the Albany River Rats (now Devils).  Excellent awkward teen photos/memories were created, to be trotted out at my wedding.  Of course.

Chuck?  Not convinced?

Mikey Monday: Want Ads

Yesterday, Mike asked:

So are we, my friend.  While we’re sure Mike would look be great at lifting heavy things around the WUYS office, some actual work must be done here.  We can’t just be watching the help all day long, asking them to get things off high shelves and turning the heat up full blast before they start rearranging furniture (Intern Jeff Skinner notwishstanding).

Let’s take a look back at a few non-hockey jobs that Mike is well qualified for.

Car salesman – We suggest more laying on the hood.

Construction Worker – You know, the old Diet Coke commercial kind [link].

Personal Trainer – We might need this one demonstrated a few times.

Chair – This kind of thing is probably in Ovi’s contract over there.

Hair Stylist – Because this does not just happen.

Chef – For long days of lockout-inspired emotional eating.

The Guy Who Makes This Face – Whenever your boss asks for something stupid.

Gravity Tester – Yup, still works.  He’s got a lot of references.

Hugger – This should be an actual profession.  Mike would make $6 million/year look like a bargain.

We’ll need to come up with new jobs for ourselves if this goes on much longer.  Maybe Mike has some ideas.

F&%$ You, Friday.

I can’t do a Foxy Friday when I’m this upset.  Furious Friday, maybe.

You can read all about the depressing turndowns of the NHL and NHPLA competing offers at yesterday’s meetings in Toronto.  I have seen enough.

The NHL took a swing at the PR tide by announcing a 50/50 offer to the NHLPA.  It’s a smart move – 50/50 is like Buy One, Get One or the difference between $999 and $1000.  In your mind, it automatically sounds like a great deal.  Half of us would already be out the door with a second pair of shoes.

Alas, there were no new shoes.  The deal wasn’t really 50/50, or no one knows what 50/50 means, and the NHLPA said they’d take an honest split so long as it honored existing contracts that may or may not have been signed originally during escrow so the value was changeable anyway.  Got all that?  Me neither.

Recommended reading: Bleacher Report, SB Nation and Puck Daddy.

It simply means there is still no hockey.  Maybe we’re closer – at least they both said 50/50 in the same day.  Maybe not, and Sid and Jon will now spend their unemployment with the Secret Service.  It’s closer than Europe.

Wow, they are pissed.  Me too!  But I look like a Furby and they look like:

They make this look good. 

It’s a little scary.

Still, don’t you get the feeling they could save the day, if only you’ll trust them?

Spandex suits would be convincing.

Let’s consider for a moment that you will never win an argument with Jonathan Toews.  If your Orangina leaves a ring on his fancy coffee table, Jon will NEVER forget about it.  He will look at the stain, then look at you with this disappointment and heartache for eternity.

No really, he’s mad.

Don’t expect any help from Jon’s mom, she always liked Sidney better than you. [link]  Frankly, we cannot blame her.

Poor Sid.  He’s spending the lockout laughing a Giroux, grocery shopping and building his new house. [link]  We’ve spent the lockout wondering if he has those rainfall showers.  Those are amazing.

In all seriousness (about the shower), this breaks my heart.  It wounded me when he missed time, resurrected me with his comeback and then killed me when he had to sit.  Now that he’s back… damn it, Universe.  Just let him play already!

You can’t stop the Sidney.

What do we do now?  The same thing we do everyday.  Try to take over the world.  A world in which Bettman works the graveyard shift at Taco Bell, but they’re out of the Dorito tacos and it’s non-stop verbal abuse from hooligan kids and drunks walking up to the drive-thru. (My hatred gets specific.)

A world in which this is every day:

 Hawks alumni to play charity game on 10/26 [link]

Except Sundays, which are saved for:

This girl shirt never stood a chance

Crosby considers European lockout alternatives… [link].

And we’re not the only ones with the hots for the Crosby-Giroux girlfight – Puck Daddy knows what’s up. [link]

Foxy Friday: Evander Kane

By popular demand!!

Every time we’ve sent out the request for Foxy Friday nominations, this guy’s name has come up multiple times.

In all fairness, I didn’t really know who he was.  I mean I knew WHO he was, but didn’t know why the hockey twitterverse was all a-flutter about the kid with the cool, comic book villian name.

Then I went to tumblr.

Now I get it.

He’s kinda boss.

First of all, he’s got great taste in friends.

He’s not afraid to take fashion risks.

He’s got a mean right hook.  And by mean, we mean MEAN.  Like Mr. Chow in “The Hangover” MEAN.

 

He has perfected his “Hey Gurl” look.

Last season, Kane had a very respectable 57 points for the Jets (30 G, 27 A).  He was +11 and had 53 minutes of shame.  In September, he signed a six-year contract to remain a Jet.

Currently, he is playing for Minsk in the KHL along with Joe Pavelski and Pekka Rinne until this ridiculous lockout gets sorted out.

Until then, we’ll just have to follow him on the twitter [@EKane9Jets]

Personally, we’re waiting for a photo of him in a giant furry Russian hat….

 

Yup. Still Here.

The NHLPA and NHL cannot get anything done.  Neither can I.   Only the reasons are different.

The NHL sees this photo and says: So you think you can dance?

The NHLPA posts this photo and says: Goonies never say die.

I see this photo and say: Where is my damn Mexicola, Intern Jeff Skinner?!

Just put me out of my misery already.  Every laugh turns into tears.

Getting Through Days

I seem to have failed, through all the posts and games and screaming fits, to truly appreciate one aspect of hockey’s influence on my life: stress relief.  Sure I get worked up about the games – rip a pillow, maybe throw a shoe – but it vents all my work frustration at the same time.  Without it, I’m really snippy.  I need to run daily, faster and farther than normal, and anytime I see the Yankees on TV I start growling like a lion in the zoo.

Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

The NHL Lockout: Progress?

Here’s Chocolate Iced, with an update on the bane of our existence, the NHL Lockout.


The NHL has made a new offer to the NHLPA in an attempt to re-start negotiations and put an end to a lockout that threatens the entire 2012-2013.  With many NHL players already active in other professional leagues around the world, NHL fans are looking for anything that might signal a return to NHL hockey.  Before we start popping the champagne, let’s take a look at the owners’ latest offer.

First, there were not many details released about the new offer.  What we know is that the offer would govern at least the next six years, and proposes a 50-50 split of HRR or Hockey Related Revenue.

You’ll recall that part of the reason for the lockout is that players were taking in approximately 57% of HRR as the last collective bargaining agreement expired.  The new offer also removes the league’s demand that salaries be “rolled back” on current player contracts (those at the 57% HRR levels).

In other words, the owners are willing to honor the existing salary contracts they signed with the players.  Imagine that!

There are also indications that the league is still pushing for a maximum contract length of five years.  The offer would also allow players to achieve unrestricted free agency at age 28 or after eight years of service–one additional year compared to the last collective bargaining agreement.

The league is trying to save a full 82 game season, with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman saying of the offer, “It is our best shot at preserving an 82-game regular season and [Stanley Cup] Playoffs.” The head of the NHLPA, Donald Fehr, also had very brief comments about the offer:

“We, of course, share that view and would like to get a full 82-game season in. And, so, what our hope is that after we review this that there will be a feeling on the players’ side that this is a proposal from which we can negotiate and try to reach a conclusion. But, we are not in a position to make any comments about it beyond that at this point.”

The NHLPA’s executive committee, consisting of the bargaining committee and player representatives from all 30 teams had a conference call scheduled for 5pm Eastern today to discuss the new offer.

While this latest move by the NHL is cause for cautious optimism in my opinion, several potential stumbling blocks remain.

The largest one that I see is the very definition of HRR.  The owners presumably still want to change the definition of HRR to include less items, thus lowering the amount of HRR, which in turn lowers the amount of cash they are required to split with the players. How does the new offer deal with this issue?

One other potential problem is revenue sharing.  This was a big one for the players in the last round of negotiations and chances are that they still want to see a significant increase in the percentage of revenues shared to help struggling teams.

The devil will definitely be in the details on this one.  We’ll just have to wait and see how this all unfolds.

I, for one hope, that both sides will recognize the damage they are doing to their product and fan base and get a deal done.

We Were Merely Freshman

This year, Boston University has a corps of nine freshman looking to make their mark on the Terriers and Hockey East.  The five forwards, two defensemen and two goaltenders come to Comm Ave. with very high expectations.

No doubt the story of the season will be the two freshman goaltenders – Matt O’Connor and Sean Maguire.  Both are big netminders – O’Connor is Pekka Rinne-sized at 6’5″, 201lbs and Maguire is no slouch either at 6’2″, 202lbs.

They probably could stand to hit up Rhett’s or Cranberry Farms at the Student Union just a little more frequently, but we highly suggest taking advantage of BU’s excellent strength and conditioning program.

We also suggest filming said strength and conditioning workouts and posting them on the interwebs.

You know how we feel about hockey workout videos.

Following s statistical info taken from www.goterriers.com

Matt O’Connor
G • 6-5 • 195 • Toronto, Ont. • Youngstown Phantoms (USHL)

Spent last two seasons with Youngstown, helping Phantoms reach 2012 USHL Eastern Conference semifinals … Finished 2011-12 season with a record of 28-16-5, a 3.04 goals-against average and a .902 save percentage … Tied for second in the league in wins and was second in saves (1350) … Spent two years in OJHL with Upper Canada Patriots and Burlington Cougars … Posted .903 save percentage in 2009-10 … Was OJHL’s only 16-year-old goalie in 2008-09 for expansion Upper Canada club.

Parker on O’Connor: “Matt’s another goalie with great size. He was the backstop of a pretty good USHL team, but he was the go-to guy for that team. He saw a lot of pucks. He had a real good career there, and despite an injury that kept him back a little bit, he emerged as one of the premier goalies in the league. We’re confident that he and Maguire can give us a one-two punch right off the bat.”

Sean Maguire
G • 6-2 • 202 • Powell River, B.C. • Powell River Kings (BCHL)

Played two seasons with Powell River, posting a record of 27-15-1 with a 2.39 goals-against average and a .910 save percentage in 52 games … Guided team to BCHL finals this past season and back-to-back Coastal Conference titles … Named a 2012 Second Team All-Star … Backstopped Team Canada West to a gold medal at the World Junior A Challenge in November and was named tournament’s top goaltender … Two-time co-winner of the BCHL’s Wally Forslund Memorial Trophy (lowest combined GAA) … Selected by the Pittsburgh Penguins in the fourth round (113th overall) in the 2012 NHL Entry Draft.

Parker on Maguire: “Maguire’s a big guy who fills a lot of the net and he’s got a lot of talent. He had a real good junior career in Canada. We’ve known him for a couple of years and really like him. We knew we were coming to this point where we were losing two senior goalies and we were very fortunate to get him.”

And if that wasn’t enough, they are also both celebrity doppelgängers!   

Liam Hemsworth & Chris Evans’ love child

AKA Finn from “Glee”

Seriously.

We love this.

If this alone doesn’t get you the cheer for them…well, then…you’re just dumb.

Follow them on the Twitter:
Matt O’Connor – @MatttOConnor
Sean Maguire – @smag31

 

Mikey Monday: End Zone

Bored with the lockout, Mike and I are both rebound-dating the NFL.  Yesterday we watched the Ravens game.  Only difference is, he was there.  I was at a pumpkin patch on a hay ride with no hay.

It’s a metaphor for my life.

from www.RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com

Don’t start sticking your hands in your pockets now, buddy.  Bonus for all those number 52s.

 

Happy Birthday, Pants!

Obligatory Birthday Post!

Happy Birthday to my dear dear friend and hockey partner-in-crime, Pants!

Now I know that this whole stupid lock out thing has got you depressed.  Hopefully these amazing gifs will cheer you up…

 

Go On, Give In.

Long before this happened, Berlin was one of my favorite cities I’ve ever visited.

Now…

Gingeroux and Legolas have arrived in Berlin play for the Ice Bears (that’s Eisbaren for those of you translating at home).  They’ve begun practicing with the team.  I’ve begun wondering when Coca-Cola is going to sue someone for making their polar bear mascot look so angry.  “Nein! Nein! Nein!”

In the German language, you can combine multiple words to make a new word, precisely expressing your meaning.  That happens all the time with Jess – I believe “fangirl deathsplosion” and “ragestroke” were two of her coined phrases.

I wish we could hear what G & D are saying in their secret language.

Gosh.

Oh gosh.

Siiiiiiiiigh.

 Danny Briere’s plaid shirt and short, adorable single dad-ness will be the death of me.  Claude is wearing inspirational messaging t-shirts brought to you by those square quote cards that cost extra postage (bonus sweatpants).

If you can handle one more moment of this (hint: hug a pillow), here’s a video of their arrival [link] and their press conference [link].  The Ice Bears site even has Danny listed as Danny Briere, not Daniel.  Why is that so perfect?!

Excuse me, I have to go sit in Time Out and say the rosary 87 times.

You’re All I Need To Get By

For weeks now, I’ve been wishing and hoping and praying (and sticking pins in my Gary Bettman voodoo doll) that this ridiculous lockout would come to an end.

With no foreseeable resolution in sight, I have to focus my hockey attention elsewhere…for the sake of my own mental health and for those around me.

Luckily, Sunday was the unofficial start of the Boston University Men’s Hockey season.  Although college hockey will never be the NHL, it is a very welcome and satiating alternative, especially at BU.

You see, BU Hockey is one of the premier college hockey programs in the country.  It has produced countless numbers of NHL stars, Olympic medal winners, and All-Americans.  They won national championships, the most recent in 2009 in what can only be describe as an “epic OT win”.

Three years later and I still get goosebumps every time I see this clip.

Additionally, BU is a member of Hockey East which includes Boston College, Maine, University of New Hampshire, and UMass (Lowell & Massachusetts), who have also produced NHL-caliber talent.  Add in Notre Dame next season and you’d be hard pressed to find a more competitive and prestigious conference in NCAA Hockey.

But the thing I love most about college hockey is the “Before They Were Famous” cache.  You have a chance to watch players grow – not only physically but in their understanding of the game of hockey.

Their passes become sharper, their slapshots more accurate, their hits harder.  And then for the lucky few who do make it into the NHL, you gets to say “I saw them when”.

When they make it to the NHL, you cheer them on, even when they play for your arch rival.

You always write them in on the All-Star ballot, even if they have no chance of making it.

BU had a rough go of it in the off-season with major internal drama and the loss of key players.  The team has 9 freshman, include 2 goalies who will fight for the starting job, but watching them on Sunday, I’m filled with a tentative optimism for the season ahead.

Alot can happen in college hockey. The pendulum can swing from one extreme to another over the course of a season, a game, or even a period.

College hockey might be an imperfect game but it is exciting, entertaining, and passionate.

And right now, it’s the only game I got.

 

Sid’s Secret Weapon

The girls are all in a tizz on the Twitter over this Crosby video, and now I can finally see why.  DAMN COLORADO, what is in your water?  Is that why Gabe is so Gabe all the time?  We thought it was Sweden.

Sid has never looked better… he even seems fit to burst out laughing any second.  Not saying I don’t want him back cross-checking someone in the crease but vacation has done this man some serious good.

Now honestly, stop. You’re ruining my life.

Don’t give me that aw-shucks crap.  Every time you say “stick” or “quick release” or “hard shot” some teenybopper faints and Intern Jeff Skinner has to fetch the smelling salts again.

Jeez, with a smile like that you could see me a bridge and I’d tell you to keep the change.

Mikey Monday: Push It

So it’s Monday morning and I’ve already torn my jeans and gotten the wrong ice tea from Dunkin Donuts.  Everyone in DC is off work except for me, because the movie industry does not care about the alleged discovery of the New World.

Sorry Columbus.  There’s only one way to save this Monday:

New Mike Green Workout Videos!

Something called Bear Mountain, which involves squats [link]

Sled Pushes [link]

And the best – Explosive Kesier Rotations [link], clearly directed by me.

“Okay, ready Mike?”

“Action.”

“Let’s try another camera angle.”

“Hey, I found the zoom.”

“And the super slow motion button.”

“Now Mike, does this workout have anything to do with you scoring two goals in your first playoff game in 2008?”

“Yeah, probably not, but let’s see the big goal video anyway [link], since it has infographics and innuendo-like captions.”

“That’s the kind of math we can understand.  Now, any chance you’ll show us your long hair?”

“Eh, almost.  Maybe next Monday.”

Call Me Maybe

The moral of this story is that Tyler Seguin still isn’t wearing a shirt.

Adorable family, but where is Marshall the puppy?  Does he have an iPad so we can Face Time?

Save Us, Foxy Friday!

You might be our only hope.

Today is Mario Lemieux’s 47th birthday.  While I’m not in the habit of liking any owners during a lockout, I have to do something to celebrate Le Magnifque’s existence and the fact that pushing 50, he’s still super foxy.

If you’re old like we are, Mario Lemieux has been a staple of your lifelong hockey existence.  We’re still a long way from 47, so we prefer to think back to ourselves at the time of Lemieux’s career highlights.  To illustrate the point, I’ve included some pretty embarrassing visuals of my own life in Mario’s time.

On Oct. 11, 1984, in his first game, on his first shift, on his first shot, Mario scored his NHL first goal.  That was my 5th birthday.

Pants, the day of Mario’s first NHL goal

He famously overcame Hodgkins Disease – on the day of his final 1993 radiation treatment, after missing two months of the season, Mario chartered himself a plane, flew to Philly and played.  The Flyers fans gave him a standing ovation.  He had a goal and an assist that game.

Mario appeared in just 60 games that year – before and after cancer treatment – and still won the scoring title.  What did you do today?

Pants, circa 1993 (rocking the Jagr hair)

Does everyone know these stories already?  I just love to hear them.  The man is a hero in every sense of the word.

 

During the ’04-’05 lockout, Mario was both a player and part-owner of the Penguins.  That must have been very difficult.  The League asked owners not to discuss the lockout, so Mario couldn’t say anything publically while he suffered along with the rest of us.

Pants “suffering” in Vegas (wearing a Red Sox ’04 World Series ring)

I didn’t know this story about Bettman’s complete ass-hattery – there are so many, and I was so angry.

It’s hard to forget how Bettman initially canceled the 2004-05 season, then put out a last-ditch request three days later for Wayne Gretzky, then a part-owner of the Phoenix Coyotes, and Mario Lemieux, then still a player/owner for the Penguins, to fly ASAP to New York in the hopes of bridging the angry divide between players and ownership and brokering an agreement.

But when both men answered Bettman’s drop-everything request… the two legends found that Bettman and then-union leader Bob Goodenow weren’t even in the negotiating room. The antagonism was as high as ever, and the season was called off for good within several hours, without a single new proposal being offered by either side.

– Johnette Howard, ESPN.com [link]

When it came down to brass tacks in the summer of ’05, when everyone knew they couldn’t possibly afford to lose a second straight season, Mario said the players should have taken the deal offered by the League in February ’05.  He forecast a worse deal in the summer.  Well that worse deal is what just expired.

Mario bailed out the Penguins many times.  He, and other players, deferred their salaries in the mid-90’s after bad management ran the team into the red just a few years after winning back-to-back Cups (’91 and ’92).  In 1998, the Pens declared bankruptcy.  Mario put the money they owed him into equity and bought the majority stake in the team.  He kept them in the ‘Burgh and began the enormous task of turning the team around.

They missed the playoffs in ’02, ’03, ’04 and post-lockout in ’06 (Crosby’s rookie year).  But in 2009 they won the Stanley Cup.

Pants on Bourbon St., Halloween 2009 with the Penguins Stanley Cup

With another lockout on our hands, and two weeks of the season already cancelled, what does Mario say now?

Nothing.  He can’t, I’m sure, bound by the same rule from the last time.  But I’d do some serious breaking-and-entering to find out what Mario’s not telling the media.  Lemieux has chosen few moments to speak out, and the words have always hit home.  In ’92 he called the NHL a “garage league,” a moniker making the popular rounds now in reference to Bettman’s leadership.   In 2011, he blasted the League for not punishing teams who don’t control their players – knowing he’d spark criticism of himself for employing Matt Cooke.

Lemieux is an owner now and lines have been drawn, but I can’t help hoping he’s in there, furious, fighting for the game and for us.  Hell, he already put his own money on the line twice.

Pants & Chuck enjoying Mario’s money – March 2011

According to Crosby, the personal relationship between him and Lemieux is fine as they both understand their roles in this conflict. [link]

What else could Sid say?  Mario makes some mean unbuttered toast?

What do you think?  Does the lockout have me grasping at straws or does the presence of someone like Lemieux, who’s been on both sides of this table (even at the same time), give you a glimmer of hope that someone in those owners meetings doesn’t have a heart three sizes too small?

Pants & Chuck with Tin Foil Stanley – Pants’ wedding, 2011

(I hope you guys appreciate this, those are some horrible photos of me!)