I can’t do a Foxy Friday when I’m this upset. Furious Friday, maybe.
You can read all about the depressing turndowns of the NHL and NHPLA competing offers at yesterday’s meetings in Toronto. I have seen enough.
The NHL took a swing at the PR tide by announcing a 50/50 offer to the NHLPA. It’s a smart move – 50/50 is like Buy One, Get One or the difference between $999 and $1000. In your mind, it automatically sounds like a great deal. Half of us would already be out the door with a second pair of shoes.
Alas, there were no new shoes. The deal wasn’t really 50/50, or no one knows what 50/50 means, and the NHLPA said they’d take an honest split so long as it honored existing contracts that may or may not have been signed originally during escrow so the value was changeable anyway. Got all that? Me neither.
Recommended reading: Bleacher Report, SB Nation and Puck Daddy.
It simply means there is still no hockey. Maybe we’re closer – at least they both said 50/50 in the same day. Maybe not, and Sid and Jon will now spend their unemployment with the Secret Service. It’s closer than Europe.
Wow, they are pissed. Me too! But I look like a Furby and they look like:
They make this look good.
It’s a little scary.
Still, don’t you get the feeling they could save the day, if only you’ll trust them?
Spandex suits would be convincing.
Let’s consider for a moment that you will never win an argument with Jonathan Toews. If your Orangina leaves a ring on his fancy coffee table, Jon will NEVER forget about it. He will look at the stain, then look at you with this disappointment and heartache for eternity.
No really, he’s mad.
Don’t expect any help from Jon’s mom, she always liked Sidney better than you. [link] Frankly, we cannot blame her.
Poor Sid. He’s spending the lockout laughing a Giroux, grocery shopping and building his new house. [link] We’ve spent the lockout wondering if he has those rainfall showers. Those are amazing.
In all seriousness (about the shower), this breaks my heart. It wounded me when he missed time, resurrected me with his comeback and then killed me when he had to sit. Now that he’s back… damn it, Universe. Just let him play already!
You can’t stop the Sidney.
What do we do now? The same thing we do everyday. Try to take over the world. A world in which Bettman works the graveyard shift at Taco Bell, but they’re out of the Dorito tacos and it’s non-stop verbal abuse from hooligan kids and drunks walking up to the drive-thru. (My hatred gets specific.)
A world in which this is every day:
Hawks alumni to play charity game on 10/26 [link]
Except Sundays, which are saved for:
This girl shirt never stood a chance
Crosby considers European lockout alternatives… [link].
And we’re not the only ones with the hots for the Crosby-Giroux girlfight – Puck Daddy knows what’s up. [link]
Tags: jonathan toews, lockout, Sidney Crosby
I if can’t have hockey, can I at least have Sidney cooking me Sunday brunch?
Who is the guy behind Sid in that first picture? Does Sylvester Stallone have a hockey-playing (grand)son…?
Honestly….this sums up all of my raging emotions. My emotions that have gone unchecked – ranging from hormonal at the sight of these boys in suits again….to rage that both sides can’t make a deal.
I get that the players want a fair deal and I haven’t delved too much into the specifics of the offers but someone mentioned yesterday that the players had made more than $1 billion in concessions. Which gets me thinking….”You have billions of concessions to make and we can’t get a deal done?”
At the end of the day I just want hockey. And a world where I see these hot men demonstrate their ridiculous talent on the ice. Where the sight of my Pens and Hawks clothing in the closet doesn’t make me weep.
I’m wearing a Pens sweatshirt today and already two Caps fans have come up to me and started talking about it. We are building bridges, why can’t the NHL!?
I wore my Hawks sweatshirt yesterday. Mostly to attone for enjoying the Canucks charity game a little too much.
“The Year Without A Sidney Claus” Meh… I’m just watching more college and NFL football!!! But hockey is my ex and I’m just pretending that I don’t want to get back together!
(Lockout sadness aside…)
Somebody snapped a pic of Toews shopping for a Halloween costume the other day. I am now PRAYING that is Avengers. If the universe is kind to us, there will be pictures.
Also, I cannot even DISCUSS the hotness of these men in suits, or specifically the way Sid is destroying that t-shirt or Jon’s waffle-weave boyfriend shirt because I will lose my mind.
I just figure the NHL has given me carte-blanche to longer be accountable for my thoughts or actions.
I actually cried at work yesterday when I heard all of the news coming out of the meeting. Not my finest moment.
But I just want the game back. I want all the boys back in North America. I want to hate the Canadiens while secretly cheering for Prusty. I want to see Adam McQuaid punching people in the face while looking like the hottest lunatic on the block. I want to watch 24/7 to hopefully see Joff play the guitar and make fun of Phil Kessel. I want Sid and Claude to break some more wrists.
I just want it all back. Get it done already.