Pants and Chuck Predict the Future

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, We Love

The day we’ve long-awaited has finally arrived!

Hockey is back!

The lockout-shortened 2013 NHL Season starts today and I know you are just as excited as we are.

Pants has been cartwheeling down the WUYS hallways, while I’ve taken to spinning around and around in my office chair, screaming “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.

Time for our 2013 Season Predictions!!

Eastern Conference

#1 –

Chuck: Rangers. They were *thisclose* last year, so they went out and picked up Rick Nash in the off-season. Not only does this adds much-needed offense but also takes some pressure off of Lundqvist. NYR are a built for another long, tough playoff run.

Pants: Penguins.  I’m always going to say this, at least in the Crosby era.  He’ll have a monster year, added to Geno & Neal lighting it up like last season.  A healthy Letang is a threat on both ends of the ice, and hopefully Flower asks his GAA to go steady.  They’ve got the most offensive firepower in the NHL, enough to cover a few hiccups in the defensive zone.

#2 –

Chuck: Bruins. I might be slightly biased but I’m not the only one that thinks the Bruins have a shot.  Many of the Bruins stars played overseas during the lockout so they should be fit and game ready. Tyler Seguin looks to build on his 2 great season and become the superstar we know he can be.  Fans should be ready for Tuukka Time as Rask will take on the brunt of the goaltending duties with Tim Thomas “retired.”

Pants: Rangers.  I don’t want this to be true, but they’re so strong.  They were a powerhouse before Rick Nash.  If he’s really as good as promised, if he can bring them 40+ goals alongside Gaborik and Richards, they’ll dominate in front of  King Henrik’s debonair brick wall.

#3 –

Chuck: Penguins. Pens only finished a point out of first – and most of that without Sidney Crosby. Reports suggest that his is fully recovered from concussion. If this is in fact true, then the Pens will once again contend for the Stanley Cup.  The departure of Jordan Staal could be a factor but when you’ve got Malkin & Neal, I’m thinking that you’re probably all right.  It will be interesting to see how the defense and goalie tandem of Vokoun and Fleury perform in this shortened season.

Pants: Capitals.  I’m the Queen of Wishful Thinking.  Ovi responded like a brat to having his wings clipped by Hunter last season.  Now Oates is in (and Semin out, seeyalater!), hopefully Ovi will follow suit.  Better support for Backstrom, a healthy Mike Green rediscovering his offensive touch and clutch guys like Chimera make the Caps very promising.

#4 –

Chuck: Capitals. Caps are going to have to put last year behind them and reclaim their spot atop the Southeast division. We have to face the fact that Ovechkin is not the dominating player he once was, so it is up to the other to step up. New coach Adam Oates needs to get this team to perform in the post-season to live up to the Caps fans’ high expectations.

Pants: Bruins.  They’re strong, they’re mean and they’re hungry to reclaim their trophy.  Losing a goaltender like Thomas is a question mark, but their offensive chemistry can make up for it.  Seguin should have a stellar year and plenty of protection out there.

#5 –

Chuck: Flyers. Orange and Black and Red. Expect Flyers to light the lamp a lot this season, led by new captain, Claude Giroux. Captain Ginger is filthy good and is surrounded by guys that can easily score 20 + goals, even in this short season. Defense will be suspect, especially without Pronger and don’t get me started on goaltending.  It is going to be a humougous big problem.

Pants: Hurricanes.  Jordan Staal is a beast.  We only saw a fraction of it in Pittsburgh.  He’ll make Eric a stronger player and take some of the Calder-rebound defensive heat off Skinner.  If only getting a 1-year deal scares Alex Semin into proving himself, he can devastate.  Now someone hug Cam Ward, tell him he’s special, and send him out there to be consistent.

#6 –

Chuck: Lightning.  Stamkos. St Louis. Lecavalier.  Bolts can produce goals but need more from the goaltending if they want to make the playoffs.  GM Stevie Y did get G Anders Lindback from Nashville and the defense will be anchored by Matt Carle, so the potential is there.

Pants: Flyers.  Hartnell and Giroux terrify me, because I hate the Flyers.  My love for Briere only gets me so far.  But their goaltending mess is too volatile to hang any hopes on… and it’s not getting solved anytime soon.

#7 –

Chuck: Senators. So goes Erik Karlsson, so go the Senators.  He’s a bonafide superstar after winning the Norris Trophy last year and will carry this team. While teams focus on shutting Karlsson down, it could free up some of Ottawa’s young talent like Kyle Turris to make their mark.

Pants: Panthers.  I can’t overlook their success from last season, though I’m still not sure how they did it.  They’re aging up singing guys like Kovalev and Parros, but stayed mostly intact and could replicate their success.

#8 –

Chuck: Sabres. My wild card pick. So much potential last year but they stumbled out of the locker room.  They made a great playoff push at the end of the 2012 season but it just wasn’t enough.  The addition of some grit in Steve Ott & John Scott and stalwart goaltender Ryan Miller could allow the Sabres to sneak in to the #8 slot.

Pants:  Devils.  I don’t know about this.  Parise is a big loss to them, and Adam Henrique will suffer the same fate as Jeff Skinner’s sophomore season – now everyone knows to watch out for him.  That could cut his point production, leaving Kovy and Elias with even bigger loads to shoulder.

Western Conference

#1 –

Chuck: Blues. Another team that came *thisclose* to the top spot in the West last year.  St. Louis was the NHL’s top defensive team lead by Alex Pietrangelo on the blue line and the best goaltending tandem, Elliot and Halak.  David Backes will continue to be a two-way hockey machine. Ken Adams has got everyone drinking the Kool-Aid which can only bode well for the Blues.

Pants:  Canucks.  They’re just so… predictable.  Every year, right up there. It’s infuriating.

#2 –

Chuck: Canucks. No team has one the Presidents Trophy three years in a row, but that doesn’t mean that the Canucks are going to try.  Will Luongo remain the #1 goalie or will the Ginger Kid, Cory Schneider, usurp his spot? Their lineup is virtually unchanged and you can count on the Sedins to put up their usual offensive numbers.

Pants: Blackhawks.  I like this team angry.  I like them under-performing and coming back riled up.  Toews missed 22 games last season, and I think his presence is the lynch pin for this whole group.

#3 –

Chuck: Kings.   If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Every member from the Kings’ Stanley Cup team is back.  No reason to think that the Kings can’t win it all again.  Will they suffer from the hangover? Or will the added time only rejuvenate the team to make another run for the Cup?

Pants: Red Wings.  Underestimate them at your peril – but no one ever does.  They’ll be old and rich and winning, as always.

#4 –

Chuck: Blackhawks.  Chicago’s offense is stacked like a library. Toews, Kane, Sharp.  Their defense costs alot of money and they are undersized.  Regardless, the Hawks are always a team to watch.  Big questions that remain are the health of Marian Hossa and their goaltending situation. But don’t get it twisted, you will be seeing this team in the playoffs.

Pants:  St. Louis.  Another team that surprised me last year because I don’t really follow them.  Like Florida they have a lot of guys with solid number, but no real standouts.  Balance and persistence pay off in the end.

#5 –

Chuck: Predators.  My wild card prediction.  Suter might be gone and sure, they lack a dynamic scorer, but I can’t help it.  I like the Preds potential.  Pekka Rinne is a two-time Vezina finalist (and my fantasy goalie). They still got big bad Shea Weber.  Then there is crop of young talent like Colin Wilson, Brandon Yip, and Craig Smith. But most important is Barry Trotz, the only coach the Preds have ever had, who always gets the best from his players.

Pants: Edmonton.  Whaaaaa?  They can score 10 goals a game, I promise.  Add Justin Schultz with all those points he had from the Barons blue line and it might not matter what they give up.  Since they’re all young and restless, they can do it every night.

#6 –

Chuck: Wings.  This might be a stretch but you can never count the Wings out of the playoffs. Lidstrom and Holstrom are retired. Brad Stuart went adios. But when you have Datsyuk and Zetterberg leading the way, you have to put them on the list.  But they wont’ win the Cup.

Pants:  Sharks.  Every year they get into the playoffs, and every year they choke.  They’ve made the Conference Final two of the last three years, and never managed to win more than one game per series.  Something’s gotta give.  Their older guys (Thornton, Marleau, Boyle) are still among their best guys.  They’ve gotta be motivated because they’re running out of time.

#7 –

Chuck: Sharks. This team has depth. You’ve got Thornton, Marleau and Havlat. Add Couture, Pavelski, Clowe. Defense is built on Dan Boyle, our favorite homeless caveman yeti, Brent Burns, and the Pickle, M-E Vlasic. New Sharks Adam Burish & Brad Stuart shore up the blueline.

Pants: Wild.  Let’s see it, Parise and Suter.  Put that money where the playoffs are and show the Minnesota fans they’re right to be so excited.

#8 –

Chuck: Stars.  Knock knock knocking on the Playoffs door. A mix of the old (Jagr, Whitney) and the young (Eriksson, Benn) could have the Stars just sneaking into the playoffs, were they haven’t been in almost 5 years. Lehtonen is a solid goaltender but will he be able to hold on in this shorten season.  If the Stars need to make additions mid-season, he’ll have the money to do so.

Pants: Kings.  Last year’s huge playoff run was not indicative of their team capability.  They were 29th in goals-per-game.  I’m putting them here because they know how good it feels to win, and they know it can be done.  But they can’t wait till the last-minute again because no one gets that lucky twice.

So there you have it. Our 2013 season predictions.

Who do you think will go all the way?  Who is your dark horse pick?

Now, let’s drop the puck already!

 

“Look to the heavens…

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Deep Thoughts, Stanley Cup Champs

Of the Staples Center”

The Los Angeles Kings will FINALLY get to raise their Stanley Cup banner tonight and WUYS West Coast Correspondent, Aaron is hella excited about it.

Check out his post below…

So here we stand, about to embark on a far too short, forty-eight game NHL season.

Man, it sucks to get short-shrifted on our hockey this year, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that raising a certain piece of synthetic fabric to the rafters of Staples Center wasn’t going to soften the blow.

On Saturday, January 19th at 12 p.m. on the “best” coast (sorry Chuck & Pants), the Los Angeles Kings will raise their first “Stanley Cup Champions” banner in their forty-four year franchise’s history. Worth. Every. Agonizing. Moment.

Kings Banner

I’ve seen it all as a Kings fan.

And having witnessed the good, bad, and the oh-so-very ugly of being a Kings fan over the last twenty-five years, it’ll all be worth it, watching that banner get raised, tears streaming down my face like a toddler with a skinned knee.

That’s okay though, I will sob proudly, because this isn’t a moment you get to experience very often.

Kings Mikey Cry

It’s worth noting that the Kings organization chose not to mount the banner on the wall of the Staples Center, because, well, a certain NBA team was kind of hogging it.

Kings Rafters

So instead, the banner will be the first to actually hang from the rafters of Staples, which symbolizes more than a lack of real estate on the wall.

It symbolizes that Tim Lieweke and the Kings organization want to leave plenty of room for future banners. Lieweke and GM Dean Lombardi built this team from the ground up with the hope of not winning one Stanley Cup, but creating a dynasty.

Kings Press Conference

 

Seems like a smooth transition into the Kings chances of repeating. Now, it’s no secret there hasn’t been a team to repeat as Stanley Cup champions for fifteen years [1998 Detroit Red Wings.] Bottom line, it’s hard as hell to repeat.

But, and at the risk of sounding like a total “homer,” I think the Kings are poised to be the first team break the fifteen year drought.

Everyone is quick to point out the infamous Stanley Cup hangover – where the team that won the Cup struggles the following season do to an exhausting schedule of parading the Cup around all summer all the while trying to recover from injuries sustained during the elongated playoff run.

Well, considering the Kings have had an extra few months to recuperate, it’s like they ordered Grey Goose instead of the well crap and will wake up on opening day with no headache or vomiting, ready for the puck to drop.

Kings Hot Tub

The Kings are also the first team in recent memory to bring back their entire Stanley Cup winning roster.

Lucky for the Kings, there were no aging veterans, no pending free agents looking to get overpaid, and no fat to trim.

Being able to maintain that same chemistry and not having to learn to gel with new teammates is huge advantage for a team looking to repeat as Cup champs.

I’m not calling my shot, just saying that the Kings have a better shot than teams in recent past.

Finally, as the various sports news outlets put out their preseason team rankings, TSN has the Kings ranked at number ten.

Kings Power Rank

My initial feeling upon reading that was blasphemy.

After all, how could you possibly rank nine teams above the Stanley Cup winners?

After I stopped my combination of yelling and crying however, I realized that this is right where the Kings want to be.

Flying under the radar, no expectations, doing just well enough to hang around.

The Kings are basically the “According to Jim” of the regular season.

But without sucking.

Let’s do it again, boys.

 

GO KINGS GO!

written by Aaron Vaccaro, What’s Up Ya Sieve’s West Coast Correspondent

#TeamEbs For Life

- Posted in Pants Loves

If Taylor Hall wants people to be #TeamHall, he should really just be more awesome.  And wear this button down shirt.

 

Jordan’s face is the same one we make when we see Canucks jerseys:

ebs

Look how happy he makes this little girl!  She doesn’t even have teeth!

Someone should tell her this is it, as good as it gets.  She can pretty much give up now.  Unless RNH comes along – he’s her age, right?

Hockey…Resurrected!

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, Newsies, We Love

Last night, Bruins fans from near and far gathered at The Harp Boston to celebrate the return of the greatest sport on Planet Earth.

The event, dubbed “Hockey Resurrection Party” was hosted by our local sports radio station, couple of hockey blogs, including our friends at Days of Y’Orr and Boston sports apparel juggernaut, Boston SupahFans.

Highlights:

Appearances by Bruins National Anthem singer and fan fave, Rene Rancourt.  He was rocking a USA flag print vest and tuxedo and after he sang the national anthem, pumped up the crowd with his legendary fist pump.

All the people watching.  Hockey fans are a special breed.

photo (14)

Yes, that is a man with a mohawk.

photo (13)

This gentleman’s name: Big Scary Fan Guy.

photo (18)

No party is complete until you bust out the Montreal Canadiens pinata.

photo (11)

Photo ops with hockey players.

photo (17)Lyndon Byers (AKA LB)  and me

Meeting other female hockey fans who appreciated the game as much as I do.

photo (22)

photo (15)
photo (12)

Custom-made Bruins high heels

Using the guise of the blog to take picture of cute guys.

photo (21)

 I’m talking about you, tall drink of water on the right.

photo (19) And you, sir, on the left…

Bruins enforcer Shawn Thornton was also there.  From the moment he walked in the door to the moment he left [like 2 hours later], he posed for countless photos with fans.  It’s got to be exhausting to constantly have to smile and deal with those flashes all up in your eyeballs, but he did it with kindness, a smile, and a witty Irish charm.

Earlier in the day, I submitted a question for Thornton for the Q&A to be hosted by @hackswithhaggs.  And whayda ya know! They picked my question!  And he answered it!

photo (16)

My brilliant question:  If you could play on a line with any NHLer (dead or alive), who would it be & why?

ST22:  Cam Neely & Bob Probert.

[If anyone out there has video of Shawn answering last night’s question, please send it my way!]

This is a man knows which side is bread is butter on.  The people at The Harp were his “people” and by taking the time to come out, say a few words, snap a few picks, shows us that he gets it.

All in all, a great night. I’m super pumped up for tomorrow!

Hockey is BACK!

It’s ALIVE!

Caps Fan Appreciation Night

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Newsies, Pants Loves

If there’s one thing I like more than hockey, it’s food.  Last night the Capitals Fan Appreciation Night had free hockey AND free food.

So of course we were in the front row.

caps rae pamRockin’ the Red with Rae and Pam

For this…

mike

BAM!  No beard.  Hallelujah and also merci.  I’ll give you the hair, Greener, if you save the beard for the playoffs.

mike3

BTdubs, these were not taken with a zoom.  Where’s Harry Potter when you need him to “accidentally” make some glass disappear?

Then we could have taken care of this Caps second biggest grooming issue:

carly3 “You don’t like my flow?”

Other highlights included Nicky getting pissed because you said he looked like a woman in his roster photo:

nicky

But he had the fair Swedish curls going, so you took it all back.

nicky2

Meet our new favorite Capital, Joey Crabb.  It’s a little unfair how much comic relief this team has.

crabb

Ovi told Elliot that his all-time favorite NHL player is Dale Hunter.  Oooh, burn.

ovi3

Don’t get all funny and witty now, Alex.  I still don’t like you.

ovi4

It was nice to see the familiar face of Tom Poti, BU alum and Caps defenseman who hasn’t played in two calendar years due to various injuries.  He may be in the lineup for Saturday’s season opener.

poti

Neuvy and Holtby, our illustrious goaltending duo (Rae loves goalies):

neuvy

At the end of the practice a few players answered fan questions.  Someone asked Matt Hendricks for his favorite Gangnam Style dance move – but Fehr claimed he didn’t know it.  IMPOSSIBLE, I say.

Luckily Troy Brouwer bailed him out:

brouwer

We died.  The crowd died.  Completely overloaded with traffic, Twitter briefly changed it’s “overloaded” screen to a picture to that lasso move instead of the birds lifting a whale. Here’s the video.  TB20 really went for it, loved it long time, and will now be invited to every wedding in DC this year.

Here’s our view, complete with Rae and I screaming:

What do you think, Mike?

mike4

Amen, buddy.  Overall, a great night.  I couldn’t be more excited for hockey.

Foxy Friday: Ryan Malone

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Hot Like Fire, We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

It’s been all Tampa Bay up in here this week so I thought of no better way to round out the week that with a Tampa Bay Lightning Foxy Friday!

This week’s honoree –

Ryan Malone

Malone, Ryan - glamour shot

Here are the stats on Mr. Malone –

  • Born in Pittsburgh on December 1, 1979.  Not only is he perfectly age-appropriate for Pants and I, we’re also pretty sure he loves maple bacon donuts. (BONUS!)
  • a strapping 6’4″ and 219 lbs. This is not a boy. This is a MAN.
  • 1st Pittsburgh area native to play for the Pens
  • He wears #12 in honor of his dad, Greg, who also played in the NHL
  • Career stats: 560 games played. 347 points (168 G, 179 A). A -45 +/- rating (way harsh, man). 600 minutes of shame. 24 game winning goals.

Now onto the real (and way more fun) Foxy Friday stats…

1. Ryan is affectionately know as “Busgy”.  As in Bugsy Malone. You know, that classic gangster movie acted out entirely by children and starring Scott Baio and Jodie Foster.  (Yes, this is a real movie. No, I’m not joking. Watch the entire film here)

2. He’s got this sort of Hey-Dude-Brah-Matthew-McConaughey thing going on and it is pretty damn endearing.  All that missing is a surf board and photos of him shirtless on the beach in Malibu.  Bongo playing optional.

Malone, Ryan - flow and tats

JK Livin’, man.

3. That “Yo-Adrian-Rocky-Balboa  smile.

Tampa Bay Lightning Media Day

Malone, Ryan - bench smile

4. I like a man whose not afraid to show us how much he loves us.

Malone, Ryan - stamkos love cam

5. He’s got sweet dance moves. Watch out, Justin Timberlake.

I’m bringing sexy back. Yeah!

6. He’s got famous Foxy Friday friends.

Geno: “This is how we say I love you in Russia.”

anything more presh than Stamkos’ face? I think not.

7. The tattoos.  Pants doesn’t like ’em, but I love them.  They’re pretty and colorful and completely distracting.

Malone, Ryan - tattoos

8. Although he is supporting the Evil Empire, I’m going to cut him some slack.  But ONLY because he has excellent flow and keeps excellent company. #longhairdontcare

Malone, Ryan - beisbol game

9. Watch out, James Neal, Claude Giroux, & Don Cherry. Ryan is giving you a run for your money. #plaidsuit

Malone, Ryan - the suit

10. He’s got a GGB – a GLORIOUS  ginger beard. Fingers crossed that the Lightning go far in the playoffs so we can see it in all its wonder.

Malone, Ryan - Ginger Beard

11. Sometimes, he rocks a mustache.  And I don’t hate it.  Not even one little bit.  He actually sort of works on him.

So there you have it, folks – Ryan Malone, this week’s Foxy Friday. Another worth addition to the Foxy Friday Fraternity.

He’s fuzzy.

He’s tatted up.

He looks like he’d be a whole lot of fun at your pool party.

And he’ll make you fall in love in with him.

Hey Gurl….

 

Awkward Family Photos

- Posted in Uncategorized

Roster photos are like a walk through a mine field.  Never have so many attractive guys looked like they were kidnapped, stuffed in a trunk and taken to a Walmart Portrait Studio.

Remember that one parent with the plastic comb that “fixed” everyone’s hair on school picture day?  That parent was absent from the Penguins locker room.

crosbyI just woke up and why are there girls here?

genoI just woke up and where is Lazy?

neal I just woke up and yeah, I look pretty good.

Meanwhile, all capable Pens grow light brown facial hair.  That’s an order.

pensVitale, Orpik and even Paul Martin, looking a little like Justin Timberlake, no?

The Blackhawks must have had a big night out before their photos.  This has Walk of Shame written all over it.

hawksVampires are passé now, Seabs.

But not Toews.  He doesn’t like fun.  He wakes up every morning looking like the high school quarterback who never signed your yearbook, just left you dreaming about that time he breathed on you in the hallway outside English.

toews

I don’t know what happened to Viktor Stalberg here, but this picture isn’t even on Tumblr.  It’s been shunned by the church and we don’t talk about it anymore.

stalberg

The Capitals, oh man.  Should I be worried that this half of the team:

caps2Pink edit,but I couldn’t find Brooksy anywhere else!

.. isn’t friends with this half of the team?  Because friends don’t let friends get photographed like this.

caps

Then again, has anyone told Mike Green?  I will submit this whole blog to “What Not to Wear.”  Exhibit One: From last year to this year…

Washington Capitals Headshots

I am 99% weeping and 1% wondering if he has the stigmata.

Tampa Bay obviously has the right idea about photos in general, what with the beaches and the shirtless and the flexing.  But here, Vinny has never looked so French.  He’s the mean food critic from Ratatouille.

bolts

Tom Pyatt has the look I get when trying to remember if he’s Tom or Taylor.

And of course, from the Jonathan Toews School of Upstaging Everyone:

Tampa Bay Lightning Media Day Hey girl, let me help you with that yoga pose.

Now that Ebs & Hall have As up in Edmonton, RNH can’t figure out who he should be listening to.

ebs I’m smiling. Smiling’s cool.

hall Don’t smile. Smiling is for losers.

nuge Mom and Dad, stop fighting!

I can’t deal with the Hurricanes right now.  The Southeast Division is too crowded with people I love for Jordan Staal to be both Jordan Staal AND be in this jersey.  He needs to pick one.

Carolina Hurricanes Headshots

Because there’s already Intern Jeff Skinner.  Look how proud he is of that hair.

Carolina Hurricanes Headshots

It’s not surprising the Rangers run a tight ship.  Like the Yankees before them, their grooming standards are top notch and they don’t let just anybody in looking homeless and hungover.  Looking foxy is very serious in NYC.

nyr

I don’t see new shots of Nash & Richards, so I’m holding out hope we can mess up their hair first.

nyr2

Update: All the Rangers photos. We didn’t get there in time beat slicked-back. (Thanks Beth!)

I’m not going through the Senators roster because frankly, I don’t know them well enough.  I do know that when 95% of your team is smiling for the camera, like they’re actually really excited, that I get excited too.  Overall best in show so far, Ottawa – except that one guy circled below.  Party pooper.

sens

A quick search for San Jose yielded only one photo – but it’s enough.  Just put this down for every name on the roster.  Brent Burns appears to be guest-starring on Sponge Bob Square Pants or Moonshiners.

Cosmopolitan’s Hottest Shark, folks:

burns

More teams as the photos continue to roll in!

Buzz the Tower

- Posted in Glamour Shots, Hot Like Fire

Does the Tampa Bay Lightning team insurance cover mass heart attack when Steven Stamkos Tweets this picture?

lightningMy kind of climate crisis.

Before the close up, you have to sign a waiver saying it’s not my fault if you pass out, hit your head and prance off into an unconscious remake of Top Gun.

Shirtless – check. Beach volleyball – check. Mirrored sunglasses – check.

lightning2Wingmen (Nope, they’re both centers.)

There goes Obamacare, right down the drain, when we all show up at the ER in the same ambulance.  These guys are Canadian or Scandanavian, they already have national healthcare. [Larger version of photo]

Can someone explain why Vinny Lecavalier doesn’t age?  The only clue he’s not a robot is that robots probably tie their shorts up higher.

vinny Old photo, no difference.

If that’s not enough to make you turn up on Gator’s Florida doorstep unannounced, Nate Thompson Tweeted this photo.  The Lightning is now everyone’s favorite team, hands (and dogs) down(ward).

124218733ML_Capitals

An hour ago, this was happening somewhere.  Like Brigadoon.  I’d wait 400 years for it to happen again.

bolts2Guest starring Teddy Purcell’s ankles

Giroux Gets the G, er… C.

- Posted in Like a Boss, Newsies

I’m swamped today, but there’s always time for this!

Claude Giroux named Captain of the Flyers

Of course, you know that already [Press Release].  Personally I would have gone with Briere (shocking).  Can our Flyer fan friends weigh on Claude’s locker room leadership type?  It’s certainly good marketing sense to make your highest profile player captain – see Crosby, Toews, Landeskog.

giroux2

I hope someone pranks him by putting a G on his jersey Saturday.  G for Giroux and C for Crosby… this is going to be The Perfect Game.

Here’s The Ginge with his short hair covered by a hat.  What do we think?

g1

More importantly, what is this girl thinking?

g2

Yup, same thing we are.  She even gets a question in… complete with the half blush/smile that G would earn from anyone with two X chromosomes. [video]

g3

This girl rules.  Smart, hockey oriented, not impervious to masculinity.  We want to be friends with her.  She can keep us informed on Claude and the Flyers while we spend the whole time mumbling curses and boiling bats wings in the office basement.

Update: You guys are quick.  That is Sarah Baicker, who covers the Flyers for Comcast Sportsnet.  You can follow her at @sbaickerCSN.  We suggest you do.

g4

Until Saturday, capitaine…

giroux

Oh, you read all the way to the bottom and thought I might not mention Jordan Eberle!  Mwahahaha.  I got my Ebs shirt in the mail yesterday… and Ebs got the A in Edmonton.  He’ll be the Oilers full-time alternate captain, while Taylor Hall and Nick Schultz share the other one.  [Interview Video]

That’s my boy! #TeamEbs 

oilers

You #TeamHall folks can submit a question here, for Taylor’s “Ask an Oiler” feature tomorrow.  Someone ask for his all-time clumsiest moment, it must be a whopper.

Blue Line Special

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

At the 1:28 mark of this post-practice interview from yesterday, watch how James Neal responds to being reunited on-ice with Malkin.

neal1

It’s like his first day back at school, seeing that girl he had a crush on last year.

neal malkin

In actual hockey news (sigh of relief), it looks like James is going to play the un-point on the Pens power play to start the season.  He’ll be “roving” the ice near Letang’s regular station at the blue line.  [link]

Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, James Neal

Errr, okay.  As much as Neal & Letang next to each other could probably reverse the Earth’s magnetic poles, Nealer’s about the wrist shot.  It’s dazzling.  It’s accurate.  Seeing him just behind the faceoff circle, waiting for the drop pass… it makes me weak in the twine.

neal3

He’s not going to score a lot from the blue line.  The idea seems to be for James to play “everywhere” and feed the puck to Crosby and Malkin (or back to Letang).  It sounds like a dream strategy, unless the guy you’re taking the puck away from is the reigning NHL-leader in PPG (Neal had 18 last season).

neal

Photo Credit: kdkitty127

Alas, this is a problem I want to have.  Embarrassment of riches!  Trust in Disco Dan!  (And pre-season optimism.)  With guys like Crosby and Malkin on the sides, let’s hope some middle lanes open and James gets the puck.  I don’t care who scores ’em.

Wait, I do.  I didn’t fantasy draft Sid or Geno, dammit.

disco dan

I wish we could do a preview of every team for the upcoming season, but there is no time. Also I’ve forgotten where everyone was traded to or signed.  Saturday is going to be like Christmas morning, where I open every broadcast after guessing what’s inside and find a bonus Staal or Nash.

Mikey Monday:Mountain Man

- Posted in Mikey Monday

Do you ever get the feeling Mike Green doesn’t want us to like him?

g11.12 Post-practice video

Only kidding.  He shaved his neck beard to show he cares.  (Clearly he read our Puck Daddy playoff beard coverage.)

g2

It wouldn’t work anyway.  If we liked this Mike Green:

mike2

And this Mike Green:

SONY DSC

Then Cat Stevens here is just another phase.  Look at that smile!

g5

I’m so glad to have him back right now I don’t care what he looks like. (Hahaha, RIGHT.)  Too bad for anyone who does – the Caps took roster photos Saturday so even if Mike goes back to this tomorrow:

mike4pleasepleaseplease

You’ll be looking at the Grizzly Adams beard all season.  Sorry.

Far, far worse than the grooming situation – Mike missed two days of optional practice last week to have Lasik.  That means no more of the shriek heard ’round the Tumblr world over this:

glasses2

Does this signal the end of Emo Green?  Or is a beard & shag the new glasses-and-a-VW Bus combination?

glasses1

UGH.  I’m all for Mike not getting a puck to the head every other game, but let’s not pretend that was due to his eyesight.  In his first practice back, Mike crashed into Neuvy and went ass over tea kettle into the net (as documented on RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com).  Some things never change.

g5I have NO idea what you mean. – 1.13 Post-practice video

Side note: There’s almost real hockey to talk about.  I’m so relieved.

When Will Then Be Now?

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire

Is it January 19th yet?

Soon.

 

Two words:

Hit Me Like A Mack Truck

- Posted in Bearded and Beautiful, Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, Like a Boss, We Love

…if a Mack truck wore a NY Rangers sweater.

Here I was, just minding my own, thinking I was doing all well with the return of hockey.  I was just going to ease right back into it and get my bearings…then BAM…Rick Nash.

from blueshirtsunited.com

from blueshirtsunited.com

Damn you, Rick Nash.  Damn you and your LLBean-boyfriend good looks and luscious, glorious, perfect hockey flow.

My head is spinning.

I need to sit down.

Nash - training camp flow 2

Now, I’ve gone from 1 to a 1000 and need the season to start NOW!

from blueshirtsunited.com

from blueshirtsunited.com

I need my tumblr feed to be filled with photos of this lumberjack.  I need youtube to full of clips of his highlight reel goals.

from blueshirtsunited.com

from blueshirtsunited.com

I respect the Rangers and the team that they’ve assembled and there is no doubt that they will again contend for the Stanley Cup.  They came *thisclose* last year and the addition of Nash with all his skill and dominating potential could prove the final piece of the puzzle.

For any of you who regularly read this blog or follow our twitter know how I feel about this player.  So God help you all if he breaks out in a big way this season.

WUYS will be Rick Nash Central.

from blueshirtsunited.com

from blueshirtsunited.com

 

 

Look at This Face

- Posted in Newsies

Speaking of Foxy Friday… PIGLET IS BACK!

nicky b

More than anything so far, this makes me happy.  Happy to the point of:

piglet

After visiting a specialist in Michigan earlier this week, Backstrom says there is no concussion and he’s 100%.  We say, “Oh yes, you are.”

nicky b2

Watch the whole video, because you’ve missed Nicky so: Backstrom addresses the media – Friday, Jan 11.

Foxy Friday: Love Actually

- Posted in Lockout, Things We Learned on Twitter

On January 6, pretty much every team posted the standard NHL announcement on the end of the lockout.  Doubtless the human beings at the other end of those Twitter accounts were doing backflips and splits like the rest of us, but officially they had to toe the line.

nhl

Here’s what the players said.  These guys who missed the game more than we did, who cannot wait to get back to doing what we love to see them do.  Let this remind everyone why we supported them through the lockout, and be super-extra-glad it’s over.  This week, feelings are foxy.

fox

Starting with James Neal, who knows exactly what to say to me.

lockout neal

I mean, play it.  It’s our song.

lockouet stammer

lockout armstrong

lockout biz

One word from Biz is never enough, of course.

lockout biz2

lockout brust

lockout ference

lockout fisher

lockout giroux

lockout gorges

lockout hallsy

lockout logan

lockout maxp

lockout stalberg

1lockout cammy

1lockout grabner

1lockout moulson

1lockout icarly

Cosmo Ain’t Got Nothin’…

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Glamour Shots, Hot Like Fire, We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

“… to do with my selection.” – Sir Mix-a-Lot, Baby Got Back

JEEZ.  I go away and hockey throws a party like the Project X kids and burns down the whole neighborhood!  First things first – this Cosmopolitan list of the Hottest NHL players.

cosmo

Hahahahaha!  Watching Grey’s Anatomy does not make me a doctor, so let’s not assume one Google search qualifies Cosmo to select the best-looking player from each hockey team.  Some things are best left to those who’ve done their blogging homework.  (According to Cosmo, they asked people to vote.  WHAT PEOPLE?  Calling only Phil Kessel is not “people.”)

Consider your source.  They were busy with the Sex Diet and these hot shorts.

cosmo2

Let’s take a look at their picks:

Washington Capitals/Mike Green – Well they got one right, even if they chose a useless photo of MG52 in which neither hair nor smile were evident.  He’d still win for the Caps, but let’s make it a landslide.

mike

LA Kings/Jeff Carter – He’s a Cosmo kind of guy, don’t ya think?  Between stories on “Crazy Hot Sex” and “I’m Marrying My Gay Best Friend,” he subscribes for sure.  Chuck would choose Dustin Penner, I’d pick Mike Richards (I guess) and Dawn loves Doughty.  Zero votes for Carts.

richie carts

NY Rangers/Brian Boyle – The hottest guy on the Rangers is Henrik.  Followed, in order, by Henrik’s bow tie, Henrik’s skinny suit pants, anything shiny that reflects Henrik’s face, and then MDZ.  It’s a tough competition, Brian.

henrik

Buffalo Sabres/Patrick Kaleta – So many head-butting jokes missed  here.  Tragic kingdom.

kaleta

Philadelphia Flyers/Scott Hartnell – SCOTT HARTNELL!  Over the infuriating, shit-eating grin perfection of Giroux?  Over my foolish crush on the Briere family (they have a Boston Terrier!) and that time Danny had to stand on a box to be interviewed?!  I’ll be upstairs jumping off the roof.

brioux

Ottawa Senators/Marc Methot – Remember what I said about being a doctor? Well being a blogger doesn’t mean I know every player on the Senators. I don’t know this guy. I only know he’s not Erik Karlsson.

karlsson

Montreal Canadiens/Carey Price – If you’re going to make me say out loud that Carey Price is the best looking Hab, there better be some priest-to-sinner confessional confidentiality here.  Brand new Canadien Brandon Prust will fix this problem tout de suite.

carey price

shutter speed 1/640, F-stop 8, lens 32, 400 ISO, filesize 9.8MB, frame 0204,Wednesday July 11, 2012,shutter 209778, 11:59:53 AM

Detroit Red Wings/Henrik Zetterberg – The Beard.  The Swede.  The fact he is our age!  Fine Cosmo, you can have this one too.

zetterberg

Toronto Maple Leafs/Phil Kessel – Imsorrywhat?  Somewhere Joffrey Lupul is shirtless, riding a horse down the beach to bring you a hot fudge sundae asking, “What the hell does a guy have to do around here?”

lupul

Columbus Blue Jackets/Jared Boll – In a world without Rick Nash, Jared Boll’s eyebrows are pretty impressive.  Still I’d rather have an old life-size cardboard cutout of Rick.

boll

NY Islanders/John Tavares – YES.  For every seventh grader who ever had a crush on her cute Earth Science teacher.

tavares

Vancouver Canucks/Ryan Kesler – Cosmo would never miss an underwear photo shoot, so Ry had this vote locked up.  We can’t really argue with the abs.

kesler

Winnipeg Jets/Evander Kane – Sure, if you like guys who call you from Vegas on phones made of money.  We much prefer Zach Bogosian’s overwhelmingly camouflage wardrobe (especially when he’s not wearing it).

bogo

Carolina Hurricanes/Jordan Staal – DAGGER IN MY HEART, but it’s true!  Intern Jeff Skinner is never going to win this, poor kid.  He even tried growing his hair out. Wah waaaaaaaaah.  The Staals are like a cult, or an offensive line, or the strapping inhabitants of some island where I long to be shipwrecked.

staal

Pittsburgh Penguins/Sidney Crosby – In other news, water is wet.  If you like glass-cutting cheekbones, model’s lips and a body like a MAC Truck, Crosby’s my your  guy.  There should be a runner-up category where Neal and Letang wrestle/compare tattoos for second place.

crosby

neal2

Minnesota Wild/Ryan Suter – Just because your contract equals Zach Parise’s doesn’t mean you are equally foxy.  No voting required.

parise

San  Jose Sharks/Brent Burns – Sans beard, Brent is a close shave for Hottest Shark.  Too bad Joe Thornton is Chuck’s high school boyfriend.  When she said “Chuck + Joe 4EVA,” she meant it.

thornton

Boston Bruins/Tyler Seguin – Another Cosmo sure shot, a la Jeff Carter.  If they knew what they were doing, there’d be a cover story entitled, “How To Hookup and Not Get Listed as This.”

seguin

Anaheim Ducks/Bobby Ryan – Cosmo picked him because he played in Sandy relief charity games.  We pick him because he’s funny and Tweets pictures of his cat.  A deadly combination.

bobby ryan

Chicago Blackhawks/Patrick Sharp – From one magazine title to another… both wrong.  He’s perfect, we get it.  But any list without Jonathan Toews is really no list at all.  Jon would ask for a do-over, since he didn’t hear the whistle.

toews

Tampa Bay Lightning/Vincent Lecavalier – Maybe in 2003, the year Vinny and his girlfriend where featured in the SI Swimsuit Issue.  But it’s ten years later and Stamkos is the new sheriff in town.

stammer

Florida Panthers/Scottie Upshall – People love Kris Versteeg but I’m going with Upshall here.  Spontaneous rapping skills not required.  If the Panthers went with this color navy for their uniforms, people would notice Scottie more.

upshall

Nashville Predators/Mike Fisher – He’s so pretty.  Too pretty.  We prefer our guys a little rough around the edges; a little more tall, dark and “I can put this puck though a bank vault.  Stand aside, miss,” like Shea Weber.

weber

Colorado Avalanche/Gabriel Landeskog – Cosmo chose him for his, ahem, “leadership.”  Well he certainly leads the NHL in shirtless selfies posted to Instagram.  (This category is open, should another NHL player like to apply.)  If one world were full of maple bacon donuts sitting on a pile of money, and another full of stale bread held by Gabe, we’d take the bread.  Then invent new ways to burn off those carbs.

gabe

St. Louis Blues/Patrik Berglund – This is a legit choice, if boring.  Chuck would have gone with Alex Pietrangelo.  I would have gone for TJ Oshie’s phone and gotten myself Toews’ number.

alex p

Calgary Flames/Dennis Wideman – NO NO NO!  You need go back like PA’s and wearing PJ’s to Jarome Iginla, a handsome and distinguished older gentleman.  Or be us and pick Alex Tanguay, my long-term committed hockey relationship.  My lobster.

alex1

Phoenix Coyotes/Mike Smith – If Lupul’s on a horse trying to outrun Cartman Kessel for the Leafs’ prize, how would you describe Biznasty’s campaign?  His life is the social media equivalent of a pole dancing class.  It’s dirty, but it works for him. (Sorry Shane Doan.)

biz

NJ Devils/Adam Henrique – Ahhh yes.  The devil in disguise.  Thank God he shows up in photos.

NHL Awards Hockey

Edmonton Oilers/JORDAN EBERLE – Ding ding ding! We have a winner.  Cosmo is #TeamEbs!  Perhaps they are not quite so lazy and poorly educated as I thought.  Plus, Hallsy keeps needing stitches to the head.

ebs1

Dallas Stars/Jaromir Jagr – I had to read this twice.  First – JAGR?!  Second – Wait, the Stars?  Oh yeah, he plays there now.  I know we took their James Neal away, but what about Loui “Crazy Eyes” Eriksson? Brendan Morrow qualifies.  They even have Derek Roy now, so if there’s no height requirement to ride this coaster than we think Jagr ends up sitting alone.

eriksson

By my book, Cosmo scored +/- 50% on this list.  That’s pretty poor considering the joys of window-shopping along this particular glass.  Don’t you have interns who spend all day trolling Tumblr?  You could’ve asked to borrow Jeff Skinner (if you cut his hair before you send him back).

skinner

The season hasn’t even begun and Cosmo’s already set the bar around the .500 level.  No wonder they picked Kessel!  We know that’s not good enough to get you into the playoffs.  Maybe next year they’ll bring their A game… or just leave the surgery to us doctors.

Note from Chuck:

Our list > Cosmo’s list.

Yeah, I said it. We are superior. We may not be the best or most prolific bloggers on the interwebs, but when it comes to stuff like this – don’t get it twisted.

We got it on LOCK!

Forgive and Forget?

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Deep Thoughts, Lockout
I, like I expect many of you are, am a hockey fan conflicted.
I had been desperately wishin’ and hopin’ for an end to the lockout and now that it’s here, that is part of me that feels…weird.
Like my friend Karen said  “It’s like when your teenager runs away from home, and you find her safe but hungry two days later, you’re so happy to see that she’s safe, but then you want to kill her.”
That’s kind of how I feel about you, NHL.
Well, without the killing.
Because killing is bad.
My rage quickly dissipates and I so desperately want to run back into hockey’s open, waiting, and exceptional Channing Tatum-arms and forgive it for everything its put me though these last few months.
But the other part of me – the jilted, slightly bitter girlfriend part – is wary.  I am suspicious of you and your intentions.
My mind is still confused by the fact that this lockout even had to happen at all.
I want to take you back, Hockey.  Really,  I do.  My life has been incomplete without you.
But you have to understand how hard this is for me.
I need an apology and I think I, and all the hockey fans deserve some sort of apology.  We need a gesture of good faith to let us know that you still love us and need us and want us in your life.
Because we need you.
Until that time when I get such an apology, I will do my best to work past my feelings of abandonment and try by best to forgive.
And I’ll use these quotes as inspiration…

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”― John F. Kennedy

“When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines upon you.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

“Three months ago, if you asked me, I would have told you that if you really loved someone, you’d let them go. But now I look at you, and I dreamed about Maggie, and I see that I’ve been wrong. If you really love someone, Allie, I think you have to take them back.”

“A broken friendship that is mended through forgiveness can be even stronger than it once was.”

“Jane, I never meant to wound you thus…Will you ever forgive me?” Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER!

- Posted in Uncategorized

There is only one way to describe how I feel right now.  I’m on my way to NYC for a three day vacation and let me tell you, the NHL Store better have Eberle shirts!  I am coming for you!

I love you guys.  I love Sid & Tazer, Mikey & Nicky, I even love Ovechkin right now.  I love Alex Semin and Scott Hartnell and I don’t know who else.  Carey Price, probably.  I love Mike Milbury and hell, I even love Pierre Maguire today.  Maybe in NYC I’ll see Brad Richards and I swear I’ll hug him and won’t even mention that playoff goal with 6.6 seconds left!!

Here’s the story.  For a bunch of jerks who walked away from the table as often as I want to eat a Snickers, it’s nice to know they were working at 4:40 AM.

PS: I’m still mad the League in general, and I will try to be a fan who stands up for herself and others.  Starting tomorrow.  Right now I’m crying and wondering if I can just put my Crosby jersey on over my winter coat for this whole week.

HAPPY F&*$ING MONDAY, EVERYONE!

Foxy Friday: Rump Shaker

- Posted in Foxy Friday

Welcome to the Land of Nothing Left to Talk About, where I dredge the internet for blog topics.  Today, I got a kick out of these:

From GongshowGear.com

First of all, who researches these pants?  Do they go around measuring hockey players?  Or better yet, is there a back room and one of those tailor pedestals involved?  Then we could get a squat-test and time how long it takes to get them off… like Field Day at camp, it’s Field Day with Pants.  (See what I did there?)

All you need are some boots with the furrrrrrrr.

A liiiiiiiiiiiiiitle highher…

Secondly, I work for free.  You should see the pillow I sewed in 7th grade Home Ec class!  I’m resourceful too – in case I need to tie two tape measures together to get all the way around some of these boys.

Squats, squats, squats, squats, squats, squats…

“Hockey butt” is, of course, a real thing.  In ski racing we call is “Alpine Ass.”  With the popularity of backsides these days, perhaps I should have kept that up.  The topic was recently featured on ESPN.com and has a Facebook page.  Crosby’s custom jeans are legend.  It perhaps surprises no one that Gingergoux’s backside has it’s own Tumblr.

Yeah, we get it.

Don’t forget the less famous guys who are dragging some serious wagons.  In .gif form, you really have to wonder how iCarly even got these shorts on.

GAH, if only we could pause it! I can.

The phenomenon starts early.  I can guarantee RNH did not buy these shorts in Okalahoma City.

My favorite rap lyric of all time is, “Is that your ass, or’s your mama half reindeer?”  from ‘Shake Ya Tailfeather’ by Nelly.  It’s been on my running mix since 2007.  Today I really hope my work checks my internet search history.  That’ll be a fun meeting.

The best part of these Gongshow pants is the inside.  (Isn’t it always?)  Check out the waistband:

But what does the fly say?!  That’s your mission.  First person to send me a photo of the first word gets a prize.  Bonus points if it’s on a guy when you take it.

Extra bonus points if he can’t get them off.

Anything You Can Do…

- Posted in Uncategorized

On Thursday, 12/27 Taylor Hall scored a hat trick.  Exciting, right?

 

Almost as exciting as Ebs’ NYE hat trick – 3 goals in 3 minutes! 

 

Showoff. [Post-Game Interview] #TeamEbs

Not to be outdone, Molly Ringwald leads the entire World Junior tournament with 11 points in 4 games.  Team Canada will face Team USA in the semi-final match tomorrow.  USA beat the Czechs 7-0 this morning, so RNH better bring it.

(He had 1 goal in Canada’s 2-1 win over USA last week.)

 

Like RNH, you could wake up to this message tomorrow morning.  Only it will be 4 AM here (Eastern)!  The game is on NHL Network.

(Hands up if you programmed this into your alarm clock already, followed by Billy Idol’s “Rock the Cradle of Love.”)

 

Sorry hockey, there’s no way I’d get out of bed for anyone at that hour.

Oh wait….

 

“SloVAKians.”  Hahaha.

(There are also Subban and Ovi wake-up calls.  Ovi’s new fiancee probably hears that every day!  The girls are patiently awaiting a Jonathan Toews wake-up call, if such a thing exists.  It would be far more effective for getting someone INTO bed, really.)