It's Movember … and Props to the Washington Caps!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness, We Love, Well OBVIOUSLY.

In case you haven’t heard, the NHL is getting behind ‘Movember’, a movement established to create additional awareness for men’s health – especially prostate cancer.  Their tagline is quite catchy : “Grow that Mo and SAVE A BRO!” So when you see your favorite player a little more hairy then usual, now you know why!

The current leader board across the NHL has four Washington Caps in the top five spots, raising money for the cause: John Erskine, John Carlson, Karl Alzner and Matt Hendricks – you go my boys!

George Parros of the Anaheim Ducks  SHAVED his famous mustache in support of this event!

Mr. Cherrie has also decided to support this cause by growing his own ‘Mo’ much to my dismay but I guess it’s for a good cause. Stay tuned for that  photo at that end of the month!

Marketing Hockey: Episode 1

- Posted in I'm Always Right, Newsies

Oh snap.  We are so ahead of the game!  Monday has come and gone, and today guess who’s featured on the NHL.com homepage with a video highlight and a story?  WUYS poster boy Mike Green.  I’ll keep this short, since Dawn has to listen to me all day long.

Mike launched a Facebook fan site.  I squeed.  This is the one and only time I will ever find sloppy grammar adorable!  He posted this video in which he’s half-asleep.  At any moment, Bettman is going to appear behind him in a ski mask and make him read a manifesto condemning hits to the head and the sale of the Coyotes.

The Real World: DC

I’m kidding!  I think this is great.  The NHL GMs meet today to discuss lots of things, including a social media policy (or lack thereof) for players on Twitter and Facebook.  I really hope they don’t decide to start policing this stuff – it’s absolutely fantastic for the fans.  Some of the content is off-color, but we let other celebrities talk, get political, all that.  If BizNasty wants to post a picture of himself giving a homeless guy a fiver, then rock on!  And (grimace) the Capitals have the best social media presence of any team in the League.

So Mike.  Sure we could get him to look at the camera and and take the ‘ out of fan’s, but who cares?  Some people think Mike is dumb – I disagree.  He’s smart enough to be marketing himself instead of letting (hoping/waiting for?) the League to do it for him. They only see Crosby and Ovechkin.  Mike’s doing a national (American!!) ad campaign for GEICO while other guys are hawking pool supplies and local auto dealerships (nothing wrong with it, Talbot, just making a point).  Green is doing something right and I’m pretty sure he’s doing with a lot less help.

My inner publicist loves this.  I wish more of the players (or their media departments) would make a go of something similar.  How much fun would it be for the fans to see more personal interaction with the players? The NHL ranks 7th in American sports attendance numbers (as of 1/10) but is actually 5th according to a recent Harris Poll.  That’s just above the NBA and far higher than golf or tennis (source).  We are getting there!  Now get out there and work it.  (Or hire me and Dawn to work it for you.)

John Travolta and Trannies …God Loves Canada!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Opps.

What’s that you say? What do those things have to do with hockey? If you’re Theo Fleury and Todd Warriner you get dressed up as John Travolta in tight white pants and hot purple sparkles and skate to “Saturday Night Fever” and die a slow sad death. If you’re Todd, you cross dress you’re way almost out of the competition skating to “Brick House” if Theo hadn’t almost dropped his partner on her head!

Not hot.

This week’s theme was “From screen to stage” … ahhh. It was more like theme songs from Disaster Movies. I also keep waiting for Kurt Browning and Ron Maclean to start making out at the beginning of each program. They stare into each others eyes so deeply it’s startling. It would also be highly entertaining. More so than some of the skating!

But on to what is REALLY important – How did Val skate? AWESOME – what else would you expect? He pulled another hat trick this week scoring two sixes from the judges! He skated to “From Russia with Love”. I’ve provided the video below because really, words simply don’t do his performance justice. ICE ICE BABY!

Tonight, tonight…

- Posted in Newsies

So… one whole game last night, eh?  I still managed 9.5 points for my fantasy team because Zetterberg is a machine.  Since there’s nothing to talk about, how about a preview of tonight’s games?

Capitals @ Rangers – How much does Mike Green really love us?  Enough to get his 5th goal in 5 games AND punch Sean Avery in the face? If that happens, we’re changing the name of this blog to ‘What’s Up, Mike Green?’  Dawn says something about Ovechkin having 10 points in 6 games but I can’t hear her over the sound of these pants:

I shall call him Patches.

Flames @ Avalanche – Alex Tanguay and I care that he’s playing in Colorado, no one else does.  The Avs will have two rookie defensemen from BU on the ice – Kevin Shattenkirk and Colby Cohen.

Oilers @ Hurricanes – Remember when these two played to 7 games for the Cup in ‘o6?  I had been living on the beach in Thailand for 5 months and was like, “Who the hell are the Hurricanes?”  Gratuitous video of EStaaaaaaaaaaaal talking about his butt.

We're all thinking about it.

Maple Leafs @ Tampa Bay – Game canceled in favor of field trip to the Yuengling brewery and nearby Busch Gardens theme park.  Way more fun.  Steven Stamkos gets to drive the safari truck because he’s got the required 2.75 million goals.

Canucks @ Canadiens – Vancouver’s won 6 in a row and we hate the Habs.  We’d only watch this game if Justin Bieber repeated his World Series performance during every TV timeout.  Maybe not even then.

Actual size.

Thrashers @ Senators – Why no good Carrie Underwood sightings yet?  She can sing at the Super Bowl, but maybe she doesn’t know the words to the Canadien anthem?

Ducks @ Sharks – Anaheim is especially embarrassed to the the Ducks in a match up like this.  Thornton serves the 2nd game of his supsension for Thursday’s hit to STL’s David Perron.  You make the call – clean hit? Is it Thornton’s fault he’s 4″ taller?

Mikey Monday: 3 Goal Edition

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves

The Mondays cannot come fast enough for Mike Green.  He absolutely killed it this week! The season is one month old and the Capitals are atop their division standings today.

Last night, Mike dusted off his other nickname (we prefer Fidget) and scored the game-winning, overtime power play goal to give the Capitals a 3-2 win over Philly.  GAME OVER. [Video]

The End.

He was all smiles talking to the media after… and I’m beginning to think his hair does this on it’s own.  He certainly hasn’t showered yet.  All I know is they would never let me stand this close to him when he’s all sweaty.  Check out the shadow on the wall behind him.

dark side?

He also scored on Friday night vs. Boston and last Wed night vs. Toronto.  These are not garbage goals – they are gorgeous, patient goals with miles of open ice and great position. I don’t want the Capitals to win, but Mike can score ace goals all day long.

Love me, love me, say that you...

You can watch tons of video of Mike almost smiling and being incredibly Canadian. [Friday video, Wednesday video].  There are even some Ovi interviews in there for Dawn.  But I’d rather look at this, which gives me the stupid giggles for no reason.

Captain Capital

The Kid Kicks Your Ass

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

Sidney Crosby had a fight last night.  Sidney Crosby won a fight last night. I am still recovering from the heart palpitations.

The game between Pittsburgh and Dallas got out of reach pretty quickly, with the Stars up 4-1 in the 2nd.  Things took a turn for the ugly when Brendan Morrow picked a fight with Kris Letang.  Tanger has been out with an injured hand, so way to fight a guy who can’t defend himself! [Insert expletive-filled grumbling here.]  We were all looking to Rupp, Asham or Engelland to stick up for the Pens.  Well Crosby beat them to the punch, literally.

There’s just a faceoff, then a fight.  Sidney Crosby, I adore you. You may be the squeaky-clean face of the NHL but you are also the captain of your team.  Way to cowboy up when you were needed.  Matt Niskanen laughed that he’d someday tell the story to his kids: “That I got beat up by Sidney Crosby? I suppose not too many guys are in that club.”

The Kris Letang fight is harder to watch, since he’s trying to hold on instead of punch. But he gets an A+ for hockey hair and for being so fired up!  No FCC delay on what he’s saying to Morrow as he goes off the ice.  Sid and Tanger in the penalty box – I would jump in.  Right over the glass like a gazelle (or thatguy who fell in with Tie Domi).

I’m seeing the Pens tomorrow night in Anaheim!  My friend Michael (also a BU alum) is coming with me for his first-ever hockey game.  Hope he’s ready for me.

Best Picture Nominee: GOON

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Movies We Love
If I was still working in the feature film industry, I would have TOTALLY greenlit this movie.  No hesitation.  No second guessing.
GOON
“Seann William Scott stars as Doug, a small town bouncer who, after physically defending his best friend (Jay Baruchel) at a hockey game, is recruited to play the enforcer for a minor league team, despite initial misgivings.”

SWS, channeling his inner goon...

The film is described as “A really violent “Happy Gilmore,” with a little “Die Hard” and “The Last Boy Scout” thrown in for good measure.”  The flick will have a R-rating, which gurantees hi-larious hockey hijinks and appropriate locker room shenanigans.  Which we here at WUYS love more than a fat kid loves cake.

“What’s Up, Ya Sieve” goes live on the air!
Personally, I would have given it a $100 million dollar budget and cast Ryan Reynolds and Joshua Jackson in the lead roles.
But that is just me…

Free ticket – Pens @ Ducks

- Posted in Randomness

I need a date for the Penguins game in Anaheim on Friday, 11/5 – that’s this week! Extra ticket, bottom bowl: section 202 and I’ll even give someone a ride from LA.  Don’t let the Pens be sad because I have to sit with Ducks fans!  Okay, Ducks fans are cool.  But who is going to listen to me squee?

I could sit with Jordan...

That’s right, free hockey!  Free Penguins!  You know you want to make Sidney look like this instead:

Pants is here! She's HERE!

BOTB: All JR All The Time

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness

Canada should just rename this “The Jeremy Roenick Show” because he is the only reason to watch. While it was Halloween, Jeremy showed up as a ‘vampire/frankenstein’ which really looked like he was in drag which really looked like just another excuse for him to wear women’s underwear and grinned like he had a secret that we all really knew anyway but were just humoring him. Of course the usual jokes ensued about it being JR’s normal face etc. ha ha ha – NOT.

Just another day for JR!

Curtis Joseph was the guest judge. Wait for it … yes, another sad attempt for Halloween humor from our friends up north – Cujo – get it, Stephen King – Cujo – Guest Judge – Halloween – Scary – Get it? Am I done? No, I wish I was because we should have turned this into a drinking contest for every time they mentioned this and JR’s face in this hour program – Now THAT would have been fun! Mr. Cherrie and I do that when we watch Capital Games and they mention the Hershey Bears.

Yes, you may have noticed I haven’t even mentioned any of the skating programs, that’s because they all pretty much sucked, and not in the cool, vampire, sexy – I heart Robert Pattinson – I want him to bite me – kind of way. They sucked in the – that is why they were voted off and should no longer be participating – I want to stab myself multiple times to make the pain of watching this bearable – I wish I was watching anything else – even that sucky – Vampires Suck- movie kind of way.

So I will stake this post and show more mercy than I received having to wade through this nightmare and tell you that the worst possible out come happened: Patrice – I have absolutely no personality – and his skating skank Shae Lynn who were voted off last week – were re-instated and will be back to terrorize BOTB next week. *SIGH* Which was truly the most terrifying thing that happened.

Mikey Monday: Homecoming

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Newsies, Pants Loves

This week’s edition of Mikey Monday practically wrote itself!

Like a Post-It Note on the bathroom mirror, the Caps dumped the Flames on Saturday night.  Hard.  Iginla will be eating Krispy Kremes and cutting Ovi out of photos for at least a week.  Washington scored 6 goals in the 2nd period and won 7-2.  Mike got his first goal of the season and notched 2 assists (in his hometown).  He was all happy post-game, like a smiley porcupine.  (Video here.  Fidget Activity Level: 8 )

Hometown Hero

It had been rough going for the Caps, especially on the power play (no goals in 5 games).  All at once, the entire team broke out.  Ovi scored 2 power play goals in 12 seconds, nearly giving Dawn carpal tunnel as she tried to  text me real-time updates.  Semin and Backstrom each also had a goal + 2 assists.  David Steckel scored on a penalty shot.

Mike’s been falling down a lot lately (twice in this game he “lost an edge” – that’s what I call it when I spaz out too) and got some help Saturday –  Semin hauled Green to the ice celebration, then Ovechkin did it too.  They had a lot to be happy about.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay.

There’s a really sweet article on Mike and his family in the Calgary Herald.  (Sidebar: He went to John G. Diefenbaker high school.  Please tell me you’ve seen the TV show ‘Due South” about the Mountie with the dog named Diefenbaker.  File under: Things only Pants finds funny.)

 

I should remind myself everyone that I don’t like the Capitals.  Their high-powered offense is bad news for my Penguins.  But I picked up Nuevirth for my fantasy team and I can’t resist games that make Fidget do this:

Smiley face.

What’s in a Name?

- Posted in Randomness, We Love

Currently, the NHL has players from over 20 different countries and with all that diversity, you are bound to get some pretty awesome hockey names.  We here at WUYS truly appreciated the weird and wonderful, so we thought we’d share some of our favorite NHL players names with you.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE?

Chuck loves –

  • Nino Niederreiter – first time I heard them announce it on TV, thought they were saying “Nino Neenerniner” and from there, I was hooked.  Plus it is way fun to say!  NINO NEENERNINER!
  • Antero Niittymäki – Pants likes this one too.  Sounds like sushi.  Looks like Hello Kitty character. AND it has an umlat!  Umlats are cool.
  • Haakan Loob – need we say more?
  • Guillaume Latendresse – sound like a fancy Napoleonic super spy…or a character in “Les Miserables”
  • Zarley Zalapski – Because who doesn’t love some alliteration?
  • Dino Ciccarelli – that’s not a hockey player.  That is the head of a major Mafioso crime family
  • Darren Puppa – you said “poopa”. Hehehe.
  • Mats André Zuccarello Aasen – just because…

We had to go with the 9pt font...

Pants loves –

  • Johnny Oduya – “Oh, do ya?”  Plus, he’s Swedish and Kenyan.  Huh?
  • Ryan Shannon – So she can be known as Shannon-squared.  Don’t know if Mr. Pants would be so thrilled about this.

Dawncherrie loves –

  • Miroslav Satan – Uh, his last name is SATAN!  Totally demonic
  • Peter Sidorkiewicz – just because it is really long
  • Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond – ditto.  Can that even fit on the back of a sweater?
  • Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers – double ditto

Chocolate Iced loves –

  • Mats Sundin – uber Nordic
  • Adam Foote

Honorable mentions to:

  • Oggie Oglethorpe (from the quintessential hockey movie “Slapshot”)
  • Jeff Beukeboom
  • Bob Beers

Squats are the New Black

- Posted in Pants Loves, Toews does Squats

I don’t want to steal anyone’s thunder on Foxy Friday, but Jonathan Toews does.  We asked him to give someone else a minute, but Jon just smiled and did another set of squats.  How are we supposed to compete with that?  Squats are JT’s secret fangirl-destruction device, so we’re creating a category for them here.  Let’s hope we get to use this one a LOT.

Dawn and I were talking yesterday about these photos.  You can get copies for your office and home in the November issue of Men’s Health.

Pants: OMG. O.M.G.

Dawn: He kinda has a fro in this picture.

Pants: You were looking at his hair?!

You can read the whole article here.  It features various athletes, their training regimens and the question “Are You Fit?”  If you’re British and use ‘fit’ to mean ‘foxy,’ then Tazer gets a double yes.

Toews prepares for this demolition derby with full-body exercises that challenge his balance and focus on strength (deadlifts and pushups), explosiveness (box jumps and skater hops), and endurance (lunges and squats). “My training won’t necessarily make me look more muscular,” he says, “but it means I can control my body better than anyone else on the ice. In the end that’s what matters.”

I would like to applaud the universe for giving us this in the same month that Ovi is featured in GQ, coming off like the greasy villain in a Bond movie.  Stay classy, Chicago. Completing the serendipity of a multi-post day for the Hawks, I’m wearing this at work:

Foxy Friday: Patrick Sharp

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Wait, I picked a Blackhawk last time!  And I’m wearing a Toews shirt today.  But some choices are just… WELL OBVIOUSLY.  There are several definitions of “foxy” around here, and one person fits them all:

This guy!

Patrick Sharp has scored 8 goals in his last 7 games and is tied for the NHL lead in goals with 9.  He’s picking up slack as Toews and Kane get off to slow starts on the scoreboard (and killing it for my fantasy team!).  And now Marion Hossa (hiss… sorry) is out for 2 weeks, it’s all coming back to Sharpie.

Does a 40-pound bag cost extra?

Of course, Sharp won the Cup with the Hawks last season.  Here’s a video of him picking up Lord Stanley at the airport (from baggage claim?!).  Let me tell you: if I were waiting for my luggage, half-asleep in yoga pants from a redeye, and Patrick Sharp randomly lifted the Stanley Cup in Terminal 1… there is no airport security in the world that could stop me.

Hugs are foxy too.

Further proof with Winnipeg is real, Patrick Sharp was born there.  Between him and Toews, the Hawks should be paying Winnipeg in cash on a yearly basis.  Sharpie grew up in that other ridiculous hockey hometown, Thunder Bay, Ontario.  Seriously, why am I not Canadian?! I’m so mad at my parents right now.

Every girl's crazy 'bout a...

Patrick was married over the summer (lucky lady!) and has a ridiculously cute hound dog named Shooter.  He also has (with apparently zero effort) the hair that Mike Green is really after:

Wash and go.

Sharp was nominated by Victoria’s Secret for the title of Chicago’s Sexiest Athlete last year, but lost to some basketball player we don’t care about.  Hopefully Foxy Friday is some small consolation.  Keep this up, Sharpie, and we think you’ll get it FTW this year.

Winter Classic Wake-Up Call

- Posted in Randomness

The Penguins unveiled their Winter Classic jerseys today.  If you live out West, the game is on at 10 AM.  That’s technically still New Year’s Eve in my book, but frankly what a way to ring it in!  Crosby, Staal, Letang, Talbot, Flower (hopefully) and throw in some Mike Green… I can wake up for that. In a blatant attempt to remind everyone else why they should be awake early on January 1, they trotted out JStaal.  It totally worked.

Good morning, sunshine.

Geno donned the full gear after practice and showed off his outfit.  And the nifty Jumbotron-lowered-to-the-ice trick.  Really though, if you want to model something, maybe don’t be a Malkin standing next to a Staal.  I’m just saying.  (Love you, Geno.)

How low can you go?

And because they want you to want this for Christmas, they unveiled the Crosby jersey.  Inside the collar is printed “Winter Classic January 1st 2011.”    I rather like these jerseys, with the penguin looking like a platypus in a scarf.  The numbers are ugly though.

Dear Santa, I would like...

So you’re thinking that New Years’ morning will be really cold, and getting out of bed so hard when you’ve only put down the champagne three hours before?  You’re still wearing those “2011” shaped paper glasses (not sure how that will work) and it’s hard to see the puck through all the glitter and tinsel?  With a hangover, can you look at the combination of yellow and baby blue?

I enter this into evidence: Exhibit A.  Wake Up.  It’s worth it, if only because it’s the closest you’ll ever come to waking up next to this:

On second thought, maybe don't get out of bed...

Battle of Alberta: Round 1

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

The Calgary Flames visited the Edmonton Oilers last night.  Of course they hate each other, so it’s like putting your ex-boyfriend in a room with your older brother and letting them duke it out.  The game was both a total mess and really fun to watch. Highlight of the Game: Alex Tanguay’s game-winning shootout goal! LOBSTER!  I thought a photo recap would be fun.

It was Mikka Kipprusoff’s 34th birthday and the Flames were up 4-1 in the second period.  There was a lot of this:

FREE HUGS!

And a lot of this, just because.  6 fighting majors were doled out during the game, along with an instigator penalty and 2 roughing minors.

Your momma’s so fat…

Then Kipper started thinking about the sieve-shaped birthday cake Dawn was baking for him and gave up 3 goals in 10 minutes, resulting in a lot of this:

Lobster on the right, paying the price.

So we went to overtime, then to a shootout.  And this happened:

High score? What does that mean? Did I break it?

Ultimately the end result was:

Iginla's bet is paying off.

Both goaltenders were a mess – from standing on their hands to dropping their pants on alternating shifts.  There was a fight every 5 minutes, and twice they had to stop going to commercial because a dust-up broke out after the whistle.  One fight the cameraman couldn’t find till it was almost over.

The moral of the story is Alex Tanguay is playing great and I still don’t have him back on my fantasy team.  But I do believe in him, especially if he keeps making rink-wide slot passes like he did for Bouwmeester’s goal last night.  PS: Excellent last name. Almost as many useless letters as Antero Niittymaki.

Photos: Calgary Sun

Best Commercial Ever?

- Posted in Pants Loves

Remember when I got all worked up about Jonathan Toews doing squats for the new NHL ad campaign?  Well it gets better.  JT sleeping on the bus.  This is so cute it makes my ovaries hurt.

Thank you to snowsoldier99 who actually videotaped her TV while it was playing this.  That’s the kind of dedication we like to see around here.

Just when I think things are looking good…

- Posted in Boych Meets World, Chuck Loves

Bruins defenseman Johnny Boychuk up and breaks his forearm. Or should I say, more specifically that Brandon Dubinsky of the New York Rangers breaks Johnny’s forearm.

Anyone knows that hockey players are notorious for taking a puck to the face, maybe losing a few teeth, getting stitched up and getting back on the ice without missing a shift and kudos to Johnny for trying to stick it out for the rest of the game.  But it turns out that having your ulna cracked in two sort of messes with your game, especially that whole gripping-the-stick-and-shooting-the-puck thing.

Today at practice, Johnny had the chance to talk to the press.  Watch this video.  Trust me.  It’s adorable.

So there are so many things I LOVE about this video – his beanie, the scruff, the surprising adorable Edmontonian accent.  Then of course, there are those unruly eyebrows that frame his baby blues and the fact that he wants to get a green cast (why not a black and yellow one, Johnny?) But what makes this video so endearing is that you can tell that he’s seriously disappointed that he can’t play.

Like totes seriously.  Sure, he might be joking and trying to play it cool on the outside but you know that on the inside, he is a sad panda bear.  He’s like a kid who finally built up the courage to ask the prettiest girl in his junior high to dance, but she said no, so he’s trying to play it all cool, when all he wants to do is run into the bathroom and cry.

So for the next four weeks, Johnny will be on the couch, probably eating Totino’s pizza rolls, watching re-runs of “Dirty Jobs.”  Let’s just hope and pray that he doesn’t spend it growing one of these…

 

Creepiest. Stache. Ever.

 

BOTB: JR's TMI's

- Posted in Randomness

I was dreading this week’s country music theme but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It wasn’t the music but JR that actually saved this week by being more amusing than anything I could actually mock. I’m warning you that watching Kelly Chase skate could cause seizers or decrease any sexual desire. I have included ValKat’s skate to try and counter-balance Canada’s new form of subliminal birth-control.

It started though with Ron Maclean and Kurt Browning about to make out to some Canadian country song. It set the tone for a homo-erotic evening.

Then it was all JR and his TMI’s. He started by making Brokeback Mountain references to Kelly Chase after Kelly gave another sad, pathetic performance in vinyl, black shiny chaps. There were no fists pumps this week – thank god- but there were plenty of eye popping off-beat hip thrusts that evidently got JR’s blood racing enough to want to take him out back and do him up right.

After that JR went on to rave about Jamie’s (female) outfit and then ask if he could have it when she as done with it. When Sandra, one of the other judges asked why, JR shrugged and said he might want to wear it. When you shock the other panel judge, Scott Hamilton, and leave even him speechless, then I think you’ve done your job of entertaining everyone unless JR was still drunk from his induction into the US Hockey Hall of Fame. Which begs to ask, was he even a bit jealous that he is sitting on a panel of a Canadian show and not inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto? Just asking.

On to Theo who skated to his own song this week. It wasn’t too bad and he actually did an axel! Go Theo! The homo-erotic moment goes to Scott who gushed endlessly to Theo about being his biggest fan for forever and it was actually touching. Theo needs the support so props to Theo and Scott – Man love all around.

Lastly, my man Val NAILED IT this week getting the highest score – what else would you expect for the Russian Hottie? Ice Ice Baby!

It wasn’t Kelly who went home – a shame – but Patrice did which is also good because he doesn’t DO anything but let his partner make him look good and FINALLY he couldn’t hide under her skimpy skirt anymore. I have no idea how she hid a 6 foot something Frenchman for so long but not anymore. Au revoir.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: BOTB will be giving the four losers a second chance on Halloween to get back on the show thus giving the four remaining winners a week off. Oh yay! (note sarcasm) Does anyone else see the irony that this is Canada’s HALLOWEEN Special? Or is it just me?

Mikey Monday: Special Teams

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Mikey Monday, Pants Loves, Randomness

For this installment of Mikey Monday, I’m going to give making fun of Mike Green’s spending habits a rest.  Instead, I bring you a recap of the text conversation between myself and Dawn on Saturday during the Capitals/Thrashers game (video).  There were about 75 texts over 3 hours.  Mike was back after missing 3 games with an “undisclosed upper body injury” and he played only on the power play.  We here at WUYS like to think of ourselves as Mike’s own Special Team.  The highlights:

taking the ice

4:00 PM – Pants: MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Commentators agree, with only 3 exclamation points.  Everyone v excited.  Pants claps.)

4:01 PM – Dawn: Thank God, the Caps are crap without him.

4:04 PM – Both: Mike-Cam!  (Camera shows MG suiting up, pre-game skate with no helmet.  Gratuitous MG footage loved by all.)

4:05 PM -Pants: Cor.  I want to be the Mike-Camerawoman.

Look, I'm fine!

4:20 PM – Dawn: Mike looks bored.  (More footage, commentators invent things to talk about re: MG.  Show him skating during TV timeouts. MG confirmed sleeping on bench.)

4:30 PM – Pants: FINALLY.  (Caps on power play, MG takes ice for first time.  Commentators pee themselves. MG stops pouting.)

4:35 PM – Nothing happens for ages.

5:15 PM – Dawn: Caps power play!  (Pants caught cheating with Jonathan Toews, changes back to Caps game.  MG looks stir-crazy.)

5:17 PM – Pants: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!  (MG puts puck in net off skate.  Big hugs.  Pants and Dawn both scream.)

... and I'm back in the game!

5:33 PM – Dawn: Kicking?  (We don’t know the rule about kicking it into another player.  We hope it’s a goal.)

5:34 PM – Pants: Mike-cam is back. (MG is watching replay overhead, sitting so far to end of bench he is behind the glass like a backup goalie.)

5:34 PM – Dawn: He looks cute talking to himself on the bench. (MG definitely talking to himself, saying he looks hot on the Jumbotron.  Wait, that was Pants.)

So far from Brooks he could cry.

5:35 PM – Both: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  Okay, good call.  (Goal waved off.  We knew it wouldn’t fly.)

5:37 PM – Nothing happens for ages.

5:52 PM – Dawn: Intermission interview! (Pants has traitorously switched to Hawks game and is drying her hair.  Throws dryer, leaps over couch, hits remote… misses interview.  Back to Hawks game… misses goal.)

5:54 PM – Pants: S*^$F&$*.  Missed it.  How was his hair?

5:55 PM – Dawn: Quick interview.  Looked really hot.

5:55 PM – Pants: Thank God for Center Ice replays and Tivo. (Confirmed later, Dawn was right.)

6:10 PM – Dawn: Hat trick for Semin!  I knew it!  Still there?

6:11 PM – Pants: On a date with Crosby.

Extreme close up. Never noticed SC's overbite before. Awkward video link below.

6:12 PM – Dawn: Slut.  Mike hasn’t played in hours and you just leave?

6:25 PM – Dawn: Overtime!

6:35 PM – Dawn: Caps win, thank God.

6:35 PM – Pants: Snoooooooooooore.

[Pre-game interview invades Sid’s dance space: link.]

Ovi, Overexposed

- Posted in Well OBVIOUSLY.

I can hardly bring myself to paraphrase the Alex Ovechkin feature in November’s GQ Magazine.  Was I expecting something else?  No way in hell.  Was I hoping for a little more, maybe for Dawn’s sake?  I think I was.  Or at least because he stands really close to Mike Green and I’m afraid Ovi is contagious.  This makes me want to put on my onesie pajamas (complete with attached feet), curl up with Sidney Crosby and watch Gilmore Girls reruns while we play Uno and name our goldfish.

I'll say never. And say it again.

Highlight reel – At the end of the article, Ovi brings two women he picked up at a club to a skating rink:

They’re dressed like snow bunnies and have clearly had at least some skating classes between them. A stray thought visits me that Ovie has brought one of them to keep me company, but before I can figure out which one, it becomes rather obvious he’s planning to keep both…[He] takes turns making out with Lera while Olesya documents the proceedings and making out with Olesya while Lera does the documenting. While the calves and the lamb cavort, I hug the boards for an hour and a half. The girls giggle. The whole tableau is a high school nightmare come to life. (Author: Michael Idov)

And this – “Each time he sees a pretty girl walking by, Ovechkin shouts “BOOM!” at the top of his lungs.” But it’s not an American girl, because he just called us all fat and lazy.

First order of business - no more feeding the women.

Pretty much the whole article is available at Russian Machine Never Breaks.

Remember back in the summer when Max Talbot called Ovi a douche?  It was really nice of Ovi to back up Max’s story (see disclaimer below).  He scores points and excites the crowd – I will not argue that Ovi is extremely talented and great for the game of hockey. The NHL desperately needs guys with personality, and I am the first to laugh at BizNasty’s Twitter remarks about making “panty soup” and getting lap dances.  Truth be told, this is nothing compared to what a lot of NBA and NFL guys do… but I don’t like them either.  Somehow having our guys seem harmless and likable off the ice (does not apply to Sean Avery) makes it okay that they beat the crap out of each other on the ice.  The NHL gets so little ink in the media, is this really the story we want them to tell? You could argue that without this story there is no story… which is the lesser of two evils?

As I try to decide, I will read this hilariously scathing recap of the article from Yahoo! Puck Daddy’s Greg Wyshynski at least ten times today.

Disclaimer: The Colin Farrell Appeal – Max Talbot would never call you fat or lazy (as a culture).  In fact, Max seems to love all women (Too much? Stop being photographed!) and thus is like Colin Farrell – hot, rich, has an accent, etc.  But his real appeal lies in the high likelihood that he would hook up with you too.  Because no one likes to be left out. 😉