For this installment of Mikey Monday, I’m going to give making fun of Mike Green’s spending habits a rest.  Instead, I bring you a recap of the text conversation between myself and Dawn on Saturday during the Capitals/Thrashers game (video).  There were about 75 texts over 3 hours.  Mike was back after missing 3 games with an “undisclosed upper body injury” and he played only on the power play.  We here at WUYS like to think of ourselves as Mike’s own Special Team.  The highlights:

4:00 PM – Pants: MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Commentators agree, with only 3 exclamation points.  Everyone v excited.  Pants claps.)

4:01 PM – Dawn: Thank God, the Caps are crap without him.

4:04 PM – Both: Mike-Cam!  (Camera shows MG suiting up, pre-game skate with no helmet.  Gratuitous MG footage loved by all.)

4:05 PM -Pants: Cor.  I want to be the Mike-Camerawoman.

4:20 PM – Dawn: Mike looks bored.  (More footage, commentators invent things to talk about re: MG.  Show him skating during TV timeouts. MG confirmed sleeping on bench.)

4:30 PM – Pants: FINALLY.  (Caps on power play, MG takes ice for first time.  Commentators pee themselves. MG stops pouting.)

4:35 PM – Nothing happens for ages.

5:15 PM – Dawn: Caps power play!  (Pants caught cheating with Jonathan Toews, changes back to Caps game.  MG looks stir-crazy.)

5:17 PM – Pants: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!  (MG puts puck in net off skate.  Big hugs.  Pants and Dawn both scream.)

5:33 PM – Dawn: Kicking?  (We don’t know the rule about kicking it into another player.  We hope it’s a goal.)

5:34 PM – Pants: Mike-cam is back. (MG is watching replay overhead, sitting so far to end of bench he is behind the glass like a backup goalie.)

5:34 PM – Dawn: He looks cute talking to himself on the bench. (MG definitely talking to himself, saying he looks hot on the Jumbotron.  Wait, that was Pants.)

5:35 PM – Both: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  Okay, good call.  (Goal waved off.  We knew it wouldn’t fly.)

5:37 PM – Nothing happens for ages.

5:52 PM – Dawn: Intermission interview! (Pants has traitorously switched to Hawks game and is drying her hair.  Throws dryer, leaps over couch, hits remote… misses interview.  Back to Hawks game… misses goal.)

5:54 PM – Pants: S*^$F&$*.  Missed it.  How was his hair?

5:55 PM – Dawn: Quick interview.  Looked really hot.

5:55 PM – Pants: Thank God for Center Ice replays and Tivo. (Confirmed later, Dawn was right.)

6:10 PM – Dawn: Hat trick for Semin!  I knew it!  Still there?

6:11 PM – Pants: On a date with Crosby.

6:12 PM – Dawn: Slut.  Mike hasn’t played in hours and you just leave?

6:25 PM – Dawn: Overtime!

6:35 PM – Dawn: Caps win, thank God.

6:35 PM – Pants: Snoooooooooooore.

[Pre-game interview invades Sid’s dance space: link.]

Tags: mike green, Sidney Crosby, washington capitals