Foxy Friday: Nicklas Lidstrom

- Posted in Foxy Friday, Like a Boss, We Love

I was thinking on Tuesday of all the NHL teams and who had never gotten a Foxy Friday (yes, this is what I think about).  Your suggestions are spot on – we’ve never featured a Senator, Star, anyone from the Blues or the Wild.  Or… drum roll… the Red Wings.  (I’m not counting Mike Modano.)  Plus it’s been Swedish Takeover here lately.

So it’s time for Nicklas Lidstrom.

Understand the I dislike the Red Wings with intensity.  Always have.  But no one, not even I, dislikes Nicklas Lidstrom.  He is classy, cool and endlessly well-respected.  That is Foxy.

We’re not talking 20-years ago Nicklas Lidstrom either:

Okay, then too.

We prefer recent-to-current, distinguished gentleman Lidstrom, bathed in the amber glow of 20 years as the NHL’s top defenseman.

At 41-years old, Lidstrom has won 4 Stanley Cups and 7 Norris trophies (including last year).  He’s been selected 12 times for the All-Star Game.  In ’02 he won the Conn Symthe and in ’06 won Olympic Gold.  He’s played for the Red Wings (and only them) longer than Tyler Seguin has been alive (19 seasons).  Lidstrom reached the 1500-game mark in October 2011, Gator and I were there to see it.  (Has she mentioned she’s from Detroit? Reminds me every day.)

Bonus: Norris Trophy presented by my stunt double, Robin Sparkles.

Foxy Friday was pretty much the only award Lidstrom didn’t have.  Surely now all his dreams have come true.

In his career, he has 1,139 regular season + 189 playoff points.  Lidstrom scored his first (and only) hat trick at 40 years old.  He has 4 kids who are undoubtedly the coolest kids at school.  The list goes on and on [link].

Perfect family is perfect.

Nicklas Lidstrom likes to keep everyone guessing.  In ’06 and ’08 he signed two-year contracts, as if he might retire after each.  In ’10 and again in ’11, Lidstrom took one year deals with the Red Wings.  Will he retire at the end of this season?  Probably not.  But just in case, Happy Foxy Friday.

The end.

Wait, what?  Oh all right.  Fine.

We can’t take you guys anywhere.

[Seriously Sweden, what is in your water?!]

I get a kick out of this commercial every time… and @rebelheart87 and I share a confessed thing for Corey Perry too.  Where are they supposed to be going?  For some reason I think it’s IHOP, because I would go for a post-game waffles & eggs with them.

Sh*t Nobody Says – Pittsburgh Edition

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Dawn Loves, Five Things, Hot Like Fire, Randomness

As the resident Ovechkin fan, I’m used to being odd-man-out so I’m just going to go for it today in this edition of:

With the return of Crosby, is it REALLY a good idea? I give you the following reasons:

1. Chemistry – Malkin is ON F*CKING FIRE. His run for the Hart trophy could be stifled too. Fair? Discuss.

2. They are, already, pardon my Charlie Sheen re-hash – WINNING!

3. With only a few games left and a tough schedule, Rangers, Philadelphia, no one is going to treat the kid with, ‘kid gloves’ so why, with the above points, bring Sidney back? Let him completely recover and start fresh next year.

4. Pittsburgh has so much depth in their line-up and I’m not suggesting this because I want them to lose, I just honestly can’t go through another CROSBY’S RETURN -THE DECADE, two years was honestly enough.

5. On a brighter note, I have it on VERY GOOD AUTHORITY, SEXY SHOW PONY …

What's that you say?

I told you, I'm playing tonight. Got it? Not, girls love. But they do.

So he no longer needs a hobby because he's baaaaaaack! But I'll wear a leash and he can walk me!

 

 

So, you’ll know where I’ll be about 4:00 PM PDT today. And if MY PRETTY PONY is still sidelined, I still have my Sidney Crosby drinking game to keep company! 🙂

Cheers! DC

I Gotta Feeling…

- Posted in Hot Like Fire, Newsies, Pants Loves

The Crosbot is back.  That’s right, the hottest team in the League is getting back the best player in the League just in time to play the top team in their division.  In mid-March.  I would think we’re in a Disney sports movie if I didn’t have to work on all the Disney movies for my real-life job.

Crosby will play on a line with Matt Cooke and Tyler Kennedy.  Oh a world in which Sidney Crosby is your second-line center.

No word yet if Kris Letang is definitely back in the Penguins lineup for tonight’s game vs. New York, but I put him in the picture for good luck.  They’ll announce Tanger’s status after the morning skate.

I have a fancy work event today, so no 87 jersey for me until game time.  I’m considering a black sharpie 87 on my forehead the inside of my wrist – let’s see if Gator will do the honors.

Rally Monkeys

- Posted in Randomness

This overtime, come-from-behind, shootout nonsense is taking years off my life.

The Capitals rallied from a 0-3 deficit to beat the NY Islanders in a shootout last night.  Foxy Friday John Tavares had 2 G + 1 in the shootout, and so did Ovi.  OVI!  I don’t like you but I love you and that’s just the way it’s going to be sometimes.  There were five penalties in the game – all of them against the Capitals.  Three of those against Jay Beagle.  Dude scores twice in a week and thinks he’s Alex Semin.

That's how we feel, Kitty.

Matt Hendricks scored the game-winner for Washington in the 4th round of the shootout.  Matt-freaking-Hendricks.  [Video link]  This was a huge game for the Caps, who’ve won four in a row for the first time since dinosaurs roamed the Earth.  Yay for wins, but these late-game comebacks are rewarding bad behavior.  Big game vs. Winnipeg Friday, with Mike Green back in the lineup.

Oh, and THIS!  Nicky skated for the second day in a row.  Rainbows sprung up all over DC and puppies started barking.

The Blackhawks turned around a 1-3 score against the Blues to win 4-3 in a shootout.  Viktor Stalberg scored one off his foot – this most perfect foot in hockey, judging by the rest of him.  It got Chicago back in the game.  Patrick Kane went first in the shootout and delivered the game-winner.

Here’s Kaner’s goal too [link].  There were two fights in the first period, which seems about right for these teams.  What’s still not right is Captain Serious, who took a second day off after four days of skating.  There’s no projected date for his return to the lineup as he’s still suffering concussion symptoms.  Get well Jon, we miss your derping.

Calgary beat the Sharks in OT, despite Rookie of My Life Logan Couture scoring his 29th and 30th goals of the season.  Foxy Friday Ryane Clowe had his 7th fight of the season, one for every gratuitous letter in his name.  Jarome Iginla had 1 G/1 A and was first star of the game.

The Flames are rolling at the right time, winners of their last four.  Check out the mess in the West:

Six games on the schedule tonight, so chances are at least one of you will be up late yelling at the TV.

Five-O

- Posted in Like a Boss, Newsies, Pants Loves

I hope I didn’t exhaust the #sorrychuck tag this weekend, because it needs one more outing.  Steven Stamkos scored his 50th goal of the season last night in Tampa Bay’s 6-1 rout of the Bruins.

I was #Landeskoging all over even though I wasn’t watching the game.  Stammer was the first star, naturally.

Enjoy this out-of-focus post-game interview, which will make you feel like you had a few celebratory beers.

It’s no secret that I really want Tampa Bay to make the playoffs (just not at the expense of Washington).  I refuse to acknowledge the chance this might not happen, instead preferring this formula for success:

– The Capitals win their last 12 games straight, maybe even one in regulation.

– The Lightning win 12 of their last 13, excluding the one they lose to the Caps.

– The Panthers, Sabres, Jet and Maple Leafs (and hell, the Senators too) lose all of their remaining games.

I just need more of this:

Unless Evgeni Malkin goes on a goal-scoring tear in Pittsburgh (hey, it could happen), Steven will win the Rocket Richard Trophy for most goals.  He shared the award in 2010 with Crosby – also known as the Day of the Disco Suit.

Geno and Stammer are neck-and-neck for the Art Ross Trophy (most points overall), with Gingeroux hot on their heels.  Sorry Claude but I want Stamkos for one, Malkin for the other and cupcakes for everyone.

I’ll be the girl in the Lightning shirt at the gym later.  Come say hi.

Sweet Thursday!

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

What’s that? I can’t hear you over my screaming.

The Captain is back (again).  Let’s hope for good this time.  Pittsburgh is 4 points behind New York for the top spot in the Atlantic Division and the Eastern Conference.  The Pens are idle till Thursday, but the Rangers play tonight vs. the Hurricanes.  If EStaal and Co. can shut them down, the Penguins could move within 2 points by winning Thursday’s matchup.  Here’s more video coverage from NHL Network [link].

The NYR have won 2 of their last 6, and the winner in each has scored 4 goals.  So the trick is to get to 4 first, we think.  The Pens have won 9 games in a row.  Obviously Crosby’s been anxious to get back but we hope this timing is a sign that he’s really ready.  It’s not like the Penguins are struggling without him just now.  In fact, things are looking shiny in Pittsburgh.  How shiny?

So modest.  We were thinking more along the lines of:

And in case you missed it, Sid got game-ready by practicing with some Mites on Ice.  I can’t handle these kids in their knee-length sweaters, they are beyond precious. [Video]

The Kid Stays in the Picture

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Randomness, We Believe, Well OBVIOUSLY.

So.

Much.

Happy.

Hurrah for Gabe Landeskog on one hell of a game.

After missing the pre-game skate with flu-like symptoms, he somehow managed to tough it out and score the game-winning goal (his 4th GWG of the season) versus the Kings in OT last night.

When I have the flu, all I want to do is eat saltines, drink ginger ale, and watch bad movies like “Teen Witch”.  The thought of having to play 60 minutes of hockey when all you want to do is hurl makes me want to hurl.

I don’t know how you did it, kid.

Landeskog also had three shots in the game bringing his season tally to 235 for the year, breaking Peter Stasny’s franchise rookie record for shots set waaaaay back in 1980-81 (12 years before GL92 was even a fetus.)

The Avalanche are in a desperate fight for a playoff spot so they are gonna need every point they can get.  Last night’s win moved them into 8th in the Western Conference.

With Matt Duchene out with a ankle injury, the Avs are going to have to depend guys like Landeskog, O’Reilly, and Stasny to keep them in the hunt.  Also critical to their playoffs hopes is the goaltending of Varlamov.  He’s been playing really well as of late and last night, he looked pretty tioght.

Let’s hope that the Avs’ young talent can sustain them and keep them in the race.

Because frankly, we’d love to see more of this.

 

P.S.  Kudos to Landeskog for giving a very nice, poised, coherent post-game interview.  So often, I cringe every time players do post-games because 99% of them are in desperate need of media training.  But Gabe was perfect.  Kid is gonna be a superstar.

Mayday!

- Posted in Breakin' It Down, Epic Fail, We Believe, Whatever

MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

Help!

The Bruins are teetering precariously on the edge of the abyss…and they are threathening to take me with them.

Saturday, they lost to the Capitals.  Yesterday, they got violated by the Penguins.  Patrice Bergeron and Adam McQuaid both got injured.  With Nathan Horton, Rich Peverley, Beniot Pouliot, and Tuukka Rask already out, it only to the dire situation the Black and Gold find themselves in late in the season.

Can I get a prayer circle?

Never have I seen a sadder face. Never.

McQuaid took a hard hit from James Neal in the 1st and did not return for rest of the game.  Bergeron took a shot off the leg and labored badly to try to battle through, but did not return.

Obviously, goaltending is a SERIOUS issue for the Bruins.  Serio, people.  I knew losing Tuukka would be tough but I had not fully realize it until this weekend.

And when I did, this was me.

Luckily I managed to pull myself together and attempted to analyze this mess of a situation the Bruins are in.

In an ideal world, Tukkaa would have played Saturday’s matinee versus the Caps, allowing Thomas to rest up for the game against the Pens.  But with Rask recovering from a groin injury, the Bruins were up Crap Creek without a paddle.  

Hell, they didn’t even have a boat.

Then you add in the clocks springing forward for daylight savings, and  you have a recipe for a grade A+, #1 disaster of epic proportion.

Yesterday’s game was that unmitigated disaster.

The Pens jumped all over Thomas from the first whistle scoring 3 goals in the first.  It was ooglay.

I was ready to rage every time the Penguins touched the puck out of sheer frustration.

Normally, I have no issues with the Penguins.  While they are not my favorite team, I respect them and like alot of their players but yesterday, I want to kick all of them in the shins.

Like really hard.

Bruins managed to stauch the bleeding somewhat at the beginning of the 2nd period by pulling Thomas and putting in Marty Turco.  TURCO TIME, YA’LL!

Turco played well in his first NHL game in over a year and no one threw smelly fish at him.  He only allowed 2 goals (if that can be considered a postitive) and made some great saves, including this gem on JStaal.

Poke Check.  Stack the pads.

I don’t know how it could get any worse for the Bruins but if they hope to have any chance to make a run for defending their Stanley Cup, they need to do something.

I have a suggestion.

Bubble wrap.

And lots of it.

Call Mike Green.  I’m sure he has some extra lying about.

Mikey Monday: Time Out

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Newsies, Pants Loves, Shanabanned

Mike is currently in detention, serving his 3-game ban for a hit to the head.  He spoke to reporters yesterday [video link] and was pretty contrite about it.  This is a classy way to disagree with a ruling but still take your lumps.

Well handled, Mr. Green.

Roman Hamrlik has replaced Mike in the last two games, and the Caps have won both. Unrelated, yes.  But lucky too because it takes away some of the sting when this could have put the Caps in a really bad spot.

Hopefully the Caps can get past the Islanders tomorrow night, then Mike will be back for Friday’s game in Winnipeg.  Super important stuff.

Can I be honest for a moment?  I got distracted by how completely effing perfect he is.  Didn’t hear a word he said, had to watch it again and again.  WUYS is on such a boy band-esque sugar high today that we need a slumber party full of pillow fights and ice cream.  You’re all invited and Mike would definitely attend.

Calling in Sick

- Posted in Randomness

Hey look, somebody with all their clothes on!

Sorry, it’s Monday and I’m punchy.  Plus I can’t get past this goal from Saturday night.  The Flyers and Maple Leafs went all of regulation and overtime waiting for this one.  Claude Giroux with the ridiculous shootout game-winner:

Are you kidding me?  It’s so beautiful I want to cry.  Datsyuk never makes me cry.  Here’s G talking about how he gets away with stuff like that and Bryz finally rendered speechless by something he cannot explain.

What is it with Giroux?!  He’s wearing a purple Italian restaurant tablecloth as a shirt. With a polka dot tie! [link]  I’d remind you that he plays for the Flyers, but I get the distinct impression you are ignoring me.

Just drink your Kool-Aid.

This is my innocent face.

Maybe even better than that goal?  The reaction of his teammates on the bench.  Pretty much what everyone everywhere did.

The bad guy in movies is always so handsome.  Well it doesn’t work on us, so keep walking, Ginger!  WELP.  As if that weren’t enough, he’s also ridiculously underpaid.  Like Extreme Couponing-meets-one of those storage unit shows where you buy the place and find the Hope Diamond inside.  The $5 million Claude will make in 2013-14 doesn’t even crack the top 50 NHL salaries for this year. [link]

Philly is 7-3 in their last 10, currently 5th in the East and tied with New Jersey at 85 points.  They lost to the Devils yesterday (4-1) and play them again tomorrow.  NJ is struggling a bit, going 5-4-1 over that stretch.  Both teams are within spitting distance of Pittsburgh at 89 points (9-1-0, thankyouverymuch) and in danger of being caught by Ottawa with 81.

Only kidding. I was totally thinking about your underwear.

If the Penguins play the Flyers in the first round, I’m going to need to brush up on my swear words.  It would require some very specific commentary.

This is Not My Fault

- Posted in Well OBVIOUSLY.

Before you scroll down, I’m just going to say three things:

1) Fair warning.

2) You can all stop sending me these photos now.

3) Intern Jeff Skinner can lift a LOT of office supplies.

I mean STOP IT.  I tried to resist posting these, but at least three people emailed me and this is a cheer-ocracy.  I’m not responsible for whatever you thought the moment you saw them, but I know where they’re from…

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JEFF?  You left that ice wearing three layers of clothing – did you Hulk right out of them?  There are girls in the stands who would faint (a few just fainted here).   Maybe you heard us all say we thought James Neal was kinda skinny on NHL36, or it’s because Tyler Seguin takes his shirt off every ten minutes.  If you want to keep showing off, and have 2-goal games like Saturday, we can take requests for you to jump out of birthday cakes.

And no, you still can’t have a raise.  But this was a *really* nice try.  I might have some singles…

[Real Question: What do you give strippers in Canada?  Loonies and Toonies?  Without paper dollars, I’m confused.  Or is everyone there so hot they start at the $5 range?]

Shanabanned: Mike Green

- Posted in Hall of Shame, Newsies, Shanabanned

Sorry if this place looks like Hate on the Caps Central.  We just want to win!!

And this won’t help.  Mike Green has been suspended three games.

I would be lying if I said the idea of Brendan Shanahan yelling at Mike on the phone didn’t give me the giggles.  I picture it like the principal yelling at the detention kids in The Breakfast Club.  Mike’s all of the guys, of course – the nerd, the jock and the bad boy with the soft heart.  He’d wear your earring, if not for that helmet.

Pooh Bear, why?  Keep your damned elbows down, this isn’t a Fall Out Boy emo pseudo-mosh pit!

So the Capitals will face Boston, Toronto and the NYI with Fidget on defense.  It’ll be Hamrlik or Erskine taking his place today.  I hope it’s Erskine – have you seen the Bruins?  Yikes.  I don’t want Troy Brouwer fighting all the Caps battles, because he scores 75% of their goals.

Godspeed to the Capitals today.  Chuck and her boys will show no mercy.

Your Friday Moment of Zen

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Randomness

And because I’m not a complete crabapple:

Pants’ new license Plate – AKA – the Shaggin’ Wagon!

BANG BANG LETANG – let’s hope he get’s better soon because he’s getting Mike Green-syndrome.

Continue reading →

An Open Letter To Ted Leonsis

- Posted in Epic Fail, Hall of Shame, Newsies, Playoffs, Randomness, Whatever

I simply have to vent this and get it off my, ah, proverbial chest ladies. As the resident Ovi fan and Captials fan, I know this will come as shock, but I AM SO MAD AT HIM, at them, at the WORLD and have been for some time and I just have to say and get it out.

An open letter to Mr. Leonsis,

I say this with as a fan of Alexander Ovechkin, first and foremost, and then of hockey.  When you fired Bruce Boudreau, a little piece of me died because no matter how the mainstream media spun it, we all know that it was because of player issues – e.g. Ovechkin.

Boudreau is a great coach. He will probably be the best coach you will ever have. He was not the problem. We all know “What the problem is with the Washington Capitals.” The real question is what is going to be done about it?

For five years I’ve watched Ovechkin go from a great player to a player with a great attitude. It pains me to say that but having been an athlete myself on a team, and a captain as well; you have to lead by example.  

I had hoped Mr. Leonsis would have bucked the system and shook things up by NOT firing Boudreau, showing some loyalty, having some balls, and fixing the real problem. If he had, his team may have actually had a shot at the play-offs. Sometimes the Alpha dog needs a good swat to the nutsack to get back in line and lead the pack.

But as it stands, the fans have watched Boudreau excel in Anaheim, their beloved team implode under the tutelage of Dale Hunter’s mess and Ovi still stands around on defense, stands around on offense, waits for his teammates to pass the puck to him and still misses it when they do. His attitude that he has to do it all has got to stop because guess what? He can’t, he certainly doesn’t and there are guys out there who can and are doing it better now.

He still has time on his contract where he can be traded. Perhaps before you fired Boudreau you should have used that bargaining chip to get your Alpha dog back in line. Now he’s the Rick Nash of the East Coast. No one will want that bad golden apple, no matter how good it might taste. He’s still too costly, you don’t know how he’ll perform and there still might be a worm in there somewhere. It’s not an imponderable conundrum. It’s just a conundrum.

FIX IT. PLEASE.

 Missing BB,

DC

Foxy Friday: Gregory Campbell

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Foxy Friday, Hot Like Fire, Well OBVIOUSLY.

This week, we’re going to the bench and giving the 4th line some playing time.

We thought it was time to give some love to the muckers and the grinders, the gritty players who claw and fight and forcheck their ways into our hearts.  While they might not show up on stat sheets or make it to ESPN’s Top 10, they are still deserving on our love.

And none is as deserving…or as foxy as Gregory Campbell, 4th line center for the Boston Bruins.

Thank you Lord for the v-neck tshirt.

Mean mugging with Horton and Looch

Campbell, or Soupy as he is affectionally known, came to the Bruins along with Nathan Horton in a trade at the beginning of the Bruins’s spectacular Stanley Cup season of 2010-2011.  He’s 6ft, 197 lbs of solid hockey man and has been a stalwart on the Bruins’ aggressive and impressive 4th line (aka the Merlot Line because of their wine colored practice jerseys) for much of the time he’s been with the Bs.

Hey Gurl.

He has ingraciated himself with the Bruins fans for his consistent and smart play…and his ability to bloody and pummel opposing players when the occasion call.  Sometimes he gets pummelled in return, but that just part of the game.  As the great band The New Radicals once said, “You gotta get what you give.”

Taking one for the team

He was a critical part of the Bruins’ Stanley Cup run where he masterfully center the penalty kill, limiting the Canucks to just two power-play goals in seven games.  He forechecks like a mutha.   He is strong on the face-off.  He even scores goals occasionally, like this beaut from last night’s game vs. the Sabres.

He has lovely eyes.  And his beard…well we all know how I feel about beards.

His arms inspire sonnets and proclamations of undying love.

He brings tasty pies to those that do not have pies.

He likes things shiny.

Sure, his dad might be Colin Campbell, former director of hockey operations for the NHL, but don’t think for one minute that this guy hasn’t earned his place in the NHL through nepotism or favoritism. He earned it through grit, determination, and and smart hockey sense.

He is an invaluable part of the Bruins squad and that alone makes him worth for this Foxy Friday honor.

TGIF

- Posted in Randomness

When I get an email from my co-worker Shades with the subject line “Weird Things Happen in Vancouver Friday,” it’s safe to assume he’s been watching hockey clips.  These are from Deadspin.com and almost make us like the Canucks.  Blergh.  Jonathan Toews, hug us!

The best thing about this video?  

Bieksa and Kesler do this in the locker room every day.

Keep watching, he sings the lyrics. [original link]

Juice is in on this one too, and it’s a winner.  The one-way train to Laugh Land makes frequent stops at the WUYS office.  Good thing we didn’t plan on getting any work done today.

[original link]

Happy weekend, everyone!

Uphill Battle

- Posted in Randomness

The emotional roller coaster that is the Washington Capitals delivered another Ovechkin overtime winner last night.  They should give out blood pressure medication with programs.

As I said after the Islanders games, we’ll take the point(s).  But the 60 minutes of sloppy, uneven play and constant turnovers it took to get there are infuriating.  When the Caps win, it’s luck – lucky that the other team didn’t beat you to it (like Carolina) because you certainly gave them enough chances.

Washington had three shots in the 2nd period.  Three!  On a goalie making his NHL debut!  The 3rd period was stronger – the Caps held the Bolts to just three shots and John Carlson played some of the best shifts I’ve ever seen from him.  The effort was buoyed by the same combination of the Loud Goat pleading and Unleashing the Fury  at exactly the right time.  Fired up?  HELL YES.  But why does it always take 52 minutes for the Caps to get that way?

Aucoin - 2 goals in 12 games. Knuble - 3 goals in 53 games.

Speaking of 52… from our seats in the Verizon Center, we saw Mike Green double-up on this hit to Brent Connolly.  We could not see his elbow and there was no replay or penalty, so we had no idea Mike was misbehaving.  What did people do before Twitter?

This is really what the Caps need with back-to-back games this weekend.  Do you want to see Hamrlik and Schultz as a defense pairing?  Are the Caps worried that we’ll be bored if they win before overtime?

While I’m at it, Semin is a disaster – and on this team right now it’s tough to stand out for that.  The six year old kid who played in the intermission Mites on Ice game looked a lot like Sasha Fierce, except that he had a goal.  Maybe we could throw a 28 on him and no one would notice… until he scores.

The Caps play Boston (Sat), Toronto (Sun), NYI (Tues) and Winnpeg (Fri) this week.  People have been saying “must win” for weeks now – Washington is running out of time to prove them wrong.

Camera One: Crosby

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

Sidney Crosby gave a long, patient interview to Pierre Maguire last night on NBC Sports Network.  Video: Part 1 [link] and Part 2 [link].

The real question: How long is Sid’s folding chair going to last?

It’s easier to see in the video, but picture The Beast joining Belle for dinner that first night, trying to fit himself into a normal person’s seat.  Only Sid is both characters, because no one’s looking at Pierre.  Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Crosby was his usual scandalous, emotive self, saying things like the Rangers are good, Fleury is good and he’s sick of being hurt.  He also said he won’t play “before Sunday.”  The Penguins have won seven games in a row – they’re six points behind the Rangers, and still have two games left vs. NYR.  Including Sunday.  Sidney, I think we’re onto you.

The Penguins unveiled the Mario Lemieux “Le Magnifique” statue [link] and the team attended.  Or Crosby is filming the new Bourne movie, and in this scene he’s incognito while doing recon on his target.

Maybe he’s just checking out Neal’s hair.

NHL36: James Neal

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

Go to the mirror right now.  Look at yourself and say, “Plaid suit” three times.

James Neal  and Claude Giroux will be fighting to climb out.

Nealmobile!

(If you’re too young to know Candyman or Beetlejuice, ignore that.)

When someone’s watching, you always think, “I’m definitely going to mess up.”  Like a cute guy smiles and you spill your drink, or you trip walking up the aisle at your wedding.

Imagine 36 straight hours of people watching you, recording it for posterity and the enjoyment fans everywhere.  You might get flustered.

You might forget how shirts work.

Wait, this isn't a pullover.

(Side note: What if James always puts his shirt on like this? And never knew it was weird until we all laughed?)

In case you’re new around here, NHL 36: James Neal premiered last night.  If you took every ‘N Sync song ever recorded, covered them in chocolate and injected them directly into my bloodstream, I would feel like this.  I had to stop it twice in the first three minutes just to squee.

Most the the show (like most of this blog) was dedicated to James’ hair.  It really is Grade A Hedgehog-quality.  He is afraid of losing it, so he only washes it once a week.  A dramatic re-enactment:

Then he styles it like he’s weeding a garden:

For a final polish, he lets Dupuis perfect the coif with his stick right before taking the ice for warm-ups.  This is obviously television gold.  You want to see the whole thing?

At the very beginning, watch Jordan in the background.  He’s trying so hard not to laugh.  Literally three seconds into the broadcast I knew I was dead.

Other things we learned:

Paul Martin is definitely James’ girlfriend.  James buying the house across the street is a little stalker-ish, really, but we’ll let it slide because he obviously loves breakfast.

Everyone thinks of James as their little brother. We want to know in what world people’s little brothers are James Neal, and where they live so we can grow up next door to them.

His favorite color is purple. He’d fit right in at Sweet Valley High.

You know the Stamkos-eating-cereal commercial I’m always going on about?  James one-upped it by using my favorite, Honey Nut Cheerios.

He’s bad at soccer, has beer in his fridge and drops an occasional F-bomb.  In the last 30 seconds he wises up and goes with full-body spandex over a cup – I’m just saying, that’s like Batman’s suit.  He knows we’re watching.

The verdit?  Dorky perfection.  Me, unsupervised, throwing pillows around the living room.  And lots of volunteers to help James Neal decorate that big empty house.

One Day

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves

Geno: You said 7:30.

James: I said 6:30.

Geno: My English is not so good.

James: …

We all know when the Nealmobile episode of NHL 36 premieres: TOMORROW.