Mi Kessel es Su Kessel

It’s starting.  In preparation for the Sochi Olympics and all you Americans who insist on rooting for America, we are…


Before undertaking this Phil Kessel makeover reality TV show, perhaps we should have watched 24/7.  Perhaps Intern Jeff Skinner should stop terrorizing my team with multi-goal games and do some blogging so I can watch TV, but that’s not going to happen.  So we rely on friends.

In her campaign to make  me and Lindsay , as she calls it, “Leafs tolerant,” Alison sent us this:


Right?  This makeover business isn’t going to be so hard!  First of all, Phil’s condo is major.  A four-poster bed and a  bathroom big enough for a hockey rink… I dream of architecture and natural light.  And their dog – a dog, you guys!


For cuddling!  In front of not three but FOUR TVs.  Are they all hooked to one remote?  If so, this is heaven.  Can I order pizza and/or launch the space shuttle from there?  I might not even need to throw a rager and invite you guys over.


I love how they set-decorated the living area (don’t try to tell me they have placemats out all the time) but didn’t bother even making Bozie’s bed.  BOYS. Maybe Phil is OCD for cleaning – AWESOME.  Live with a guy someday and you’ll wish for such ridiculous luxury.  Or that vase of (probably fake) flowers atop his dresser.


So, are we getting there?  Do matching thermals and toques (Canadian word alert), plus a bromance alive and well bring you a step closer to seeing Phil’s charm?  You can introduce your friends to his charming, homeless roommate.  That bit at the end about looking like idiots really melted our frozen hockey hearts.  Any chance they’d let us dog- and house-sit over the next road trip?


Don’t worry, we’ll be back with more installments of Presenting Phil Kessel.  Or what this really is: The Millionaire Matchmaker (Mr. Pants loves that show). Don’t worry Phil, we’ve got this.

Right now we need to watch 24/7.

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

  1. Snow Reply

    I’m rooting for Awkward Phil, who truly seems like a nice guy. Also, can someone please explain the concept of indoor toque-wearing? My better half does this. We live in the northeast but do have working heat; I’ll never get it.

  2. Things I never noticed until my 11th viewing of this video:

    The single Christmas stocking above the fireplace (Is it Phil’s? Bozie’s? Stella the Dog’s? I must know.) and the mysterious third person watching four TVs with them. But he isn’t wearing a toque so his identity is less important.

    I waited all 24/7 for the Phil and Bozie roommate segment – thank god Tyler returned from injury just before the Winter Classic so HBO could give the people what they were waiting for.

    (Although the “David Clarkson: Subway Rider” and “A Peek Inside Dion Phaneuf’s Closet” scenes were also great. See.. the Leafs aren’t so bad, you guys!)

    • Angie Reply

      On that note Alison, I vote David Clarkston for a foxy Friday! Did you see his abs in episode 1? Oh and I should mention I am a Red Wings fan, so that’s saying a lot! By the way, Winter Classic=coldest event I have ever been to in my whole life!

    • Candace Reply

      Stella is Phil’s dog she was Phil and his ex Girlfriend Brittney Perlman dog. when they broke up they fought over the dog I use to follow her Twitter. also David Clarkson has really nice abs

  3. “Live with a guy someday and you’ll wish for such ridiculous luxury.” Pants, once again, you complete me.

    ALSO the paint colour in Phil’s living room? You had me at HELLO WHAT IS THAT SHADE?? Grown up armchairs in the bedroom? My eyes cannot believe. I care not if a decorator did this, it’s actually happening.

    Leafs tolerant, complete.

  4. Kate K Reply

    Between the thermal, the toque, the suuuuper nice bed, the puppy, and the kindness to coworkers, I’m charmed.

    I do think that James Neal needs to come in as a hair consultant though.

  5. I have always loved Phil Kessel for unknown reasons [hello, I live in Seattle and am an Oilers fan, Toronto is far away]. This video helped me figure it all out – he’s every boy from my [very small] high school all wrapped up in one quiet and shy and grumpy exterior.

    Also. If he could mail me that gorgeous 4-poster bed it would be the best Christmas miracle ever.

  6. Cassy Reply

    One of my (Canadian) colleagues is so depressed about his team (Leafs) doing do badly he doesn’t recognise most of the Canadian roster and appears to have lost the will to support his national team.

    I told him to man up.

  7. Pingback: What I’m trying to say… | What's Up, Ya Sieve?