SANTA, YOU LISTENED!
Dear sweet Mother of I Don’t Know What I Did to Deserve This but your girl here was apparently on the REALLY REALLY NICE list this year, and Christmas is a little early.
I screamed when I saw these. My boss came running and found me face down on my desk pointing at the monitor. She mumbled something about a “dorky white guy” and left me hyperventilating into a bag of Reese’s Pieces.
Go to the Travis Matthew site now and buy more presents for everyone you know. Hire Seth L. Williams immediately for all events. Give these people your money, they have already given us the goods!
Endless, glittery, cupcake-flavored holiday hearts to @svenglass for sending this. You are my hero.
LOOK AT THAT TATTOO! Did I just say I don’t like tattoos (re: Mike Green)? LIES, ALL LIES!
I love it. I don’t even care what it is. I will put it on the flag of the country I start when I win the lottery, buy an island and create my own hockey league.
Nealand. Now accepting applications for citizenship.
James, don’t also start wearing tight pants. Unless you’re going to call me on that phone right now (202-000-1818), I cannot handle any more physical description or idea of description or basic general approximate estimated information. Or anything to do with your pants.
Ah, f&%$ it. More pants!
Sweaters too… don’t leave me any chance of walking away with my wits intact.
This is so autumnal, so back-to-school that I really want to play flag football with accidental, full-body tackling. Possibly in the mud. Anyone else get that?
I can’t go on. I’ve run out of semi-coherent things to say and all I hear is the sound of a cash register ringing in my head.
That’s it. I’m getting coal and Flyers tickets next Christmas, but it was worth it.
Someone should check on me in an hour, make sure I’m still breathing.
Again, all these photos are from www.sethlwilliams.com. They deserve a case of wine or a wagonload of gold bars. Bless them, every one.Tags: Adverts, james neal, pittburgh pengiuns