Foxy Friday: Evgeni Malkin

You knew it would happen.  No one can be this hilarious and adorable (and talented) without landing in the Foxy Friday history books.

Also, as a Pens fan, I know that life without Geno is a cold, sad place in which James Neal scores no goals.

I could (and might) look at pictures of Evengi Malkin all day long.  How does one guy have so many hilarious photos?

There is some room for debate here (more commonly know as The Michael Phelps Dilemma).  Is Geno hot or not?  Sometimes you get this:

And the next minute it’s this:

But mostly, I think of Geno as:

And definitely:

After all, Geno has a lot going for him. He led the NHL in points last season, which earned him the Art Ross Trophy.  He also won the Hart Trophy as NHL MVP and carried off the World’s Best Acceptance Speech title at the same time:

If you’re not squeeing, you are a robot.

Geno works hard:

Plays hard:

And brings his cute friends around all the time.  What more do you want?

Admit it, you’re jealous he’s not on your team.  Speaking of teams, in a world where Crosby fears to touch anyone (he’s a Confessor, a la The Sword of Truth series), Geno hugs EVERYTHING.

Heck, he’s even hugged Ovi.  All creatures great and small love Geno.

Don’t forget Geno’s sense of humor, because girls want a guy who can make them laugh (on Twitter).  Do parentheses mean something else in Russian?  He and Ovi both go crazy for them.  During the World Juniors:

Perhaps Geno’s greatest accomplishment is to be engaged in a bromance that actually makes me jealous.

No really, they are in love.  Geno was a huge part of Nealmobile’s 40 goal/81 point season, which must be why he thinks James is so lazy.

Watching them on the same line is so perfect, I’m like:

Moral of the story: When Evgeni Malkin says “I’m score,” he doesn’t just mean on the ice.  He means in life.  Awards shows:

Ugly sweater contests (and ugly t-shirts, ugly shorts – more photos):

Last man still dancing at a wedding:

And brightening the lives of children by identifying Russia on this globe.

He’s pretty perfect, right?


So there you have it – Evgeni Malkin, Foxy Friday.  GIRLS LOVE.  You can argue with popularity… but you’d be wrong.

Geno is playing actual hockey right now in Russia, for Metallurg Magnitogorsk.  He had a goal and two assists yesterday.  SIGH.  Keep an eye on Twitter for live feeds of most of the games, and turn up the Russian to really make your boss wonder what is going on.

If you’re on wondering where that is, here’s part of the Google Maps directions from my house.  Very helpful.  (The earth is only 24,901 miles around, surely it would be shorter to go the other way?)

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  1. MouthGuard Reply

    He’s a textbook first-decan Leo, which largely explains why he’s so very different from second-decan Leo Chachi. That, and Russia.

    As much as I love poking fun at Russians – because it’s so damned fun – I also celebrate them and to me, Geno is the epitome of everything that is awesome about Russia. He is one of my pet athletes and I adore that he is his uncensored self 24/7. There are times when I want to kick him in the derriere but most of the time, he kicks me in the derriere and that’s how I like it. 😉

    Re hot or not: It’s a tough call. There are definitely times when he’s scorching hot and as you pointed out, he also has his butterface moments. Always nice to look at from the neck down, however. Even in an ugly sweater. His sense of humor and candor offsets the butterface most of the time, though.

  2. Ladies, I love you, but no. No, no, no, no, no. Malkin is NOT foxy. Talented? Absolutely ridiculously so. Goofy in an endearing kind of way? I’ll give you that. Unintentionally hilarious? Yes, ma’am. But not foxy.

    But that shimmying penguin gif? J’adorable!

    • Farah Reply

      I have to second this. Sorry ’bout it :-/

  3. Kristi Reply

    I love this. Also, it looks like a Foxy Fridaying Geno is a good excuse to put up pictures of James Neal)))))

  4. Rhonda Reply

    Zhenya is adorable. He’s one of those people whose personality makes him attractive.

    Also the ))))) are smiles.

    • Pants Reply

      That sounds about right – lots of smiling when Geno is around. In English is make the Tweets look crazy, which also makes me smile!

  5. Brittany Reply

    It is ABOUT TIME! You know how I feel about Geno. He completes me in every way that someone I don’t actually know could complete me.

    I must have bizarre taste…because I think he’s the foxiest guy in the league. *hides from objects being thrown*

    Side note: He also has a HUGE heart and steals mine with every bit of charity he does.

    …and I would swim across the Pacific Ocean if I thought he’d take me to dinner.

    • Pants Reply

      This post was all for you, B. I was thinking about you the whole time!

    • MouthGuard Reply

      FIRST ROW, SIN BIN!!! My favorite seats, as well!!! 🙂 So worth the investment, don’t you think?!

      • Totally worth it! I live in Florida and my best friend is a big Lightning fan. So for my birthday this past January my husband surprised me and my best with these tickets when the Pens came to Tampa.


    Also, it’s been a little too Pensy around here lately… there is a certain captain in the midwest being all sorts of BOSS right now. I you want an update a la me, all you have to do is ask (or tell me to stop tryin to hijack your blog :-P)!

  7. Deidra Reply

    I’m absolutely dying at: The Michael Phelps Dilemma. 🙂

    I discovered this blog looking at Mike Green pictures a few months ago and now I have it bookmarked and check everyday.
    The captions under the photos are my favourite and also the fact you focus on all the same players that I love! Keep up the amazing work!

  8. Liz Reply

    Well, I am totally late here because I’m guilty of letting things pile up in my google reader and then reading a bunch of posts in one fell swoop.

    Which means I’m late on pointing out that I TOOK THAT PICTURE OF THE THREE GUYS ON THE BENCH! And then a couple weeks ago, I saw a link to this version – someone had cropped and black-and-white-itized it, and it was getting like 500+ reblogs. Still no idea how that happened.

    Anyway, it was my favorite game I’ve ever been to, so it makes me smile that the photo has apparently taken on a life of its own and is going forth to spread joy around the internet.

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