If you don’t follow @alexsemin, then I don’t know what you spend your time laughing at.  And you missed the goobye haikus composed for his former Caps teammates, coaches, broadcasters and foes.  My favorite:

In my mind, the only thing Sasha Fierce ever did right:

Based on this photo of Mike, taken last week and trolled from Tumblr, he takes a breakup like we take a breakup: Now shower, no contacts, yesterday clothes.  Probably a lot of sappy Pinterest-ing.  Wah waaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Cheer up, Mikey!  There’s always Nicky.  And the 1/4th of a boob not cropped from this photo (not my work).  All is not lost!  Of course the absence of Semin making lazy and ridiculous mistakes means even more people looking at you… um, nevermind.  Love the glasses.