Mikey Monday: Round One

- Posted in Mikey Monday, Pants Loves, Playoffs

The Caps lost a tough one yesterday to Brandon Dubinsky’s mustache, but I don’t think that hideous accessory has another game in it.

MGs perfectly perfect 3 o'clock shadow does not approve of your porn stache.

Mike has 3 assists in 3 playoff games.  He’s also averaging 22 minutes of ice time.  Not bad for missing all those games, eh?  The Caps took twice as many penalties as the Rangers yesterday so defense if key.  They are getting 2 goals a game here and it just seems to depend if the Rangers get more or less.

I hope the Caps win, because I am a heathen who is cheating on her real team.   Plus I really hate the Rangers.  And how can you cheer against a team that looks like this when they score?

GLEE.

Just get to round two.  Or three.  And play the Pens so Crosby can come storming back and… okay, this is supposed to be about Mike!  Content Monitor Backstrom (that’s like a Hall Monitor) will bust us for failing to reach our quota.  He’s mad I ousted him from Mike Green Campaign HQ, but I told him he can run for VP of Adorbs.  His people (Samin, Neuvy, iCarly) are considering the offer for next season.

Welcome to The Sandlot.

Game 4 is Wednesday in NY.  The Caps look strong, but will it be enough?  I think we all had them advancing past the first round and putting the ghost of last season’s loss to an 8th seed team to rest.  Halfway through the series, are you still feeling it?

The Beard.

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Playoffs

Is the stanley cup hiding in there?

This week’s beard update. Here’s where it stands. The Sedin’s are disqualified because they always have one and it’s always groomed. Shea Weber started too early but I’ll include him solely because of its sheer awesomeness but he’s out of the running and same goes for George Parros. And believe it or not, there is actually an attractive man under that obnoxious 70’s facial hair and horrible hair cut!

As Mr. Cherrie says, "This is made for riding!"

Other than that, it’s up for grab and if I’ve missed one of your favorites, feel free to send a photo because I’ve spent hours pouring over this week’s play off photos and I very well could have missed some one.

No wonder Detroit keeps winning, the entire team can grow one in a day!

Who knew? Evidently not Boston ...

Mike Green is growing something MAGICAL! HOLY COW!

let's hope more goals come flying out of Patrice's beard ...or somewhere else - SOON!

where on earth did this come from? because one minute is wasn't there and the next - BAM! scooby doo !

no wonder this series is tied 1-1 ... penner and wallin.

does this really surprise any of us? ALL MAN ... ALL THE TIME.

Winner winner chicken dinner! Why is this young lady smiling? Because she took the challenge!

Doughty Gets His On Own 'History Will Be Made' Spot!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Just when I said I couldn’t love him more? *sigh*

This Is How Much I Love Drew Doughty And The LA Kings!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs

Move over Sidney, Dawn's got a new use for your dryer!

Unfortunately Robot Chicken won’t let you upload the clip so you have to follow the (link) but it was Drew Doughty ALL NIGHT LONG! Chang- Ching!

I couldn’t stand it last night! If the puck was anywhere near Drew it went in! He was the second star in the NHL behind Pavel Datsyuk; he tied the franchise record with an Amaze-balls 4 points – and he tied himself from last year and Paul Coffey. Dude – HE IS NOT ONLY TOUCHED BY GOD – HE IS A HOCKEY GOD!

With Kopitar AND Jarret Stoll out, The LA Kings still Whipped Their Hair and the Sharks to shut out them out with an astonishing 4-0 score in their own back yard. WHAT THE …?

Even the SJ announcer was talking about your five hole even though he meant Quick!

My favorite snap of the night? JR calling out Patrick Marleau on Versus. If this is all that ever happens it will be enough because the Kings played like a team that deserved to be there. But I hope they keep it up – upsets are always awesome.

Your Moment Of Play-Off Stress Relief Zen.

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs

Thank you all at WUYS for voting me Disney Prince! I accept the award.

Kaner’s Stanley Cup Pants-Off Dance Off:

Captain Serious – aka Jonathan Toews does an interview SHIRTLESS:

Yes, Dawn, I know, but I asked you to stop calling me here. Jordan gave you my number? That ...

Out and about in LA with Drew, Jarret and Matt from the LA Kings … YEOW! Drew looks Smokin’ HOT!

And Scooter MaGoo …

Foxy Friday – Jason Arnott!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Foxy Friday, Hot Like Fire

Ive got the dark and broody thing down pat girls!

The Caps needs some love and they got it in the form of sexy #44 from New Jersey who waived his no-trade clause in February go to Washington and serve as a strong center for BB and Capt. Ovi!

Now we just need a shot of that in a Caps Jersey!

He’s the only one on the team with a cup under his belt and has put a ring on it (oops besides Knuble)! That shows he has faith in the Caps and we have faith in #44 because in the short time he’s been there, he’s done that! He’s scored his 400 th career goal and made a huge difference helping put the Fierce back in Sasha Fierce!

Why is Jason the only one NOT shirtless? Does he not know THE RULES?

BTW – in the photo above, both Sashas have to be standing on something!

He shares his birthday with Pants, October 11 but not the year! So he’s a Libra like her and I.

He began his NHL career with the Edmonton Oilers  in 1993–94 after being selected seventh overall in the 1993 NHL Entry Draft and was named to the NHL All-Rookie Team. A two-time NHL All-Star, Arnott won the Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils in 2000, scoring the championship-winning goal in the second overtime of game six so the play-off experience will definitely come in handy!

You are FOXY! And were glad youre a Cap now!

He’s 6’5″ and 220! That’s alot of hunky hot man meat! He’s married but that shouldn’t count him out of the hottie patrol here! We can still love him from a far!

So we salute you Mr. Arnott for coming to Washington and award with this week’s FOXY FRIDAY! and hope to see you raise the cup once more only this time in a Caps jersey!

*Editor’s Note from Chuck*

Sorry, Dawn, but I had to photo bomb your post.  How could you have forgotten this gem?

Scrub-a-dub, ladies.

*puddleofelove*

Ovi Bought Me Coffee – Again!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness

You are almost better than a Starbuck's Gold Card my friend!

I am so wearing ‘the outfit’ more … Especially during play-offs to STARBUCKS! A big shout out to Random Maple Leaf Fan this AM who bought my Venti Earl Gray Tea Latte. You made my morning after the LA KINGS lost a heart-braker to San Jose last night. 🙁

Thanks dude! Love you too!

You also made me laugh when you suggested we fly to Pittsburgh and you’d buy me an expensive steak dinner if I wore this outfit at the Consol Energy Center! HAHAHAH – I’m not THAT dumb brother! I got you back when I said I’d do it if I could sit on Letang’s lap! You didn’t think I’d say that!

So here’s to you Random Maple Leaf Fan … maybe next year. Phil Kessel took it like a man when was picked last at the All Star game and yes, your boys trounced the Caps once this year.

What's Your NHL Superstition?

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Randomness, Well OBVIOUSLY.

Here’s a video about various players spilling their OCD secrets from Captain Serious saying he doesn’t have any pre or post game rituals which I call BS on! No one with devil eyes like that can say he doesn’t have any – he may not want to tell anyone but I don’t believe for one hot minute he doesn’t brush Kaner’s mullet for good luck before he hits the ice each game! Flower, we know, pets the goal post when the puck hits it because he thinks that helps and evidently who are we to argue with his success? I know some of you want to shower with E. Staal … 🙂 I’ll learn to play X-Box for Drew.

Anyway, here are some delicious dishes on what our favorite men do before or during the game. Feel free to tell us what you do to help them out! I yell at the TV because I KNOW OVI can hear me now!

I have to add this update from Puck Daddy: (link) because I am totally siding with Sidney on the  ODC issue on shaving. No one gets between me and the razor.  Sorry guys.

My Vote For Next Year's All Star National Anthem Artist!

- Posted in All Star Game, Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire

[brightcove vid=557985342001&exp3=594258040001&surl=http://c.brightcove.com/services&pubid=1815805388&pk=AQ~~,AAAAAGw6_cw~,orja1xhYdu3rs6LhvI2eES_NASP2XRmD&w=416&h=312]

OK, I will confess to being a bit of a Classical Music nerd having sat through Wagner’s Ring Cycle – and no, that is not a horror movie trilogy. I was watching Dancing with the Stars so I could watch Maks drop Kristie Alley again like a shot putter over loaded at the Olympics! But instead, Mr. Cherrie found me talking to the TV at this Hottie for Classical Music theme night. I just rolled my eyes and told Mr. Cherrie I could see through the window dressing and that his guy was GOOD – no GREAT! He can play “The Flight of Bumble Bee” in 66 seconds – a world record!

And then I thought, “Hey – we had a blow out last year about  – he who I won’t name for fear of being flash mobbed by his fans again – WHY NOT start early and suggest David Garrett? International yet Half-American! Young, hip and HOT! I think this would work! Hockey fans might actually appreciate this guy who would bring some flash and totally rock BOTH anthems “O Canada” and “The Star Spangle Banner” – ala Jimi Hendrix Style and bring some much needed Pazzaz to the game. Oh say can you see … Oh hell yes! I say!

I know it’s the play-offs and why am I going on about the All-Star game? BECAUSE … that’s how my brain works sisters. You should all know that by now! And BTW – you should totally down load ROCK SYMPHONIES on iTunes like, NOW because you will LOVE IT!

Growing Up In Thunder Bay.

- Posted in Fight Club, Pants Loves, We're Mental

Earlier, one of our readers suggested a reality show of the Staals growing up in Thunder Bay and I found some toddler video of them as youngsters!

You can totally see Jordan in the middle taking control and slapping Eric and Marc around. But they hold their own for a bit and Marc totally comes back for more after being dropped a few times! He’s got scrapper written all over him!

The others are too young to get involved or too scared of Jordan to get their butts bitten! Am I missing any?

Tim Thomas: Goalie Berserker

- Posted in Chuck Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs

One of THE best analysis of Timmy Thomas and his unorthodox style.  Totally spot on.

Please, sir. May I have another? YES!

From NHL.com (Goalie matchup: Canadiens-Bruins)

Justin Goldman chooses Tim Thomas, Boston Bruins:Tim Thomas is a true goaltending enigma.

Everything he does is the complete opposite of what today’s elite butterfly goalie is taught to do. He is the world’s finest “read-and-react” goaltender and simply does whatever it takes to stop the puck. He’s a crowd-pleaser, a bold and animated man that wears his emotions on his sweat-soaked sleeves. His everlasting aggressiveness also reveals a fiery side that makes him the ultimate competitor.

When juxtaposed with Carey Price‘s technically sound style, I ask myself which goalie is more valuable in such a heated rivalry. Personally, I choose fire over ice. Give me the guy who has the ability to abandon technique when needed and put forth the sheer effort needed to make the timely save.

Here’s another advantage to Thomas’ style — his shorter legs. With a slightly wider stance, the speed at which he drops down into the butterfly and seals his knees and pads to the ice is slightly quicker than a goalie with longer legs.

Watch when he sets up for a shot. His legs will flare out just slightly so that his knees get closer to the ice. This allows him to drop down and pop back up even faster, which makes him that much more mobile and agile in the crease.

Thomas also enters the playoffs with plenty of swagger and confidence. He broke the modern-day save percentage record with a .938 mark and also notched a League-best 2.00 goals-against average. He accomplished these feats in just 57 games, so he’s also way more rested than Price, who played in a whopping 74 games.

As much as I love Price’s stellar fundamentals and youthful enthusiasm, I have to side with Thomas, the NHL’s true goalie berserker. He’s wild, crazy, and literally attacks pucks in a bloodthirsty manner.

And THAT, my friends, is why the Bruins can make a serious run at the Cup.

If you haven’t seen Thomas play, do yourself a favor.  Tune into Versus tonight.  He’ll totally make it worth your while.

I promise.

Sorry Penguin!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Randomness

I was watching the Caps last night – Duh! And then THIS came on! WINNING!

Ovi’s new Capital One commercial! I suspect it’s really Mike Green in the Penguin costume hiding out from Animal.

If only he shot like that DURING the game. I want to sit in on these ridonculous pitch meetings – “Hey Ovi, we’ll put you upside down on a rollercoaster of death going 100 miles per hour and shoot bullets at you and you’ll knock them out of the air with your hockey stick!” and he’ll laugh and say, “OK – I can do that but I must be blindfolded with ear plugs because that would be too easy.”

Just sayin. 😉

All Time High

- Posted in We Love

We had our highest page views ever yesterday (over 1200).  And our own page views don’t count, so Dawn can go back to that Ovy “Foxy Friday” every ten minutes if she wants.

It’s only fitting for the post-season, right?  We love you guys! And thanks to Brooks Laich, who was searched 33 times by people who ended up here.

Everyone loves Brooks, including his teammates.  Especially Mikey.  And you guys.

Know When to Hold 'Em

- Posted in Newsies, Pants Loves, Playoffs

I’m not getting too excited over the Game 1 victory in Pittsburgh, because Kenny Rogers says you never count your money while you’re sitting at the table.  But there was definitely some screaming last night (aside from cries of anguish over the Blackhawks) because I do get excited over strong starts and shutouts.

 

James Neal with a *sick* pass to Kovalev, looking like he’s unloading on net but he’s going wide ON PURPOSE!  The Nealmoble honks in approval.  And guys like Aaron Asham scoring goals… holy crap I love this team.

Honk if you like my hair!

Flower was ON IT last night and that’s what the Pens needs more than anything, especially against the Bolts.  So much love for MAF-bomb today.  If don’t love bbFlower with his short hair and giant draft-day smile… we question you.

 

Is It Over Yet?

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs

Is it safe yet?

I can’t bare to look. The last thing I remember was Ovi stabbing at the puck like a fat girl trying to the grab the last cupcake at happy hour at Cupcake Royale and believe me, I KNOW because that is usually ME! And trust me, you don’t want your fingers anywhere between me and the last red velvet cupcake.

And then O.T. and then … and then … nothing. Like really bad well … we all know what euphemism I am suggesting here and it wouldn’t have anything to do with Kris Letang. Oh the miserable waiting while they went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Finally Mr. Cherrie commented that all O.T. goals are either scored in the first 2 minutes or the last 2 minutes and then Sasha Fierce brought down the house and Ovi threw him to the ice with alot of affection!
THANK F*&CKING GOD because I don’t think I could take it anymore. Of all the first round play-off games tonight this one was a heart stopper. I was literally trying to mentally will the puck into the goal from the couch and Pants and Chuck were texting me asking me if I was freaking out – “Why yes, OF COURSE!” And then because I got a new phone that I have NO IDEA how to work, I ended up calling Chuck EAST COAST time – she LOVED THAT – instead of texting her back.
Earlier in the day Pants thought I butt dialed her when I had actually tried to texted her too. Don’t you love that? Having friends think you accidentally butt dial them? “Oh sorry …I love you so much my butt dialed you …”  “Just thinking of you so my butt dialed you. xxoo”  “My butt just called to say it loved you. xxoo” So there is your happy play-off thought for the day. Maybe some day my butt will dial you too just to say ‘hi’ but it will more likely just text you to tell you – GO CAPS – OVECHKIN IS HOT!

This Is How I Feel Today!

- Posted in Dawn Loves, Hot Like Fire, Playoffs, Well OBVIOUSLY.

And if both Drew Doughty and Kris Letang weren’t both in the play-offs, I’d suggest that either of them – oh hell they could take turns! – were the ones tickling me and I was the kitten!

All my boys are in!

I wish I were a hockey stick - THAT hockey stick!

Or a JQ's helmet ... pucker up big boy!

let's get some play-off goals and get this party STARTED!

SkateNet Takes Over the NHL Playoffs

- Posted in Playoffs, Randomness, We Love

40 years is a loooong time to wait for a shiny silver cup called Stanley.

But apparently, my beloved Bruins won’t have to wait much longer thanks to the interweb…and apparently the SkyNet computers.  Or SkateNet, as I like to call it.

Be careful! It's self aware!

According to sports simulation website Whatifsports.com, the Killer B’s will win the cup with a thrilling, seven-game victory over the Sedin Wondertwins and the Vancouver Canucks.

Using current season rosters and stats, Whatifsports simulated the entire Stanley Cup Playoffs (1,001 times) and the Bruins came away lifting the cup 35.96% of the time. YAY!

What SkateNet predicted…

—> Bruins make it to the Finals by beating the Flyers in six games in the Eastern Conference finals
—> Canucks beat the Predators (!!) in seven in Western Conference Finals

Boston’s path to glory will be carved early, as the Bruins were the only team that ended up taking their first-round series in a four-game sweep. In fact, they won 96.3% of the time in their simulated series against the Canadiens, the highest of any matchup in all four rounds of the playoffs.

Take that, Les Habitantes!

As for the Canucks, they ain’t no slouches. They DID have a 117 point regular season (read: sick nasty crazy good).

Unforch, for them, SkateNet does not predict an easy road to victory.

Although they won their first round series against the Hawks 80.92% of the time, it took them average of six games to do so.

Patrick Kane and his mullet will not go down without a fight!!!

Playoff upsets predicted by SkateNet? You betcha!

Rangers knock off the Capitals!  Dawn weeps uncontrollably and curls up under her Alex Ovechkin snuggie.  Pants buys Mikey a puppy to ease the bitter sting of defeat.

Pet me.

SkateNet also predicts wins for 5th seed Nashville Predators over the Ducks (Hurray for Willy!), the Coyotes (!!!) over the geriatric-yet-really-really-talented Red Wings, the Penguins, and Jumbo Joe and the Sharkies.

Is SkateNet the next World Cup Octopus?  Sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

Door-to-door salesmen

- Posted in Pants Loves

Did I forget I was in charge at Bauer?  Because I definitely did the endorsement casting for these commercials:

 

NICKY SPEAKING SWEDISH!

 

Wish you were in the playoffs, EStaaaaaaaaaaal.

Is this the moment?

- Posted in Newsies, Playoffs

Time to skip school, call in sick to work, cancel your friendships and stock up on canned goods.  It’s playoff time. I’m wearing my Crosby jersey to work in DC and the Red Wings fan in my office can’t look at me.  And there’s this:

And I'm back in the game!

We know you’re ready for tonight – for yelling at the TV, throwing couch cushions, texting frantically and running outside to do cartwheels in the yard.  All the heart-breaking, tear-inducing, pride-swelling euphoria of the post-season.

Mike Green should be back tonight.  Sidney Crosby will not.  The Sedins are still robots.  Tim Thomas is the NHL BAMF and gets our vote for Vezina.  Corey Perry was the only player to hit 50 goals.  Dallas fired their coach.  Minnesota has a sense of humor.  And in the end, it’s just the beginning.

graceful bow

Call the Shots

- Posted in I'm Always Right, Playoffs

Chuck and I are kicking it Miss Cleo-style and find we’re really on the same page about Round 1 of the Playoffs.

We're not Jamaican, neither is she.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

No.1  Washington Capitals vs No.8 New York Rangers

Chuck: Capitals.  Because I like way more guys on the Capitals than I do on the Rangers.

Pants: Capitals.  I have always hated the Rangers and I don’t want to see Dawn or Mike Green cry.  Too many early-round exits, time to deliver on some promise.

No.2 Philadelphia Flyers vs No.7 Buffalo Sabres

Chuck: Flyers.  Because I want to see Scott Hartnell’s beard get an assist like in those Verizon ads

Pants: Flyers, even though I don’t like it.  Holding out hope that Ryan Miller can shut it down.

No.3 Boston Bruins vs the No.6 Montreal Canadians

Chuck: Killer B’s, baby.  I hate the Canadiens with the fire of 1 million suns.

Pants: Bruins.  Cassy hearts Bergy and I haaaaaaaaaaate PK Subban.  And Carey Price.  And the rest of ‘em.

No.4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs No.5 Tampa Bay Lightning

Chuck: This will be a great series.  Penguins.

Pants: PENS.  OBVIOUSLY.

Trannysaurus Rex says ROAR.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

No.1 Vancouver Canucks vs. No.8 Chicago Blackhawks

Chuck: Canucks.  With the Sedin Twins, they’re are just too strong right now and the Hawks just made it in by the skin of their teeth and some miracle of math.

Pants: Hawks.  Because it’s nice here inside my delusions.  Considering crashing the power grid so they can’t plus in the Sedinbots at night.

No.2 San Jose Sharks vs No.7 Los Angeles Kings

Chuck: Sharks, but the Kings could make this very interesting….

Pants: Sharks.  Because I have teal nail polish that matches my free SJ jersey perfectly.  Also, Logan Couture, Rookie of My Life.

No.3 Detroit Red Wings vs No.6 Phoenix Coyotes

Chuck: Red Wings.  Oldest team in the NHL (average age 31.4 years).  15 players over the age of 30.  That is a whole lotta experience there….

Pants: Red Wings.  Imagine what would happen if they lost to Phoenix?! A girl can dream.

Wah waaaaaaaaaaaaah.

No.4 Anaheim Ducks vs No.5 Nashville Predators

Chuck: Predators.  Two words: Pekka. Rinne.

Pants: Preds.  Both teams have been so strong, but the Preds have really surprised me.

Give us your predictions, why you feel that way and if you think we are bonkers for thinking the Capitals and Sharks might actually live up to something for once in their lives.