Foxy Friday: Farewell

There are three Fridays left in the regular season, and with that, it’s time to bite the bullet. We must bid adieu to some of our favorites, sending them off to summer with strict instructions for shirtless boat-selfies, colorful golf pants/plaid shorts and hey, if anyone wants to pour ice water over his head and post the video, that’s cool too. Or just wakeboard. We’ll give money.

bette davis

(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers


I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.


New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.


Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.


If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:


Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.


Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.


Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]


But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.


HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.


At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:


No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.


The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.


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Leave a Reply

  1. BAD CHUCK & PANTS! Upon seeing “Foxy Friday: Farewell,” I immediately had a heart attack thinking you were either discontinuing the feature or disbanding the blog. Please be more specific next time! I want to swoon due to foxiness, not panic.

    • Pants Reply

      Based on the number of posts we’ve had this season, I am not surprised someone might think that!

      • Cassy Reply

        You CANNOT close the office. What about my Green Card? My Crystal Light? My Watchamacallit bars? What about Intern Jeff Skinner?

        Cassy say NO.


  2. Fatema Reply

    I will miss Aaron Ekblad. I hope he wins Calder. Anyone but Filip Forsberg and Johnny Gaudreau. Defencemen don’t get enough credit.

    • If Gaudreau wins, we will flip tables. #BCSUX

  3. Kate Reply

    I thought you were kidding about the Jeff Skinner thing and cracked up. And then I found out you weren’t and laughed even harder. That being said, ferris wheels terrify me so I really shouldn’t laugh at Intern Jeff.