Intern Update

It’s an awkward moment in any boss’ career when you realize that, over the summer, your intern became hot.


This is Taylor Lautner and you’re listening to….

We could dial that back down a few notches to “attractive,” because Intern Jeff Skinner will always have the face of a 12-year old and be our equivalent of a little brother.  But it’s safe to say that he has well and truly ditched the title “The Justin Bieber of Hockey” – because Justin Beiber is still in a child’s body while Jeff is all dimples and built like Beyonce.


I woke up like dis.

I’m just saying: this guy still works for free.  Obviously we make him lift a lot of very heavy things.  Perhaps we should consider a clothing allowance since his outfits are so snug, but it’s not like we told him to do the ice bucket challenge in a white t-shirt.  The moment it was over, he – and everyone else – realized it was a bit too scandalous for the Disney Channel and ran off-screen.


Modest Mouse

Now Chuck thinks we need a new intern; suggestions are welcome.  The new guy can clean her office.  I will never give up Intern Jeff, who’s only 22, because he won the Calder even when I didn’t vote for him and we do a mean duo lip-sync of the entire Ed Sheeran song catalog in alpha-order.  So what if he looks better than I do?


Never heard of him.

I get paid to work here, after all.  No slacking off.


Who hashtags raisins?  #interns

Intern Jeff led the Canes with his career-high 33 goals last season.  The JStaal-less team kicks off their new year October 10 vs. the Islanders.  We’d like to see them do well – but not too well.  How does third in the Metropolitan Division behind the Pens and Capssound?  Or does that spot go to Tavares &  the Islanders now? This is the problem with having a favorite player on every team.

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Leave a Reply

  1. Farah Reply

    Nomination: Beau Bennett. I hear he’s gonna have some extra time on his hands for the next few weeks.

    • I would concur with Beau Bennett if Olli Maatta wasn’t an option. He has intern material written all over him.

    • Pants Reply

      I love Beau, but as the resident accident-prone spaz in this office, I’m not sure how much work he could actually do…

  2. I nominate Tyler Johnson for your new intern. There’s no question he works his butt off, and he also has that little brother look. I’m biased because he’s my favorite.

  3. Amy V. Reply

    I nominate Ryan Murray from the Blue Jackets. He also seems to have time on his hands too, poor baby.

  4. Torey Krug or Dougie Hamilton. Actually, Dougie is the better option. He’s tall enough to catch things on the top of the shelf, play basketball and has the most sweet awkard voice in the world.

  5. Lena Reply

    Kasperi Kapanen. You might have to monitor his social media use, though.

  6. jana Reply

    The first guy to come to mind is Valeri Nichushkin. He may be a bit busy while playing with Benn and Seguin, however, he barely speaks a lick of English–which could get him into all kinds of office shenanigans (wrong office supply orders, wrong lunch orders, not being able to take phone messages …).

    • jana Reply

      Not to mention possible office visits from Benn and Seguin. 🙂

  7. Aaron Ekblad. Gotta get em while they’re young and impressionable. (Yes. He is legal. Somehow)

  8. All these choices are fantastic. Maybe we should hire all of them?

    @Jana – with Valeri, I feel like everything he messed up would have to be accompanied by a tin-canned laugh track.

  9. “All dimples and built like Beyonce.” HAHAHAHAHAHA

    I kind of want to compile a Top Quotes of WUYS. 1) Because it would rule, and 2) Because it would mean reading/re-reading your entire blog, which would also rule.

    I have some long haul flights coming up. That might be a good diversion.

  10. MJLee Reply

    If you want someone who seriously looks like a baby faced 12 year old King Joffrey Barthaeon look no further than young Swede William Nylander the Maple Leafs first round draft pick.Extremely cocky and divinely skilled on the ice, he’s a teeny tiny baby with amazing hair..

  11. Cassy Reply

    Definitely Dougie H: he will teach you how to Dougie and *BONUS* Bergy, Spoony et al might drop by the office (and they might bring Whatchmacallit bars for MEEEEE

  12. Pingback: What I’m trying to say… | What's Up, Ya Sieve?

  13. I just realized that Intern Jeff Skinner literally grew up one intersection away from me!

    And I second William Nylander.