A Holiday Essential

Someone in the Penguins PR department is developing our sense of humor.  While the San Jose Sharks still win for the best ever fake Christmas CD [video], followed by the Blackhawks and Toews’ HOF derp-face [video], this year’s holiday effort by the Penguins is pretty hilarious.

Video: Pittsburgh Penguins 2013 Holiday Card

Made during Movember, the Penguins appear to have been pulled out of a police lineup, given Santa hats and told to hold up these CDs.  I feel like I’m trying to ID the guy I saw creeping around my yard in an episode of Law & Order.


Poor Matt Niskanen was so nervous he almost forgot how to pronounce his own last name.  (The innocent guys are always the most awkward.)


Some of the fake track titles are gems, like using a last name as a verb in “Martin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and “Malkin’ in a Winter Wonderland.”


Even the Captain’s here, making Skeptical Sid face.  But he said “kissing” and I giggled like a loon on loon pills.


Just when you think you’ve seen it all, or at least are wondering where the heck Malkin is during all this, they saved the best for last.  Kris Letang looking like a straight up madman.


Ha!  I feel like he popped out of a dumpster and shouted at me.  I threw my purse down and ran for it.  From the NHL Department of Player Sanity, his Disney Prince status currently under review.

Happy holidays, everyone.  If this unavailable fake CD isn’t quite what you’re hoping for in your stocking this year, may you at least be reminded of that time Sid couldn’t fit his wagon in this chair.


He’ll never fit down a chimney.

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  1. Tracy Reply

    Ha ha “From the NHL Department of Player Sanity, his Disney Prince status currently under review.” How did I miss Sid not fitting in a kiddie chair?

  2. Danielle Reply

    This video is
    So. Freaking. Funny!
    Flyers Got Runover by a Reindeer 🙂

  3. “O Olli Night”!!! But my favorite HAS to be Juice and his befuddled, “I don’t get it.” HAHAHAHA

    And Disco on the cover in an ugly Christmas sweater is priceless! Jen (the Pens’ PR Lady) must have had a BLAST with this!!!

    LOVE these boys!!

  4. Trolling4Hockey Reply

    Hehe! That was pretty funny! I was a wee bit disappointed the Penguins were not wearing the requisite holiday sweaters like the ones in the St. Louis Blues video. In addition, burn on the Flyers! Were they only team mentioned in that fly-by list of songs?

  5. That is the least French Canadian that Tanger has ever sounded, probably in his entire life. It (and the kiddie toucher stache/smile combo) almost makes him un-sexy. Almost.

    • I don’t know whether to laugh or be embarrassed for them. I love that damn team

      • Pat Reply

        Yeah, that’s kind of what I was thinking. Especially in comparison to their Christmas CD video from 2011. They did nail Toew’s character perfectly though.