Focus Features

If you’re the NHL’s First Star of the Week, you’re already having a time. It’s not really fair that you also look like this:

stamkos1 Hi-res left/right

Jeez, Stamkos.  Leave something for the mere mortals.

These are (again) from the Sharp for Men November ’13 issue photo shoot.  You can download the issue for your iPad here.  All photos by @MattBarnesPhoto.


If you download the issue, you get a bonus behind the scenes video of this photo shoot.  Did I mention it’s only $2.99?  It should be $299.99.  Of you could have Lindsay, who went to great lengths to make sure I/we got to see the highlights:



Whose job is it to soak just the chest of his t-shirt?  Does that require a Canadian government security clearance (which I would never get because of this blog)? And one of those shampoo visors from the 80’s that fits around his torso?


It’s exactly, perfectly half of his shirt.


Not that you’re looking at his shirt anymore.


Kidding, I’m kidding!  Nice watch.

His legs are rather skinny, which must be the aerodynamic prototype for, say, skating 100 MPH or static jumping 7 feet in the air.  Also the reason for creating slim-cut suit pants.


This one is my favorite – just Steven and a thermostat.  Insert “Is it hot in here or just me?” joke.


So stylish and composed, yes?  Classy and unflappable?  Not entirely.

Congrats to Steven on being Steven and winning awards.  It’s what he does.  This time it might just work on a larger scale – the Lightning have won three in a row and sit atop the Eastern Conference.


The Bolts have… hang on.  My phone is ringing.

Hi John.


What’s that?  I cut off the standing above the Islanders?


But you prefer this one and I have to include all the way to the bottom?


I get it.   You are not interested in Stamkos’ faux-sweaty t-shirt.  Or his legs.  No, I don’t think special effects are involved in the making of those high-jump videos. Yes, I can stop talking about other players when you’re having a rough day.


I guess somebody didn’t like being reminded about that missed penalty shot back in the day.

Oh, I’m kidding.  Poor John, the Isles traded his BFF Matt Moulson to Buffalo.  In that vein, poor Matt Moulson.   I didn’t know Tavares was the godfather of Moulson’s daughter – that makes me want to cry.


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Leave a Reply

  1. that girl Reply

    Will pay cash to be that towel. Please…?

  2. I finally downloaded Sharp magazine after a nap on Friday, when I’d taken the day off. Watched the behind the scenes video and practically DISSOLVED INTO ATOMS – $2.99 is a bargain deal for porn, ladies. My god. I didn’t know walking and elevator music and suits and leg shots could be so incredible.

    “Now I spilled Coke all over my shirt.” Correct, Steven.

  3. Off topic, but I’m trying to decide what’s worse…the mustaches in the last pic or the jerseys. Poor Moulson just can’t escape hideous 3rd jerseys

    • Pants Reply

      All good contenders, Deb, but the worst thing in that photo is Tavares’ mustache. He looks like Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico… and it’s almost November again.

  4. MChat Reply

    You ladies are DOING IT this season – love every post..even though you don’t have a Rangers fan working on the blog. I love how enthused yall are about Tavares this season. maybe a post on saying goodbye/happy retirement to Marty Biron would be fun? He has beauuuutiful eyes and is a really beloved personality guy. anyways, thanks for the great work keeping us all entertained.

    • Yes, please! I’d love a farewell to Marty (and his adorable son Jacob’s vlog features). I’ve loved Marty since he was an Amerk.

  5. “Not that you’re looking at his shirt anymore.” Nope.

    “Kidding, I’m kidding! Nice watch.” You’re not kidding (anyone).

  6. jana Reply

    And let’s not look passed the fact that Stamkos apparently wears boxer briefs.

    ***collapsing on floor in a hot mess***

  7. I am so upset about Moulson, I didn’t know JT was his daughter’s godfather, ugh. Every time they trade a player it seems to be a bad idea, go figure, Moulson had I think 2 goals in his first game in Buffalo, not to mention just looking at stats, he’s been better than Vanek the last three seasons, but I digress, this is just another example of the Islanders’ inability make proper life choices.

  8. Amy Reply

    Dear Steven, please stop making me fall in love with you. It’s making Sid jealous.