Chip Shots

Back on Monday, Steven Stamkos and James Neal played in the RBC Canadian Open.  As always, golf is just an excuse to make questionable fashion decisions and work on your aim.  Like any good night out.

Stammer took this opportunity to wear this:

golf2 Source: Twitter

What is this math?!  I see constants – hideous sponsor-required Nike belt, chunky shoes, mismatched patterns on hat and shirt – but they act like variables and combine to make a new result.  The sum of this bizarre equation is that Stamkos manages to wear it like the Batsuit and I would Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally the heck out of this, okay?

Stammer also used the power of his white pants to photobomb every single picture of Neal.

golf1Source: Twitter

Normally the idea of a white belt makes me want to die, but this is considered very stylish on the golf course.  My dad would approve (of the belt.  Not James.  Look at his hair.)

golf3James: Here I am, front and center.  Me: Hmmm?  Sorry, what?

Neal finally got one here – he’s being told he cannot pass any closer to Steven’s white pants, but at least we’re getting a look at his tattoos.  And that hair.


It appears Stammer never went back for James, because there are no more pictures of Neal.  Maybe he left to buy some white pants of his own.

golf5I’m just going to…

golf4… stand like this…

golf6… maybe a little of this…

golf7… pretend to be modest…

golf8…. then surprise you all…

golf9… and bask in the glow of your inevitable adoration.

In case you’re not convinced, or golf isn’t your thing, Steven is also available for parties.  Make that wedding receptions.  If this is the ‘something blue’ I’d like to borrow more pieces of it, please.  Can the bride object to her own wedding from the altar and say, “But I didn’t know he was going to wear THAT?”

stammer stammer2Melissa would like it known that Teddy Purcell is also hot. 

I don’t think the first test of your wedding is meant to happen while the wedding is still going on.  I hope this is the picture on their thank you notes.

The boys also attended the Jay-Z/Justin Timberlake show in Toronto.  Who wouldn’t, right?  There’s always a chance JT is going to bust out the chorus of “Tearin’ Up My Heart” and then… wait.  That’s not why people go, is it?  Damn.


We’re giving this one to James.  The hair is magnificent.  And that’s very nearly a Lightning logo on your shirt – don’t take this bromance too far, okay?


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  1. LORD. If there was ever a summer I wish I lived in Toronto….THIS ONE. They can never be apart. Do you think Steven asked Nate Thompson if he could bring Neal as his date to the wedding? They’re going to Newfoundland next week together (of course) and I can’t wait for the shenanigans.

    As for the JT/Jay Z concert, according to Alison the heat inside Rogers Centre was so intense it could have killed someone. No wonder James’ hair looks amazing. All that humidity…the curls. I can’t even. Summer is the best. I almost don’t even want it to be October. Did I really just say that?

    • I still can’t believe Stamkos wore FULL LENGTH PANTS to the JT/Jay-Z concert. I was in shorts and standing under an AC vent and I still sweat through the entire thing. This “guys shouldn’t wear shorts” rule does not apply if you live in southern Ontario during the summer.

  2. michelle Reply

    If that half naked wedding pic didn’t appear in this sieve post, i was gonna give you what for! took you long enough! i saw that tweet in real time and my first comment was, OMG the Sieves will go insane for this.

  3. Melissa Reply

    Could we get a mention of the hotness that is Teddy Purcell?? We have a fab bromance brewing between Stamkos & Purcell. I like it. A lot.

    • Pants Reply

      Right you are, Melissa. I updated the photo caption for you. 😉

  4. I approve of both men’s golf attire, hideous belts and all, except what are those shoes James is wearing? They look like orthopedic geriatric shoes like Grandma used to wear. I’ll just focus from the waist up.

    • jana Reply

      Deb, I see we are on the same wave length. I saw your post after I posted mine. He should be sitting on some bench watching the world go by in a Florida retirement home with those shoes!

  5. Melissa Reply

    I greatly appreciate the updated photo…. I know it’s hard to see past the blue splendor Stamkos is rocking, but Teddy with all his teeth IN? Hot. Damn.

  6. jana Reply

    Having met James Neal in person last summer, I can verify he’s even better looking in person. BUT, I can’t forgive him either for his fashion choices–at least on the golf course. His shoes look like he should be a grandpa in Florida and the white belt ends up just cutting his body in half. It’s not good.

    But then I see that hair. I’m not normally a long-hair-on-a-guy-kinda girl, but on James, it works.

    Dammit. I forgive you Neal.

    • MB Reply

      I second all of that. And he IS much more magnificent in person. I’m not sure how he manages that, but it’s true. And it’s magical. It even makes us overlook the scary fashion mistakes (his shoes are almost always horrible)! I’m with you on the hair, too, Jana. I’m not usually into that, either, but so help me, I just want to touch his hair!

  7. Alicia Reply

    I was told long ago never to trust a man wearing white pants!

  8. alysha Reply

    OMG! Their pants just look so weird. I’m thinking maybe it’s because the shirt was tucked in, but then I realized, it was their hockey butts. They just kinda make the pants look….I don’t know. Found this post highly amusing!