Get Your Shine On

Remember the NHL Awards?  Cringe-inducing awkwardness and mispronunciation, doled out by people whose titles must precede their names for recognition?  “… and actor (that guy who played Ed back in the day)….”


It turns out I really miss those.

The NHL handed out their awards over the weekend while I had no internet and no idea it was happening.  Oh well.  My campaign for a “make up for the lockout and no All-Star Game” program involving a swimsuit competition and push-up contest apparently fell on deaf ears.

hawks4We’ll always have this Blackhawks TV episode.

Deprived of suits, shiny toys and the potential of a Biz & Gingeroux Take Vegas Instagram-Fest, let’s discuss the winners.

Hart Trophy/League MVP – Alex Ovechkin

ovi Is that a tray of watches and potato pancakes?

Mmmmmkay.  I would have gone with Crosby, but research indicates I may be biased.  Can you miss 1/4 of 1/2 of a season and still be MVP?  Fine, I guess not – but Sid only lost by 4 votes.  I did admit this was the first year I have appreciated Ovi.  If this award inspires him to play like his three Hart-worthy seasons (instead of last season!) in the future, it’s cool by me.

John Tavares, what do you think?


Selke/Best Defensive Forward – Jonathan Toews

EA Sports NHL 11 Launch Event

Approved.  Chuck would say Bergy but with the season the Hawks had, seeing one of their lead offensive players (T-1st in team goals, 2nd in points) also be their best defensive forward is especially impressive.  Why work that hard when you’re winning all the time anyway?  Because it’s a huge part of how you win all the time.

Lady Byng/Sportsmanship – Marty St. Louis


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUISHY!!  He’s 38 today.  It’s easy to assume Squishy wins this award (almost) every year because he’s small.  Not true.  Brad Marchand is small.  You with me?  St. Louis also lead the NHL in points – at 37, he was the oldest player to ever do this.  Score that much and be nice about it? Our moms are so proud.

Vezina/Best Goaltender – Segei Bobrovsky


In a world where Bobrovsky was traded and now the Flyers will buyout Bryzgalov’s monster contract, are you laughing a little?  I’m laughing.  I also applaud Bob’s gutsy choice of suit and tie.  Gotta be sauve when you’re up against King Henrik.

Norris/Best Defenseman – PK Subban


I know voting only takes regular season into account, but if this went to Kris Letang after the Pens’ playoffs even I would have been ashamed.  Maybe next year, Tanger.  Maybe you need a ponytail holder.  I don’t like Subban but I’d like him if he were on my team.  All those chin-ups with the 100 lb. of extra weight have paid off.

Calder/Best Rookie – Jonathan Huberdeau


I saw maybe 3 Panthers games all year and Huberdeau scored in all of them so I’m on board with this.  Jon also has the appropriately wry jawline and poufy hair potential to replace Matt Smith as Doctor Who, if they could tape only in summer.

Lindsay/Most Outstanding Player (by NHLPA) – Sidney Crosby


Being voted Most Outstanding by fellow players in pretty great.  Sid would rather have the Cup, the Richard, the Hart… but this award is this season for Sid, especially with his injury.  I’m not going to gush.  Just sum up my feelings with the time Sid went to a Justin Beiber concert in the same week I went to a Justin Beiber concert.  I love everything.  Hold it together, girls.

sid beiber

Side note: The title of this post does not endorse the Nelly remix of Florida Georgia Line’s song.  Yes I admitted to Bieber but even I have standards.

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  1. Two things:
    – That gif of Jake? My forever reaction to Ovi winning the Hart. Sorry I’m not sorry but I just cannot accept this. I’d take Tavares, even on the Islanders.

    – Sid….your hair. Now that you’ve shown just what a long post-season can do…that’s like a damn glamour shot. RIP.

  2. Jocelyn Reply

    Holy Hossa! Thanks for the BHTV revisit. God Bless Paul Goodman.

  3. Even though I was denied getting to see Jon win the Selke in person in 2011, no formal awards show this year did mean getting to see him give his acceptance speech in shorts. And what shorts they were! (Still doesn’t make up for his Hart snub… East Coast bias! 4th place out of 700-something ain’t bad I guess.). It’s also worth noting that PKane was second for the Lady Byng. Oh the jokes!

    Can we please also address the fact that Ovi is eating caviar in that picture? And we will NOT discuss the fact that you have managed to find a picture of him that kinda does it for me. I blame the pastries.

    The field trip to the 2014 Awards is on, yes? It’ll also be Amanda’s 21st and I promised her male exotic dancers.

    • Pants Reply

      I almost made a PKane note too, because he’s little and supports the St. Loius stereotype. But mostly because it’s hilarious for Kaner to be so sportsman like on the ice and so festively/aggressively intoxicated at other times.

    • Birthday bonus points if those male exotic dancers are NHL players.
      Hallsy and make sure to have EMTs nearby. Or that he’s trained in CPR.

  4. Deb Kogan Reply

    The idea of a swimsuit competition just might sustain me during the loooong summer

  5. Cassy Reply

    Didn’t Bergy win SOMETHING this year?! Arrrrrrrggggghhhhh!

  6. Amy Reply

    Along with the pushup contest, I respectfully request a squat line too. 🙂

  7. Kathy Reply

    I, too, am saddened by the fact that there were no wild adventuress for Giroux and Biz. Oh, the shenanigans that could have ensued, but, alas, will never be. Maybe next year. I never understood why the Flyers traded away Bob. And Bryz might be out the door. If Mason flops, we got nothing. Don’t get me started about their defense.