Oilers Got Talent

Is everyone up in Edmonton drunk?  Or do they come up with (and execute) ideas like this while sober?  Either way, I think Edmonton is my heart’s true home.  “Oilers Got Talent” has the boys demonstrating some questionable skills that, to be honest, are about what we’d have to offer any pageant that wasn’t an eating contest or doing The Dougie.


First, Hallsy plays the recorder like he did back in grade school.  Apparently, “The girls used to love it.”  Sure thing.  That is, any girl who knew that 15 years later you’d be sitting like that.


Ebs does a pretty decent magic trick, if you can get past the video frame “randomly” chosen by a perverted/brilliant female intern at YouTube who will always have a job here:


In case you can’t, he gives you not one but TWO suggestive eyebrow raises at the end.  That’s Canadian Sign Language for “Go back and watch it again.”

Molly Ringwald RNH manages to be both the most committed and least interested Oiler.  He’s wearing a headband for heaven’s sake!  It accentuates his eyebrows!  Give the kid a hall pass.


Standing also accentuates how skinny and bow-legged RNH is.  He should’ve been a cowboy.

Now you heard from Cabbie’s “To Do” list segment that Justin Schultz is looking for a girlfriend.  In case aaaaalllllll his points didn’t tell you, his talent is reminding you that he’s got really good hands.


The wide angle also reminds you he’s wearing brown shoes with a black shirt. But how do you feel about shaved heads?

schultzSchultz, Yakupov and teammates shave heads in cancer fundraiser [video]

I think they look great!!

There are other Oilers on this team (Nonsense!), one of whom can actually,  HELLO!  Hi there American over six feet tall closing in on 30 years of age.  Have you met Chuck?  She likes California wines and ‘Firefly’ reruns.  Call her.


Corey Potter promptly puts himself in harm’s way to help a friend, in case his juggling didn’t convince you.  This Smid guy’s kinda cute too – what is going on up north?  Does Edmonton get a preview on new toys from Santa’s Workshop?


Last but not least, Hemsky and Jones are rock stars, complete with autotune. They’re just missing a piano key necktie.


You can enter the contest here – I’m guessing you have to be an Alberta resident, which pins all our hopes on Lindsay.  She won’t hesitate to ask for talent demonstrations in person.  Pack your salt shaker, babe.


Leave a Reply

  1. I just ordered Taylor 364 more of those shirts.

    I volunteer to help him work on his talent. Honestly, he should just switch his talent to looking flawless.

    • Pants Reply

      Can you PLEASE go to an Oilers game with a white board and ask him out? What do you need to make this happen? I’ve got dry erase markers and a billion airline miles, which ought to get you at least halfway to Edmonton.

      • OH MY GOD, YES. I really want to do this now. And it needs to be soon before the joke is too old. If only East teams played West teams this season I could make this happen without even booking a flight.

        • Alison, we start collecting pocket change and I learn the recorder.

  2. Ryan Jones is one of my favorite humans.

    That’s all I’m going to say because I’m still giggling over the way Jordan was stroking that salt shaker and my comments about blowing Taylor’s flute are just going to get me into trouble.

  3. Why are we even discussing #TeamHall vs. #TeamEbs when there is #TeamCorey. Sorry Chuck, but I may have to fight you. No. Fighting is too aggressive. Rock, scissors, paper, lizard, Spock. But I go to Edmonton. A lot. I’m going again in May. Just saying.

  4. These videos are perfection. I don’t know whose social media people I like more – Edmonton’s or Chicago’s. Either way, they know exactly what we’re all looking for.

    Why don’t the Bruins do fun things like this for me to swoon over between games?

  5. hotstovebb Reply

    My favorite part of the head-shaving video is when they introduce Justin Schultz. People cheer. The look on his face … priceless. Every day is Christmas for this dude. The Oilers are deep in hilarity – Gagner, Smid, Jonesy, DUBY! to name a few. Without out a doubt, Oilers and Blackhawks are best at marketing the team/players. Pens right up there.

  6. Deidra Reply

    How do I send you a photo of James Neal you might be interested in?