Is everyone up in Edmonton drunk?  Or do they come up with (and execute) ideas like this while sober?  Either way, I think Edmonton is my heart’s true home.  “Oilers Got Talent” has the boys demonstrating some questionable skills that, to be honest, are about what we’d have to offer any pageant that wasn’t an eating contest or doing The Dougie.

First, Hallsy plays the recorder like he did back in grade school.  Apparently, “The girls used to love it.”  Sure thing.  That is, any girl who knew that 15 years later you’d be sitting like that.

 

Ebs does a pretty decent magic trick, if you can get past the video frame “randomly” chosen by a perverted/brilliant female intern at YouTube who will always have a job here:

 

In case you can’t, he gives you not one but TWO suggestive eyebrow raises at the end.  That’s Canadian Sign Language for “Go back and watch it again.”

Molly Ringwald RNH manages to be both the most committed and least interested Oiler.  He’s wearing a headband for heaven’s sake!  It accentuates his eyebrows!  Give the kid a hall pass.

 

Standing also accentuates how skinny and bow-legged RNH is.  He should’ve been a cowboy.

Now you heard from Cabbie’s “To Do” list segment that Justin Schultz is looking for a girlfriend.  In case aaaaalllllll his points didn’t tell you, his talent is reminding you that he’s got really good hands.

 

The wide angle also reminds you he’s wearing brown shoes with a black shirt. But how do you feel about shaved heads?

Schultz, Yakupov and teammates shave heads in cancer fundraiser [video]

I think they look great!!

There are other Oilers on this team (Nonsense!), one of whom can actually,  HELLO!  Hi there American over six feet tall closing in on 30 years of age.  Have you met Chuck?  She likes California wines and ‘Firefly’ reruns.  Call her.

 

Corey Potter promptly puts himself in harm’s way to help a friend, in case his juggling didn’t convince you.  This Smid guy’s kinda cute too – what is going on up north?  Does Edmonton get a preview on new toys from Santa’s Workshop?

 

Last but not least, Hemsky and Jones are rock stars, complete with autotune. They’re just missing a piano key necktie.

 

You can enter the contest here – I’m guessing you have to be an Alberta resident, which pins all our hopes on Lindsay.  She won’t hesitate to ask for talent demonstrations in person.  Pack your salt shaker, babe.